Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Mother's day to all the mom's in the nest Welcome back Westie! It would be hard to live in that environment,I live in Vegas a huge partying town which is why I avoid casinos and such but if I lived in a beach party community it'd be extra hard! Hope your new surroundings will make it easier for you,Belle,when I drank EVERYTHING felt hard,simple little things felt like a crises,not making light of what you're dealing with but I just know for me shit seemed blown out of proportion which when sober I just deal with and get it done,put yourself first and stop the booze,the rest will work it out,my husband also gave me crusty looks when I'd drink yet slip out to the garage to drink his beer and we used to argue about it alot,now he's taken my lead and hasn't drank in over a month! Slo,I'm sorry to hear about your sister you're right she has to want it or it won't work,I almost wish the doctors hadn't told her that her liver was in good shape,I know in my old drinking head I'd be like"see,I'm healthy obviously my drinking ain't hurting me" the lies we told ourselves went to Olive garden last night for a mother's day dinner,think I'm still digesting my tour of Italy haha,much love and waves to all,have a super,sober Sunday!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks again everybody. your replies brought tears to my eyes. Ava I will be reading yours over and over. I spent an hour or so yesterday reading through the toolbox. lots of great stuff in there. will go back and read some more as soon as I can. Running out in a few minutes to get pedicure with my daughter. she needs me sober.

Slo...I'm so sorry about your sister. that must be gut wrenching to watch.

I will read through everyone's replies again. they make me feel worthwhile and worth the fight to stay away from AL. I named the AL part of my brain "Chip"...so I can call him out by name when he suggests poor decisions.

WestiesRock...I love Westies. wish I could have one as my next fur baby. Perhaps we can be quit buddies. I did quit for almost 5 years (hmmm and it was like hubby never noticed that). As others have said, each quit gets harder. perhaps we can hold each other's hand along the way.

Love to all, and Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. whether your a mom to human, fur baby or whatever. caring for others is what counts........but as I am learning...to put myself and my quit FIRST. today and every day.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Belle, you sound better today. One day at a time. Take care of yourself!

Westies! I have a mutt who looks a little like a Westie - so cute. Welcome back, and settle in. You know how good you can feel...

G, my live music lovin' husband has hearing aids at the age of 52. Take care (signed Nest Mom #728).

Ava - a lovely waffle as always. You have a way of putting it so straightforward.

Pauly - you're sounding great yourself. Glad your DH has taken your lead - it must be a lot easier to live in an al free house. I have seen some photos of the area around LV recently - what a beautiful area?! Do you get out there much?

Slo - so sorry about your sister. I hope she finds peace and comfort. It makes your sobriety all the more monumental and all the more important. Take care of yourself as well.

Good to see you pop in, LC.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone. I'm going to have a lazy morning, a hike, and dinner with my mom and sisters.

xo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

For several reasons I wish today and Father’s Day could be rolled into one big Happy Nurturers’ Day. I think that’s what we are really talking about anyway. So a big Thank You to all the nurturers here in the nest :hug: I love how we all try to take care of one another. xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle,
You may remember that my story sounds very much like yours. My hubs finally packed his bags the night of Jan 19, 2011 and left. He came home the next day to get more clothes. I promised him if he wouldn’t leave, I would quit drinking for good. He told me he didn’t think I could do it. Frankly, neither did I. I had to come here and LISTEN and LEARN. I had to make it stick. All of the tools and support I needed were here, only THIS time, I used them. I always thought I could do it my way, but after all the starts and stops, my way just wasn’t working, and wasn’t going to work. I latched on to Lav and didn’t let go. She had what I wanted. She taught me to take it one day at a time, something we both believe so strongly, we put it in our signature lines. We will be beside you every step of the way.
Westis, welcome back. I live in a beach community, too, it certainly is a culture of partying, celebration and vacationing. I had to take a step back and say that some of the best times of my life were had when I was a kid, and there was no AL in sight. It’s all what we focus on. If I focus on ice cream, that’s what I find (rather than AL). AL is out to kill me. We’re glad you’re here and we are here to help.

Hope everyone one had a great Mother’s Day. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters & Happy Mother’s day (including all the fur moms here)

We’ve had just about an inch of rain so far & the temps are in the 40’s. What happened to May? It’s freezing!

Hello & welcome back Westies! Settle in & visit us at least once daily. That’s how I got the job done & something I highly recommend.

I saw something on Facebook that I wanted to share here:
3D3119CB-3FFF-42F7-824D-41033901E18B.jpg

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in the nest!

Welcome, Belle. So sorry to hear of your difficulties. Please hang in there. And Slo - such terrible news about your sister. A real wake up call for everyone... I've been reading a lot about kindling and withdrawal and decreased tolerance in late-stage alcoholism. I'm pretty sure a scenario like hers is possible for me if I should go back to drinking.

And of course, good wishes and thanks to all you other lovely people. I read all your posts, but I'm a better listener than a talker much of the time.

