Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, isn’t that the truth?! One will always have an off day, week, or month -regularly! That’s just life I guess, and we have to learn how to roll with it. The only rule when starting out is Don’t Drink. Wise words! You basically explained more fully what G-man means by “appreciation not expectations”.

I’m happy that adding more potassium into the mix of what I take for my detox diet (Love Your Liver; Nutrition Restored) is helping me weather these two weeks leading up to the full moon, when I typically crash physically, mentally, & emotionally. That was the missing ingredient!

Thank you for the tip about rubbing in CBD oil, NoSugar! I’m going to try that for my knee, in place of the NSAID pain gel, and see if that works better.

Thankfully my mother and her partner didn’t come up north this year. She wanted to bring him again…he fell in the bathroom and broke a rib last year! She stayed home to care for him…he fell at home again. That’s the third time in the last week or two…end of life sucks. I feel for you, NS & Wags, each with your aging/dying parent.

Ava, I guess your month off is truly going to be mostly for just relaxing, thanks to your shoulder. Appreciation, not expectations.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters,

long and busy day here.. more than i would have liked to do, but things i did have to do.. tomorrow there are a couple of things i can leave to the side if necessary!
i went shopping today and found a couple of summer dresses that look ok on me just how i am.. keeping in mind what you ladies are saying.. i'm trying to learn to love myself exactly how i am.. and since i've been to the gym a couple of times this week it's easier 'cause at least i FEEL stronger and better..

Kensho, not lecture-y at all!!! i appreciate it so much.. i'm the queen of making impossible or at least very difficult plans that i end up having to re-write the next month.. it's true that the only real non-negotiable is not drinking.. i am thinking of these things as i go through my day.. appreciation instead of expectation!! i'm glad to hear that your husband is on the repair and that you're all doing well.. you still have summer vacay, right? when do the kids go back to school? thanks for writing out the list of things you didn't get done.. helps me feel better..:love:

you, too, Ava!! time to stop putting so much pressure on myself.. i'd love to come over and help you organize your garage! i love organizing other people's things and i'm pretty good at it!! where are you and G and Steady meeting? are you all near each other or do you meet in the middle?

big waves to Lav and Slo!
Wags and NS, i'm thinking of you, too..
[MENTION=3200]Belle[/MENTION], how are you doing? how's your son doing with his projects? still a lot to do?
[MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION], how are you? and the pup?

it's only 19:00 here but i'm beat and will go to bed soon.. hugs all around..

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends near and not so far,

Lav, yep, i am a hombre fortunado to be meeting Steady and Ava.

Ava, can u catch a train to mum's? Could be a relaxing ride through the countryside?

Yo LC! S'up. Yep. Ava, Steady and me meet in the middle. In the city.

Big waves to y'all. Go git it.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still hiding in the AC as much as possible. This is really getting sad. Our planet is burning up & not many seem to give a big damn. I just want my grandkids to have a planet they can actually live on comfortably. Keeping my fingers crossed that some cool air moves in soon.

Ava, you should definitely get some CBD oil & give it a try
Keep on protecting that shoulder & I hope you get some real relief soon. The garage crap will wait for a better time.

Slo, I don’t envy you being around a bunch of heavy drinkers. I would seriously be happier home alone with a good book or TV show.
It’s been many months since I used the CBD oil but my feet have remained pain free & I am grateful. Still can’t believe the Amish knew this method of using the oil topically but it works!

LC, we do so much changing as we age & it’s hard to accept some changes. I’m glad you found some dresses you like. The last time I worse a dress was back in 2006 at my kid’s weddings I think haha!! I really don’t feel comfortable wearing them anymore for whatever reason. Glad you’re feeling better too

G, good to see you as always!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, I don’t envy you being around a bunch of heavy drinkers. I would seriously be happier home alone with a good book or TV show.
Lav

No, it was a lot of fun! Being together as a family can’t be beat. Drinking was a constant part of it, as that’s the culture we live in. And I was a willing & hearty participant in drinking & socializing together when I still could! People weren’t getting trashed, save the addicts. There were 11 children there!: 3 young teens, 3 tweens, 2 big kids, 1 little kid, 2 toddlers, and 2 babies! Lots of fun cooking together, boating, tubing, fishing, swimming, golfing, 4-wheeling, kayaking, playing games, watching movies etc.

My one brother and my one sister, however; we’re constantly drinking, like an IV constantly running. They both carried around cups of whiskey that they pretended was tea or soda all day. Then came time for my lit brother to drive his kids home…my little sister offered to take those two kids to their next stay Up North, so the cousins could be together -and so their drunk dad wouldn’t be driving them home for 5 hours while hauling a boat and a 4-wheeler. Then my other sister could pick them up the next day and drive them home for their Tuesday appointments…but she’s drinking all the time too, so does that solve anything?! In the end, they’re having to cancel their Tuesday appointments and stay through Tuesday when I can drive them home.
Meanwhile, son-in-law #2 works with drunk brother -and when he left work today, he saw brother pulled over to the side of the road by two police cars…thit may have just hit the fan.

