Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,
Reading Ava's and Pavati's posts, I feel like we have so much in common...in addition to our freedom from AL.

Ava, glad they figured out what is going on with your pup. I am still going through similar issues with mine. Back to the vet in an hour for more blood work. Her white blood cell count is high and they are trying to figure out if it is still some kind of infection...or could it be (gulp) the big C...which is my biggest worry. However they did do an ultrasound on her last week and nothing major turned up. Will your pup have her gallbladder removed?

Pav...oh the teen thing. I am a stressed nervous wreck over it all...and mine aren't even experimenting with alcohol and weed, as far as I know...yet. But there is just so much at stake. Every time they get in a car with a newly driving friend, my stomach does somersaults. Friends, school, college, poor decision making, is about to drive me over the edge. 15 year old daughter wants to start dating a senior she met on the cruise. trying to figure that one out and set some boundaries and ground rules.

Son and I are heading out of town for a college visit this evening and returning Sunday. I know I won't be drinking. Not only will I be with my son, but my brother is meeting us there and he quit drinking a little after my first quit 5 years ago. I haven't seen him in a while and I do hope ugly Mr AL has not found him again.

Take care all & have a great weekend!

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters...Day 50!

Welcome to MsDinah and Pauly. Pauly, I was sober for a long time and started drinking again for various reasons. From that point on I've had several quits that didn't work, so brush off the self judgement and shame and take some time to look at all the variables involved in your slips. When I started this one, I had a notebook I used every morning with lots of notes and sections to help me through. I picked up a few good reasoning lines to use from the nest as well when my mind would tell me things. Do you want to quit? Or are you feeling forced by outside factors? It's not easy. I had so many triggers, and losses that I felt there was no point. Write down all those reasons and thoughts you have. Maybe make a promise to yourself you will look at your notes and write for a bit before you pick up that drink. When we are in the moment of vulnerability, our brains don't come up with it all so easily, but the notebook or journal will have it there for you to read and maybe help you turn it down.

I'm off for some testing. Had a rough night of sleep again last night, so very tired.

Have a good day everyone. Thanks, G.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick fly through this morning.

LC - glad to see you. Stick around ok?

Dinah - :welcome: Really glad to have you joining our cozy nest.


Hope everyone has (or had) a fabulous Friday. Will have to catch up on everything later, but for now I gotta get up and hit the ground running! Take care everyone

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

You haven't lost all you've learned and gained over the years, [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]. Posting in and engaging with the people in the NN has been just what many of us needed and can be the final bit for you, too. I believe that with your attitude and determination, you will ultimately succeed 100% - you already are AF most of the time.

When I was new and very active in the NN, I vowed that I would never drink without first posting here and waiting for a response. I figured that I might not follow through with a more complicated plan but that seemed simple enough that I could do it even if feeling overwhelmed and desperate. You might find that the simple "time-out" that posting gives you is enough for you to start to feel better and do the right thing for yourself. xx, NS

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, love waking up Un Hung on a Friday. I am off to do a bunch of stuff so I will check in later.

So grateful to be sober.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS,that's exactly my reasoning for wanting to post here,that need for a reach out if I need,my thoughts of drinking were while at work and I thought of posting on one of my other threads but really they're not that busy,mostly everyone posts once in the morning then tats it,,I absolutely NOT saying that I couldn't have reached out and somebody would have responded,somebody may have,just saying that I need a busier spot if I'm gonna finally make this site work for me or else there's no reason being here,I chose that day not to reach out to anyone/anywhere,,foolishly

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS,that's exactly my reasoning for wanting to post here,that need for a reach out if I need,my thoughts of drinking were while at work and I thought of posting on one of my other threads but really they're not that busy,mostly everyone posts once in the morning then tats it,,I absolutely NOT saying that I couldn't have reached out and somebody would have responded,somebody may have,just saying that I need a busier spot if I'm gonna finally make this site work for me or else there's no reason being here,I chose that day not to reach out to anyone/anywhere,,foolishly

Pauly, that is why I have my notebook. It is guaranteed to be there when I need it. I've been through some horrible losses this last year. I've been using different tactics in 2018 to help me cope. I don't have anyone who is there for me emotionally who understands what is going on inside, so I count on my own words and notes when I don't have someone who knows me like I do. We can lie to ourselves, but we know ourselves better than anyone. If you were helping you with all your knowledge, what would say? All of us have those same lies, but each of us, also, has our individual life experiences that we know best. Can you identify what is your largest trigger if there is one for you? Is it stress? My life has been extremely stressful. Is it hopelessness? Is it owning everyone else's issues around you? That was a BIG one for me. I carried everyone's burdens on my shoulders and it was too much for me and so was the pain of those I loved so much. I know we have to want to quit as well. If we don't really want to, relapsing is so easy. If you want to quit, I know 'YOU' have the strength in you to do it. We all do, but I didn't really want to quit. I was carrying too much weight. Maybe you can find ways to lighten your load if that is your big trigger. Our minds can be our best friend in this battle or our worst enemy. Thoughts are everything, imo.

