Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Checking in on Sunday morning.

It was a beautiful day here yesterday - I got a good hike in with a friend and then a trip to the coast where it was an amazing, beautiful day. Not a lick of work - the first Saturday of that in a long while. It felt great! I also cooked a great, healthy dinner and played some games with the family. A really nice Saturday.

On Friday night I went to see some music and many of the women there were quite drunk. Two of them ended up getting in a sort of fight. It was SO ridiculous - grown women looking like four year olds. I hope that they woke up yesterday with some GSR and a long look at themselves. I think there is an underlying malaise sometimes among women with young children that can come up in their drinking - I see a lot of it around here. It makes me uncomfortable, incredulous, and incredibly happy that I don't drink! (not that I was getting into bar brawls...)

Happy SOBER Sunday all. Hearing you're UNHUNG makes me wonder how Narilly's doing??

Hope you're all well.

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav,I've wondered about Narilly too,it's been awhile

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters,

Gman, I love 3tcharms post. It's got me thinking about my own list. Not drinking requires constant maintenance and affirmations but it no longer occupies every minute of my day. I think it's time for me to review my goals.

Londoner, congratulations on your journey, you're picking up some sober momentum.

Byrdie, I'm so sorry to hear about Lilbit. I can never come up with any words of comfort because I don't believe there are any. I can only hope that she is not in pain, that she is surrounded by love and that her transition is peaceful. I'm so sorry.

Pav, your hiking sounds magical. I'm very active but I'm not much of a hiker. I think I get too focused on getting to the finish line that I forget to enjoy the journey. Ah, I think I just added something to my list.

LC you sound really great. Your kindness and support of Andre is admirable. I hope that he's able to find his way out.

Today is my 3rd day of nursing a pulled or strained groin muscle. I haven't been able to workout or take the dogs on walks. I had to leave work due to the pain, Getting in and out of the car is the most difficult transition. I think my aging body was telling me to get a handle on this a week or so ago but I ignored the signs. I really need to take more time to stretch before And after working out or horseback riding. Darn it! Today,I'm going out of my mind and I'm pretty sure I'm bringing my husband with me. The good news is that not once has AL crossed my mind and I JUST realized that as I type. HA!! It's an incredible mood lifter!

Hello Wags, Lav,Ava, Pauly, and any one I missed!

Hugs to everyone.
Roobs

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Had a great day attending my niece’s bridal shower. Was greeted with a mimosa! I asked for OJ only amd watched him pour it. It was a fun day and she got lots of very nice things, no duplicates.
Hope everyone had an easy day. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well my furry house guests have gone home, ha ha & not a minute too soon. I found one of the dogs walking around with one of my chickens in his mouth, duh. The chicken was not physically hurt, a little traumatized emotionally maybe. I almost had a heart attack!! Now my old Swiss mountain dog who passed away in July used to carry the chickens around all the time when she was younger & never ruffled anyone's feathers.

Glad to see everyone checking in today with positive progress reports
Hello to Wags, G, LC, Pav, Pauly, Roobs, Byrdie & everyone I've missed.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

afternoon nesters

Well back to work tomorrow and i have had a great break, put the car in for a service this morning and walked 5k's home, vacuumed, done some washing and pretty well done for the day now. I had my daughters 26th birthday yesterday, i bought food and we stayed in and yes she was hungover but doable. i am so glad i did not struggle to get out of bed and just get there. There are so many things to be grateful for.

Yesterday i was 200 weeks sober, i remember being 2 weeks sober and thinking i could not do this, it was too hard and i would fail. Little did i know back then that i would be where i am now with the life i have. Im still getting my shit together from the fallout of my drinking but i am in no hurry. the bills are paid, nothing gets cut off as i preferred wine to electricity back in the day, i can deal with the stress of life and i am happy to do it. sometimes i have that tug of feeling deprived when i cant have that 1 drink to feel included but when i reflect back to my drinking career there is no way in hell i want to be back there and i know that 1 drink will send me back. Next week is my sons 29th birthday and i just know i will drive there and be with him, there will be no dreading the drive or getting up to even drive.

