Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday Morning, Nesters!

Gosh, where to start.. it's been an emotionally busy few days! A week and a half ago, my eldest and her boyfriend of 3 years asked my permission to get married. She's only 18.5 years old and not finished with school yet, but she's found what she wants to do for a living and is taking the steps to get there.. they explained to me that getting married was important for them, making the commitment to eachother and making a statement within the religious community. He's Muslim and she decided a while back, after reading the Koran and lots of discussion, that she wants to be, too. It's taken some time for me to work through my fear of the unknown, my stereotypes, to be open to hear the truth. Everything going on in the U.S. right now, is helping me so much to see where my own biases (that I didn't even necessarily know were there!) are. Anyway, long story short, I agreed with an open heart and they spontaneously set the date for this past Wednesday. Because of my family being far away in the States, and his being far away in Gambia, it was a small affair with her best friends and his. Her dad, my dumb ex husband couldn't pull himself together to come.. I guess I was glad that he was self aware enough to know that he might be judgemental/in a bad mood/whatever, but also such a shame for him to miss out on such a special and important day in her life. It was a really nice ceremony and the Imam took about an hour to explain to all of us in German, the ins and outs of a marriage in Islam.. it was beautiful, touching. He also encouraged us to come to a class to learn more.. it seems they're really trying to dispel some of the negative views/biases people have. So she'll continue to live at home with me during the week this next year while she finishes up at school.. it's just down the street from us. That also makes me happy.. I'm not quite ready for her to move out!

Wags, I really liked what you wrote a couple of days ago. I'd be really interested to hear which news sources you're reading/listening to, if you don't mind sharing. I'm also trying to keep on top of things, listen closely to what people are saying. I feel like I'm able to see and hear people of color in a way I couldn't/didn't before. I never would have called myself a racist but now I can see that I've been guilty of ignorance/not paying enough attention/not calling people out/not listening well enough and not listening to many very important voices. The racism against Hispanics in the city I grew up in (Phoenix) is atrocious. I'm really done with that.

Al, I wanted to congratulate you on 7, now 12 days of sobriety!! Awesome!

Julia, well done to you, too! Not many things I like more than going to bed with a book.. what are you reading?

Pav, I also want to ask what movie you watched again? That's happened to me many times.. with series as well, having to go back and watch episodes I can't remember at all. No more! Have you been out on any hikes lately?

Ava, Cardy is such a honey.. I missed the story as to how she came into your life, but I guess she's a rescue. How long have you had her and how old is she? So nice for little Carl to have a calm friend!

Byrdie, scary with the numbers still being so high there.. I'd also just stay put. They've basically opened everything here up again.. even the fitness studio, with an optional mask rule. Our numbers have stayed consistently low, but I'm kind of waiting for them to go up again. How'd your hair colour turn out? You're way braver than I am!

G-man, funny, but that's actually how I'm looking these days! Maybe we're twins, Lav! You're sounding great, of sound mind!

Ok, time for me to get some brekkie..

Big hugs to everyone and wishing you a nice day. Cool and overcast here today, which I'm happy about!xx

Oh, funny German thing.. I belong to a hiking group on Meetup and they're having a nude hike today.. 13km, nicky nacky. I thought, what?! And it seems it's really a thing here.. there are a couple of nudist hiking trails that people go to.. but you're allowed to hike nude on any. The things I don't know about!:eek-new:

http://www.naturistenweg.de/dokuwiki/doku.php

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

It was a really nice ceremony and the Imam took about an hour to explain to all of us in German, the ins and outs of a marriage in Islam.. it was beautiful, touching.

Congratulations to you and your daughter and families LC! This is a huge event indeed! I wish them lot's of love, peace and prosperity.




Oh, funny German thing.. I belong to a hiking group on Meetup and they're having a nude hike today.. 13km, nicky nacky. I thought, what?! And it seems it's really a thing here.. there are a couple of nudist hiking trails that people go to.. but you're allowed to hike nude on any. The things I don't know about!:eek-new:
http://www.naturistenweg.de/dokuwiki/doku.php

I'm in! :thumbsup:

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, Mr.G awesome pic of "Lav" haha, I hope it's not that big LC, congrats again on your daughters ceremony, Ava, eff that lady! 5 months is a looooooong time and as you said she's family now, I loved the FB pic of them in their jams, so cute! Hope everyone has a fab day, waves to all

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good day, Nesters!

Beautiful Sunday morning here. Not too hot and isn't supposed to be blazing today like it has been. I'm in the mood to get my steps in by mowing the lawn.

A couple of you asked about my son. He didn't have too much to bring home, though there is this ominous very large suitcase downstairs that will probably explode with winter clothing when opened, since the last time he was on campus was March 12. He has been here ever since, and finished up classes online. His plan for the summer is to be here and working his part time job at the grocery store. He's in the produce section so there isn't a lot of face to face exposure and he wears this lovely black mask that I made for him.