And me? I am just SO glad that I am sober! And it is imperative to stay that way!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

YEA Slo, you summed sobriety up in one word.... "free"! It's wonderful not to be controlled by a substance! Isn't it amazing to watch it from a distance and notice? I'm sure people watched us like that.

Ava, Steady, G... wish I could fly down under for a coffee

Lav, thanks for the CBD recommendation. I might try that for my husband's injuries. I'd send you cool air but we don't have it either.

The update to my list of "didn't do's" is this: I'm headed out for a long walk shortly, gluten has made its way through my system and I feel better, I texted the friend I didn't get back to and she completely understood, and my 8am meeting yesterday went very well. Conclusion: if I had drank because I was disappointed and anxious, I would not have been able to enjoy the fact that all these things are turning around for the better. I would still be disappointed and anxious doubled by a hangover - stuck in that pattern. Things ALWAYS get better. The trick is to weather the storms, wait them out and problem solve. Nothing stays bad for too long as long if we accept how we feel and do our best with the situations. I used to throw the towel in too early and just take shots. I think that's why people stop growing when they choose to drink instead of 'deal'. The good news is that once we develop the habit of accepting our uncomfortable emotions and letting them pass, or taking steps to solve the problem, it becomes a go-to behavior and the knee-jerk reaction to reach for a drink becomes a thing of the past (mostly). Facing our shit is hard, but the key to happiness (and not so hard once it becomes habit).

Billing day for me - blech - but I get to be at home and stay in my pajamas! Best to everyone.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, I came on here to post last night and saw Lav's mention of Essence Well Being CBD. I went off to research that and apparently I never found my way back here! At least I no longer go down rabbit holes like that cuz I'm drinking. In the before times, I would have followed a chain of links and sites, thought of tangential ideas to investigate, and probably binge-shopped several items I wouldn't remember in the morning. I do NOT miss those days, waking up wondering what I'd discover and regret.

Kensho - fantastic to hear that your husband is healing up. How are YOU doing with everything?

G and LC - great to see you both!


Hellos and waves to Ava, Hyper, Belle and everyone else hanging in the nest today.

Lav - glad you were able to enjoy some outdoor time, even though it sounds like it was short-lived. I wonder if this is adding up to the hottest summer on record. It's astonishing to me how little people care about a lot of things. I worked in environmental education during the first 10 or so years of my career. We worked HARD to help people learn about our planet, to care about it, and to know *how* to help care for it. Those years often feel like nothing more than a drop in the bucket.

Slo - things sound really bad for your brother and sister with drinking. Did you find out what happened after your brother was pulled over? Yikes! I can't believe he would have tried to drive 5 hours with kids. I'm sure canceling those Tue appts wasn't ideal but it sure sounds like it was necessary.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yo Wags and evabody,

Wags, we need someone with your common sense in govt. making the smart environmental decisions.

Kensho, great post. You broke it down in a simple to understand few sentences. Your post is in many ways one of life's 'secret' hacks'. It's a code for living and reduced suffering for me. Golly gosh, gee whillackers.....it even opens the door to happiness and joy! While you're paying bills, get My, Ava's, Steady's coffee's will ya?

A working wednesday beginning over here. Take it easy, keep cool and healthy.

Big waves to all. Surf's up!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

My shout this lunch G and Steady, no one is to go to the loo and pay the bill on the way back ha ha, unless its me who does it.

Off to pick up a cat today and take it to the vets for a couple who cant do it, there are lots of things to do in the the dog/cat rescue world that i had no idea. Its nice to be able to do that for someone so their fur baby is looked after. absolutely no idea where i am going but thank god for GPS and of course i will leave super early as god forbid i am late!

Wags/Lav you are not making me look forward to summer at all if yours is this bad. We are pretty used to high temps but once over the mid 30's i am done with life. Winter has been beautiful, i have taken the boys out for daily walks and while it might only be 12 degrees celcius, t-shirt weather for me (a menopause bonus).

Slo, that is good that you had such a great time with the fam, mine are drinkers too when they get together but funnily enough since i have stopped drinking they respectfully dont normally get too shit faced. Xmas is a different kettle of fish though. I do feel so bad for your brothers kids, i grew up with an alcoholic step father and i cant say my life was a bed of roses, he even got me to drive once when i was 12 as he was too drunk to drive, of course i drove into a ditch, oops. it certainly screws with your head in latter years.