London, i love coffee and im not giving that one up for anyone, 3 cups definitely a day for me and if i want more i can. no guilt in coffee guzzling here! It is the sugar addiction that i am finally overcoming. I had cake yesterday and god i wanted to just find and eat anything sweet, it was awful. today is way better and at the end of the day i have to make the decision to eat it or not. I think my walk fixed what i consumed yesterday and if i dont put it in my mouth i dont want it.

Glad everyone is sounding positive and happy. As i say to my son, its amazing what we can achieve sober and what we dont achieve when we are drunk. he is off job hunting and was sounding negative, i told him to find a positive and he said he cant. There is always a positve, being he woke up sober to do said job hunting. He agreed with that one!

Take care and happy 200 weeks Pav. x

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, another sober weekend in the books! I had a funny memory while making dinner this evening. When I first started dating my S.O. (now my spouse), I was over helping to host a little open house gathering. This was back when I was still drinking. We had a variety of beer and wine available for folks. At one point, I was asked to open a new bottle of wine for just one person who preferred that over beer. Now I was never a wine drinker so I barely knew how to use a corkscrew properly, but I managed that part ok. But then I was asked to put a bottle stopper in it - one that has a little vacuum that takes all the air out. I had NO clue how to make that work but I didn't want to call attention to myself so of course I didn't ask. It turned out ok, but I remember thinking at that time that this was unknown to me simply because of the wine aspect. This eve I opened the drawer and saw the bottle stopper and flashed back to that open house, but now clearly realize I didn't know how that stopper worked because I would NEVER have left an open bottle of ANYTHING unfinished so of course I wouldn't have ever used a stopper! It's pathetic, and I'm glad I now have enough time under my belt that I can laugh at myself and avow that I'm never going back.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters,

So, yesterday was a bit of a doozy. It's the first time in a while that the annoying AV's nagged me. I have been overbooked the past couple of weeks and am as well for the weeks to come.. a lot of work, but also a lot of nice stuff. And I've really been enjoying spending more time with my friends, finding myself again. But yesterday morning I was really stressed out. Thoughts of drinking came to mind and I pushed them away, but around noon I realised I was also entertaining them. Then it hit me that THAT was my main cause of stress and bad mood.. I'm clear as day that I don't ever want to drink again and it bothered me that I was spending so much time "convincing" myself of the reasons I should stick to my plan. After that I was better and it was no problem not to accept a glass of prosecco at my friends bday party.. I've been saying, "I already have a bit of headache" lately.. works well. I am so much happier sober.. my life is 100% more manageable and enjoyable. I have some down times and sad moments.. but usually a nap or a tea/coffee or a talk with a friend help.. and knowing it will pass. I've finally had enough experience with this fact to know, not just intellectually, but in my bones, that it WILL eventually pass. What a relief.

Roobs, sorry about your pulled muscle! Those are so painful.. I hope you'll be back to normal soon. So. Horses! You lucky Lady.. do you have your own? That's one of my biggest dreams.. to have a horse. Someday, maybe..

G-man, how are you doing?

Lav, I would've freaked out to see one of my chickens in a dog's mouth. Poor little chicken. What kind of dogs were they? How's your cold?

Another lovely fall day here.. Some of the leaves are already bright orange.. I have to remember to really take notice as often as possible.. soon they're gone!
:hug: to everyone!!

Edit: missed the last page of posts..

Ava!! Congratulations on 200 weeks! Inspiring post, thank you! Each day, as I'm moving along, I'm taking notice of all of the things/activities that are so much more enjoyable/manageable. So many things I let slide to the point of causing trouble. I really didn't have much of a will to live, dragging myself out of bed each morning for the daily drudge.. It's all in our minds, how we decide to perceive life. And I'm so happy AND grateful to be on this side of it!

