Newbies Nest

[Seeker1]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello all - Taking in your posts, thinking about them all, how they relate to my journey, how my journey relates to yours...I haven't had this before, at least not like this. I'm not really a joiner, I've gotten used to taking care of myself and I've made a lot of mistakes. Coming here has not been one of them. I am on day 38 of what I want to be my LAFQ. I've had some sobriety before, the most being just under 3 years. I used my mom's passing as the excuse to drink again for the last 7 years. Knowing I have to/want to quit, this time has been the hardest to get started, but now it is. Whenever I used to come out of a binge before I would always ask myself "is this the final time? This Time??" and end up drinking/binging again as the spiral would go downwards. But I never gave up. And I never will. So many of your posts have helped me to see more clearly how I am, and how I have held myself back. This from Lavande is great...

I now know for sure what kept me returning to AL time & time again - DENIAL
I had gotten so in the habit of bullsh*ting myself that I actually believed all that nonsense. I could quit anytime, I'm not really that bad, this time is different, etc.
I didn't even know I was doing that until after I found MWO & read & listened to the folks who knew better. I had to make myself understand that I was the only one holding me back, no one else was responsible. Once I accepted that concept the rest was fairly straight forward.

Take Care All...

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC. Ugh! I feel your pain. But you know too much to go back to drinking now. Your slip seems like an opportunity to strengthen your plan - not a sentence back into the drinking world. For me now, I can fool myself for a little time, but I ALWAYS arrive back at the same conclusion that I am can either be an unhappy, unhealthy drinker or be a functional, enlightened person. Period. And I know you feel that same way. Keep moving forward my friend. We support you.

Hey Roobs, sometimes I write a post in a Word or similar document, and then just copy and paste it into MWO.

JVO, SAD is absolutely real, and it sucks. I had problems with this my whole childhood and early adult life. I’m sure there are levels of severity and such but I finally found ways to address it and they have stuck with me. Hugs, and keep looking for what helps. Your son is lucky to have you!

Way to go KIWI! 2 days is an AWESOME achievement! One day at a time. Glad you have a plan!

GMAN - I am so inspired with your journey into self. You are digging into what makes you tick and what makes you crave drinking - and what makes you whole. Only good can come from this. I am feeling the need to ask the same questions. A sense of purpose is a direction away from drinking:

“Identity! Who am i? What do i stand for internally and externally? Do i have something to say, something to share with the world?”

Choices, the romanticism of alcohol is thick and a trap I can easily fall into too. I was so baffled yesterday when heard an interview with a couple who would “unwind with a single glass of wine”… yada yada. I never “unwound”. Never. Even in my early 20’s, I drank to get a hefty buzz and escape life. Then I obsessed about it. Yuck!

NS - 5 years!!! Your posts are lovely and inspiring and wise. We are all stronger because of you - thank you for sharing yourself here and huge congratulations on 5 years!

I have another really ugly story. Sharing it is embarasing, but it is real. It reminds me that I am not a normal drinker. In college, I was really lost. Waiting tables, and searching for ???. I was in a relationship but attracted to another person, and was suffering from serious social anxiety as well. I was very uncomfortable one night and wanted to call this new person, so I drank vodka. Alone. And more vodka. And then I called him and drove to his house. I entered, kissed him and promptly ran to the bathroom to throw up. I can hardly type that sentence, the shame. That was nearly 20 years ago. Sorry for the details - but it helps to acknowledge my not so fine moments and not brush them past as “normal”.

So glad I am here and have you all.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS happy 5th birthday lovely lady. You helped get me here today and for that i thank you from the bottom of my heart. yes i did the hard work but you did the pushing of this stubborn mule to start off this journey. your support and love has never waivered to me. Now you do know i never open your links but i read your advice knowing its true. Much love for today xx

[K1wiBro]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning!
Had a really nice night last night. Drove to a hill overlooking the harbour and the city and setup a tripod and got some snaps of the sunset. As I was standing there taking it all in I started thinking about the last couple of weeks - days where I would finish work, go straight to the liquor store, then home and spend the evening sitting on the couch looking at rubbish on the internet while drinking one after another, eat an unhealthy meal then stagger off to bed to pass out. As the sun was setting and the city lights were starting to come on I thought, you know THIS is living - experiencing beautiful moments. I would never have been able to do this when I was drinking and to think I was passing over something like this to sit, alone inside my tiny apartment ignoring the outside world. The drive home through the city was just as nice - windows down seeing other people out and about. I got home at the same time I'm normally passing out in bed, had a shower and went to bed where I slept really well (no awful dreams last night).
I felt very grateful for the fact I was sober and had a nice evening - if I can have nights like that sober - there's no way I'll drink again. Actually thinking about it now, I don't think I craved a drink at all yesterday! Woohoo progress!

