Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We had another fair weather day, nice
We made yet another trip to our favorite Amish greenhouse to buy more perennials. At this age I just want to look outside & see color without having to buy & dig in more annuals each year, #lazy haha!

Wags, I always felt bad for the elders who seemed to be terrorized by their thoughts, paranoid in some cases. It just doesn’t have to be that way anymore, meds can help.
Caring for family members is terribly draining. I’ve been there for all of our elders, now they’re all gone. Expecting help from siblings often goes no where. When I asked the one brother who lived closest to us & my parents for help he said he couldn’t because he had to work, DUH, I was working full time too & had my parents living with us. It took years for me to reckon that, haha!! He refuses to talk to me anyone after announcing I was a ____ bitch. OK, then. You have done a great job so far & I hope your Dad recognizes that :hug:

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest!

Wags, you're acting with so much love. It matters, even though it's hard. You seem to be coming up with such good ideas and solutions. Nothing may make it easy, but I'm certain your dad feels your love, and lucidly on some level. Hugs to you.

Lav - have you already planted and are re-planting? We normally plant annuals this time of year, but had a monster hail storm which would have ruined them all... glad I didn't spend too much (any) $! Your siblings sound like real winners (!). The currency of love is worth spending, in my opinion.

I somewhat wish we had the households with all ages - something about that strikes me as a complete way to live. On the other hand, I REALLY value my independence and "me" time - might be hard to get

NS, good for you for getting involved. I think doing that has more effect than we realize, because people we know learn what we are doing, and think about it... it's not just for the legislators. Anyone who knows you will see your energy and slowly, I think it makes a difference. Give 'em hell. Guns are dumb.

Hi Steady!

I see Byrdie lurking..... Hugs to you! Miss you around these parts and hope you are thriving and loving your retirement!

I'm going to relax tonight instead of work. The list is loooooong before we leave... but I'm checking things off. No sense working myself sick, have to recuperate sometime. Tonight sounds good...

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - good for you on letting yourself relax rather than pursuing a frenzied "to do" list. A healthier, well-rested YOU is going to be a more productive more efficient YOU.

Lav - what are your favorite perennials? We have lots of blooming bushes/shrubs/trees but not many perennial flowers per se. My wife has two green thumbs and an artist's eye so our yard is gorgeous. I just bring muscle and a good work ethic!

Off to see my dad again tomorrow. I think I'm going to take our pup with me - I think they'll both love seeing each other and it'll give us something to talk about.

Happy hump days everyone!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sunny but a touch cooler today. I don’t believe frost will hit here, maybe north of us (I hope)

Wags, I love a few different types of daisies, black eyed Susans, they types of plants that bloom all summer long. I have a deep purple clematis with blooms the size of plates, haha. In the Fall the sedum turns a deep red, I love lots of color. I bet your wife could come up with some good ideas for your area. Taking your dog in to see your Dad is a great idea, hope it all works out.

Kensho, here in the mid-Atlantic planting after Mother’s day is supposed to be super safe but the weather these days is so crazy. We can’t control everything I guess.
The multi-generational household thing work fine provided everyone stays in their corner & minds their own business, haha. At least that was the way it worked when I was growing up. Out of 3 brothers the youngest one would have been most helpful where the parents were concerned but he lives on the west coast so he really couldn’t be here a whole lot. I did & still do appreciate his efforts to stay in touch though. I hope you enjoyed your evening relaxing.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick sober check-in. All is well, just tired from a long busy day. Tomorrow my wife is having hand surgery so we'll be up at 4am. I'll check in again tomorrow night.

Hope you all are having good weeks!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Been another crazy week, daughter broke up with her partner of 3 years, he was playing around, denies it of course and apparently its her fault. She has been out at my house for a few days with her fur babies. Not that i am much emotional support atm but I am here for her and she appreciates that. at least she is not crying as much, its terrible to see your children in pain whatever age.

I have had the week off work, I just could not listen to patients woes of the world when i had my own so went to GP and got the week off. Yesterday was a year since Jasper died. Im thinking May not be my month! the funeral is on Tuesday for my friend so i am flying up early Tuesday morning and coming back Tuesday night. Tuesday would have been her 57th birthday also, it is going to be an awful day. I do know i will be taking care of me.

Carl is off to have his xrays tomorrow and then hopefully he can start walking further. he is so playful now, its lovely to see him not in pain, not that i realised he was in so much pain.

Wags, i hope your wife's surgery goes well and she is not out of action for too long. Thinking of your dad also and hope things become easier. My mum has surgery on her chin on 29th May, they removed a skin cancer but didnt get all of it so now she has to have a GA. If my son cant take her then i will.