Wags, I have a slightly different story.. my dad gave us one of those things years ago and I remember learning to use it quite well, as I was still heavily in denial with my drinking. So I think I closed them and opened them constantly for another "sip".. yuck.
When my friends left last night after dinner, I was washing up and could smell the red wine they'd had in the glasses and it didn't smell nice at all. I didn't feel any sort of a pull to drink last night and afterwards, I was so content, so glad that I hadn't.

I think this is where André has also helped me.. I packed up his things and took them to the basement yesterday.. with the exception of a change of clothes, in case he needs a shower at some point. Then last night my younger daughter and I walked over to the school where he sleeps and he was propped against his pillow, with his book open, passed out. He opened his eyes as we walked up and was mildly drunk and very happy to see us. He said he was rich in visitors this evening as my older daughter has stopped by and they'd talked about the film we'd seen in the afternoon, The Gods must be Crazy.. he laughed so loudly as he talked about his favourite parts.. I asked if he'd talked to his Social Worker and he had and he already knew there would be another room available on Wednesday.. he just has to make the effort and call and show up. So I do still have hope.. I really do have hope for all of us and I have seen people change.. Here!! with all of you, and within myself..

ok. now I really have to run to work!!

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning/Evening Nesters,

First - prayers and hugs for the victims, families, visitors and residents of Las Vegas. So frightening and brings back memories of Pulse.

LC - great job on redirecting those AV thoughts. I found I had to be very purposeful in changing my "drinking thinking" earlier in my sobriety - a lesson learned from others here. Now, with stronger sober muscles, if a drinking thought comes in, it doesn't linger at all. That type of purposeful-thinking is serving me well in a lot of other areas too. :happy2:

I had a wonderful aha moment this weekend. DH and I went to dinner and a movie (Battle of the Sexes - Emma Stone is amazing as BJK) with another couple we don't know well . After the show, the other man suggested we all go for a drink to a nearby bar - you could hear the live music. I was Switzerland and the other wife seemed okay either way too. The men were walking a bit behind us but I could hear my husband say he wanted to call it a night and "Mary doesn't drink." Now he said it as naturally as if he just said, "looks like rain." It made me smile and warmed my heart. Four years ago, on the brink of divorce and drinking to excess daily, I was at such a low I never could have imagined I would be AF and absolutely loving life with its wonderful ups and downs, and certainly not that we'd be together or that he would ever believe I could or would have years! of sobriety. Yet here I am, gratefully sober knowing I'm not the only one in this family that's changed their way of thinking.

Have a fabulous, sober day friends.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

MaryLou, at that birthday party at the neighbor's we went to on Saturday, my hubs said the same thing, "Byrdie doesn' drink" and it sounded really odd to me, because drinking used to be EVERYTHING and almost cost me a husband, and now the words fell from him lips easily. It was very cool. He has my back!

To the P-Ava Twins! 200 weeks! And coming up on a yooooooge anniversary! You two quit at THE hardest time of year, too. The AMAZING P-Ava Twins is more like it! Congratuations, you just don't see that everyday, much like this: :llama: Well done, ladies.

Back to the grind this week, another day, another dollar (literaly) Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava & Pav - Congrats on 200 weeks!!! That's so awesome that you have each other as quit buddies to celebrate this (and every) milestone!!!

Marylou - What a great story! That must have been wonderful to overhear, and then to feel deep down as content as you are - as far as you've come from where you were 4 years ago - that's really the cake (not just the icing )

Roobs - Ugh, sorry to hear about the groin muscle - that's one of those things you never think about, never realize how much you use them, until injured. Hope you're able to get some relief soon.

LC - glad neither of us will ever have to deal with vacuum bottle stoppers again. Good job thinking through your stress - so great to hear you're feeling it in your bones that these and other feelings will pass without a drop to drink.