I know I'm early at 50 days, but I had a very long quit at one time. I know it can be done if we want it. If we don't, that other personality takes over with whatever the current excuse is. I've come to terms with my whys now, and I don't hold any shame or guilt toward myself. I know I should have taken better care of the girl inside long ago and not thrown her to the curb in order to carry everyone else's burdens and own them like they were mine. I live with the consequences that have occurred and may still come from the choices I made. It's up to you, girl. Just like it's up to me. I'm at day 50. I'll keep it up or I won't and it will be me who makes that decision. Do I want it or not? I think some of us for whatever reason have to really hit a wall to stop and others are able to stop before they do. Hugs to you.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone. I'm grumpy today. But hanging in there. No desire to drink, just a desire to slap someone, LOL! Trying to figure out all the kids summer stuff so they are not home all the time and driving me nuts - keeping me from doing work. It's such a hard balance in the summers for me because everyone assumes I can just take them everywhere since I work from home - but I actually have to get things done for clients. So it becomes a really stressful thing for me if I'm in a deadline phase.

I guess I should appreciate their youth though... you all have me shaking for the approaching teen years!

Hi Pauly. Glad you are here. Stick around and fill us in with your plans!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still dealing with winter-like temperatures here but I found the first dandelion blooming in the yard, ha ha!

Pauly, you have already answered the #1 question in my mind: why?? Your job has derailed you over & over. Please leave that place, I know you can find a more civilized environment for work. Please stick around the nest, it never hurts & almost always helps :hug:

I found out today that my nephew’s son & his partner welcomed a new baby today. It took me a few minutes to realize that this makes me a Great Great Aunt.......OMG!!! I am already at work putting together a baby gift to mail to them

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats Auntie Lav!!!

Pauly - glad to see you back in the nest! Pull up a twig and make yourself comfy

Belle and Ava - I hope all turns out ok with both of your pups. It's always so hard to know something is wrong but not yet know what. My previous pup was diagnosed with cancer just about 6 months after my mom died of cancer, and when I heard the diagnosis it almost broke me. Hopefully nothing so serious for either of your furkids. Please keep us posted.

Kensho - I hear you about the misconception that working from home means you're free to do all sorts of things. I get the same pressure sometimes - it's hard! Sounds like a good idea to plan ahead for the summer and find some fun things that get your kids out of the house. Hang in there!

Dinah - I'm not sure on the exact liver enzyme time frame, but I know some enzyme levels can remain high for several weeks after drinking. It probably depends somewhat on how long and how much you had been drinking prior to the start of your quit. Great job on staying AF at the bar get-together. Yep, people who are drinking quickly only care about what *they* are drinking!

Crusader - glad to hear your pup is starting to settle in. It's fun when they react so positively to the slightest suggestion of a walk, isn't it? My previous pup (also a jack russell) always wanted to carry one of her squeakie balls in her mouth whenever we walked. When she saw me even move toward her leash, she would jump up and madly dash back and forth between any balls on the floor, giving them "test squeaks" as if trying to decide which one to take. It was so cute! I haven't thought about that recently - thanks for nudging that memory to the surface

Pav and others with teens or near-teens - I don't have kids, but I send you great empathy around parenting teens. I imagine it must be very challenging. I'm experiencing the other end of the deal with learning how to parent my elderly father. My stomach does flips every time he drives anywhere, and I dread when the day comes that we have to talk about him not driving anymore. Stay strong in your resolve, and also know that you've raised your kids well. That can't be easy though.

Byrdie - a new job sounds like just the ticket you need! Are you seriously considering a change? If so, what possibilities interest you the most?

G dude - sounds like you're cruising along there buddy! Love hearing about the plans for the trip unfolding. And what's this about a new CD??? Congrats on that! Hope everything gets straightened out soon.

