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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Today is day one again. I thought i could moderate after nearly 6 months off and it just crept back up... every night. Binges at weekend. Last night was a disaster and im utterly ashamed of my behaviour. Im at rock bottom. Depressed and exhausted. I cant eat. I cant sleep as i have a lively 3 year old. My fiance is furious with me. Its 10am in the UK. Its going to be a long day. I just want to curl up warm and sleep this all away. I cant keep on like this.. today is day 1and im here so at least its a start. I feel so sick and im shaky. Im so sad today
    Last edited by scoobysnackgirl; November 18, 2019, 05:29 AM.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, All:

      Welcome back ScoobySnacksGirl - I don't remember you being here before. Did you have a different name? I can so viscerally feel what you're feeling now - just as I felt almost 6 years ago. Afraid, sad, disappointed, shaky and sick. Taking that leap and throwing in the towel is the best thing you can do for yourself. Sleep when your 3 year old sleeps and when the fiance comes back sit and have a real talk with him about what help you need from him. You GOT this!

      Ava - glad she's feeling better. Maybe they both learned something. If I was home with Carl I wouldn't get anything done either.

      I had a crazy stress dream last night. 1.5 weeks and then we'll have a 5 day weekend - I'm feeling like I really need it!

      Happy SOBER Monday.
      Pav

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        Re: Newbies Nest

        Morning nesters, welcome back Scooby,ugh I dunno how you cope with a hangover and a 3 year old,I've had to watch my little grandson when he was 3 hungover and I thought I was gonna die and cried in relief when his mom picked him up,you don't have that option which is something to think about in the future as a detterant hopefully,I hope you feel better soon was thinking about members and some have gone missing and I really wish they'd post regardless of if they've been drinking or not,I always did and sometimes something someone would say would snap me out of my self made pity party! MWO can't/won't work if you only pop in for a few day after drinking,that's like if you were doing AA and only went to a meeting if you happened to be in the area-it don't make sense,I dunno maybe people get busy,bored, embarrassed or whatever and leave but I'd rather see those faces daily then here and there,my Monday rant hahaha! Waves to the gang and wishes for a wonderful AF day! (Scooby that post wasn't aimed at you btw,I was just thinking about former members before I logged in)
        I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

        I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
        Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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          Re: Newbies Nest

          X-post my posting twin Pav! Haha
          I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

          I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
          Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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            Re: Newbies Nest

            Thanks guys. I did used to be a member a few years ago and my username was trinity123 I dont know if anyone remembers? I had problems trying to log back in on that. Ive been doing really well but slipped right back these last few months. I do intend to stick around I've still a lot to learn so it seems. 3pm now and im still exhausted. Another day wasted. But not tomorrow because i won't drink tonight
            Last edited by scoobysnackgirl; November 18, 2019, 10:00 AM.

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              Re: Newbies Nest

              Hi Scooby. (((hugs))) to you. A couple rough days can be the beginning to a much, much better life! Hang in there and things will get better! They won't get better though if you keep drinking.

              Hi other Nest peeps! Last week came and went so fast I didn't know what hit me! Moving fast I suppose before the Thanksgiving holiday here. We continue to plan our trip, and my husband and I are in a good place right now. We still love each other even though I have become his NOT drinking buddy.

              Not much else to say right now, but Narily's repost of a comment has stuck with me... it is badass to kick drinking. I feel proud of the decision I made for myself - and trying not to judge others for the lives they choose. It's better that way.

              Have a good day everyone!
              Last edited by KENSHO; November 18, 2019, 11:35 AM.
              Kensho

              Done. Moving on to life.

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                Re: Newbies Nest

                Badass indeed friend Kensho!

                We are all badass! Think about it for a sec. Making such a huge change in self care is difficult and often means a huge rewiring and retraining of our internal systems. Sometimes we have forgotten how to live and need to relearn daily living skills including co....com.....k....k....communication. The great news is there is unlimited treasure awaiting on the other side when we push through and reclaim our precious lives.

                Welcome back Scooby. Great decision to take back your precious life and live your truth again. 6 months previous sobriety is a fab achievement. You can do it again, and you are. Why not? Why not you? Go for it mi amiga.

                Big waves to evabody. Off to work. Living sober is totz BADASS!!

                'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  Thanks guitarista. Day one under my belt 😪. Its 10pm now and a much needed bedtime ready for day 2. One day at a time

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                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    Good evening Nesters,

                    Watching my grandsons this evening so I only have a minute.
                    Great to see everyone reporting in tonight

                    Hello & welcome back Scooby! You've made the best possible decision for yourself & I wish you the very best. Stay close to the nest so we know how you are doing!

