Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

MIA again - I got out of the habit of coming here every morning, and when I don't come in the morning, I have trouble finding the time. I do know that a sober community is key to preventing relapse, and I also know that I miss you all when I don't check in! I hope everyone is ok.

My son has been going through it - I don't really want to explain it all here, but he is much better now (one of the reasons I haven't been here). He finally decided to move out of CA and to CO. I am so grateful because my husband and I both have family there so he'll have a nice landing pad when he needs it.

School started - it feels better this year than it did last. Although the CDC are still RECOMMENDING masks, no one wears one. I think we've all just given up and will take what comes. It is weird to see everyone's faces - some of the newer kids I had never seen from the eyes down. Some of the younger kids are pretty squirrely still, but we're getting there.

As for our weather - we just had a killer heatwave that you probably read about. Over 100 here for several days in a row. It really is disconcerting and feels like the apocalypse has come. A heatwave used to mean 85. I am focusing on what I have control over, and trying to meditate more, mostly over pottery. I took a class last January and have been hooked ever since. I have a million bowls of various sizes and thickness and glazing - just trying different things. It is very good to have this meditation twice a week, and good for me to just experiment with different techniques and see what happens - letting go of attachment to outcome. It is good practice for life!

Ava, those pups will be lucky to have you! Slo, I sat through my niece's volleyball tournament on Saturday - it was fun and I got caught up in it, but it is such a weird situation that these kids don't have any free, unstructured time. I feel sorry for that four year old!

Hi to everyone else. I didn't read back. Hope all is well. Happy SOBER Monday!

x
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Monday evening greetings Nesters,

Dancing thru clouds & occasional raindrops today but at least it’s not hot! It’s currently 79 degrees & heading down into the 60’s tonight with even more rain. I don’t want to jinx anything but I think we are actually seeing the beginning of a new season

Wags, if I can’t break this broody girl soon she will be going to the nearest amish farm. They know how to deal with them, haha! She really is so different from al her nest-mates, strange.

Pav, nice to see you!
I remember the days of kids moving in & moving out. They do eventually settle down so keep the faith.
Schools have dropped mask mandates for the most part around here, we’ll see how it goes. I hope this school feels more ‘normal’ for everyone.

I had the pleasure of meeting 3 old work friends for lunch today. We worked together for 12+ years, great to catch up.
Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Geez, I did not realize I have been MIA that long, lots going on here.

Slo, sorry to hear about your stepfather. As someone else mentioned, even when we know it is imminent, that does not make it any easier when they pass.

Pav, I hope your son figures his stuff out, with the help of family. Growing these young adults is not for the faint of heart!

I was too much of a Nervous Nellie last week to do much other than work, fret, get dog boarding sorted out, fret some more, and pack for NY. There was a lot of driving involved. First picking up daughter from college and driving to NY (basically from DC to NY on I-95 which is a pretty nasty ride). Son rode the bus from college to NY. I did not see him until the show, while he was giving an interview to some media person. Apparently the designers were asked to do a number of interviews.

The show was surreal. I did not cry but I was almost in disbelief when I saw his creations coming down the runway. I know y'all wanted a peek at what he made so here it is:

IMG_9883.jpg IMG_9890.jpg IMG_9892.jpg IMG_9899.jpg IMG_9884.jpg

And then the ride back yesterday...NY to son drop off, then daughter drop off...then home. Felt like we were in the car all day. I did little more today than return my rented dress and pick up doggy from boarding. Poor thing looked skinny. I think she was too nervous to eat while there.

But I.Did.Not.Drink. And I do plan on keeping it that way.

Time for bed, need to go to work tomorrow since I did not go today.

Take care, all!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle.... what a whirlwind! I love his unaligned jacket skirt and jumper... such talent with all his creations! I love seeing this!!! Glad you are NOT. DRINKING. PERIOD.

Lav, strange that your feathery gal has an attitude. Is she a millennial? Just kidding. I've met some really nice millennials.

PAV, I was wondering where you were! Glad you are checking in, and sorry to hear it's been a rough go with your son. Colorado is a great state... can't say it's much cooler though... If you come visit him, feel free to reach out!

Wags, I really love that statement, "I feel better not drinking, so that's what I do". Takes the judgement completely out of it... me taking care of me. Who can argue with that? And it has nothing to do with anyone else. The discomfort I sense is like Slo says; mostly that they don't know what do to or say. Should they invite us over for wine on the deck, can they drink around me, etc.