I had a very quick and nice 24 hour visit with my SO including mom's day dinner with him and both my kids earlier this evening. I was wanting to drink SO badly as I was heading home to spend the rest of the evening by myself. I nearly caved in but I immediately came here to read and create some space between the wanting and the doing. Mission accomplished!!!!!!! Thank you so much for being here. I'm going to make a nice cup of tea and have (second) dessert now. I'll take the doggie out in a bit and then read in bed. Safe and sound in my own real-life nest.

Peace and love to all.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've been reading a lot about kindling and withdrawal and decreased tolerance in late-stage alcoholism. I'm pretty sure a scenario like hers is possible for me if I should go back to drinking.

This is interesting, Puppy. So you’re saying that stopping drinking and then going back to it gets to be much more dangerous in late-stage alcoholism.
Good job on how you handled the triggers & cravings today. Tucked up in bed is a safe place to be!

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], you’re right, in a way it is unfortunate that my sister’s liver looked “good”, and her liver lab values weren’t “that bad”. That kind of assurance isn’t what an addicted brain needs to hear.

Westie, welcome back! I feel for you, as it can be socially isolating to not fit in with the culture. That had to be so wearing, and three years was a long time to withstand it. I’m glad that you have gotten away from that environment now.

Lav, that’s a good quote stating a very true truth!! Thanks for that.

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All!

Welcome Westies! I understand about your first quit, my first was 2 years, thought I could control alcohol and then it controlled me, again!

Lav-I love that post you found on fb! Though this quit is harder in some ways, it is easier in others because I have already had the experience. When tempted I remember where temptation had led me before and I don't want to go there again.

Feral Pup-good for you, the tool box is great and has helped me so much. I am sure you feel better this morning for having gotten up sober. Nothing really beats sober for us, does it.

Belle- I am so glad you are on here and my thoughts and with you.

Slo- I am so sorry about your sister. That is tough and my heart and thoughts are with you.

No Sug- I like the idea of Nurtures' Day. I feel bad for dads so much of the time because they work so hard for their families and I don't think they always get the appreciation they deserve. On Mother's Day, the children always want to take mom out to eat, send flowers, or even candy. Dad's get lawn tools. We have been telling hubby to get up on Father's Day and take him to his favorite breakfast spot. Breakfast is his favorite meal of the day. He still gets lawn tool though, we try.

Life Change we live in Central FL. We love it, absolutely and completely! I don't know if I mentioned it before but hubbies home office is here and because of the nature of his work there is not much work in the winter, plants close down. His company manufactures asphalt plants, not the asphalt, and he is head field engineer. During Jan, Feb and part of March they hold a school for their companies so that they don't have to call for the service men as much, saves them some money. When I retired, I started coming down with him and we always gravitated to this area, so beautiful here and so much to do. The time was right for us to move and so we have, this is where we planned to retire. Now sometime soon he will replace his boss and be in the home office and in all sincerity, he will never retire. He does not let grass grow under his feet as it is and I just can't picture him ever stopping, even if he has health issues. He is one of a kind.

Life, I am kind of jealous right now about your cool weather because we are anything but cool right now, holy cow. We are getting a break as it is a cloudy day and not so warm today.

Tomorrow our air conditioner will be installed, woohoo! We found a really great guy, highly recommended, and very reasonable with all the estimates we got. He is not the lowest but he is not installing junk either. He moved us to the top of his list for installation because we are pretty much roasting here. There is a second unit in this house but it is straining and not keeping this part of the house cool at all. Good news. Only one more early morning of opening windows and running fans. You would think in the country we could just open up the windows and forget about it, but, unfortunately, this is also Breaking Bad country. Too many break ins, too many unfortunate people who scout out vulnerable houses, too many addicts. Alcoholism is bad enough, I just couldn't imagine how hard other drugs must be to quit. It is a shame.

I did have a good sober Mother's Day and probably the longest of any Mother's Day I ever had. I never did get any sleep till bed time as punchy as I was. I still enjoyed every bit of it. Son called, though I am sure girl friend had no idea, but it was a nice conversation. My daughter, well, she treated me like a queen all week. I have surely been blessed with such a fine young lady. I am about at the point that I will never let her move out. She is my company when hubby is gone, she is my friend always. She really rents a third of the house from us. We can accommodate a hubby of her own and a couple of sets of pattering feet? That is my thinking now, she probably will have other ideas. By the way, new gentleman friend is working out well and she said she will let us meet him soon. She is still afraid that hubby will scare him, but hubby is only looking out for her best interests. He now thinks of her as his own. We are very fortunate.

Good Sober Monday to everyone! I get to keep hubby home for one more day for the AC installation.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Yes, unfortunately, I think Puppy is correct that returning to heavy drinking is more dangerous each time a person does it. I hope you're able to get her into a detox fairly soon and easily, and then it'll be up to her to work those steps and accept their medical support to stop again. Hugs to you during this terribly difficult time :hug:

Belle - really glad to see you coming back and posting as you sort through your various challenges. Ava is right - you are so worth whatever it takes to get your life and your quit back on track, and ultimately it will have to be YOU that does the hardest of the work. But drawing from the words of several others here in the nest, you're not in this alone, and you're not starting your quit from scratch - you've got experience and some pretty fine nest-mates to help you through. First things first - what's your plan for today?

