Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning! Sunny and 80 here today and I'm excited to go on a hike with the kids. Also trying to get the summer figured out with child care. Since I work at home, it's nearly impossible to get work done with kiddos interrupting! I have lots of interesting ideas,

LC sorry you were reliving the past. The further you get from your last drink, the more distance you will feel. I think it is natural to revisit stuff in the course of our healing; kudos for taking a deep breath and jumping in. Now just don't stay there

Neva, you sound great! I don't think I've met you, but it's nice to see you here! Great story about your therapist. People really can sense our transformations when we stop drinking. Keep up the good work and enjoy your relatives!

I'm excited for a run in the sun to wear my dog out before we take her on a public trail. She's the biggest 3-yr. old waggle puppy when it comes to other people and dogs!!

Happy day everyone, I'm thinking about you all!!

Does anyone have contact info for G? I know he has ventured away from time to time; I just hope he is ok.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great to see a busy nest, and everyone working his/her plan.
My walking partner passed this morning, Im sad to say. It was roughly one month ago she went in for simple surgery and discovered cancer. While in recovery, she suffered a stroke. She and I spoke many times about how we might go, and I know she did not want to linger in a nursing home. She passed peacefully in her sleep just before noon today.
She has been my neighbor since 1993, but it wasnt until 2006 that we really got to know each other. I fell down the stairs on Christmas day 2005 (yes, it probably WAS AL related) and broke my tail bone, consequently, my left hip gave me considerable trouble, even after surgery. The prescription? WALKING. Trouble was, I had trouble making myself do it. I saw her one weekend out in the yard and asked her if she woukd like to join me. We have been walking ever since.
She never knew of my trouble with AL. Some days I know I wreaked of it, but I made sure I didnt get too close so she might smell it. If she ever suspected it, she never said anything. She also never knew my struggles as I was trying to quit.
RIP dear lady.
Appreciating how precious life is. Byrdie

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

byrd i am so sorry to hear about your friend, you will miss her dearly. Sending you hugs today.

LC great to see you and keep posting, i always worry when i dont see you. Oh blame, had plenty of that to deal with and forgiveness for myself and others about what has happened in my life. I do remember in the early days when all those thoughts were overwhelming i had to put them away for another time. they just led to stress and remorse and wishing things had been different. The past is the past and that is where it needs to stay when we have dealt with it. God my relationships were a nightmare, the people i fell into bed with drunk, my marriage, the man i "had to have" when my marriage fell apart to be whole. All with al thrown in to make it worse. Now that i have been by myself and 3 plus sober i found what i want now i have to keep it and nuture it. I am still wary, i dont want to be hurt and disrespected as its what i was used to but time is teaching me to communicate and appreciate the small things and hey when he throws me his credit card and says "go shopping" i have a winner lol. You will heal and life will be so much better. When someone told me not to get involved with anyone early in sobriety and to wait at least a year i thought they were nuts but we go through so much emotionally within ourselves that we need that year for us.

Kensho i ran into G the other day and he looks great. We hopefully plan to catch up before Easter for a coffee and chat which will be lovely.

Lav, now if you are waiting for spring that means we are heading for winter! We have had some beautiful weather the last few weeks but its cooling down in the mornings so your will get your wish soon.

A busy kind of day for me. Homework, some cooking for dinner, visiting the mans mum who i would love to adopt as my own and some us time. No waking with a hangover, no wishing i didnt drink, no looking in the mirror hating the person looking back, no trying to remember what i did the night before. I can just appreciate the day and know that what happens is my choice.

Take care x

[Lost Soul]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening all,
Hope everyone is having a relaxing weekend?
Today has been exhausting & a have a sore head from too little sleep & too much noise! My son had his friends to sleep last night & I think six 11 year olds is too many! It was an exception, for a late birthday treat but I think I'm playing catch up with sleep & general house stuff from during the week so could have seen it far enough! I'd forgotten I'd said to my 2 friends to come round last nite for a catch up as well so had a hectic time!

LC, sounds like you are doing well moving through things at your own pace & thankyou for the link x

A big well done on your 3 weeks ssd & congratulations on your day 3 pan x

Neva, my 'story' is bloody desperate, but my journey atm is 'boring' to others to hear about but not to my kids

Byrdie, your friend sounded like a wonderful support & companion, I am so very sorry for your loss :hug:

Sending everyone else my best wishes x
Wishing all a safe & sober Saturday x
LS

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pan- welcome to MWO and to our comfy nest! It's great to have you here. Keep checking in every day and let us know how you are doing. Would love to learn more about you as time goes on.

Ne- hiiiii! I never knew we could @ people! Hahaha that was cool! Great to see you.

Ava- I'm so glad you ran into G. Please tell him I miss him and have been thinking amid him.

Byrdie- oh I'm so sorry about your friend. Such a sad sad day.