I had a productive day, thank goodness. Not quite caught up, but on a roll and moving, which is how I'm happiest. I have tendencies to get stuck at times. Not much else going on, except that I've been stuffing my face lately - happens at this time of year for me sometimes. I just start craving carbs and sugar. Just ate a bowl of ice cream, and it was quite delicious thank you.

Have a great night/day everyone.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

So fun to hear from so many!

That’s good advice, Wags; phrase why we don’t drink in a way that makes it our choice, but not a reflection on them or anyone else’s drinking.

Pav, I hope things with your son will go more smoothly from here on out.

Volleyball is fun to watch. Soccer is ok too -I enjoyed the opportunity to see my niece & nephews in action. I was never invited to see my older nephews-my brother’s kids -play soccer when they came to the area, because just Grandma would be invited. Now that my mother needs me to drive her places -I get invited too! I’ll take it.
Yes, there is way less unstructured free time for kids. But then again, in the 70s there was lots of free time, and teens ended up using it to get wasted together…so maybe the rise of the kids sports industry helps to prevent some of that.

Cool outfits that your son made, Belle! And massive congratulations to you on not drinking in response to the stress of it all!

I had friends stop in to visit me today, and see my new place, because they were in town. That was a nice couple of hours! A late morning visit before they head out of town works great for this non-drinking introvert!

Lav, I love it that you got to meet up with your old workmates today.
Yeah, the Amish farmer will know how to deal with your errant chicken. Off with her head!

I have had a very tired day today, and fell asleep for an afternoon nap. Hope to have more energy tomorrow.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Wow Belle, you have a very talented boy, much appreciate the photos. I can see myself in the overalls but i would be forever pulling the straps up lol. And wonderful not drinking with all the stress you went through getting organised.

Slo, 3 of my children played soccer and my other child's only interest was the canteen when the other three were playing soccer. One sport was enough and we could not afford anything else. God knows how they can afford it today, all sport costs a fortune. I did love the meat pies though for breakfast ha ha.

Lav, Susan and Karen are still being awful to popcorn so today i locked them up and let popcorn out to wander. that will teach them. Popcorn is the only one laying. has it cooled down for you now.

Kensho, the PA is a gem and some days i think after working at the same job for 15 years i need a change but i do like my job when i dont work with twits!

I just tell people i dont drink now, if they ask why i tell them i was an alcoholic, i am not now as i dont drink. I am very proud of my sobriety but i think each to their own on what they say. Most of the people at my work know and its nice not to feel judged, that i am human with faults. I still cant believe i have not drank for nearly 9 years but i dont shake my head anymore in wonderment.

The foster girls are doing okay, the blind girl is skin and bones but has small regular meals and is not devouring her food, like it was her last meal, the deaf girl has a bit of urinary incontinence but thats okay. they have a dog pen next to my bed so i can keep an eye on them. they sleep a lot and as hard work as it is atm it is very rewarding. both have mammory tumours so unsure if they are benign or cancerous at this stage. Carl and Bob are pretty considerate of the girls, i think they realise that they are unwell so i am pretty proud of them.

Work is mad, it was decided that we should have a public holiday next Thursday for the queens funeral. Not a good idea in the health service. looks like we are working and will get paid time and a half for the pleasure. Cant complain about that.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greeting Nesters,

Sunny & not overly hot so it’s all good here. The nights are cooler, I think everyone appreciates that
We were back in our old home town today, it’s changed so much over the last 19+ years since we left. I think I’m glad we got out of there when we did. Even our old high school was torn down & the new one is just so cold looking, I don’t know. My crazy chicken met the business end of a hand broom today, haha. I’m not taking any more BS from her. She needs to work on her attitude.

Ava, you sure have your hands full with the new foster pups, bless you & I hope everything works out.
I think it’s a great idea to isolate the mean girls until they change their minds, Lol

Slo, nice your friends stopped by for a visit & to see your new place. I really enjoy staying in touch with the people I spent so much time with back in the day. It’s good to catch up!

Kensho, we do have a few of those very young neighbors here but they’re pretty good, not annoying haha! Even my daughter can’t tolerate the millennials hahha!!

Belle, Congrats to your son on his creations, what a great showing!!! Hopefully he will be a little calmer for the next one Lol.
You certainly put a lot of effort in & should be congratulated as well. Good job Mom
Staying sober was a big plus!!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

So awesome to see everyone checking in!

Pav, sorry your son has been going through some difficult times -- hope he finds a great next chapter in CO. Your CA heatwave hit up here too although we weren't quite so hot this time. has your whole summer been hotter than usual? Ours has for sure.