My daughter who lives with me has started drinking again and smoking pot. just breaks my heart, the big chat is coming today, i cant live with that again. she doesnt drink at home but goes to her brothers or to some friends who think its ok to get shit faced, then she doesnt let me know where she is and last night she came home and just snapped at me for no reason. Not sure why addictss think we are morons and know nothing and nag all the time (as she tells me). Its her life and she can do what she wants but the thng is, i have my life too finally and dont want to live this way. it was so good when she was sober, no arguments, we laughed, we did things together and i was just starting to trust her again. in one swoop it is GONE.

anyways best go and get ready to go and collect Sally the cat.

have a great day xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

HOT Tuesday evening greetings Nesters,

On our drive home this afternoon I noticed my car’s outside temp reading was 98 degrees. Factor in a sh*t load of humidity & it felt like 105 degrees, yuck. Therefore I am ready for fall weather, right now LOL. I did get to spend a few hours visiting with my daughter & granddaughter though so it was a good day

Slo, I would have been worried about those kids getting home safely too. Nice yo can pitch in & help :hug:
I’ve mentioned before my two older brothers are (were) big drinkers & family gatherings was just another excuse to drink. I don’t miss that, I do miss my oldest brother, he’s been gone for several years now.
\
Kensho, hope your billing day went well. I don’t miss that stuff either, haha!
I hope some topical CBD gives your husband some relief, worth a try.

Wags, I should have mentioned I picked up that CBD at Newark Naturals Foods in DE. I’ll have to check & see if they ship too. I don’t miss my drunken shopping either, haha.
If this summer’s weather events across the entire country don’t wake people up I don’t know what will

G, hope your work day went well!

Ava, be careful you don’t get lost in the animal rescue world, Lol. I see some locals on message boards around here & it seems they do nothing else, very intense people. I’m sure you will get a lot of enjoyment from the animals yu care for. Sorry your daughter is drinking again. Is it possible she’s depressed & could benefit from some therapy? Dealing with adult kids is another whole ballgame, definitely not easy.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!

just got done with a quick day of work and now i'm packing (in the very last minute!) to go to Poland.. am taking my laptop with me so that i can check in AND post.. will check in again this evening when we're settled into the hotel..

big hugs to everyone..xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I've been MIA, due to overwhelming stress and non stop demands.

LC, we must be sisters from different mothers. Stupidly, I drank (probably 2 glasses) of wine that hubs left in a bottle from Sunday night. Yep, the stress finally got to me. I had been doing really well not drinking despite a few really stressful situations.

Firstly, my daughter started working in a mental hospital as a Behavioral Health tech for pediatric in-patients (ages 5-12). She is planning to work 1 12hr shift per week even through the school year. Not sure how that is going to work. However, on Sunday night I was driving to pick her up and in an area of heavy road construction, the car on my left hit the concrete wall (no shoulder area). I heard a "boom boom boom" and looked in my rearview mirror to see him spinning. He ended up perpendicular and blocking 3 lanes of heavy traffic and I was the last car to escape. If I had been a fraction of a second behind, he would have spun into me and who knows what would have happened. I held it together until I got home and went to my bed sobbing. I'm still not over it.

Son working feverishly on his wardrobe to show at NY fashion week. I have decided to not nag him and it looks like he is doing fine.

But the drinking last night. Stupid. I know my biggest trigger is getting to the evening with no dinner plan. But I have been planning and last night was ready to make dinner when I had to go out to get some lunch items for my daughter who is doing another 12 hr shift at the hospital today. It was eerily creepy/stormy outside and I felt like I was in a weird movie. I came home, had to make room in the fridge and this nearly empty wine bottle had to go so I said "why not drink it".

So back to day one. LC...let's do this and make it our last!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

The heatwave continues here but i hope it’s nearing the end. Fingers crossed anywya.

LC, wow, was this a last minute decision to go to Poland. I’ve never been there but my grandfather was born there so I feel the ties. Travel safely :hug:

Belle, so sorry about that road incident. That would have freaked me out as well. Glad you are OK.
I remember my mom telling me when you have little kids the problems are little & when they grow up, the problems get bigger too. We have to let them find their way.
Sorry you decided to drink, it probably really didn’t help all that much - am I right? Having an open bottle in the fridge would drive me nuts, even after all this time. My husband has a small fridge in ‘his garage’ where he keeps anything he may be drinking. I don’t go in there or even think about it really. Ask your husband to store his wine elsewhere in the future, it’s only fair. Hang in there.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

My mom passed peacefully. It was as positive as possible for a sad occasion. I'm ok and am so glad to have been fully present when I was with her for the last 9 years.

xx, NS

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS - :hug: :heartbeat: I'm so glad your mom's passing was peaceful. We should all hope for such a transition -- it seems easier for the one moving on as well as those of us staying "behind" for a bit longer. Sending you love and support.

LC - Safe travels!

Belle - back in the nest and strap yourself to a comfy twig. We're here for you.