Ok, time for me to sign off for tonight and do a little reading to unwind before bedtime. Here's to great weekends for all nesters! No tix to b-ville!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yo S'up.

Good to see you here Pauly. I decided to hang round this joint for similar reasons to yours. It's a great mix of people and sober time. A few 4 years plus, a few with a year or more, and a few on days 1 and 2, rogues like me, LC, Kensho and other scallywags who get a few months up, go back, then reappear here trying for life again. So a mix of long termers and those in the trenches fighting there way out with a few days AF. Good job good buddy!

Wowza Crusader! 50 days. Now that's what i'm talkin about! Congratulations.

Congrat's to any other stoners i've missed. That's milestoners!

Busy work weekend for me, plus a sniffle and a slight temp. Do you want to hear about my hemarroids? Just joking! Have a great weekend all. No ticket to boozeville here. I cancelled my subscription 7 months ago!

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just who is this G and Pav that no one speaks of?:newhere::heartbeat:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya Nesters!
Hope everyone is heading into a nice Saturday (or have had a nice one!).. It's gorgeous here, warm and sunny and EVERYONE who isn't away is out on the streets, in the parks, sitting in the cafés.. there's a great energy in the air. So much drinking going on though. At the market almost every adult (seemed like it at least) was drinking wine, spritzers, beer.. parents in the sandbox with bottles.. I found myself "craving" an icy cold beer but realised quickly it was just the icy cold I wanted! I was thirsty.. I remembered that I'm working on always stating things in the positive, so when I was asked if I wanted a drink, I said, Yes please, I'll have a sparkling apple juice. It's important for me to keep this in mind because it's a slight change that helps me. I still have problems with negativity towards myself, putting myself down and when I state things in the positive, regardless of what the situation is, it helps.
I found The Alcohol Experiment by This Naked Mind and it looks interesting.. it's a 30 day thing with daily email information/videos/journaling.. it looks like it could be helpful/informative for people just starting out/coming back after relapsing/looking for an extra source of support. Has anyone done this?Landing Page | Alcohol Experiment

Crusader, Congratulations on 50 days! I'm very happy to see you making such progress in your pursuit for a better life..:love:
G-Man, Congrats on 7 months! You are so rockin' it...
Pauly, It's so good to have you in the Nest..

I'm glad you all convinced me to come here and read each day even if I didn't have a lot of time to post. You've all become important to me and as NS so nicely said, this community works best if there are people from all stages of finding their ways out checking in and posting regularly.. Strength in numbers. I feel it here.

Big hugs to you all! xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sattidy, all!
Wags, I want to try and stick it out at this job if I can, if I can get another year in then maybe I can retire. I signed a very solid non-compete agreement with this company so it would be hard to find another job in this industry without violating that. Hoping to hang in a while longer if yall can stand me! My poor hubs. I wish I could just let stuff go, but like Crusader, I take on everyone’s problems and try to fix them. The good news? Im not drinking AT the job. I HAVE learned better ways to cope and that is a blessing.
Dinah, welcome aboard!!! Congrats on 3 weeks! We are VERY happy to hear of your success, keep up the great work and letvus know how you are doing today,
The kitchen/bath remodel is going well, I love the new countertops. The backaplash goes in next week and the cabinet man comes Monday to measure. So far, so good!
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Thanks for your sympathy re: teens. They're lovely people, I just wish they'd do as I say! Turns out they're actually their own people...

Hiya, Pauly. I admire your resilience and determination. As you calculated, you have spent far more sober days than drinking days over the last couple of years - each time you are learning something new. You can make this your LAFQ (last and final quit) - I know you can. Remember to talk to yourself as you would a loved one - love yourself as much. I was reading the science of affirmation - it turns out that saying one thing positive to yourself each morning - whether or not you believe it deep down - can help shape your attitude for the day and longer. Maybe a ritual of looking yourself in the mirror and telling yourself that you love you (like Stuart Smalley, for those of you old enough to remember him from SNL days). I know you scallywags can make it...

Ok, just went down the Stuart Smalley worm hole, and now I can't remember what I read. Spring weather, Great Aunts, sick fur babies and busy lives. Through it all, we know that we can enjoy and be fulfilled so much more without alcohol. I had a co-worker tell me she wished I drank so we could go unwind and kvetch with each other - I told her I'm happy to do that but wouldn't be drinking. Funny how drinkers sometimes need company.

Off to enjoy a Saturday with weather harkening back to winter.

Happy SOBER Weekend.
Pav