Re: Newbies Nest
jvo - I’m so sorry about your son. As a mom and someone who also suffers from severe anxiety and social anxiety, it’s one of my top fears to pass it along to my children. I hate suffering through it and don’t ever want them to feel that.
Can I offer a silver lining, though? Your son has YOU. You know exactly what he is going through and that will be tremendously helpful. You can be there for him, you know the ups and downs, you know the struggle and you can relate. Having someone close to him that knows the ins and outs of anxiety will be invaluable to him. Trust me. I grew up with two parents who liked to rug sweep and needed to pretend to the outside world that everything was A-OK and we were the perfect upper middle class American family. I learned very quickly to shut my feelings down (no doubt where I learned terrible coping habits) because expressing them or trying to explain my anxiety made things worse.
No parent wants to see their child suffer, but at least he has a fantastic support system. You are such a good mom!
Kensho - that reminds me of the filter you can buy that takes the tannins (I think?) out of red wine. It’s expensive so I never bought it, but I had co-workers really urging me to. They’d say things like: “Maybe you won’t wake up feeling so bad if you had it!” Riiiiight, that might be the case if I had a headache after 1 glass…but I KNOW the reason I wake up feeling like shit. Because our bodies weren’t meant to guzzle 4-5 glasses of wine in a night!
And you are right about the exercise and eating, but I’m so damn impatient. Just want my body back already! I don’t know how much weight I’ve gained at this point but I do know I’ve caught up from the weight that I lost. And I just despise the way I look. I hate feeling like that, but it is what it is. Part of me has terrible anxiety about what my awful eating habits are doing to the baby, too. I take my prenatal, try to get my fruits in, struggle with the veggies and I love my carbs. I was able to lose about 70-80 pounds after my daughter was born, so I know I can do it again…it’s just getting in the habit. I don’t want to be starting from scratch come May, because as easily as I can get addicted I can get discouraged. But maybe I’ll feel better this time around since I won’t be drinking? We’ll see.
Started on my grout last night. The color is fantastic and will really make a difference in the kitchen. But I bit off more than I could chew in one round! Turns out I need to do a little bit at a time and take more patience in getting the lines right. Very hard for me, but perfectionistic me will win over impatient me with this project.
Having some family over this weekend. Hubby asked if we need to get some beer and wine for my family and I just shrugged and said I didn’t care since I wouldn’t be drinking. But I kind of thought, “Why spend my money for them to drink and then eventually drive home?” They can come and be sober. So it will be an alcohol free weekend for everyone! His family doesn’t drink, my baby brother doesn’t really drink nor do my brothers’ wives (much, anyway) so it would be 3 people drinking. Not necessary and while I know I wouldn’t drink even if it was, I think my family needs to get used to coming to my house and not having alcohol readily available. I will be honest and say that writing that last sentence sent me into a bit of a pity party...but I'll try to keep focused on the positives. Not drinking at my own house means I won't be so consumed by booze to clean up. Which means I'll have the house cleaned up by a decent hour, go to bed at a decent hour, and wake up on Sunday ready to tackle anything!!!
On another pity party note, my daughter moved in the preschool class today at daycare and I just can't believe how fast the time has gone. Let's hope the next few alcohol free years go by a bit slower so I can enjoy these babies while they are young!
jvo - I’m so sorry about your son. As a mom and someone who also suffers from severe anxiety and social anxiety, it’s one of my top fears to pass it along to my children. I hate suffering through it and don’t ever want them to feel that.
Can I offer a silver lining, though? Your son has YOU. You know exactly what he is going through and that will be tremendously helpful. You can be there for him, you know the ups and downs, you know the struggle and you can relate. Having someone close to him that knows the ins and outs of anxiety will be invaluable to him. Trust me. I grew up with two parents who liked to rug sweep and needed to pretend to the outside world that everything was A-OK and we were the perfect upper middle class American family. I learned very quickly to shut my feelings down (no doubt where I learned terrible coping habits) because expressing them or trying to explain my anxiety made things worse.
No parent wants to see their child suffer, but at least he has a fantastic support system. You are such a good mom!
Kensho - that reminds me of the filter you can buy that takes the tannins (I think?) out of red wine. It’s expensive so I never bought it, but I had co-workers really urging me to. They’d say things like: “Maybe you won’t wake up feeling so bad if you had it!” Riiiiight, that might be the case if I had a headache after 1 glass…but I KNOW the reason I wake up feeling like shit. Because our bodies weren’t meant to guzzle 4-5 glasses of wine in a night!
And you are right about the exercise and eating, but I’m so damn impatient. Just want my body back already! I don’t know how much weight I’ve gained at this point but I do know I’ve caught up from the weight that I lost. And I just despise the way I look. I hate feeling like that, but it is what it is. Part of me has terrible anxiety about what my awful eating habits are doing to the baby, too. I take my prenatal, try to get my fruits in, struggle with the veggies and I love my carbs. I was able to lose about 70-80 pounds after my daughter was born, so I know I can do it again…it’s just getting in the habit. I don’t want to be starting from scratch come May, because as easily as I can get addicted I can get discouraged. But maybe I’ll feel better this time around since I won’t be drinking? We’ll see.
Started on my grout last night. The color is fantastic and will really make a difference in the kitchen. But I bit off more than I could chew in one round! Turns out I need to do a little bit at a time and take more patience in getting the lines right. Very hard for me, but perfectionistic me will win over impatient me with this project.
Having some family over this weekend. Hubby asked if we need to get some beer and wine for my family and I just shrugged and said I didn’t care since I wouldn’t be drinking. But I kind of thought, “Why spend my money for them to drink and then eventually drive home?” They can come and be sober. So it will be an alcohol free weekend for everyone! His family doesn’t drink, my baby brother doesn’t really drink nor do my brothers’ wives (much, anyway) so it would be 3 people drinking. Not necessary and while I know I wouldn’t drink even if it was, I think my family needs to get used to coming to my house and not having alcohol readily available. I will be honest and say that writing that last sentence sent me into a bit of a pity party...but I'll try to keep focused on the positives. Not drinking at my own house means I won't be so consumed by booze to clean up. Which means I'll have the house cleaned up by a decent hour, go to bed at a decent hour, and wake up on Sunday ready to tackle anything!!!
On another pity party note, my daughter moved in the preschool class today at daycare and I just can't believe how fast the time has gone. Let's hope the next few alcohol free years go by a bit slower so I can enjoy these babies while they are young!
I don't know much about SAD personally, but I've had several close friends who struggle with that or similar. So glad you are able to be there for your son in so many ways - and all sober! He's in college right? That must be a particularly tough place to deal with SAD. Hugs to you both :hug:
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