Westie - welcome back! I hope your new environment is just what you needed to get your quit back on track.

Lav - hope your patient is feeling better today!

G - protect those ears!


Hellos and waves to Ava, Byrdie, Pav, Nar, LC, Pauly, Puppy, Sunrise, NoSugar, and everyone else passing through the nest today. Hope your weeks all get off to great starts!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Westie, glad to have you here. Yeah, moving to a different place was a good idea, now you can make sober friends and walk that sober path that you want. Life will be good.

Belle, I am so sorry to hear this crap is happening to you. Your hubby is not being very nice to say the least. Blaming everything on you is total bs. Your son makes his own choices and you are not the only person in his life, your hubby has been there all along too. How can he blame you for everything? That is crap.
You are a strong woman and you can do this. Like we always say, take it one day at a time and focus on what you have not what you don't have. Gratitude instead of Deprivation. Listen to The Bubble Hour again, those ladies are so great. I find that helped me a lot. Keep coming back, we are here for you. I loved what Ava said in her post and I totally agree- Ava has a way with words!

NSun, your life sounds wonderful in Florida. It sounds like you have the perfect set up, I hope your daughter does have some little kiddies one day

Slo, sorry about your sister. Yeah, Puppy that kindling information is interesting and we certainly want to avoid that happening to us. (just like Wags said)

Lav, that was a great Facebook post, thanks for that. Starting from experience can pertain to so many things in our life.

Pav, you have a Westie? Did I read that correctly?

Have a great sober Monday everyone!
xo

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

This is from a National Institute of Health publication:

"repeated episodes of ethanol withdrawal are thought to promote changes in neuronal excitation, leading to cumulative neuronal damage clinically manifested by an increasing severity of the withdrawal syndrome in subsequent episodes; this includes a higher risk for seizures"

The link to the full article is here: Alcohol Withdrawal Kindling

Scary stuff - enough to scare me sober...:goodjob:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

I hope everyone had a lovely mothers day. I noticed that mothers day now is not a big drink fest and that everyone that i shared my day with had a drink or two and that was it. Its lovely to be respected now, back in my guzzling days it was another excuse for a drink fest, usually instigated by me.

Belle you sound so much better, i was really worried about you in your posts. Just remember you are the glue and you are so very worthwhile in every ones life. Did i tell you i lent my dog pram to a co-worker who has a dog that has arthritis and she said he loves it and so does she. Mads lives on bless her.

Slo, im so sorry about your sister. Alcoholism is an awful disease when it takes hold. There is not much you can do sadly and its heartbreaking to watch. Sending you a big hug and look after yourself.

Pauly, how good is it that hubs hasnt drank either. Well done him. Its funny how we used to think that people who didnt drink were "freaks" and now we go warm and fuzzy when someone doesnt drink. How the tables have turned.

LC you are sounding good. I am not pushing myself with the gym but i am going back today. eating chocolate all last week did me no favours and i am over feeling sorry for myself. i am just not a gym person and i enjoy my 20 minutes of arm exercises and getting out of there. now i know i will have to stay longer and focus on strenghtening something else. Wish i could be in bedsocks, these hot flushes are killing me at the moment.

Welcome Westie, settle in. Great to have you back and i know i would not be nearly 2000 days sober if it wasnt for being on here each and every day reading and being accountable.

FeralP, great job on coming on here and gaining more tools to not drink. I remember when i used to drive home from work, my steering wheel so wanted to turn to go to the bottleshops and it took all my will power to say no and get through my front door. i knew once i was inside, i was safe. I also used to call one of my children who would talk me down. I know when i was at the end of my drinking career that it would take me 2 glasses (goblet size) and i would pass out and black out. Im grateful those days are long gone.

Sunrise, my girls are my best friends too, my sons - well they are a force of their own but i know i can rely on them if needed. I had a chuckle with your "breaking bad" country.

Lav, a great quote. Its nice to see something posted not related to drinking.

Well best get back to work. The hospital is filling up due to the change in weather. I am getting testamonials from past registrars and patients for my pay rise and gee i am great at what i do. This is going to swell my head if i am not careful. The appreciation certainly tells me i am doing something right and thats a nice feeling. I would not be doing this if i was a drunk.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all,
What a day.
Good thing I don’t drink
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Rain & darkness here all day again, geez. I decided to take a break from my patient & take a drive to see my elderly friend who lost her husband on Thanksgiving day. She’s just turned 87 & is living alone so I thought she could use some company & a little gift
My patient goes back for another small surgery tomorrow then hopefully that’s it for a while. That’s the nature of melanoma, you have to keep cutting till it’s gone.

Great to see everyone checking in today. Staying close to the nest & getting all AL out of my house helped me to get a great start. I made a vow to buy no more & I have kept that promise to myself. I’m not so sure I have another quit in me so I’m keeping this one

Byrdie., sure hope you are OK :hug:

Have a safe & peaceful night in the nest everyone!

Lav