Newbies Nest

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - I'm so sorry to hear about your pup. It is so hard to lose a pet. :hug:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Thanks to all for your thoughts & words :hug:
It's weird not having her here, it will take time to adjust. Maxie was a big 100 lb dog & a huge presence in our family. I will miss her kind & loving manner. We were so fortunate to have her so long.

LC, I found that the drinking thoughts started disappearing after a few months. After a year I would say that they were rare. Mostly the thoughts were swift - times of stress or whatever when I would think I used to drink 'over that'. The best thing for me was to actively recognize the thoughts & immediately push them out of my head. Distraction was the perfect tool. I hope you had a great day

Ava, I was typically triggered by the usual stuff - HALT
I had to teach myself to pay attention tot he hunger, anger, etc. Just grateful that we finally got it, huh?

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Thanks again to all :hug:

Lav

[Londoner]

Re: Newbies Nest

Straight back on it - I ended up drinking when out with the family on the weekend. Nothing crazy. Combination of having poor nutrition habits over the last few days and not practising my responses before going out.

I know that nothing mad, turns into something mad very quickly.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry to hear about Maxie Lav. Our pets are always a big loss. Take care of yourself.

Elvis has just clocked in with 1000 days! Good onya buddy.

Big waves to all.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, I'm so sorry you lost your canine buddy. Even when the end comes after a good, long life, it is so hard to accept the absence. My dog is getting older and greyer and one thing I'm really grateful for it that I have totally been there for her for this second half of her life (and not groomed her under the influence as I did our poor previous pup!). You were there for your dog for over half her life! She was truly a lucky dog.

Congratulations, Elvis! No more triple digits for you - EVER!!

but the rational me knows and accepts that i cannot ever drink.

I think liberating our rational selves is one of the keys to all of this [MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION]. Our rational voices are in charge for such a brief period of the day when we're in the throes of active addiction. For me, it was from about 6 a.m. until noon when I was swearing to myself once again that I was DONE and would not drink that day. But as afternoon wore on, the stronger, irrational, addicted part of my brain would emerge and that would change to "just one for sure this time" and by 4 or 5 pm I was desperately downing the first of several drinks once again. Once I started, I seemingly couldn't resist. None is so much easier and satisfying than the elusive "one".

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Elvis, congratulations on those 1000 days! How are you feeling about it all? If you could sing us a few bars, we will swoon. Great job on this huge milestone!
TJ! How right you are, one drink only leads to another. The only way to not drink too much is to not drink. It really IS easier. Well done on these two milestones, A new Page is right behind with hers, too! Keep up the great work everyone!

Glad to be home! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just got back from a nice visit with my daughter & her family. I really needed to see some smiling faces & my granddaughter is good for that

Elvis, a big CONGRATS to you on your 1000 AF days :yay:
No turning back now, not ever.

Londoner, perhaps you need to avoid family & drinkers for a while until you get your quit going & feel stronger. Give yourself a good month to build up some strength. I gave myself nearly 3 months before I dared to venture out anywhere & it helped!

Byrdie, welcome home!
How's the weather in your area? The heat has made a return here, geez.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest.

Lav

[Elvis]

Re: Newbies Nest

Elvis, congratulations on those 1000 days! How are you feeling about it all? If you could sing us a few bars, we will swoon. Great job on this huge milestone!

The warden threw a party in the county jail :celebrate:

The prison band was there and they began to wail :horn:

The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing :dancin:

You should've heard them knocked-out jailbirds sing :rockon:




Oh, you meant a speech? Now you tell me! I think the biggest revelation as of late is how normal it feels not to drink. Everyone who I hang out with regularly knows I don't drink, so they don't even bother asking anymore. At parties or hanging out, I kind of think they like having another sober guy around actually. Someone to help out the host and keep things on track. I certainly didn't lose any friends or invites by not drinking.

