Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, or whatever good time of day it is in your part of the world! Hope everyone is having, or had, a really nice weekend. Mine has been productive - yesterday my wife and I fit in a long walk with our pup, then a good workout, and then we teamed up to clean out the gutters on our house. Yikes, that ended up being a bigger job than I expected largely because our extension ladder is really heavy and the distance from the ground to our gutters changes at least 8-10 times, so lots of up and down not only just to move the ladder over but then usually to extend or shorten it. With her shoulder still recovering, that meant that job was entirely on me while she handled the ground side of things like moving the yard debris bin (my target for the gutter debris) and picking up the wets leaves when I missed that target . After that I split another week's worth of wood for our wood burning stove. Whew - the workouts have paid off, but I sure didn't need to do one yesterday before all of those chores! Definitely couldn't have done that while drinking.

Today I'm teaching my first small group tutoring class online by special request of a current student plus one of her friends who wants to start working with us. I'm game to give it a go! If it helps me make more during the same amount of time and *if it works as well or better* then it could be a whole new layer to my biz.

Catch you all this eve or tomorrow! Don't drink!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

I don't have a great excuse for being here so little.. I have been reading almost every day as usual. But still so up and down emotionally and physically/energy wise. When I'm down, it seems all I can manage is getting to work, exercise and kids. Then my brain is shot. I'm blaming it on menopause, which I sure hope to be done with sometime in the near future.

I missed some big celebrations.. [MENTION=12714]Marylou[/MENTION], congratulations on 6 years of freedom! You are sounding so well.. I will never forget how much you supported me and am always happy to see when you've stopped by the Nest.:love:

Byrdie! 9 years is an amazing amount of time. I'm very grateful for all of your support to me and the others here in this Nest. In sharing your stories, you really make us all believe that if YOU could do it, so can we. Your humour mixed with hard-ass/love is a great combination. Thank you.. And big congrats with the work deal. I sure hope that pans out for you so you can keep your April 15th date!:love:

NS, once again, here in the Nest, Congratulations on 7 AF years! Thank you so much for having my back! Your words of wisdom and especially everything you've brought here with regards to our thoughts/3P's has been life changing for me and so many others. :love:

Julia, well done on 24 days! You are doing such a great job of working through the struggles of the first few weeks. Coming here to post and talk about your feelings, allowing others, who have been where you are, to offer advice. I loved NS's post about the fact that we don't need substances to bring anything out that isn't already there. I know that I get similar feelings from exercising, meditating, hugging a daughter, having a good visit with a friend, being in nature.. I hope you're illness gives you a break soon. Othello sounds amazing!

Wags, what a wonderful trip you had with your wife and your pup.. snow! Gosh, I'd love to see some of that here! I'll be curious to hear how the small group course goes.. sounds like a great idea!

Hello and big hugs to Ava, Pav, Kensho, Nar, Gman, Pauly, Lav, 3B's! xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Wags, we X posted yesterday, but you basically reported my experience. Ice cream and phone puzzle games are my other addictions. I actually ate so much ice cream that first year that I got sick of it at one point. FOR sure I can go down that addictive/self-soothing worm hole.

LC - glad you stopped by. What is weighing you down? Alcohol thoughts or other things? Or nothing at all? Every day it gets lighter out, so we have that going for us.

I held a boundary last night. My husband and a lot of friends were going to see a local band at a local bar. I thought about yell-talking to a bunch of drinkers and decided to stay home. Sometimes that makes me feel lame and old, but I am glad I did. I got almost 9 hours of sleep and some needed alone time.

More social events today - another reason I stayed home last night. A busy weekend!

Happy Sober Sunday.
Pav

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks a bunch for all the replies and advice after my post about weed.

