Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Buzz, how was work? Hope day 2 is going as well as possible under trying physical, emotional and mental conditions.

Friend Kensho. On my 1 year anni, i will have a massage. Maybe i'll go for a traditional Thai session x 2 masseuses. And coffee with the magnificent Ava.

NS. I agree that partners and friends need to shape up and git a grip on reality. If someone we love is making a change that is important to them and is not harmful or unsafe, then why the hell wouldn't we support and encourage them? Sheesh! I have friends still in active addiction who i only see occassionally mostly because of our different lifestyle choice, but they overwhelmingly support and encourage my sobriety, even from the depressive hell they are in. That is a real friend. And they know i am here for them if they want help.

Big waves to evabody. Just do your best friends.

[lukalee]

Re: Newbies Nest

Work was the longest ever. I couldn't focus so I researched meetings and therapists. By the end of the day I had an appointment with a newly grad counselor who also has a background in Yoga, Reiki, and aroma therapy. I actually cried on the phone with her; I can't remember the last time I cried. And I have a date with a Women for Sobriety meeting this Friday and even got one of the lady's numbers. Now, if only this Melatonin would help me sleep. Thanks for all of the inspiration you folks give everyone!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome Buzzkill, glad you decided to join us
Sounds like you are off to a good start.Having some real time support is especially helpful, good decision. You may not believe it now but by the time you are a few months AF you will be feeling amazing. Our bodies do heal when we eliminate the poison. Stay close to the nest too.

Great to see everyone checking in today. I’m running late because we just got home from a community meeting concerning a large tract of land on our road. Apparently there are plans in the works to build walking trails, preserve nature & wildlife, etc. We have questions about them building parking lots, lights, increased traffic, etc on our narrow little country road. We shall see!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yep Buzzkill,I felt like I was slowly killing myself. I was sick all the time and had the worst hangovers. Like Wags says, our body is resilient and if we stop drinking now it can recover. The liver is one organ does regenerate, thank goodness. Stick around, tomorrow is day two!

I am bagged so going to sleep.

Don’t drink tonight or today xo.

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Quick fly in to congratulate Mr G (belatedly) on his 300 days - way to go, Guitarista! And great stuff with the smoke-free existence, Ava. I would love to do coffee with you guys for Mr G's 365th, but will take no offence if you prefer to keep it to yourselves (I respect privacy.)

And very best wishes to everyone else here in this amazing Nest.

love,
Steady
:love:

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hulllo Nesters,

Congrats Mr G on 300 days...that is truly awesome. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all charter a plane and show up at Mr G's and Ava's coffee?

Welcome Buzzkill. We've all been where you are at. Some of us more than once. Keep up the good work, day at a time, so you only have to do this once.

Thanks y'all on the table complements. I need to sand my next project...an old drop leaf table, but have to do it in the garage and it is too darn hot for that right now.

Sorry to hear about the unsupportive spouses out there. Right now, mine has not been drinking. In fact, I have been throwing out any half empty bottles of scotch, bourbon and whatever that have been laying around the laundry room tempting me. Yesterday I found a beautiful bottle of Peruvian 'Pisco Porton' that hubs got a bright idea to buy and has been sitting down there for years. I pitched it. It was almost ceremonial dropping that $50 bottle in the garbage bin. A wave of "I'm Free" washed over me. These damn bottles have been talking to me for years and now I showed them the exit. Good riddance. There is beer in the outside fridge for the occasional guests, but I never took much to beer anyway. It bloated me before I even got a good buzz on.

so onward through the week. Next week is going to be a challenge because son is going on a 'road trip' with a friend...down to Florida where the friend's relatives are letting her use their condo for a week. I will be a nervous wreck. perhaps that is why I have been methodically purging my house of booze. Drinking won't help my anxiety...it will only ramp it up. At 19 he has to go out in the world and learn lessons. I just hope they are safe and stay out of trouble.

Being a mom never get's easier, does it?