Let's see, I'm going to the gym like everyday. I'm staying active in my social life. I'm more focused at work. The house stays clean. I'm reinvested in my hobby and collection. Stress level is down. I sleep well and wake up refreshed. I'm pretty damn healthy for a 43-year old guy. I'm fun to hang around with. Basically, I'm living life as it's supposed to be lived! These are simple things you give up when you let alcohol control you.

I don't think it's news to anyone here that life will be better once you stop drinking. I'm mean, that's why you are all here -- drinking is ruining your life, and you need and want to stop. I understand how hard it is to quit. Made all the excuses myself, been there, done that. Drinking is such a big part of your life now, it defines you. Hopefully something I say today can help you change that. You're here reading this now, so I know you want change. Let's do it.

When you are ready to quit forever, you will know it. Until then, you have to keep trying. Keep making progress every day. Get some sober streaks under your belt. Break records. Have a plan in place and stick to it. Build your sober muscles. When you fall, get right back up and learn from it. Find and fix that reason you fell so it won't happen again.

The immediate physical symptoms of quitting suck (headaches, nausea, sweats), but they are short-lived. By day 4 you should be feeling much better. Then you can start building your muscles -- make a plan and stick to it. Have a ton of excuses for when people ask you to drink, or better yet, stay away from parties and other triggers for the first month or so. When you have more muscles, you can slowly add things back into your life. Be selfish and make it all about you. Quit is number one.

Have a support system so you don't have to do it alone. There is no reason to do it alone. Lean on the oh-so-wise-ones on this forum and learn from them. Tell someone you trust and care about that you are quitting and hold yourself accountable. And be accountable to me and others on this forum. You need to find your own thing, because what worked for me might not work you, but the two biggest turning points for me were when I broke down in tears and told my wife how I needed her support to quit, and when I started posting daily on the roll call to be accountable to all of you. Don't be afraid to try different things, you never know what will work and you'll never know unless you try!

All of you guys and gals are my heroes for quitting or trying to quit and never giving up. You are so brave and strong, it's amazing!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wow, gr8 post Elvis. thanks for writing and congrats again on 1000 days booze free.

Right behind you friend with 51 booze free days. The feeling's good and going well here.

Hola everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Elvis, you dont say much, but when you do, it's one for the books. Would you consider putting that post in the Tool Box for us? It's worth its weight in gold! Congratulations and THANK you for that wonderful speech! XO, B

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Elvis,
Go cat, go! You can do anything...
Congrats - most excellent post too.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great post Elvis, thanks for that
So happy to hear that you are happy & doing well. We have nothing to fear in quitting but fear itself!!!

Another hot day in Lav-land & now it's August, yay. I am a fall/winter girl so I'll be happy when we cool down.
Decided I needed a little more time for myself so I gave 18 of my hens to our Amish neighbor today. They're laying nicely & will make a good addition to his flock. I kept 3 layers & my 6 Jr chicks are just starting to lay so there will still be plenty of fresh eggs around. Sometimes yo just need to downsize a bit, ha ha!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[Struggles 106]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Gman

If you don't mind I have something cool I'd like to send to you. It's a little music related thing.
If it's ok pm me your address.

Ann

[Struggles 106]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all

Still here in the nest. I'm not posting much, but just because I'm staying busy taking care of my granddaughter more since my Hanna got a part time job.

I feel like something significant has happened/changed. Like driving by a Mexican place with habanero margaritas I used to like--I just kind of think,oh yeah I used to like those. But somehow the thought of drinking makes me go YUK. It's like on some level it has taken hold in my brain. I don't drink. I can't drink. I don't WANT to drink. Interesting to say the least. I have realized that when I go about my day as a normal functioning person, I see that drinking took some planning that might spring up under the guise of " a drink after work" going to a concert knowing there would be beer, many places with good food , but that being the pretense of the outing, and not the craft beer choices.
It's all a delusional bunch of bullshit designed for drunken mayhem that was sure to ensue.
I don't need that chaos to drain the energy I have for dealing with important stuff. Brave new world?
I guess so

Peace and love

Ann

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ann - I absolutely see the change in you. Congratulations - isn't it a wonderful feeling? :heartbeat: