Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Last day of heatwave # 5 or so they say, haha!
I sure hope so, i am really tired of this mess. My poor chickens are just standing around with open beaks, trying to cool down. You know it’s too hot or too cold when you’re getting 5 eggs from 20 some chickens. Feel sorry for them.

Wags, enjoy your week off & I hope you can find a cool place to hang out. How’s your Dad’s hip doing?

Byrdie, I think a lot of us are a bit OCD as well, Lol.
Don’t worry about the dirt & dust, it’s just part of life. Keep your focus on your awesome chocolate creations. We all love seeing your work

Never did get a storm last evening but it looks like one will be arriving soon.
Hello to all 7 wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yup, it’s the last day of your heatwave, Lav! We had beautiful weather here today -sending it your way. The chickens will love it.

Cataract surgery was a success if you can see the dust & grime now, Byrdie!

It’s ticket to boozeville day as we head into the weekend -but we’re not hopping on that train!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - nope, no train rides for this chica either. Please send that pleasant weather our way too!

Lav - My dad's hip is slowly getting better, thanks for asking. Like anyone, he's wishing it would improve faster but he has become a very compliant patient so to speak -- using his walker consistently and taking his pain meds am and pm. I think he's realizing how much these things help and that trying to rush healing generally doesn't work. Your poor chickens! I know you do all you can for them, and I hope your heat wave truly is ending. We've got several more miserable days here :cuss:


Hope everyone has a good weekend!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

So it’s 1-2 degrees cooler today with the same level of humidity we’ve had all week. Not exactly pleasant outside The rain storms don’t help a bit either. What gives??
I see Haiti had a huge earthquake today, poor things. I’ll stop my complaining.

Slo, you have good practice having AF weekends at the cabin now We all know you are strong & committed to your quit. Enjoy the weekend!

Wags, that’s good news about your Dad. It’s always so nice when you have compliant patients, haha!!
I know my chickens will be happier & healthier when we get some cooler weather here. Hope you are enjoying your weekend.

Not doing much, just trying to stay cool. Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m so excited for you, Wags, that you have a whole week off!

I did strike a victory with HB. When he cut me out of the trip out west to see the Grand Canyon and Mesa Verde, and only took young daughter; I told him if that’s how he was going to play it, then daughter & I were going to plan a trip of our own, and asked her if she wanted to go to Hawaii or Europe?
So he did produce two tickets for a 3-night stay at a hotel in Mexico that he & his brother had won in an auction, and daughter & I are on our way tomorrow!

My sister’s landlord is in jail after his 5th OWI. And he’s the one who gets so upset about my sister, his tenant’s, drinking! And tells me to get her under control! She has noticed him driving erratically lately. And knows that he was relapsed a couple years ago. His last OWI was in 2006…it shows how we can never be too careful, and it is imperative to protect our quits.

Have a safe Saturday!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends near and not so far,

Going by latest international news, it seems that the U.K. has well and truly opened up for business with restaraunts, pubs, sports events open with zero mask requirements? I think i recall UK vax rate at around 80%. We are in lockdown here for another week at least. Our vax roll out looks slower than other '1st world' countries, although we're ramping it up. Watching the UK, Europe, USA with great interest to see how things are progressing generally in relation to vax rates. Hope all are safe and sound in those extreme weather conditions. Thinking of the folks in Haiti. Sheesh! If it's not corrupt governments and poor infrastructure for the people it's another natural disaster. Same with the Phillipines. Beautiful people, but geez they cop it from various angles. My so called 1st world, democratic, civilised government with tax payers money to burn (or print) still allows our people to go without food, shelter, and adequate support. No one needs to be disconnected.

Flying by to say.......surf's up!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters,

i'm having such a hard time, getting another day 1 under my belt. It was really a mistake, taking time away from here when my friend was visiting. You did all warn me not to do that. I drank during a time of stress to "escape" and have been struggling since. Wags had a great post a while back with regards to thinking positively about all that's gained in one's life when alcoohol is taken out of the equation. You've all written great posts about that.
I was wondering, if it's not to much of a pain to repeat yourselves, if you could all tell me (and everyone else who might be reading here) again how you managed to take drinking as an option OFF THE TABLE? I thought I'd done that, but obviously I hadn't.. I know you've said many times, Pav, that once you took that option out of the equation, you were able to look at other ways to deal with stress, and all the reasons we might decide to drink. I'm wasting so much time, so much of this precious life, of which we never know how much we have left. I really want to be like everyone else who knows how to live without active addiction being part of it.
I think I can do today and will give it my all. I have a plan for the day and alcohol isn't involved. I feel sick at the moment, physically and spiritually, but I know I'll already feel more optimistic tomorrow if I stick to my plan today. I just feel frustrated that after working towards my goals, there's always been a point where I've decided to drink again. I haven't yet figured out how to keep it going. Even though everything is good and positive in my life.. I have healthy, happy kids, I'm healthy, I have a nice flat, a good job, a wonderful partner, good friends.. an active Nest/al-free community. All of my real life people know that I don't drink.. it's something I do all by myself. I guess that's it.. figuring out how to live my alone time without drinking. I try to stay active because that seems to keep me out of trouble, but then I guess I get overwhelmed and pull back. It's during these times that I often fall back into thinking having a drink is a good idea.
I'll never give up trying. But it sure would be easier not to have to keep beginning again. I absolutely hate having to start over. Ugghhh..
Anyway, the weather is lovely here today, this Sunday morning.. and I am very grateful for that with all the craziness going on in the world today.
Love to all of you..xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Finally figured out how to sign in on my phone.. just had to dig up my password!😊
I’m not so good at doing anything in my phone except calling and messaging.. but this seems easy!
Cool!!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad you've come back quickly, LC.

