Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

There should be some sort of reality show on TV about Hags in the workplace. Just gather them all up in one convention hall and let them go at it. Passive Aggressives on the left, Angry Demons on the right. The host will give them a task and we'll see who can pawn it off on someone else the fastest! G, you are so lucky not to have one in your immediate workspace. These people are confounding and frustrating!

I think we can all look back and say how much sober time we would have IF ONLY. I know I can. (makes me sick to think of it) Today is what we have. There will always be people with more sober time and those with less. I remember thinking when I only had Day 1 behind me....how lucky I was to have that. There are so many who can NEVER find their Day 1. Getting out of deprivation mode is one skill that helped me the most. I have so much for which to be grateful. I'm trying to AC-Centuate the Positive....eeeeeliminate the negative, as the song goes.
Stay strong, everyone! So far, I have found it to be totally worth it! I don't have one day of regret in regards to my quit! Have a great Thursday! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

That's exactly right, B. Grateful to be here now, no matter how long it took me to realize I needed to be here. I actually announced to my co-workers during a goal-setting exercise that I had quit drinking 5 years ago. I was trying to make the point that simple will power is not enough - that's white knuckling, and sooner or later that will is going to get tired and have to sleep. In order to meet a goal, I had to find out the underlying behavior. We went through a whole process that was very interesting and I'll share here when I have time.

SLO, that sounds like a miserable trip to Ireland on a lot of levels. I think sometimes our drinking buddies are threatened by our quitting, and for me, fear of disappointing my drinking buddies was a deterrent to quitting. Glad you don't drink now.

Nar, any word on the job?

Lav, glad you don't have any frozen chickens... We've had some stormy weather here and some downed trees.

No hags at my place of work - the one left last year. What a relief, and it makes coming to work so much more pleasant.

Off to work - It is already Thursday - this week is going quickly.

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,Byrdie the only thing bad about giving the HAGS their own reality show is they'd probably get rich and famous and we'd all still be stuck at the same old job haha Slothat first quit back in 2014 sounds like hell! Your hubs seemed to make it so hard for you,I realize we just hafta block out others around us and do our own thing to be successful at this,my problem is my shitty mood/attitude that pops up after awhile off the grog,had it last night where I just couldn't stop thinking about getting drunk! I don't want that,I don't wanna feel sick and put my life on hold because of some stupid liquid in a glass(can) the feeling of overwhelming wanting makes me feel like I'm crazy or have a screw loose I just get totally brain foggy and out of it,grrrr,thanks for letting me vent,hope we all have a happy AF day!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - that is a TV show I would take a hard PASS on! Sorry to hear that's what you deal with on the daily - one of the many reasons I love self-employment is not having to deal with such people (or very rarely, and then only briefly). Hugs to you.

LC - What you said about your teens learning other ways to cope or deal with feelings, situations etc is sooooo important. I have often felt that my al problem has its roots in my teen years when I would turn to al to escape any feeling that was uncomfortable. It's only now during my quit that I'm developing actual skills around this. Hang in there mama - you're doing great with your girls!

FREEBee - I love that! What a great feeling, right?


Things are pretty good in WagLand. I have a very full day of teaching today and will for the next 2 weeks but then I'll have a week or so off and a fairly light schedule for most of Feb. I was thinking this morning that late this month will be my 2.5 year milestone, and out of curiosity I ran one of those "how many days since ___" calculators. Drumroll please...

Today is Day 901 for me!!!

I can almost smell the quadruple digits from here Many thanks to all of you for being such an important part of this journey, both looking back and looking forward. Big hugs to you all, and have fantastic days and eves. :heartbeat:

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I actually announced to my co-workers during a goal-setting exercise that I had quit drinking 5 years ago. I was trying to make the point that simple will power is not enough - that's white knuckling, and sooner or later that will is going to get tired and have to sleep. In order to meet a goal, I had to find out the underlying behavior. We went through a whole process that was very interesting and I'll share here when I have time.

