Newbies Nest

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks so much to everyone for your kind support. :heartbeat:

New Sunrise - not giving up!!!!!! No way I'm turning this into a string of drinking nights either, lifechange. It's my first quit for this time around. I've quit before for varying periods of time, usually 1-2 years or so. It's always taken a few starts though, so really this is no different EXCEPT that before I never really considered the option of never drinking again. I always had that door open (and always eventually walked through it). But I this time is different in that I'm not getting anything whatsoever out of actually drinking. I don't enjoy any buzz or euphoria, just get kinda tired and lose a bunch of IQ points until I go to bed (and sleep like crap). These 2 cans of beer I typically get are only equivalent to 3 drinks or so. I'm thinking I've worn something out inside me as 3 drinks causes as much anxiety and cruddiness as 6 or 7 used to. Soooo not worth it.

Available - love the idea of stuffing the AV into a box. I did something similar once with a toxic work situation on the advice of a counsellor - I dug a mental hole and buried the situation. It was years ago and I still remember the location in a particular (real) field that I mentally chose for the burial. One time it ran around evading me and I had to hit it with the shovel and then I felt sorry for it - it took on some strange cartoony persona like something from Who Framed Roger Rabbit... Weird to remember all that.

I really think my quit will last this time, since Byrdlady is watching over me via PetValu! :hug: Oh, and plus all the ICE CREAM I've been advised to eat. :yay:

HappyPuppy

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well, I think my husband has finally accepted what's going on & claims he's willing to behave now, haha! You wouldn't believe how difficult he can be. I should be used to this after nearly 46 years of wedded bliss, LOL

Puppy, you may not know this but we have butt Velcro somewhere in the nest - just in case
Glad you came right back & are back on your plan. We not only have to quit drinking but we also have to change those automatic, learned behaviors. Decide ahead of time what you can do if that situation arises again.

Ava, sorry you are hurting. I hope you can find a way to get some exercise & not further your injury. Feel better soon.

Byrdie, are you watching all of us? Asking for a friend

NewSunrise, hope you can stay cool enough, geez.

LC, we empaths have to protect ourselves. My husband has called me the 'sin eater' where my family is concerned, ugh.

Wags, good to see you. I know family matters can be wearing. Seems like every time one of the elders leave the whole family dynamic is turned upside down.

Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good luck today with YB’s surgery, Lav. Sorry that you have had to put up with his descent back into difficult moods during the waiting period.
Hope the outcome is as good as is expected.
So your DIL has been diagnosed as bipolar: yes, that does explain a lot!!

Happy Puppy, modifying your plan to stay in rather than go out during your vulnerable time should help. Keep yourself full with a good, balanced meal; and have treats like popcorn & such to stave off cravings.

I can relate to being an empath, or at least highly sensitive. That’s what I liked the best about drinking: it shut off my hypersensitivity & resultant overthinking, and enabled me to experience relating to the world more like a neuro-typical person would; without the flood of too much incoming data.

Best wishes are coming your way for your interview tomorrow, Narilly!

Ava, at least your hip injury is a type that can heal with time & rest. I’m relieved that you won’t need hip surgery.

Waves to all!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, I just read through the posts and they are really good.
Ava, sorry you are in pain. That is the worst when you can't walk. Sorry babes.
FPup, please watch out with the negative self talk. You are amazing and don't forget it. It is so easy to fall into negative self talk, booze will do that to us. You are doing great, one day at a time, right! I know your quit will last this time and, yes, Ice Cream helps!
NSun, a good book by the pool sounds great. Can I join? It is finally starting to warm up here. We are going into the 20C's on the weekend and that is just heaven.

Lav, good luck with hubby's surgery today.
Hello Pay, GMan, NS, xx
thanks for the job wishes, my interview has been cancelled, aaaaargh! Hopefully something comes up next week. I hope so!

I have to admit I was bummed out the past few days which is not normal for me. I went through a few days of feeling sorry for myself but now I am back to normal. I did not even think of drinking when I was bummed out. That is pretty interesting because that used to be the first thing I would think of doing if I was feeling any type of discomfort. F'U AL!

Have a good one everybody.xo

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends near and not so far,

Glad you're feeling better Narilly. Good luck with the job interview.

Yo Wags. Sorry for the loss of your uncle. How's the missus?

Sunrise, hope you're feeling as cool as your posts.

Lav, i awoke this morning to an intermittent 'whirring' sound. After some time, i noticed 2, i say two camera lens' protruding from my ceiling. Upon further inspection i noticed the wiring loom was manufactured in North Carolina. Hmmm.......All the best to hubs and you with the surgery.

How are you LC? You are correct in that for me, stopping boozing and importantly - staying stopped - is having a hugely positive and delightful impact on my daily life. Why/how? I can only put it down to abstinence is allowing my true self to come forward and shine. It wouldn't matter what i do or who i am. Carpenter? = better quality and happier work flow. Gardener? = better quality/happier work flow. Homebody/general potterer? = better quality/happier pottering. Truck driver? = same scenario. Teacher? Chef? Bingo caller? = same. etc....etc....Raaawkin.