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] you asked about chalk painting info/videos. I would start with thepurplepaintedlady.com. and look up purple painted lady on youtube. I must confess that a co-worker got me started on this, and directed me to the resources. In fact when the boss was out of town a couple of months ago, this co-worker put on a chalk painting 'workshop' for us ladies in the office. Boss owns an empty suite down the hall and we set up and all learned to chalk paint for a couple of hours. I'm no artist but I love playing with colors.

Take care all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - the ceremonial dumping of the al sounds wonderful, very cathartic and symbolic in many ways. I started my quit by pouring the remainder of the al I had brought on our camping trip over our campfire to put it out on our last night almost exactly 3 years ago. I believe these physical steps are powerful messages to our brains and bodies. Good for you on anticipating the potential uptick in stress during your son's road trip and getting the al gone in advance.

Lav - the nature preserve sounds like it could be cool, but only if they do it right and if they demonstrate respect for those of you already living on what sounds like a lovely quiet stretch of road. Did you learn anything at the meeting?

G and Ava - so glad you're getting together for a celebratory one-year coffee for G! We shall all raise a coffee/tea/sparkling water/AF bev of choice so that we can be there in spirit with the two of you.

Buzzkill - great job getting that research done and those appts made. You're taking excellent steps that will serve you well. NS is right about the biochem reasons for lack of sleep, and you should find that things even out over the coming days and weeks.


Ok, gotta get ready for an early consult with a potential new student. Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle, I love that your sobriety is worth more than $50!! Or all of the bottles! That's a great feeling. I worry about my kids biking around the block... not sure how I'll handle 19. Deep breaths and faith that they decide to make good decisions. Positive thinking? You're a good mama. As for painting... we have two furniture pieces that need painting for a charity interior design project we are working on. I've enlisted the help of a family friend who knows all the ins and outs of the different products. You make it sound easy, but there is a lot to know to do it right!

Wagmor, you sound good and at peace.

I am in a rough patch with my husband and feeling a little blue about it. I know from past that we weather these things and move on, but it doesn't feel very good. For some reason, our differences are magnified at certain times - how we spend our free time, how we parent, how we approach life. We have always shared many core values in life and tend to want the same big-picture things, and I love his sense of humor, gregariousness and rebel-side, his fearlessness (except when it comes to dealing with his own shit), his attention to finances, his cleanliness. I find myself wishing he was "this or that"... when I need to remember why I chose him and focus on that. We all have parts of ourselves others could wish away.

Anyway, I DO find myself in these times wanting a thread to connect us more - and sometimes consider the option of drinking with him again. He truly believes I had no problem with alcohol, which bothers me greatly. But what I remember is hating feeling controlled by "the next drink". The obsessive thinking trumped all other worries I had about drinking, but I also suffered problems in relationships, particularly with myself.

SO, time for a tune up. I have to connect with me again - why I stopped drinking, what I need in my relationships and try to be positive-thinking. Sometimes in these times, a shift from either of us puts us back on track. Alcohol would only temporarily join us, until it makes things worse.

Thanks for listening. Had to get it off my chest. I'm a talker, and unfortunately my husband is a "defender" - what he learned - so it's nice to say these things without full artillery coming at me.

Another thing in life to deal with sober... alcohol is not an option, so working through it is what I have to do!

Happy to be here and breathing though. I'm grateful for this life!

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Work was the longest ever. I couldn't focus so I researched meetings and therapists. By the end of the day I had an appointment with a newly grad counselor who also has a background in Yoga, Reiki, and aroma therapy. I actually cried on the phone with her; I can't remember the last time I cried. And I have a date with a Women for Sobriety meeting this Friday and even got one of the lady's numbers. Now, if only this Melatonin would help me sleep. Thanks for all of the inspiration you folks give everyone!

Hang in there Buzzkill, stay connected with people, groups and or places like here and focus on today.
In no time you will see that sobriety delivers what alcohol promised- serenity, happiness and freedom.
Stay hard and don't drink no matter what and no matter what don't drink...
Glad your here and thanks for sharing

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

I am IN for the coffee with Ava, G, and now [MENTION=19460]STEADFAST[/MENTION] . I wish Oz was just a wee bit closer...