I was so sick of lying to myself, being sneaky, and manipulating people around me that I decided that I would join MWO, make a "public" proclamation of my intent not to drink again, and then do whatever it took to keep that promise. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be the honest, trustworthy person that I had been before addiction.

Tools:
Posting multiple times daily here.
Reading here even more often.
Reading and learning the physical and social science re: addiction.
Understanding how toxic alcohol really is.
Listening to podcasts and reading memoirs about addiction.
Letting myself do anything I wanted other than 'not drink' which was non-negotiable. (I was a lazy hibernator for almost 4 months)
Committing to posting here b/f drinking.
Committing to contacting a sober friend b/f drinking.
Trying to help others here and not wanting to be a hypocrite which I felt I would be if I drank.
More reading.
More posting.

You can do this, LC. It doesn't feel this way but it is totally in your control.
The moment you decide to be a non-drinker, you are one.
Unless you change your mind again.
Vow not to change your mind.
Great relief comes when a decision is made and there is nothing to think about anymore.
You can dismiss instantly any thought about drinking that pops into your mind because there is nothing left to discuss with yourself.
You don't drink. xx, NS

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi LC!

Great to read your post and see u around the joint. N.S. Right on Sugar babe.

One way of thinking about this stuff that stands out to me is not to say to myself - 'Forever'. I could never git my scone around that word. Maybe i still can't. But i don't focus on forever. I just focus on now and the short term future, e.g. this week, this month, this year. I remember this line of thinking being helpful to me and minimising 'overwhelm', which we want to avoid in the early days, or ever really. So! I knew one thing when i eventually stopped. That i didn't want to drink for now. That's all i knew, and in hindsight,that's all i really needed to know. P.S. If u feel a sense of hoplessness just because you can't git ur head around taking booze off the table forever, don't. I can't either and that's ok. We're not all the same. What i do notice is that without booze in my life, great things are happening. Really great things. I can't deny the results of allowing myself to shine. Go git it pardner.

How r u doing there Ms. Byrdy?

Surf's up, so big waves to evabody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Weather improving, not quite as hot & horrible as it has been, yay!

LC, glad you dropped in. You CAN make this your very last day 1, just don’t drink! I know that sounds simple & actually it is when you accept that you will never ever win with AL. AL wins every single time. I got tired of wasting my time & energy trying to win the battle with AL so I finally just gave up & quit for good. You have all the tools, brush off your plan & get started on your new & improved AF life!

NS, a good strong plan will take us wherever we want to go, awesome

Slo, I hope you enjoy your trip with your daughter. I’m very happy for you & glad you stood up for yourself!

G, the situation in Haiti just seems to get worse & worse every time I check the news, how sad. Actually there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of good news anywhere right now.

Byrdie, I’ll be happy to sample your creations anytime

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, nesters.
LC, I’m so sorry you are struggling. I’m sure you know my story frontwards and backwards, but when I finally made the agonizing choice between my husband and AL, I knew I had to make it stick. I made the decision I would not drink, then worked backwards from there. How did I achieve that? I got all the AL out of my space. I got my hubs on board. I set myself up for succcess. I didn’t socialize until I had to for work and by that time, I had a plan for whom to contact if I needed her. I had Lav in my pocket. Do whatever it takes to support your decision. I think most of us know when we are doing something risky, if you find yourself in this situation, reach out to one of us! You know we will help. It is not easy but it is simple. You have support right here for the asking!

Hot as heck here.
Yesterday’s project:
55241A73-EC8F-4B94-A334-FE6CA46CC435.jpg

[Elvis]

Re: Newbies Nest

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

(Martin Luther King Jr., activist)

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I could almost echo what LC wrote. In my case it has been 2 weeks of stress getting daughter off to college. Medical appointments, forms and hoops to jump through with the process (this particular college does not make it easy or transparent...thankfully I found parent groups that worked as a village to help everyone). But I did drink, not daily, but enough to put me back to day 1 which was yesterday. Husband has turned into a complete monster. He gets angry when I make little jokes, but it's ok for him to make jokes like when we drove through a tunnel back from dropping daughter off..."isn't this how princess Diana died"..."I could take you out and you could go like she did". haha. I went back to visit daughter yesterday...she is only in the city, so I could take the subway to see her and bring some of the stuff that her dad accidentally left in the car when he did the unloading. He was taking son back to campus and when he saw my location he called and yelled at me like a maniac (while he was driving) for 9 minutes about how I went to visit her without consulting him first.

But I need to forget all that and think about myself. I'm afraid he will feel free to be more verbally abusive since the kids are gone. I miss the kids terribly. I closed their doors for a few days so I can get past them without crying. Truth is I need to be strong in every way. I don't know what I am going to do about hubs, except set stronger boundaries. But being strong means not weakening myself with AL. that is the bottom line. The be all and end all. He treats me like a child and will use AL as an excuse even when I haven't been drinking.

I'm going to re-read all the replies to LC about making this the last day 1. As Byrdy says "no matter what, no matter who". I think one of the things Lav mentioned really hit home with me. It was to the effect that you will never will with AL...so just give up the battle. I surrender (waiving white flag).

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the helpful replies.. and Belle, I'm really glad you're back, too.!
Day 2 has been tough, but I thought a lot about what was written above, read a lot and had a firm plan that kept me safe. Yesterday I was on the road a bit, visiting my BF and I didn't take cash or CC to be safe.. tomorrow is a new day and I look very much forward to waking up with a clear and positive mind!
My plan is to check in here on my phone from work before I get ready to leave, to check in with my stress levels and make sure I take care of myself first.. if I have too much on my plate, I'll have to find some time to rest in between.

Byrdie, those chocolates look delicious!

Hugs all around and I hope everyone is well..xx