                    Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

                    Lav
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Welcome back Scooby! Day one under your belt. Keep coming here!
                      It’s so true that we need to come every day (I’m sorry I don’t remember who said it and I can’t scroll back on my phone) but it’s not just for us, it’s for everyone else that may be worried or thinking of us! Thank you for saying that!

                      Finally 2 weeks today! Woo!

                      Have a good night everyone! Xoxo
                      Day 1 again 11/5/19
                      Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
                      Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
                      Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
                      11/27/19: messed up but back on track
                      12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

                      One day at a time.

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                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Welcome back Scooby! We're glad to have you here.

                        Ava - glad to hear your daughter is doing a little better.

                        Pav - sounds like another fun concert for you!

                        G - yes, we are all badasses :welldone:


                        Had a great day mostly off and am pretty tired so I'll catch you all again tomorrow. Happy eves and mornings everyone!
                        Toolbox/Toolkit

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                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Good morning, Nesters!

                          Welcome back, Scooby! It's great to have you here in the nest and I look forward to getting to know you better! I know on day 2 I felt sooooo relieved that I was on my way again, back on the right track. You can do this! Stay close!:love:
                          Nursie, Well done on 2 weeks!!! The 2 weeks since you first posted again have flown by (for me!) and I'm reminded of how time passes regardless of what we're doing/how we're living. Those things I thought I couldn't handle in that moment or on that day are history in the blink of an eye! It was Pauly who said that about missing people who don't check in and on the power of remaining accountable..
                          Wags, glad you had a relaxing day! Well earned, I'd say!
                          Lav, you were on your toes!!

                          Today is my eldest's 18th birthday. It feels strange to have an 18 year old.. more so than on other birthdays, my mind is jumping back to random memories of her as a younger girl. I'm doing my best to stay in the present moment, grateful for where I am NOW, in a mindspace where I can be the mom she still needs me to be. I saw a picture of her yesterday, one that I hadn't seen before that was taken by a friend or her boyfriend, and she looked really happy. She seems to be in a good space at the moment and that's all I can really hope for. I am finding it difficult to "let her go".. finding the balance.

                          Anyway, I hope everyone has a good Tuesday. Let's make it the best day we can. Yesterday I surprised myself by totally freaking out (yelling and cursing and stomping around) while I waited for almost an hour on the phone to my credit card company.. there are charges I didn't make and I got the major run around with no results. Was hung up on twice! Then I tried to send a message online (no apparent email address) and haven't had a response. I haven't been so aggressively stressed out in a long time! It was weird. I went out for a walk to calm down but I felt "off" for the rest of the evening. I guess I just felt so out of control.. not being able to get through. Today I'll send them a letter with the snail post.
                          Today, Tuesday, I'll do my best to react differently to situations that might come up! I'm sure my neighbors think I'm a freak!

                          Hugs to you all!

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                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            LC. I hit the roof over that sort of thing too!! Hope they git it sorted soon.

                            Hola evabody. A cruisey tuesday early evening here after a log day at work. Take care out there.

                            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              Hi everyone hope you're all having a good day. It was lovely waking up without a hangover this morning 😀 i still feel a bit rough but at least its an improvement. Got the kids sorted and went for a swim. Now going to tackle a mountain of housework and walk the dog. Ive taken this week off work to help me get off to a better start. Day 2 now. It'll be the witching hour tonight as I'm not hungover..
                              .usually if i dont drink on a night i make up for it the next night as a "reward" 🙄🙄🙄 yeah right.

                              Have a great day!

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                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Hi, All:

                                Pauly - SO TRUE. I think sometimes that people feel they have to wait to post until they've gotten it all figured out when this can be the place that they get it figured all out. I think about old timers or recent timers, too. Belle! Daisy! So many! Come say hi.

                                Scooby - what's your plan? I spent a lot of time here during those first witching hours, and I read a lot of sober blogs. I liked Mrs. D is going without (go to the start of the story), Unpickled and a few others. Also, lots of baths. You got this!

                                We ARE badass. That was a shift in perspective for me - at first I felt weak, dumb and flawed. I couldn't figure out how I let myself get like this. I always had control of my life! What went wrong? Well, I have come to realize that I, for a number of reasons, was vulnerable to alcohol. Now I do feel in control in a way I never have before (first started drinking at age 14!!!) I am grateful to be heading into this phase of my life with a clear head. Thank goodness.

                                Happy SOBER Tuesday.
                                Pav

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