Welcome, Buzzkill! Sounds like you're taking good steps to stay sober. I was lucky in my post-drinking sleep. Alcohol had me waking up every night and for once I could sleep straight through. I know it will equal out in the not too distant future.

Wags - I am such a USWNT fan - what a game. I'm glad your wife's shoulder is healing up.

NS - that's an interesting take. The guilty pleasures induce weird behavior, for sure. My sister listened to a podcast on envy - the premise is that subconsciously or consciously, people "sabotage" others' successes if they are envious of the achievement. For example, if someone loses weight, someone else might continually offer ice cream or something not maliciously but because deep down they are envious. Weird. I'll try to find the podcast and share it here.

Got a lot going on in Pav-land. Thank goodness I don't drink.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

He truly believes I had no problem with alcohol, which bothers me greatly. But what I remember is hating feeling controlled by "the next drink". The obsessive thinking trumped all other worries I had about drinking, but I also suffered problems in relationships, particularly with myself.

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], you fooled me about how bad your problem was (and maybe yourself as well). I used to wonder why on earth you were on a Stop Drinking website for what sounded like a trivial problem. So, I guess it wouldn't surprise me if initially your husband also didn't think you had a problem but it sounds like you've explained to him how bad and out-of-control it makes you feel. He needs to respect that. My husband also doesn't think I had a serious problem but he can be Captain Denial when it comes to bad stuff (he has blotted out most of his childhood) so I don't consider him a good reporter. I haven't had to beat him over the head with my truth because it doesn't matter to him that I don't drink.

Drinking can't be the thing to link you and your husband if like me, your need and "love" for alcohol becomes stronger than your love for him. It makes me sad how I let my relationship to a substance diminish my relationships with people I love, but it did. That was one reason I was determined to quit before I had grandchildren and I'm eternally grateful that I made it.

Core values are the most important things to have in common and it sounds like you've got that. xx, NS

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION],

Drinking can't be the thing to link you and your husband if like me, your need and "love" for alcohol becomes stronger than your love for him. It makes me sad how I let my relationship to a substance diminish my relationships with people I love, but it did. That was one reason I was determined to quit before I had grandchildren and I'm eternally grateful that I made it.

Core values are the most important things to have in common and it sounds like you've got that. xx, NS

NS- me too! One of my biggest regrets and now ammunition to use to protect my quit- For so many years I was putting Alcohol up on a pedestal and loved ones in the dirt.... great post mam

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Agreed, Matt. We are so lucky here in the nest to have folks from all walks of life, who share their thoughtful perspectives. It wouldn’t take long for AL to overtake my life again if I gave it half a chance. Give it an inch and it wants to be the ruler. No thanks.
Buzz, hope you have an easy evening! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I’ve had my 10 yr old grandson here with me all day - his request
Makes me eternally grateful for my 10+ yr quit so you know I’m keeping it going!

Wags, the meeting last night was basically so the county group wanting to build the preserve could get permission to do so by the township commissioners who were present AND to give us a chance to ask questions. A few of our questioners were answered, most were not. Some of those questions would need to be answered by the engineer who will be involved in actual planning of parking lot, etc. I’m not happy that was our only chance to be heard before construction begins. I guess we will have to make our presence known daily at the actual site to find out what the plans involve. In other words, I can be a pain in the a$$ if I need to be, LOL

Kenso, one thing I finally realized when I quit was that nothing about ‘him’ was going to change. All the gripes I was drinking at will still be there, I was going to have to find another way to deal with them......or not. I am in the major ignoring phase of our 46 yr marriage. No fighting or arguing, just not expecting anything about him to change. It’s just what it is, not my choice but I’m not willing to lose my mind again - been there & done that.

I need to take this child home so I’ll wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Quick fly in to congratulate Mr G (belatedly) on his 300 days - way to go, Guitarista! And great stuff with the smoke-free existence, Ava. I would love to do coffee with you guys for Mr G's 365th, but will take no offence if you prefer to keep it to yourselves (I respect privacy.)
:

Thanks Steady. You're invited of course! Hot diggity dawg, dang it! Everybody's invited!

Thanks again for the congrat's and kind words evabody. Happy humpin day.