Belle - amazing photos from your weekend. Congrats to your son and his beautiful work!

Glad the ideas about how to tell others about our *choice* to not drink were helpful. I actually think my decades of vegetarianism and navigating that without people feeling judged helped me a lot with sharing my non-drinking status.


Hellos and waves to Slo, Lav, Ava and everyone else hanging out in the nest. Hump day here we come!!!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters

Like Lav's world...it is finally cooling down here a bit. Let doggy out this morning and was surprised how "fresh" it felt outside. Doggy has been acting weird, but I think she is just punishing us for leaving her for 3 days, but she is coming around with extra walks and TLC. I think the socialization is good for her so I will probably take her for a few hours of doggy daycare now and then. And hopefully she will learn that when she is left there, it is not for forever, and we will be back for her.

Thanks for all the kind words about my son's work. I can hardly go on instagram or Facebook without seeing photos of his work. The school is posting a lot of photos from the show and eventually the entire show will be on YouTube, plus the professional photographer's site where my son can download photos for his portfolio. I still cannot believe that all happened. He is already talking about "ideas" he has for a spring show. But on the other hand, he had better think about graduating in the spring. 5 years is enough. lol.

Another reason not to drink (as if I need any, and there aren't thousands of reasons): Brother and wife asked if I would like an all expenses paid trip to the beach this weekend in return for a few hours of taking care of my niece while there. Hell Yeah! Wife's friend is having a 40th birthday party at the beach and they need a trusted babysitter. I am so glad they can trust Auntie Granny. If I was drinking it wouldn't be that way (right, Lav?).

I usually do not feel like I need to explain why I don't drink to anyone. I do have a valid reason if pushed, and that is the meds I take for fibromyalgia. Just "a little" AL makes me drunk, and the meds don't work so well if I'm hungover. might as well flush them down the toilet.

Off to work. Things really built up the two days I was off, as the beginning-middle month is always busy. But wait...September is almost half over!!

Have a great day, all.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wow, Belle. How exciting! One of my favorite guilty pleasures is watching Project Runway - I think we've talked about it before? So cool that he (and YOU) got that experience.

Ava - take good care of those old girls. Time and a half sounds about right...

Lav, I missed the definition of a broody chicken, but she sounds most unpleasant. Has anyone seen Schitt's Creek? The one where David ends up on the Amish farm? Makes me laugh to think of your chicken there...

Yes, Wags, much warmer than usual around here. We are usually cooled by the fog more often. In San Francisco it is often called "Fogust" because the month is so chilly, but not so much this year. I REALLY hope we get some rain this year, but it seems our Mediterranean climate has changed for good.

I always tell people who dig, "I drank enough when I was younger for a lifetime." I don't mind people who are curious and have more questions - I feel like they may be questioning their own drinking and I love to help in any way I can. Thank goodness I don't drink!!

We had a family "meeting" last night. It was an amazing discussion, very adult and very open and honest. It was really beautiful to see my kids as almost-fully-formed adults. They are going to be fine. I could never have done that if I was drinking. Phew.

Happy SOBER Hump Day,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Don’t tell anyone but we’re in a nice weather pattern for a few days, haha!! I’m sure something will come along to screw it up but for now it’s nice

Hello to Wags! I’m pretty sure no one has questioned my non-drinking for years now. I guess they eventually became comfortable with my choice. I make a point to never question another person about their eating or drinking habits, it’s none of my business.

Belle, I’m loving this cool spell - hope it lasts for a good long while.
Giving up AL to have complete access to the little ones was really a no brainer. I made the right choice, you did as well. Have fun with the little one

Pav, the Amish people don’t put up with the BS, they just eat the chicken & think nothing of it hahah!
Broody hens give up food & water & exercise to sit on a nest of eggs until they hatch. But none of these eggs are fertile, we don’t have a rooster. I think maybe she just needs to be eaten, Lol
I enjoy my kids as grownups, I like sitting back & watching them make good decisions for themselves & families. Proud mama moments.enjoy the family!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings, Nesters!

Nice spring-like weather around here lately.

I'm so used to being quit and to reinforcing the fact, that I actually enjoy telling people I don't drink. If asked why I'll say something like, "I drank enough when I was younger to last me a life-time", and don't give a hoot what anyone thinks.

It's time to shake things up a bit, so I'm planning a trip to Mexico & Cuba this November! Haven't been overseas since 2006 (just before I met Mr (Un)Steady), and I'm very excited to be heading off alone.

Now, I believe Mr G recently had a milestone - 4 years' sobriety. Congratulations, dude!

peace, strength & sobriety,
Steady

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Pav that is so good about the family, life is much easier when the universe clicks for us. enjoy it while you can lol. i find if one of my kids wobbles, the rest do too, so i have a bunch of stress and then back to normal.

Belle, that is lovely getting an all expenses paid holiday to look after your most favourite little person. Enjoy the break, well deserved. So proud of you for not drinking, there really is no excuse that would entice me and life is so much easier.

G, happy 4th sober birthday. i cant believe the years flying by for you and life isnt a struggle anymore (well only sometimes). Have a lovely happy day. xx

Steady that is great that you are going overseas for a holiday, good on you for taking that step. You will have a ball.

Wags, how is your dad going now?

Lav, broody chooks are the worst, their bad side really comes out. Dinner sounds good for her. shame she isnt eating so you could fatten her right up.

Ive been juggling a lot this week but luckily tomorrow is friday. Gucci the deaf girl has not been eating and tomorrow is my third visit to the vets, glad i dont pay for it but tomorrow she needs an ultrasound as she has a lump in her colon, fingers crossed it is benign. The blind skinny one, Bindi is eating still like there is no tomorrow and is starting to come when you call her name, they have settled in well and its amusing to watch her run into things, back up and go on her way. she will have the house figured out in no time.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

GUITARISTA HAS 4 YEARS AF! Congratulations, Sir! That is a very solid amount of time.

I loved streaming the old Project Runway with young daughter a couple years back. What a great show. Even then-HB watched it.

I like how you were able to have a family meeting and talk things out, Pav. How mature, and reflects good communication skills. Such a thing could never have happened in neither my family, nor in my family of origin, sadly.

Yay on the beach trip, Belle! THAT will reinforce your sobriety -don’t want to jeopardize that! This week when D2 told me that she & her HB have an upcoming trip to the Virgin Islands, I tried to get invited along as a nanny for the baby -but no go. They want to go as a little nuclear family.

Great work with the old dogs, Ava. Bless you for caring for them.

My mother’s car broke down, right when she’s trying to plan her husband’s funeral, so I ended up spending yesterday driving her around.
I feel badly about my ending with my stepfather. I got my mother out of his room and to the cafeteria so he could nap (she’s so hard of hearing, and I couldn’t talk softly enough for her to hear, so he kept waking up). Then she talked on & on so much that I suddenly realized that I had to get going to my next appointment, so I left from there without going back into the room to say goodbye to him. I knew I’d be back within the next few days, but that ended up not happening for a variety of reasons, and he died. Also I thought she’d keep us informed daily on how he was doing on the family group text, but she didn’t. Moral of the story: make sure you hug someone goodbye and tell them you love them each day when you leave if they are in Hospice!

Busy days ahead with the funeral on Friday, and daughter’s baby shower on Saturday. Nervous about that, and hope it’s planned well enough. Awkward feelings to go back to my old home, ex-husband’s home, for these showers. But it went ok in May for D2’s baby shower.

My twin sister can’t shake off the dreadful, painful cough that she developed when she had Covid last month. I hope it is not turning into pneumonia or something.

I will finally have visitors as two daughters are coming over to my place tonight, and we will go out for dinner.

Wishing good AF days to all!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya Nest.

PAV, two of my very favorite shows ever: Schitt's Creek and Project Runway Soma da best. It's inspiring to hear that you are feeling positive about your kids! I wonder these days with my own... have I spent enough quality time with them, have I disciplined them enough, should I have sheltered them more, should I have kept their device use minimized.... I am hoping that in the end, I will feel like I did my best and taught them what I know. They are on their own journey after all and I do not control their outcomes.

Hard day for me yesterday. A lot of issues with current projects all happening at once, and due to a couple mistakes by me and the long delays on projects I will have to pay for them I just want them right... and it really bums me out when they are not. Back in the day, I would have drank an extra shot or two to make myself feel better. But now I just allow myself to feel the feelings. I feel upset with myself for making these mistakes and I feel like a mediocre designer. But the truth is that of the thousands of decisions and hundreds of purchases I make, my mistake rate is very low. I am human and will make them. I am a good designer, and would not still be in business if my work was bad. So even though these things don't feel good, it's best to just problem solve them the best I can, act in integrity and celebrate that I am imperfect. Setting the bar too high was part of my drinking problem in the past.