Pav, i for one am very interested in reading this if you get a chance to post sometime. No rush/no stress. Have a rippa of a day!

Great post Byrdy. I sure hope the hag situation self implodes, or maybe a hag meets hag scenario there where the laws of physics means they actually cancel each other out. i.e. neutralise! Hope the rest of your week is easy. Gratitude thinking is a real saviour and very powerful. A gratitude list every day can be a gamechanger.

It's 1.50 a.m. here. I just got up to change the battery in a beeping smoke detector. Thought it was a stray cricket for a second. I was about to fire up the BBQ. Later all.

x post Wags. Happy day 901 pardner! Wowza! :thumbsup:

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! Yes, BYRDIE, if only we could banish the supremely negative people to their own island... the world would be better for it! Your hags must HATE their jobs (and their lives).

Nar, I hear crickets are the big up-and-coming protein source since so plentiful and they don't wreck the environment like mass-produced animal protein. You could pay me to eat crickets. But you couldn't pay me to drink alcohol now! No ma'am - I choose happiness!

On the topic of family members who drink - I think it so different for each of us to navigate. I don't see my husband giving up alcohol ever. I leave him alone and let him go to his bars with others. We have some red lines. I don't badger him about moderate drinking (though I definitely let him know if he's being stupid and over-drinking), and he doesn't pressure me to drink. I sometimes have a hard time leaving him alone, and he sometimes wants me to "join the party", but we have found the middle where it works and we strive for that. What bothers me the most is when people gather and all get drinks and then cheer without me - as I am pouring a sparkling water. I don't have to be left out of the cheer just because my glass does not have alcohol in it. I may say something the next time that happens. I know they don't mean harm - just feel they are not sure how to deal with it.

I'm gung ho right now about building my new business model. Taking online mini-courses, generating marketing packets, etc. It's really exciting. And I'm finding that I LOVE spending more time to talk with my kids and be positive and supportive to them. When I was drinking, they were always in my way of that - I resented it (so sad). Now, I TREASURE the time I can be there for them and listen and encourage. We are working on routines at home ATM - something I should have done 5 years ago. Better late than never. I'll never get that time back, but I can be better now - today, as Byrdie says.

Take care everyone! Start living the life you deserve! It's SO much better than the merry-go-round of drinking!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Pav, I would also be interested in hearing more about that conversation when you have time..

Pauly, How are you doing? I hate those off days, too! I wonder if you can figure out what it is that you really WANT? or what you want to escape from? What else can you do to make yourself feel better? Or to at least get your mind on another track? I just went for a bike ride to the bank in the freezing cold and it made me feel a bit better.. could you run around the house or do 20 jumping jacks? We DO know that drinking will only make us feel like shit and will put us back into the vicious cycle we've worked so hard to get out of.:hug: Stay put here! Vent, vent, vent!!

Kensho, that sounds like great fun, taking on-line courses and building up your business! Good for you!
Wags, Congrats on 901 days!

Big hello and hugs to G-man, Byrdie, NS, Ava (what a sweet picture!), Slo, Lav, Nar, and everyone else flying by or stopping in this lovely Nest today!xx

[Feebee]

Re: Newbies Nest

Guitarista made me laugh out loud. BBQ crickets.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi FReebee!!!

[Feebee]

Re: Newbies Nest

This time of year, a couple of weeks after the holidays are over, I start up drinking - just a little for fun - and then it turns into more and more frequent and BAM another year bites the dust.

But I am FRee. This year is different.
Feebs

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Free, you cant go wrong with a positive attitude and yes it is freeing to be sober.