Lav, he goes to Albright college in Reading, PA. He wouldn't be going there except for the scholarships he earned solely due to the portfolio he had, and a 5 day summer fashion workshop he attended after his junior HS year where the faculty saw his potential. The college will make their decision on how they are going to handle fall semester on July 1. One idea they shared was to cut the semester in half, and only allow students to take 2 classes in each of the two 7.5 week sessions. I guess this will allow for smaller classes and social distancing. Though there is still the dorm living issues to consider.

Daughter just got up to 'spill the tea' about a few things. She has always been the nosy one and knows what her brother is up to. Time to officially start the day.

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

relapsing again (weed) but hopefullly learning. i thought it would be good to also check in while being at fault.
more tomorrow, and a plan. i need to start taking care of myself again.

hope you all are fine.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

You must not have ticks in Germany, LC! Or... maybe people enjoy the post-hike tick-checks :haha:!

My family situation is similar to your recent developments. Congratulations on the addition to your family! I'm sure your daughter appreciated your open-minded open arms. It is a shame her dad could not do the same. Hopefully with time he'll realize that we're all on the same path, telling ourselves different stories to help us make our way.

It's hard to believe it but I'm feeling a glimmer of hope about the future of the world. Maybe what seemed like the worst thing that could happen will turn out to be the catalyst for the change we need.

Take care, NS

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nude hiking? Where do you put your cell phone? Gads, that would be the last thing I’d sign up for.....not judging, I’m just very self conscience, plus I’m old, I’d hate to be a hazard to the others.
Julia, these addictions are a beast. Stick with it, you can shake these things! Hugs to you.
Hot and humid here, just took the dog for a walk, it did us both in, I had to race her to the water bowl!
Stay strong, everyone! Nothing feels better than living an authentic life! Byrdie.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

We did indeed have a much nicer day today. Any day that the humidity disappears is a good day in my book

G, the picture could definitely be me if I don’t see a hair cutter soon, haha!!

LC, a big Congrats to you, your daughter & your new son-in-law!
It seems that you handled an unexpected situation quite well, proud of you . I hope everything works out nicely for all of you!
Now the nude hiking is something I don’t want to picture. I wouldn’t want to have to bleach my eyes LOL

Belle, my sister-in-law lives in Reading so I’m familiar with Albright. I’m sure they will stagger classes & have smaller groups just like the rest of the colleges are planning.
Funny how daughters always seem to know things about their brothers, haha!

Julia, hang in there & adjust your plan as needed. It often takes several attempts to kick a bad habit, I should know!

Hello to Pauly, NS, Byrdie, Pav, Wags, Ava & everyone.
Wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Great work Big Al on 2 weeks booze free! Huge achievement. How are you doing there?

Top of the monday morning to y'all. It's a public holiday here. Today i'm off to a rehearsal room with my drummer to make some music. This'll be a first for some months and somewhat of a great thing. An old mate owns the rehearsal space, so it will be nice to catch up. Physical distancing will be enforced and shouldn't be too difficult. Butt bumps will suffice but could be a little tricky, as I'll be rehearsing nude of course in the spirit of LC's hiking group.

Take it easy and take back your precious life.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, just a quick check-in for me tonight. Our pup is very sick and I'm her number one caregiver, and I'm exhausted from being up all night last night at the emergency vet. She's having respiratory issues and it's pretty stressful. We've got her on antibiotics now and fingers and paws all crossed that those will kick in and start bringing her some relief.

Julia - keep on climbing back on that wagon. As Byrdie said, addictions are difficult. If they weren't we wouldn't all be here.

LC - huge congrats to your daughter, to you, and to your new son-in-law. Great job opening up your heart mama and being willing to examine your own fears or stereotypes. That's the best gift you could possibly give them. I'll have to tell you about news sources and ask you more about naked hiking next time!

Hellos and waves to Lav, Pav, Ava, Belle, NS, G-man, Pauly and everyone else. See you all again after I hopefully get a good night's sleep!

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] a bit late but warmest congratulations for you and your daughter. i love your story about the marriage.

i finished reading Joan Didion's "The year of magical thinking" (about her grief over the death of her husband) this weekend and am now starting on the recent biography of Simone the Beauvoir by Kate Kirkpatrick.

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION] oww i'm keeping my fingers crossed for your pup as well... i hope the antibiotics will do the trick, and soon!!

as i said, i need to start taking care of myself again and find new ways.
- moving
until 6 weeks ago, i did 2 to 3 hours of firm walking a day, being outside, moving, with my pup. i loved being outside, i love walking in a firm pace. i don't know where to walk now, i don't want to take those familiar routes alone. apart from biking to my studio, i hardly get excercise anymore. i'm sooo much indoors all of a sudden. maybe i'll get a hybrid bike. but i need to start moving now, so that's today, with planking, squatting, and some yoga.
also, if it's not raining, i'll walk home from my studio. not rushing from here to there.
i can't wait for the gym to reopen... July 1st.
- meditating
until 6 weeks ago i meditated daily and this did me a lot of good. i'm up to taking that up again. need to take care of calm basis.
i've been having anxieties and depressive feelings, i really need to support myself for that. i understand how they emerge.
have met my psychotherapist last week. what happened 6 weeks ago had such an impact, also in touching old pain, that i found i wanted some support. i can call him if i need to see him again.
- i'll write a few lines every day, it can be whatever. and i'll make a drawing everyday.
- eating. i've lost so much weight again these last 6 weeks. i couldn't eat, just felt sick. and that developed into neglecting myself. so not only am i sitting on my ass WAY too much, it's also skinny, so it actually feels sore from allthat sitting.
i learned that a friend of mine, a brilliant cook, is doing home cooking for take away (pick up) now that her assignments for catering are cancelled. i can eat deliciously for a little money and without having to cook. this is for the 3 days a week where my working hours are a bit too much to find the courage to cook afterwards.
today i'm cooking myself, for two days.
i'm actually looking forward to eating today.

i hope you all are fine dear people.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Julia, that sounds like a lot. One thing I've noticed is that people can take on too much when trying to be sober. If you can do it, fine, but if not, just focus on staying sober. I know it is all related and interconnected, but be careful of the trap - well I didn't do THIS thing I said I was going to, so F it, I'll start again tomorrow... Hope you're feeling better...

LC - CONGRATULATIONS! That is very young to make a big decision like marriage, so I can see how it would hit you as a surprise. But I appreciate the way you supported your daughter and her new husband - and I'm sure your participation will help them in the future. Naked hiking??? I think it would be fabulous if I could do it alone. With clothes on... Ha ha. Where do you sit for lunch??

Wags, sorry for your pup. I hope the medicine helps. It is so hard when they can't tell us what is wrong with them. Healing thoughts your way.

Ava, if Cardy's first owner comes around DO NOT open that door. She gave up rights for sure...

I had a busy weekend and did not do the housework I should have. I don't like starting Monday with a mess, but so be it.

Happy SOBER Monday.
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy Nest Friends! It's a nice sunny morning here with fresh air. The sun is sparkling through the leaves onto my kitchen table and the birds are singing cheerfully. I can't say that I slept that well, since we got a new bed and it is a little more firm than the last, but I am happy to be awake and not hungover.

I'm really enjoying a slower pace too, GMAN. I remember when my dad quit the rat race when I was young. He gave up stress and a higher income for a better pace and peace. He became a yoga teacher and worked various part time jobs. He is not rich, and says he does wish he had a little more in the bank, but he has consistently been one of the happiest people I know. There definitely is a balance there to be had! Glad you are not losing yourself in a money-making machine. That's where it all goes down hill I think.

Belle, I'm interested to hear how school goes for your son. I watched "Making the Cut", a Project Runway spin off, just last night. I love the creative process of fashion.

Julia, hang in there. As long as you are here and keep giving it a shot, you are going in the right direction. You know what you want...

AVA, where did the name Cardy come from? I think she belongs to you now and hope her original owner does not give you grief.

LC, funny about nude hiking. We ran into a nude German hiker on the Napali coast in Kauai. I was walking uphill and all of a sudden there was junk in my face. I'm notoriously not modest, but that looked uncomfortable with a heavy pack and no clothes to pad it. Whatever floats your boat I guess! Congrats to you and your daughter! What a whirlwind for you, and way to confront your innermost held beliefs. I truly think that most people don't intend to be racist or biased - they are often fighting years of learned beliefs. Glad you get to have your daughter near you still.

Nothing much to report here, except that we are planning our road trip. Two camp sites and one AirBNB booked - and we are going to see the Zion UT and the Sequoias, Santa Barbara, and Sonoma CA. It's not Italy, but it is an adventure away from home. I'm looking forward to a soft bed in our camper!

I'd better make my list for today. Stay sober, stay safe.

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

thanks Pav. what i need is not only a focus on staying sober, but also to weave the fabric of my life anew after this bomb has dropped on it and everything is different.
don't worry, i'm not pushing myself to do these things (which are not new or big things, i just had to remind myself they were in my life before and did me good)
but if i don't take care of myself better, just like i did before 6 weeks ago, i will be too vulnerable for relapse.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Monday everyone.

LC, holy smokes! Congratulations! What a surprise that is, I hope them a very successful marriage. It sounds beautiful.

The naked hiking sounds interesting, like NS or Byrdie said- where would you put your phone? lol Yeah, and the ticks. We have tons of ticks here. I like my clothes, the weather changes so quickly here, I would hate to be caught without a jacket
I would try it though, it might be right up my alley :eek-new:





Julia, keep after it. Its will stick one of these times. Its practice not perfection right?

Ava, Cardy is SO cute. Hang on to that puppy, I agree she came into your life for a reason.

Ken, quitting the rat race is what I am probably going to do. I don't know how or what kind of job I will get after this whole pandemic/low oil price situation is over. It is UGLY here in our province of Alberta. It is so uncertain right now I don't really know what to think.
GMan you've got it goin on

Pav, Lav, Byrdie, Pauly, Belle, everyone. Have a great day!