Lav - that would have freaked me out about the chicken in the dog's mouth - glad the girls are all ok!

Waves to Byrdie, G-man, Pauly, Mr V, Londoner, and everyone else stopping by the nest today... Have a great start to your weeks fellow nesters!!!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Quick stop in. The Tool Box was at the top of the page, and this post stood out to me. It was written by a 2-year sober person to her just starting out self - I feel like almost all of the words could be mine.

...Well, copy and paste didn't work (the formatting all goes and it becomes a blob). Go check out the toolbox - all good, and this one is a page or two back.

I'll copy the first one - SO TRUE!

You think right now that being sober is a condition you’ll learn to tolerate–that you’ll make your peace with it as a safer but also somehow lesser way to live. But you’re going to end up loving it. Seriously. It will turn out that clarity is your ideal and happiest state of mind.

LC - Take care of yourself! I have found myself overbooked lately, too. It is stressful (even with good things)!

And happy 200 weeks, Ava! You're my inspiration. I know I'll never catch up to you, but I'll always be one day behind!

Happy SOBER Monday.

Pav

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. Quick check in. Day 37 for me.

Have had a terrible couple of days with morning sickness - sorry if it seems that's all I ever talk about, but right now it's just this cloud that hangs over my head 24/7. The only time I feel like not puking is when I'm asleep. Hunger makes it worse and nothing "healthy" sounds good, so I've been on a carb binge. I'm already heavier than I wanted to be and carb only eating isn't helping, but I keep telling myself I'll do better when I feel better. I'll exercise and eat right. I took a four hour nap yesterday (god bless my wonderful husband for taking care of our daughter). The whole time I was giving her a bath I just sat there and cried because I feel like this will never go away. It's so draining. I want to stop feeling sick. There's just this cloud that ruins every experience.

Sorry guys, just being whiny I know.

The only good thing about this is I've thought about how I NEVER want to drink again because I never, ever want to feel nauseated again. I never, ever want a hangover again. Much like how I have to remind myself about how I'll feel in a few hours if I eat spicy food, maybe now I can look back at this time and it'll make me think twice about putting a glass of wine to my lips.

5-6 more weeks and it should be over.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi. Quick check in. On day 3 or 4 here - I don't remember the day I stopped.

For me, the very best thing about not drinking is that I don't get immediately combative if my needs aren't met. Instead, I am SO much better at setting expectations, boundaries, and asking for what I need. When I do get upset, it is night and day as to how much better I communicate my frustrations or disappointment. It becomes a constructive experience - for me AND the other person - and I move on with my life. The other way (i.e. the way it happens when I am drinking even a little bit) NEVER has a positive outcome.

I had also forgotten how nice it is to have energy at 8:00 pm, and have clear, crisp thoughts. Not a bad thing when raising children

PAV - When I don't drink, my tolerance for alcohol-related childishness is nil too. Silly fights, stupid arguments, etc.

LC - You sound so much more at peace and grown up than before. Great job dealing with your AV yesterday.

Moonking, Sorry about your morning sickness - that’s the pits! It does make a lady wonder why we would ever cause nausea with alcohol... keep up the great work growing that human!

Off to the city today. I photograph a finished project the next couple days and have to prep. Have a good day!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

As if Monday mornings aren't bad enough we awake to the news of a mass shooting in Las Vegas. How terribly sad these things keep happening.

Pav & Ava CONGRATS on your 200 weeks AF :welldone:
You girls have definitely got the hang on this AF now, ha ha!!!

Moonking, I seem to remember a much shorter time with morning sickness with my second. Maybe you'll luck out too

Kensho, great start, stick with us!

LC, schedule a few moments of downtime for yourself - very important to take care of you too.
My cold has almost gone & the chicken seems to be no worse for wear today after riding in a Golden Retriever's mouth yesterday, ha ha!

Hello to Wags, ML, Byrdie & anyone I've missed.
Have a safe & peaceful night in the nest one & all!

Lav