Hope the hip will be ok Ava. Wishing u a peaceful weekend.

Good to see you back on the AF horse Pupstar. It is so worth it, and so are you friend.

Yo Slo! W'dup. How are you doing you AF raaawk star? I often wonder if us alkies/addicts/problem boozers are more sensitive souls than most others? Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Pav, i hope you can get some 'you' time this weekend! Somehow i wouldn't be surprised if you're fully booked with social events and homework. take care of yourself mi amiga.

Byrdy, same for you. I hope you can git some relaxation in this weekend.

7 months, 28 days tomorrow (saturday). 240 days is close enough to celebrating 8 months to me. Yeehaw!

Big waves to evabody. L8tr g8trs.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Happy to report we both survived the day today, haha!
I am sincerely grateful that my son drove his grumpy father this morning & dropped him off at the hospital. Honestly, I wouldn't have been too happy driving a growling bear all that distance. By the time I was called to pick him up the bear was properly sedated & basically slept most of the way home, LOL
So, things are going OK, so far

Slo, when I was a kid certain adults in my life would remind me harshly & frequently that I was 'too sensitive'. What does that mean to a little kid anyway??
As I grew & learned I realized it was those people who had a problem, not me. It left quite an impression on me, to say the least
As an old fart now I just know who to stay away from to avoid conflict. Keeping my boundaries intact is very important to my mental peace as well.

Naarilly, sorry about the interview. I think maybe you should move down here, we'll find you a nice job? Do you love chickens? LOL

Wow G - CONGRATS on your 8 months :yay:
It's a great feeling, don't ever let it go, OK?

If Byrdie has installed secret cameras in all of our houses then maybe we should give her a surprise. What do you think?

Have a safe night in the nest everyone.

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All!

Lav, I am your husband did well yesterday!

Guitarista, I am trying, I swear I am! I want to get to the point you are at!

Yesterday was 6 weeks for me, but boy it was a squeaker! I just was not a nice person at all yesterday. I tried, I really did, but the demon came out of when I hit mid morning and hubby wanted to know about the estimates I got for the HVAC. No, REALLY!!! I have no idea what I am doing and I am not the engineer in the family. I can be sold on about anything and if someone told me to get a block of ice and put it in the unit and run the fan, I might just be sold on it if they were good enough! Hubby is on the west coast this week and so 3 hours behind us and busy, busy, busy. I can not do anything unless I know what to look for by the time he is back at his hotel, I am about ready for bed. I just don't know.

Yesterday was Thursday and the week had just gotten past me, I was thinking it was Wednesday and just got my garbage out in time. It would have been okay if it didn't make it because there were no wine bottles in it and not full. It is a good feeling to say no wine bottles.

I have to concentrate on the positive today. I got up extra early this morning to open the windows and let air circulate through this side of the house and so far, so good. I do hope the lizards are still sleeping because those buggers somehow get between the screen and window all the time. I am just going to bank on them being to lazy to be up and around in the dark. The house has cooled to a reasonable temp right now and I hope this helps. I didn't think to open the windows up yesterday in the morning till it was too late and with only an hour of fresh air this side of the house. It got up to 87, and the other side of the house way too cool where the air doesn't circulate well.

It has been a heck of a week between this major break down and ridiculous son. I did talk with a friend yesterday that told me to look up how men are attracted to women with borderline personality disorders. I did, it fit him, but I sure don't want to label her with something that am not sure is true. I really don't know her that well. I am not a professional and can't diagnosis anyone with anything. The only thing I can really say is that she is one spoiled woman, he has a big problem there, and I want to stay as far as possible from it.

Okay, that was not too positive, so how about this....clean the sand off my floors, clean up the back porch and read the day away. What ever hubby came up with last night for me to work on will wait till Monday. I need to center myself before moving onward.

I will hit quick reply now, though my posts are never quick, and wish everyone a wonderful AF day.

PS...Hubby suggested that today I sit by the pool, make some margaritas, and read,,,,NO, REALLY?

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

:haha::haha::haha: Yes, I do have a whole network of spycams all over the world! I wish! In fact, I'm trying to rig one up now for a potential new customer who doesn't have internet in a vacant building but wants to monitor the comings and goings of the front door. Sounds easy enough IF YOU HAVE WI-FI. My job seems to be making lemonade out of hay.
I know all about personality disorders, I work with them! I'm convinced they are all bi-polar but haven't seen the good swing of that yet, only the Mr Hyde part. Oy.