I wanted to put it on the table, to disarm silly thoughts, and make sure I’m clear and open about this. It feels safe and reliable like this.
To be clear: I’m not out to pass judgement over anyone who is smoking pot (so 3BOW - I think I read you smoke sometimes – or anyone else, I hope you’re not annoyed by my message), I can only speak for myself. And I don’t know if legalizing is a good thing or not, there are so many things in play there.
But for an addictive personality (yep, definitely) like me, having a legal pot shop at 5 mins walking from my house (there are pot shops everywhere in my city) sure made it a lot easier to give in. Just like with AL. I live in pot country, the pot over here is amazingly strong, and it takes only one prerolled joint to knock you off your feet. In the end I smoked 5 in an evening whenever I had the opportunity, I got completely wasted. And drinking with it too of course.
The mix with tobacco made it even more seductive, as since 5 years I stopped smoking (cigarettes).

“Whatever drinking or smoking weed brings out in you that you are longing for, is already in you. It isn’t coming from the drug.”
I also love that [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] and you are right….
There are lots of things I can do to really relieve my tension or get comfortable, and I already practiced them, just not nearly enough and not when it really counted. The options are there, but I have to give them firm foot in my daily life.
It’s so beautiful to really feel touched by things, like that play last night, and not having the experience numbed or clouded by the aftermath (foremath or nowmath) of weed or alcohol in my body. Also, I've cancelled going to plays, meetings, concerts, so many times because i was hungover or preferred to get drunk or high.

The thoughts of using are becoming weaker again, as I’m experiencing I can do it (and even better without that with). Being sick made them stronger for me, especially because I didn’t have the chance to take the rest I needed. I was also feeling more and more isolated again last week. Seeking your support helped, also talking about my feelings with my love and asking for his help (not something that comes natural with me) with some business things that give me a lot of stress.

LifeChange I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so off. I hope I don’t go into menopause anytime soon…

This is day 25 AF and day 26 drug free.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hope everyone had a good Sunday!
My grandson were on the way home before lunch, we all lived thru the visit, haha!! I don’t mind the mess & the noise so much when they’re here. What i can’t stand is that they are at each other’s throat non-stop. I’m not used to this, my two kids basically ignored one another, worked out great, Lol

LC, glad to see you!
I know this is a busy time in your life but it doesn’t last forever. Before you know it the kids have grown & are doing their own thing. Just take care of what YOU need now so that you are in the best possible shape you can be to handle anything that comes your way :hug:

Wags, I will do no ladder work, none!
This Thanksgiving will be 20 years since I fell down the steps & ended up with a pretty serious head injury. I am now completely fearful of heights!! Bless you for clearing those gutters, next time hire a teenager, haha! I hope your class idea works out for you

Julia, doing a great job at 25 days, yay!!
When it comes to addictive personalities - put me on the list too, ugh.

Pav, nice job looking out for you & avoiding the drunken scene. I can’t even imagine going to something like that anymore.

Kensho, your daughter has some good observational skills, Lol. She will never see that again, right?

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters,

Decided to make checking in here my morning priority again. This is when I have the most energy and can make the effort to post at least a couple of words.:happy2:

Pav, there isn't really one thing weighing me down. Mostly things are good.. just some days, it feels like it's all too much. Some days I really feel "old" and that's difficult for me to deal with mentally and physically.. When I feel intense symptoms of menopause, I'm beginning to think about how f****** unfair it is that we women don't get a break. My joints are hurting like they didn't before and I'm finding that my attitude towards my work, which is very physically challenging, is worsening because it wears me out in a way it didn't used to. I am combatting it with nutrition and exercise, which helps soooooo much, but if I don't stay on track with that, I get down on myself quickly. Anyway, I don't think there's anything to do except go through it. I know there's some acceptance needed somewhere in there! Thank you for asking. And very well done on setting/following through on those boundaries! :love:
Lav, hope your grandsons behaved themselves today! Like your kids, my girls never fought, thank goodness. I think it must be easier to handle that as a grandparent, 'cause it's for limited amounts of time. They'll surely grow out of it.. I forget their age difference.?

ok. time to make some breakfast and then off to work. It's a short day and then I'm going for a walk in the countryside with a good friend.
I hope all you all have a nice day. Monday. xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Julia, people here have heard me say this a million times. I LOVE live music and dreaded the thought that without alcohol concerts would be no fun any more. It turns out the are BETTER! Just like you describe, I have clarity and alertness that allows me just to appreciate the music instead of trying to figure out how to get my next beer or standing in line for the bathroom. That clarity gets sharper and sharper as the time goes by. You sound great - keep it up.