God i should have stopped drinking 15 years ago and sorted the crap out that was going on in my life but i chose to drink through it and drink and drink. I am so grateful i did the drunk search on the net and found here. i do remember reading and thinking that these people were like me and my first post makes me realise now, that i had finally started to reach out for help. i didnt want a lot of help as i had no tools to stop drinking but i was heard and acknowledged and my life slowly began again. it was a dolly step in the right direction that has gotten me sober today. My sobriety is still my 100% priority, it is not at the forefront of my life as it once but i do base some of my decisions on this.

Pauly, i used to hate those urges that came out of nowhere like a tidal wave, it was like wtf where did you come from. great work on not drinking. You sound resigned to just not drinking now no matter what and that is a huge step forward.

well satans sister (my mother) has decided to kick my son out who lives with her as he has a girlfriend now and she is not getting attention, i have tried to sort this crap out and thought i was getting my mother to actually listen but nope. i feel so sorry for him, i know what my mother is like, i have lived that dream for years and there is no getting her out of the path she is on. I am going down there on the weekend to pick up sons dog as she is using him against my son saying she is taking him to the pound, my son spends no time with him, hes being neglected blah blah. problem is son doesnt want to go home as she just yells at him. so to diffuse that situation i will get the dog. not what i want atm as my mads is not well at all again and he is a big dog but ..... I told my mother yesterday to let go of the anger as its toxic. i have to be careful of what i say as she will just stop talking to me too. so now i have an 82 year old mother, 2+ hours away living by herself. I am so glad i am f#cking sober. As i said to my son, he is my priority, i am his mother and if he was doing something wrong he would know about it from me. Hes not, its my mother and now she is playing victim. What a brain drain this saga is.

Wag, 900+ days, what a wonderful feeling to know you have achieved that length of time. i still shake my head after 5 years thinking how did i possibly do that amount of time. Its just life as i know it now.

Sorry for the rant also, im grateful to be here. take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Right on Freebee.

freeG here too for 2019!

Have a bewdy friends.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

That's right FeeBee - being free is what it's all about

Just thought I'd mention a book I am rereading right now since it covers familiar topics for all of us.
It's called "Resilient: How To Grow An Unshakable Core Of Calm, Strength and Happiness" by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
OMG he covers all the really important keys necessary for changing our brains. I have long been interested in neuroplasticity & all that we can do to help ourselves live a better life.
I highly recommend his book, there's something fr everyone in this book.
I have many books loaded on my Kindle, waiting to be read but I tend to go back to the ones that were most helpful

Wags, when you hit that quadruple number you will really feel like a boss!!!!

Byrdie, perhaps the HAG is there to help you learn something about yourself like your true grit, ability to stay calm & confident, haha. OR you can just stick a pin in her eye, LOL

Hello to Pav, Pauly, G, LC, kensho, Ava & everyone.

Wishing a safe & cozy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, I heard Rick Hanson talk about his book and his life on CBC. I will get the book, thanks.

Ava, that really sucks about your mom and son. Geez. They are both lucky to have you. Look at you taking care of everyone, thank goodness your are sober!
When it rains it pours.

No news about the job yet. I am enjoying my time off anyway.
Xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un-hung morning Nesters!

I have to say, every morning I wake up and have done the work the day before to stick to my plan, I feel stronger, more confident, able to do this. As I mentioned a day or two ago, thoughts of alcohol come into my brain every day.. it hasn't become a fight, really, because there is no dissonance. I KNOW the truth and I know what I want.. so it's a bit annoying and exhausting. I keep playing it forward, playing it forward. I've lived out what it means to take a drink so many times, worn it out, tried every single possibility (instead of listening to advice and reason!), I've banged my head into the same wall, fallen down the same hole a thousand times. So now I say to the irrational/addictive part of my brain (which feels like it is shrinking and becoming weaker/ever less convincing), "you know how this will turn out! you're now an expert on the subject! there's no other way for it to go if you decide to drink!". I'm working on changing my thinking about certain things, trying to talk positively to myself.. Slowly, slowly.
ok. morning check in. I'm off to work now.
Wishing everyone a nice Friday..xx