Off to work now, I'm thinking about a cycle this evening to get some exercise. Hope everyone has a nice day.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the well-wishes Nesters. Feels nice to make it to this milestone and because I'm a numbers person, I like knowing that the odds of relapse plummet after 5 years :smile:. But, that is a population statistic and all that really matters is what happens to each of us, right? A person still can make a stupid choice after 5 or 50 years, thinking they can handle the proverbial "just one". So, they usually lose.

But - more importantly - no matter if a person has 1 day, 100 days, or 1 year behind them, they can always choose not to drink and be one of the ones who "beats the odds". What happens to the majority, or to someone close to you, or even to your past self doesn't say anything about your odds today or in the future. It is hard to imagine while still in the grip of addiction but we have, and have always had, all the power and control. I'm so grateful to people here for helping me learn how to use mine again by never allowing (a totally inadequate, annoying, and pointless) 'just one'.

Take good care of yourselves. xx, NS

[Pie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well done, NS!!

five-clear.jpg

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening Nest,

I decided to try and change up something I've done for years and years. Not take a nap after work. I decided to try this experiment for a few reasons. First, I wanted to see if I could actually break the idea that I needed to lay down in my bed. I wanted to challenge myself with something I've been so dependent on. I guess if I can change this habit (more like an addiction as I've done it all my life) I can do anything. Anyone that knows me, knows how important my naps are to me. But are they so important or necessary, or am I just used to doing it and have told myself I can't go in with my evening if I don't. Second, I wanted to see if just relaxing on the couch and reading, having a cuppa joe would be all I needed to go on with my evening. Well, so far, I'm good. I actually am eating dinner as soon as I get home, had a cup of coffee and small piece of chocolate, doing my reading, and gonna do my moderate exercise. Today, I didn't wake up after my usual hour nap feeling groggy and bitchy. And I'll be able to go to bed by 9 and get my 8 hours. So, gonna try this for at least a week and reevaluate. I am, however, going to nap on Fridays and Saturdays. I'm not losing that treat. Oh, if I have a shitty day and feel like I need to hide under my blankets, will do it. This isn't like life or death. Drinking, on the other hand, death.

NS, happy five years! Wow, you and your pearls of wisdom have helped so many people get and remain sober. Thank you for your ongoing attention and support on MWO. You are such a valuable and lovely member and I'm so grateful for you.

Loved your service for the older folks [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION]. That's such a great story and shows that caring for others is the most rewarding experience.

Ok, time to get off my butt and do something around here.

Jvo

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya nesters,

Happy 5 years Sugar babe! Yes, you are a babe, but no ordinary one. Thanks for getting me thinking and keeping me thinking, and for sticking around this joint and helping out. Have a bonza week my treasured friend. X

Cruising along nicely here. Hitting 5 months on saturday.......as NS alluded to - 1 day, 5 days, 5 mths, 5 years, 50 years, it's all.........wowza!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for getting me thinking and keeping me thinking, ...

Or not thinking :wink:.
And thank YOU for your constant kindness and generous spirit :hug:.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks to all of you for the good wishes. My wish for you is that by quitting you find or have found the same peace and contentment. xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, what a beautiful speech. Would you be so kind as to tuck that into the Tool Box for us? Tha was golden! Xoxoxoxox, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

NS, the lady of the day wearing a crown of 5 years AF :welldone:
This journey is SO worth the struggle & confusion in the beginning. We keep telling the newbies that it gets better & it certainly does

No rain or snow or any weather violence around Lav-land today. Even the foxes have been missing for a few days so I feel a tiny bit better about letting my chickens out for their afternoon stroll. They get a bit crazy when they've been cooped up too long as evidenced by the one girl currently missing her tail feathers. Yes, they do peck on each other when bored.
Glad there's no pecking going on in this nest (just a gentle shove in the right direction from time to time)

Wishing everyone a safe & gentle night in the nest!
Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations NS!!

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations NS!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS - Congratulations on the FIVE YEARS you have worked hard for and earned. That's 5 years of saying no to al, even though you didn't need to say it out loud every day. That's also 5 years of putting your real priorities (family, health, living authentically) front and center. I send you kudos on this milestone and I thank you for the parts of those 5 years I've had the opportunity to benefit from your guidance, research, input, and kindness.

I'm a numbers person too in some ways - every time I see someone reach a benchmark like this, it inspires me to work toward that same goal myself. Based on the recent milestones here in the nest, it looks like I'd better have my eye on YEARS of AF life!!!

:congrats: :hug: :yay: