Evening nesters
So glad Byrd that you are over with all your eye surgery and the future will look even brighter still.
Belle, Kensho, all i can say is that thankfully they grow up into beautiful adults and take all the time you can with them. one day you wont be the centre of their life, one day they will think "oh shit i have to call mum, i have not spoken to her for a few days", one day they will be too busy with their friends. I remember i used to think "god i cant wait till they are grown up" and now i wish they were little again and wanting my attention. Mind you with four you do seem to still get a lot of attention but make the most of this time, one day they they will be saying "damn mum is needy, she wants to spend time with me" lol. I never seemed to have enough hours in the day when they were young and i wish i had of put things aside to spend it with them. I am lucky though that we are all very close and i would not have it any other way. You are great mums and will work it out.
Feeling about 80% now which is good, had a case of the wanting to pass outs yesterday but i think that was the Tramal so stopped those. My narcassistic mother is at it again. she went and told her woes to one of my son's so called friends who then head butted my son and tried to choke him. My mothers response was they must have been drunk. my response to my mother was very measured and sensible where i told her that no one f*cks with my children. she told me my son was drinking too much so i told her that i get how people drink AT other people and that she drinks too much also so may want to look at her drinking issues and i used to drink AT her and my father but years of seeing a psychologist and being sober have taught me so many things. before i replied to her she posted a thing on my fb page saying that if i didnt want to talk to her that was fine. i replied asking her not to post things like that on my fb as they were cruel and hurtful and it is not me that stops talking it is her. I had so many hurtful, cruel things that i could have said to my mother but i refuse to lower myself to her level. i wish that i had of gotten one decent parent in my life instead of two duds but it is what it is and it does not mean that she can treat my children how she wants to. I have not check to see if she replied to my email, i have communicated to her nicely on fb asking how she is. i dont need to be angry, i dont need her to suck the very life out of me, i dont need her to make me feel worthless and the good thing about sobriety is that she cant. she has also lost her power over me and its her choice to be in my life now. so there is my whinge for the day and boy it feels good to get it out. i have spoken to my son lots today and told him to get away from her, he has one life to live as he chooses and drinking AT people does not help at all. He told me that he was so lucky to have me as his mum and for me that is all i need to hear. i cannot sadly say that to my mother.
i did just eat a tub of 98.3% raspberry ice cream though and it was delicious. Tomorrow i have to take photos of the house as they have virtual house inspections now. i like those, take a photo, hide stuff, take another photo, hide stuff. works well.
take care and thanks for letting me rant. xx
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