Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Slo, i am friends with my ex, i dont talk to him much as he married a friend i have known since i was 9 years old (a few dramas back then i must say) but i get on well with her. i know if i asked him to help me he would. he isnt really father material, kids do catch up with him when they play xbox, something i dont do. I think after being married for 17 years that why hate the person you spent all that time with. mind you my mother hated my father with a passion which of course made my brother and i think as children that it was our fault. thankfully parenting has changed over the years. I was a stay at home mum too and admire your daughter, there is no work harder than raising children. i just cant believe the childcare prices these days. I used to complain about $20 a day for a break ha ha.

G, i saw there were floods over that way, well i think it was lol. i hope you are safe and having fun. You seem to have planned your holiday at a great time.

Kensho, teenagers are atrocious but we all seem to get through those years. every day with them is a challenge. i am so grateful mine are all in their late 20's. i remember my mother used to say her grey hair was due to worrying about my brother and i. I hope you can find some work, life balance.

How are you going Over? can i ask what was finally your breaking point to stop drinking. All good if you dont want to say.

Pav, i could never watch my mother kill the chooks, they never did to my pet ones thank goodness. Susan and Karen are living their best lives now. getting my one egg a day and i am happy with that. still not sure why they want to come inside when the door is open.

Having a lazy Sunday, Bob was desexed and his hernia repaired on Friday, he is doing better today. wants to still hump carl but hoping that will stop soon. they were going to remove some teeth but seems this is a bigger deal than my vet first thought so he goes back in again on the 4th March. wont be cheap but he is worth it.

off to do some browsing in the shops and get a coffee.

Happy holidays Pav and hope you are doing well Wags.

take care.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning,

Daughter swam great again last night; swam the mile and got a great time! She had a lot of fun wrapping up their conference swim meet with her teammates.
Things like that make me wish HB & I were staying together. Oh well.
There had to be a lot of drama when your ex took up with your good friend, Ava! That will be hard for me when the time comes that he is with a new lady.
Thanks for helping me through this. It helps to know that you are still friendly with your ex, and your friend who he is with. And that he would help you if you needed help. I don’t hate HB, even though he made me sad and mad and feeling bad for years on end.

Daughter just swims for a division 3 college, not an elite program like a division 1 program, so no Olympic dreams.

I agree, I think raising kids is so hard. It’s good to hear that you, Lav & Ava, understand and applaud my daughter’s decision to quit her job.

Your back to embroidering and refreshed after taking a month off, Lav! I am so eager for Spring. Winter is getting really long.

Over it -must admit I’m curious what your bottom was too!

Thinking of Guitarista and Pav, and soon Belle, as they travel! Thinking of Kensho and Wags as they wade through challenging times. Thinking of [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], and hope she comes back!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters,

Woke up to a sunny but chilly day at 17 degrees, Brrrrr.. at least the wind has calmed down.
Spent most of the afternoon doing crafty stuff.

Ava, hope bob heals well. The young dogs usually get thru these procedures just fine.
So how old are Susan & Karen? Sounds like they must be a little older since they’re not laying every day. Some of my oldest chickens haven’t bothered for a long time & that’s why they will be retired. I don’t have enough room for sluggish chickens, haha!

Slo, that’s great that your daughter did so well swimming. She must really love it, yay for her.
I am eager for Spring too although it will be harder to stay inside & get this work done when the weather turns nice

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest. It's cool this am, but will get cold later when the snow comes in. The squirrels are running around like crazy as yesterday gave us all a little spring fever with 66 F temps.

Slo, glad you had a nice time at your daughter's meet. She sounds good! My son starts high school swimming this morning - his first competitive sport. He has been in clubs with lower levels and is now going to be with strong, fast swimmers. Practice every day... we are working with him on time management! I hope he loves it and gets in great shape.

Meanwhile my daughter is in an after school extra-math club to boost her understanding. So my work day is going to stop pretty much at 2:45 every day. It's going to be really hard when I have enough work for full time. I have always put my kids first and handed them the world, but lately I've been feeling a little resentful because they are not doing their part with grades and picking up around the house and staying active. Why should I bust my butt and sacrifice my dreams if they are going to slug around? I think I did too much for them, and now getting them motivated is a challenge. They are so different than I was - and my parents did the same things for me. At least my son is swimming now and seems excited.

Ava, you are right about work-life balance. It's the only way I am happy. I know other designers who out every second into their career and making money - and they only have that to show for it. Money is not everything. I read recently about the 7 habits that create happy-well aging people, vs. sick-sad ones. It said that after about age 60, people break into one of those two categories. Alcohol abuse at a younger age was a strong predictor of becoming sick-sad. Other obvious ones were diet, smoking and exercise. The other and biggest was having healthy, meaningful relationships. I need to work on nurturing more friendships. I have just been an independent person who gives her all to work and her family and a couple friends, but it's hard for me to keep up with lots of different people.