LC - Oh sister, I hear you on all of the above. Right now my exercise is slipping and I know that is BAD for me. I am tired a lot, too, and sore, and I get headaches and puffiness. Blech. But as my dad said, getting old beats the alternative... I will try to follow your lead in taking care of myself with good food and exercise.

Lav - my sisters and I fought constantly - it drove my mom crazy. So cool that you can be there with them!

Yesterday I had lunch with 7 friends from a former job - we all used to work and drink together - a lot of both. Now 4 of us are sober. So funny - I like to think I was contagious...

Running off to work. Have great days, take care of yourselves, and don't drink no matter what!
Pav

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wrote a whole post on my laptop but after weeks of having internet trouble, calling help desks, waiting for repair men, without getting any solution, my connection seems to now have died completely. Breathe Jules!
This gives me the opportunity to get creative in my life, and not get diverted by things that randomly fly into my face through a computer screen.

day 26. hope you are well dear people.
And I say woman who have gone through heroic ordeals like long term recovery from alcoholism should be exempted from menopause.
Even better: menopause for the rich!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Monday evening, nothing much happening here & that’s just fine with me.
I went out today to restock the kitchen, made stops at the drug store & mushroom house. We’re lucky to have super fresh mushrooms growing near by. While I was driving I was thinking about all the changes we go thru at different stages of our lives. Women really do go thru massive changes & have to constantly adjust to meet the needs of family & society. It sets us up for a lot of stress & anxiety & absolutely NO ONE cuts a break. Years of this sometimes leads us to make poor choices & we all know what happens.
Every single day I give thanks to my friends here at MWO. I couldn’t have made the necessary adjustments on my own to have the life I have now. So no matter what I have made every effort to stop by each & every day, always in thankful mode & willing to lend a hand to anyone who need one :hug:

LC, if menopause is supposed to be so natural why does it make us feel so horrible? It’s not easy but you will get thru & you can certainly lean on us for support.
My grandsons are 2 years 4 months apart in age - maybe that has something to do with them wanting to tear one another apart, haha!

Pav, bless your Mom

Julia, I totally agree, we should be exempted from this hormone hell but I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon. Great on your 26 days - getting close to 1 month

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I hate this job.
otherwise, all is well. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone, just checking in.
Sorry about the job Byrdie.

Yes, music is way better sober. I agree Pav.

Don’t drink today xo.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters,

I took a day off work today so I'm feeling pretty good! I've got to go to the doc for a prescription, find a gift for a friend, then it's gym and that's it. I've got some busy weeks coming up so the decision for me to take a "mental health" day was supported by my main colleague. We are lucky to have eachother..

Julia, you crack me up! Maybe menopause could be handed out on a sliding scale? For sure, if I had tons of money and didn't have to work in a hot kitchen (though I love my work), the hot flashes would be easier to deal with! If I could hang out at the ranch by the pool/lake, going horseback riding or painting when I felt like it, having all the time in the world to cook my healthy meals, without financial stress? Bring it on!:happy2: Well done on 26 days! Hope your internet trouble is fixed soon..

Lav, you are so lucky to have super fresh mushrooms growing nearby! Do they have all sorts? I bought a huge portobello the other day and just ate part of it in my omelette this morning. mmmm. with some red peppers and spring onions. Thank you for your last post. It's funny how it does make one feel better to know that others understand. I guess we all know that well here at MWO.. :love:

Byrdie, I'm so sorry to hear about your job. Once again.. gosh, I wish you'd catch a break there. A bit of breathing space. Hugs and strength to you.

Pav, how great that 4 out of 7 are sober. I'm quite sure you're sobriety was/is contagious! I'm happy that in my neck of the woods, a lot of people are slowing down with drinking as they get older.. a good friend of mine just did dry January and it's been interesting to have her talk to me openly about her struggles with alcohol. She won't quit any time soon and maybe she won't need to.. but I'm glad she's honestly looking at it and questioning her behaviour.