Mario- I don't have much Irish blood (a little) but I always got good and hammered on St. Patrick's day. Not anymore!

I saw May people drinking a dressed up all over yesterday. I stayed in and made it a pizza night! But I will make a corned beef and cabbage tomorrow after church.

Got some cleaning and organizing done today. It feels good to be discovering myself sober. The longer I stay sober, the more like myself I feel. However, I need to reacquaint myself with myself (lol) because it has been many years since I have not been in "drink-recovery-drink-crisis-drink-recovery" mode.

Wishing everyone a soft comfy night in the nest.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still waiting for that ever elusive Spring to arrive. I guess it will get here when it gets here.

Byrdie, very sorry about your friend :hug:

LC, thank you for posting that article. It's so true - we give up nothing when we quit drinking. I had no idea how much I was going to gain & how much I was actually going to grow personally. Pushing the guilt out of my head was a monumental process, it took time. I also had a few people I wanted to blame but then I figured no - let it go. I was also an active participant in my own downfall. A year from now you will be seeing things very differently, I promise.

Ava, glad to hear G is OK & you are moving right along in the good life

Hello to Mario, nursie, Neva, LS, Kensho & everyone.
Wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all.

Lav

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Evening All-
Almost through day four of being AF. A few wobbly moments and feeling a bit irritable but doing ok. Last night, I made a pitcher of raspberry tea and put it in the fridge. My 14 year old sent a text to my 18 year old saying he was afraid that it was a pitcher full of wine. A reminder to me of why I need to stay sober but also felt the shame regarding the worry and fear that I have laid on these children with my selfishness over the years.

Byrdie- I'm sorry about your friend. Life is so fragile and precious. You post reminded me that some of the things I've been frustrated about today are really unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

Thank you all for your testimonies and encouraging words and congratulations to all on one more day of sobriety.

Pan

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters, Some great positive & helpful reading here this morning,

Byrdie sorry about your friend,


I will go to a CA meeting near me this morning, This particular one I find great, Very open minded & everyone is welcome, no matter what your addiction is, I find from listening that for the majority of folks dropping in there primary addiction was Alcohol & the drugs came then after, In some cases overtaking there alcohol addiction, I find it great. Sure its only for an hr , what's an hr out of your day when it concerns getting your life back on track.

Hope you all have a lovely Sunday & remember don't quit quitting...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, so sorry to hear about your friend. Hope you’re doing okay.

Kensho, thanks. I feel pretty good. I think, for me, it makes a difference that this isn’t my first go-round. I HATE that I relapsed, but I know how amazing it is to be sober. The magic is already happening. And it’s nice to meet you! I think you arrived as I was leaving…about two years ago. Plus, I mostly posted on the Meds threads.

LostSoul, I hear ya’ about being desperate AND boring. Ha. I can’t imagine that many 11 year olds in one place, and friends to entertain on top of it. I’d have to hide in my study. Hope you can relax today, and feel better.

I was with relatives this weekend, and met girlfriends for dinner last night. Like Byrdie’s friend, they didn’t know anything until they did, and were with me through some real struggles. Amazing to have ‘normal’ friends, and their unconditional support. But today I’m holing up in my house, cleaning and reading and writing. No company!

@Nursie Hi bacatcha! Congrats on the sober time. And yes, I agree that getting reacquainted with ourselves is a process. I’m not sure who I am this go-round. Weird. I like how you put it—drink, recover; drink, crisis, recover, drink, drink, drink… ugh. To hell with that.

Available, would you say hi to Mr. G for me, too, if you remember? He might not remember me, but I defo remember him fondly and wish he was still posting.

Pan, CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so inspired by people who have only a few days and keep putting them together. I went to treatment this time, because honestly, I couldn’t get more than a couple of days in a row. Bummer about the text, but time will help heal those wounds. Theirs and yours. I love finding new things to drink. Right now it’s kombucha with fruit juices and seltzer. And real lemonade, from actual lemons. In the summer I make watermelon seltzers with mint. So much more refreshing than beer, and still rewarding after mowing the lawn.

I’m going to wander around MWO and see what everyone’s up to and then, well, a nap. Cleaning the windows if it actually stops raining. Lav, I can’t wait for spring, too! This cold snap is irritating.

:hug: everybody. Stay focused!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning from Virginia, Mario! We cross posted. I go to a meeting during the week at 7:30am, and really like starting the day that way. An hour to reframe my thinking around being grateful, being present in the moment, being with people who 'get' me. There was a bit of kerfuffle on Friday. Very unpleasant, actually. Lots of ego flying around, and this time it wasn't mine. Not sure how I feel about the meeting now. Such a bummer.
Hope you have a good day!

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning from Virginia, Mario! We cross posted. I go to a meeting during the week at 7:30am, and really like starting the day that way. An hour to reframe my thinking around being grateful, being present in the moment, being with people who 'get' me. There was a bit of kerfuffle on Friday. Very unpleasant, actually. Lots of ego flying around, and this time it wasn't mine. Not sure how I feel about the meeting now. Such a bummer.
Hope you have a good day!