I am 21 proposals behind. I could work all weekend trying to catch up so I can work all next weekend in Chicago at that trade show. I've ask the guy who shares an account to help me on 4 of the quotes. He called this morning and asked what my questions were. I said I don't need help with the technical stuff I need you to do them! He was surprised. Usually, I get the requests, draw up the device layouts and design the system, write up the equipment lists, put together the quotes and submit them. If I get the order, this guy is so disorganized, I just submit them, then I split the commission with this guy. Mind you, when there is a problem, I'm glad he's there, but doing all the work and splitting the commission stinks.
Lav, I hope your hubs' procedure went well. Sending good healing vibes up to you and him.
NewSun, household stuff isn't my thing either. I just know I'm getting taken and not asking the right questions. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all that. Hopefully, it gets sorted soon.
It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Hugs to all! Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday everyone.
Wow, spy cams from North Carolina hey G? Hmmm Byrdie..
G, congratulations on the 8 months!! Yippee!way to go, you sound great!

That was funny about your hubs Lav, driving a big bear to the hospital

NSun, the pool minus the margaritas sounds really nice.

Have a great Friday everyone. Xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The day after went well ~ no major malfunctions, yay!
It’s damp out & apparently will be that way for the next week, yuck. I see terrible storms & floods out in TX so I shouldn’t really complain.

I read a good article on the Daily OM today, makes perfect sense to folks like us.
DailyOM - Enduring Discomfort

Byrdie, try to have yourself a good weekend, OK?

Hi there Narilly, New Sunrise & everyone.

Let’s all have a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

thanks for the congrat's my friends.

Sunrise, congrat's on 6 weeks + booze free living! Wowza! For me, having a purpose and direction doing things i love combined with living booze free with a sense of gratitude for all around me has contributed huuuuugely to my joyous sounding spirit. That seems to be my formula.

Hi Nar. Has spring sprung there yet?

Thanks for that link Lav. Madison has good insight here.

Hope you get some 'you' time this weekend Byrdy.

It's just the weekend, not a ticket to no freakin boozeville, you savvy? Take care y'all.

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille!

Indeed not. But it *was* a bit tense there...

I had a HUGE dinner (on advice) and I will have dessert (I believe that was also advised quite expressly) and really have no desire to drink anymore at all. Yahoo!!!!

Thanks to all, as usual. Have a lovely SOBER Friday night!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

That’s the way to do it, [MENTION=24370]FeralPuppy[/MENTION]! And if you’re ever tempted to run get some big beer cans, remember: Byrdie has spycams all over the place, and she’s watching you!!

Byrdie, that’s crazy how buried in work you are. I like how you are empowered (or desperate?) now to get the person sharing half the commission with you to do half the work!! That’s how it should be.

Sunrise, sorry that you have some big stressors coming at you. Thanks for sharing with us! I love your stories, and I love having a place here for you to vent and process. I hope you did get to relax outdoors by the pool, absorbed in a good book.

Lav, YB must feel very relieved that his surgery is behind him now. Glad your patient is behaving!

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], hope your dad is faring well after the death of his brother, and you too with navigating the fraught family situation.

Greetings to G-man, Ava, LC, Narilly, Pav, NS, Pauly, Kensho, and all who stop by.

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Really Early Morning to All!

Bryd- your cameras??? If you look in on me, please don't show me in my bathing suit! From all my inactivity due to my neck and drinking, I am not the person I used to be to look at. In my house, instead of putting on my big girl panties, it is my big girl bathing suit! The weight will come off sometime, probably when my old bathing suits go out of style!

Ferel- good for you for eating a good dinner and desert! I found when I was drinking that good meals were something I just skipped, too much work and not feeling like making it. Just pour another glass of wine, geeze.

I am using my grill more in the last couple of days. Thankfully, hubby has stepped up to the plate and called around for estimates, so I had several men out here yesterday. No one gave me numbers because I just told them to email hubby. Hubby was trying to explain to me to find out about this feature or that and he might as well have been talking to me in another language. I am not the engineer in the family. I know it is hard when he is away and I normally don't mind stepping up to the plate but I just can't on this one. Putting it in his lap made it a much less stressful day.

Our days are pretty toasty right now and so I am up early to open the windows and set up fans to draw the cool air into the house. Once the sun comes up, I am back to bed. The other air unit is straining right now to keep up in the afternoons. Hubby is due home early evening and he is not a person who likes the heat. I am betting a call will be made to his boss for some time off to get this taken care of. I know that some of his men call in for far less.

Less stress makes me a more comfortable person and so yesterday was not bad, pool, book, lemon water. I will repeat today.

I wish everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm on day one here. admitted to husband I was drinking last night. it was obvious, couldn't lie my way out of it. he does not remember the almost 5 years that I did not drink. he says this is the third strike. I am gutted about problems with my son. that is no excuse. I really cannot go on like this. he wants me to leave but I have nowhere to go and what would my daughter do without me. maybe she would be better off as I have always been the reason my kids have any you name it problem according to my husband. I do everything around here. I am just gutted. I do drink as escape. I want to say I will never do it again...but now I'm not sure if I can say that. please help me.