Hi Nar! How's your weather been there? How are you holding up?

I'm back on track with exercise and especially nutrition. I sure hope I can figure out how to stay consistent. Back a few days you were all talking about transferring addictions and it got me thinking about my history. I'd forgotten that when I was 14, I stopped eating for a few months and became so thin that my parents took me to the hospital.. it was never diagnosed as anorexia because as soon as attention (by my mom, which is what I was looking for) was given to it, I got back on track with eating. I never did that again, but I am someone who has used and tends to use food for comfort.. so while it helps/has helped me with not drinking, after a short amount of time I'm having the same crazies with regards to food. Sugar, in particular. I've found a nutrition plan I like which is tons of veggies, some non processed carbs, protein.. and it makes me feel good. No big swings in blood sugar.
Combined with exercise I feel "normal"..

Big hugs to NS, Ava, Kensho, Gman, Pauly, Wags, 3B's, shout out for Belle, AB.. everyone else flying or stopping by today!
Let's make it a good Tuesday. (easy for me to say, at home on the sofa with 2 purring kitties..)xx

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all, just a quick fly-by, really enjoyed reading your posts over the past few days, it's like a little book just want to say I did have two beers at home on Friday night, I was off, My son was at his mama and I did it, I had 6 in the fridge and had two, had none since and won't again until I am free and alone, and I would never drink in front of my son...seems weird and not sure why I am posting that, I still feel very AF as I am not drinking the fridge dry and certainly moderate.

Yes Jules, I do smoke but I tend to binge whenever I do and the effects ware off and it becomes an expensive meaningless habit, I tried to moderate to that but cannot, so it's easiest to come off it, starting today!

Giving CBT a go, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (Dublin, Ireland) – The Revolution in Psychotherapy – “thinking about thinking…” | Veronica Walsh's CBT Blog Dublin, Ireland - worth a try.

Thanks for this Nosugar:

“Whatever drinking or smoking weed brings out in you that you are longing for, is already in you. It isn’t coming from the drug"

That's really going to help me .

Thanks all.for the great stories, hope the job picks up Bydie. Thanks for the tips.all, especially LC for the diet advice.

Will check in later

Have an awesome AF day

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

I hate this job.
otherwise, all is well. Hugs to all, Byrdie

This cracked me up Byrdie haha I'd say I hope work gets better but yea won't cross my fingers,just hope you can use your positive energy and get through it LC,not sure but I'm pretty sure I'm going through"the change" too,I've been so distracted by trying to research how to get my extremely low iron up, doc's are useless I swear! Also haven't posted here cuz I'm not in the thinking that weed is bad(even though I don't smoke!) I just don't wanna say anything to derail anybody if using it is messing with your life like alcohol did mine and if it's important to someone to quit then I only wanna help, everyone sounds really good,keep up the great work and have a fabulous day all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Byrdie, I am so sorry about that job. Stay strong, friend.

Lav, thanks for that post. I love your gratitude and always work towards being better about that. I can get stuck in a complain loop - I am so grateful for so much in my life. Mindfulness can just be noticing something different - I try to do that on my drive to work. Lavitude always a target...

3BOW - Sorry you drank. By your post it sounds like you intend to continue to do so when you are alone? How has that worked for you in the past? If you're trying not to drink, I would get rid of that beer in the fridge. Of course, I recommend abstinence. If you Googled "drinking too much" to find this site, usually that means the moderation ship has sailed. Take care of yourself...

Pauly, I'm in your camp. Weed is not an addiction problem for me. I waited over 5 years, but have had a little here and there - I don't like it enough to get addicted at all.

LC - That was me, too. I got addicted to doing this one aerobic routine (yes, I'm dating myself) and eating lettuce essentially for about 6 months. I got very thin but also got a lot of attention for it. I wonder how that and the alcohol are related.

Off to work - have good, sober days.

Pav