Hi Neva, lovely to see you back posting, mean that in a good way :-) Yes our egos, My ego was huge back in the day & even now I have to keep it in check, At one stage I got that I thought I did not need meetings or any other work to keep me straight & clear, I thought sure I have years clean what would I need to go for , That's how I stopped coming here for a while, My ego.

I didn't have a drink or drug but I did fall down on other defaults that are forever lurking in the background as for us Stopping drinking etc is only one of many steps on a road to recovery.

[abcowboy]

I agree with [MENTION=8463]mario[/MENTION] [MENTION=12976]Ne/Neva Eva[/MENTION], it's great to see you back posting! What's even better is seeing you chalk up those AF days!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters. Thank you for the warm wishes. I appreciate them so much.

So here is the importance of a PLAN. After I posted last night, I got a call from one my my friend's friends. She is a busy body and I dont care for the woman at all. She is pushy and a master at laying on guilt (and she's not related to me!). She called earlier in the afternoon HURT that I didnt call to tell yer of our friends passing. I told her that she was always the one who called me, I ASSUMED she knew. Anyway, when I hung up the phone (with her a sobbing mess) I thanked my stars that this would be my last interaction with her. Bonnnnnnk (the sound of a game show buzzer when the contestant is wrong). She called again at 5 ish, still sobbing. She was going to Mass and wondered if she could come over afterwards and sit in our friend's house and tell her good bye. UGG. I asked her what time she would be coming and she said about 6. So I called my friend's son to make sure it would be ok to go in the house and waited for her to come. I didnt take my bath or eat. At 7:10, she strolls up and starts crying again (and no apology for being an hour late), all I want to do is get this overwith. So what does she pull out of her bag? A bottle of WINE! 'We're going to have a drink for our friend!' she announced. Now Im Hungry, Angry, Lonely AND Tired, but I whipped out my PLAN. She said, if you'll open it, I'll get the glasses. I said, I'll open it, but I'm not much of a drinker on a good day, and Im having a coliits flare at the moment and AL is a top offender, right up there with popcorn, nuts, broccoli, seeds, strawberries and I faded out after that. She poured her glass full. She drank and talked and cried. We finally left around 8:15. Im so glad that I had my pat answer ready and it came out before I even had to give it a thought. I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK WITH YOU! I dont know if she has an issue or not, but I remember lamenting those times that I wouldnt be able to drink.....toasts at weddings, a beautiful sunset, a vacation. How silly is that thinking that keeps us stuck in additiction? The wine had nothing to do with our celebrating our friend's life, it was just A THING. (And a thing that is out to kill us).

Stay strong and work your PLAN. Be ready for anything, do whatever it takes to make it clear to everyone (including YOURSELF) that you dont drink. It works!

Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - my hugs to you right now. Losing a dear friend and then having to deal with that awful woman!

Hi Pan! Great work on getting through your first week!
That one is definitely the toughest to get through. Keep it up and life will get brighter!

Ne/neva - 40+ days and such heartfelt words from your therapist must feel so good:hug: I am planning to see a counselor soon. I have a referral that will I am hopeful about. I've been waiting until I feel I can think more clearly. The sleep thing makes concentration tough!

[Lost Soul]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all? Hope everyone is well? Grateful to have got through another AF weekend. I can't remember when, a little before Christmas I think? I was a bit worried I couldn't make it - as my two long AF stints both started when I was expecting, so wasn't confident I could do it. Though I don't feel this way now - I Don't think I'm 'home 'n dry' either. It's just what it is, sometimes easy, sometimes a struggle. Enjoying the best bits & tell myself - climbing mountains isn't easy. Especially when youre doing it every day. You're doing well, will succeed & you can do this. Haha & that applies to everything really, a 'one size fits all' little mantra :happy2:

Ava, I Missed it, but thanks for the update on G & glad you'd a lovely day.

Lav, yes the elusive spring... hopefully not too far!

Nursie, gosh can I borrow you? I could do with a team this week in fact lol, ain't getting caught up at all!

Pan, well done on day 4 - it really does get easier as you build AF time. There is always ups & downs but I really think your confidence grows each time you manage through & don't drink, ALs power feels less strong x

Hope your meeting went well Mario! It's not my business what you were talking about personally obviously but wondered whether you meant associated thinking/behaviour with addiction? My counsellor mentioned stuff like this & I always had to put significant effort into staying 'balanced' by keeping things in perspective even before my relapse (at 4 years AF).

Neva, I like wandering the mwo corridors too :happy2: a wealth of knowledge x

That really was the last thing you needed Byrdie will be thinking of you & take care of yourself x Glad you have such a solid plan x

Waves to everyone near & far x
Wishing all a safe and sober Sunday
LS