Anyway, I guess I have about 15 years still to work, so I'd better find and keep that balance.

G, hope you're enjoying yourself!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning to all you brave counterculture people who are living life without booze!

I slept really well and really long last night, and finally feel rested.

I think daughter does love swimming now. All the girls liked swimming because their dad was so passionate about it (about their sport), which kept them interested in it. I was trying to make sure she had other things going on in her childhood, not just swimming-swimming-swimming. So I’d have her take the summer season off of swimming, and had her do softball for a few summers. And I got her into dance classes against his wishes, since she was so good at it and seemed to love it, and she enjoyed dancing & recitals & costumes for 5 years. And I encouraged her to stay in choir in high school for as long as I could, so she’d get some music education too. Life shouldn’t be all about a single sport in childhood, if you ask me. (Which nobody did!)

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], you are really in the hard years in life where you have too much to balance, and I feel for you. Those were really hard years for me when I was trying to balance teenagers and working, and I coped with it by drinking. Kudos to you for balancing it all without drinking.

I have noticed too that procedures for pets are so pricey! I can brush our dog’s teeth and so keep up his teeth pretty well, but the cat’s teeth are a mess, since he bites & scratches me too much if I try to do his.

HB was freezing me out yesterday; just stayed in his own room watching TV on his computer instead of in the living room. Tonight I go up to daughter’s house to babysit Tuesday & Wednesday.

We had a warm day yesterday, Lav! Sending it your way! Back to cold here though.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Slo, enjoying your kids together doesn't require being married -- and it may be even easier once you're past this 'in between' time. It is great you aren't bogged down with feelings of hate--that would just hurt you! It sounds like you even forgive him because he only acts as he does because that is all he has known. Forgiving takes a burden off of you, too. But - that doesn't mean that you should stay in a relationship that diminishes you. And you never know, maybe he will be the one who has to get used to you having a new partner!

Kensho, when you listed the recent events in your life, all I could think was imagine if you were trying to fit daily drinking into all of that!! Thank goodness you were clear-headed as you dealt with all of it. I think the work-life balance issues you are facing are pretty much universal, at least among US women who are trying to do both. It is interesting, and understandable, that the last couple years have brought many women, including Slo's daughter, to the point of quitting. I know you are enriched (in many ways!) by your career and don't want to give it up. Plus, your kids are getting to the point of much more independence so you'll be getting more time to yourself. In the meantime, the tool that worked for me w/ teenagers was the privlidges-responsibilities dynamic. They didn't get one without the other.

I think I'm back to ~80% healthwise. Hoping and working for further improvement but grateful to be able to function again. We're having one of those spring days like you mentioned, Lav, and I'm looking forward to a long (if a bit slow) walk with our dog.

We're heading to CA later this week - first flight in over 2 years. I'm kind of uneasy about it (and about being in a hotel for 5 days with all of the eating out and interactions) but it is an important trip. It is hard to think differently after 2 years of being cautious!

xx, NS







privilege

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Have a great vacay Pav. Yep, that pic of guitar was my office for the night. Playing to a stray cat and a fella catching up on some Zzzz's on a nearby park bench. But i love it, coz you never know who you meet. I don't busk as in collect money. Not in a 3rd world country anyway. It's a simple free sharing of improvised music. A moment to moment thing. In Quito Ecuador now. Bit chilly as it's high in the mountains, but a beautiful city with the Spanish colonial buildings from around 1400-1500.

Hi friend Kensho. Things always work out one way or another don't they? :-) I'm certain you'll find a workable balance you're happy with real soon. Take care of yourself legend.

Yo NS. Travelling for 3 weeks here, 4 different countries. No hint of covid with me so far. I'm triple vaxxed and wear a mask as per each countries current rules, and have avoided indoor nightclub style environments. I heard from our govt. med dept. that planes are a relatively healthy place as aircon/air is constantly being recycled. Who knows, but so far so good here, which has included some packed outdoor market places and streets (mask on). Safe travels my friend.

Big waves to evabody. Surf's up somewhere and it ain't here in Quito. More like mist's up fam. Git it.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I actually found some of my early tulips pushing thru the ground so Spring must be coming - sooner or later

Kensho, I remember those years of feeling I was responsible for the whole world. A full time job at the hospital, dealing with a husband on shift work, taking care of the needs of two kids and taking care of my parents as their health was failing. I pushed & pushed until I collapsed (literally). My drinking career started After all that! I was so mentally screwed up all I could do was numb myself to get thru the day. You have a great advantage of being AF now, I know you’ll figure out what’s right for you, hang in there!

Slo, we are expecting a few days of warmer weather before it turns cold again.
I know it’s hard but try not to take your husband’s mood swings personally. Mine was diagnosed chronically & severely depressed nearly 20 years ago. The only reason he got the Dx was because I threatened to shoot him (he was that bad). The Zoloft helped quite a bit for the year & a half he took it but then he quit. That’s when I pretty much gave up hope of ever having things ‘normal’ again. They just don’t know how their moodiness affects others. Keep your attention on you, you’re doing great!

NS, glad you’re doing somewhat better & hope you enjoyed the dog walk. Good luck on your trip, I hope the time away is nice change of pace for you.

G, you’re really getting around & seeing lots of exciting places, very nice. A little mountain time sounds perfect

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

A few pics of Quito, Ecuador.

Church of gold quito 2022.jpg 'Church of gold' or similar local name.

st francis of asisi museum quito 2022.jpg The rest taken inside St Francis of asisi museum from what i can understand.

St francis of asisi view quito.jpg

St francis of asisi museum view quito.jpg

Bell tower st francis of asisi quito.jpg

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Convent door quito.jpg Convent door. Circa 1500's

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

We ended up with a warmish & soggy day but that’s OK. Spent the afternoon putting together a vegan lasagne for dinner & now I have lots of leftovers

G, thanks so much for the pictures, beautiful. St Francis of Assisi was the name of my church where I went to school for the first 8 years, got married there & all that. Keep on enjoying your very interesting trip.

Hope everyone has had a good day & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Lovely pics G, so glad you are having a nice time.

Lav, i dont know how old my chooks are, can you tell at all. i just like them and they are friendly.

Slo, life is so much easier for me now being single. the kids take up a lot of time still, my daughter who lives with me is just getting her life back together after a bad breakup and thankfully has a good psychologist and mother ha ha. she is very rarely drinking and has given up smoking pot, what more could a mother ask for, sigh.

Kensho, i am glad my kids are grown ups is all i can say. my kids hated me, i didnt understand them, put too many rules on them and life was so unfair. now they all love me and keep telling me they will miss me when i am dead! i have no plans on going anywhere just yet. funny how they think i am getting old but so are they. my eldest turns 35 this year, just wonder where the years go.

I have been back to work twice this week. Life is settling down post covid lockdown and this friday we can go out without a mask. its been such a long time since i have seen anyones real face but have learnt eyes can be very expressive. we still have to wear them at the hospital. One of my drs had covid and i saw him on Tuesday and he looks terrible, is so tired, poor man and finds it hard to breath atm. I definitely dont want it.

Going to see my mother on the weekend, i hope she is not negative this time. i have not seen her since she had her tantrum and decided not to come for xmas. we talk on fb every day. Taking my daughter and am trying to buy her a couple of chooks to put in her pen. that will give her an interest.

Hope everyone is doing well. Good to see you reading LC, please check in and say hi.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Mabel is napping, so I have some time to myself now!
It’s quite cold here, but sunny.

Those pictures from Ecuador are fabulous, G-man! They remind me of what the 14th & 15th century buildings in Nicaragua looked like, when D2 got married there.

NS, I hope you enjoy your trip to California, in hopefully warmer weather. I have flown and stayed in hotels a couple times since the pandemic started, and it has been fine. They were strict about wearing masks in the airports and in the airplanes.

Ava, that’s lovely that you have nursed your daughter back to good health after her breakup. Who are you hoping to buy chickens for; your mom or your daughter?
It’s good to hear that life has been simpler for you, yet still full, post-divorce. I am afraid of what it will be like. My condo is looking fantastic though!

Kensho, I hope your son loves high school swimming too! There can be really good camaraderie on a high school team.
I resented that the kids wouldn’t help with picking up around the house also. Like, at least take your cleaned & folded laundry to your room? Glad those days are over.

Speaking of, I better get to doing dishes and putting laundry away here at daughter’s house.

I hope Over-It checks in soon! Glad you’re here reading, Lifechange.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greeting Nesters,

Wow, we had a real nice day, it hit 71 degrees. Somehow tomorrow we’re going to be having rain, sleet & possible ice. Crazy weather!
I met two old work friends for lunch. I always take eggs for them which they appreciate

Ava, it’s hard to tell the age of a chicken but I can pick out the older ones in my flock. They are generally fatter & move much slower than the younger ones. I always feel a little guilty of getting rid of them but I only have so much room for them. I have started going certain places without a mask but if I’m going into a crowded place the mask goes back on. My friends have had Covid from working with covid patients & they have some lingering issues. I don’t want that if I can can possibly avoid it, you know? I hope your visit with your mom goes well. You would think she would appreciate the visit, haha!

Slo, using the baby’s nap time to get things done is what I always did
Please don’t be afraid of your future. You can make it as comfortable & joyful as you want, remember that.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

I might be 'steady' in my quit, but I'm certainly not a consistent poster! It's important to me though, to tell you that this place means a lot to me, whether I'm posting or not.

Am still dealing with ambivalence about my relationship, but I don't think this is the right space to discuss it. For me, that is. I think it's great that other Nesters can share their troubles here and receive such lovely support from others.

If I can manage my anxieties I will not be driven to drink alcohol. That's it in a nutshell.

Stay well, everyone,
Steady
xx