Lav, I dont envy you the hayfever/sinus, i dread that time of year. Have to admire your brother, what a tosser. I am pretty sure if my brother was still alive he would be useless also. I bet your chooks are happy the weather is warming up.

NS, I think about going to protests but we dont really have that many or i dont hear about them until its too late. There are nazi party protests but not my cup of tea!

Steady, i go into work on Mondays and Wednesdays so send me a text if you are around, always happy to not work and catch up. xx I am like you, now i feel like giving back to society after being so self absorbed for so many years. I do get a lot of enjoyment from fostering at present and am so glad I can do that.

Kensho, have a great holiday, i am jealous and cant wait to hear how wonderful it was.

Weather here is getting cold, mostly the days are lovely if you are in the sun.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Definitely cooler here today but there was no frost on my baby plants, yay. Very sunny all day so it was nice

Ava, taking the week off was a good self care decision. I really believe we can only handle so much at once before we lose our sh*t.
Sorry to hear about your daughter’s boyfriend. Sounds like she’s better off on her own instead of hanging on to that loser. Attending your friend’s funeral will be tough so keep taking good care of yourself :hug:
Glad Carl has done so well in his healing.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - sorry to hear about your daughter's break-up. I don't think those ever feel good, especially when one person cheats or is dishonest. I'm sure she's glad to have your support and company, and she almost certainly understands you've got some hard stuff on your mind and heart right now. Good job arranging to have the week off work - that's some fantastic self-care.

Lav - good to see you and hope the sunny weather continues for you


My wife's surgery went smoothly and now begins the healing. Hopefully she'll have so much pain relief down the line that it will all be worth it.

Happy Friday's everyone!

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Lav, that's good your new plants were spared the frost. I have jonquils coming up at the moment, I love to go out and see the growth in the morning!

Wags, your Dad must have loved the dog visit. Pets are a great idea, bringing colour and cheer. Hope it's a smooth recovery for your wife with her hand.

NS, glad you're enjoying some Spring weather. I remember my grandmother came to live with us briefly before going into a care home. She had dementia, and it was difficult. But dementia wasn't so talked about back in the late seventies, and I thought her situation was unusual rather than common. It certainly didn't occur to me that either of my parents (let alone both) would be afflicted.

Kensho, you sound busy but balanced. It's good you're getting some relaxation time in between travel planning tasks.

Ava, good to hear you're looking after yourself too. When I was working I used to leave it too late to take mental health leave, so that the stress made me incapable of doing anything at all on the weekend (besides drinking, when that was still on the agenda.) Definitely, I would love to do coffee with you sometime. :happy2: Will text you when I'm going to be over that way. Hope your daughter's ok.

Well am off to meet a friend for dinner now. He's someone I used to work with, a gay guy, and we like to joke that we're a couple We've shared a lot, and have supported each other for over twenty years.

Happy Friday and enjoy your AF weekend everyone,

Steadfast xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still mostly sunny & dry here, it’s been a nice week. I guess we will be seeing some rain tomorrow &that’s OK.

Wags, glad to hear the surgery went well. Here’s to a smooth healing process
Hope your weekend is peaceful.

Steady, good to see you & I hope you enjoyed dinner with your old friend. It’s so nice to have someone in our lives who knows us (warts & all) but still loves us Lol

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick sober check-in tonight. Hope you had a fun dinner with your friend Steady!

Hellos and waves to Lav, NS, Ava, and everyone else stopping by the nest.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

Happy weekend! Even though I'm retired, weekends still seem special - I guess b/c there's no work or school for others.

I hope your wife's hand heals quickly and that your dad is doing well, Wags.
When do you leave on your trip, Kensho?
Ava, you are one of those with so many beings you are responsible for it is really hard to imagine you ever being addicted! It is cool to see who we all can become once we break free.
Lav, I hope you are sharing the gorgeous weather we are having here and you can be out in it.
Steady, I don't have any in person friends who know my 'whole story'. I'm glad I have all of you :hug:

It is a full family weekend around here. So grateful not to be sneaking around!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Well the rain never arrived. The clouds parted to reveal some afternoon sun, go figure
Staying outside until my allergies get the best of me, Lol

NS, like you everyone who knows me knew I had some AL issue but they also know that it was resolved 14 years ago. So I don’t see any point in discussing it with them, they wouldn’t completely undertstand anyway. It’s OK & also the reason I stay put here in these parts. Hope your weekend is going well.

Wags, hope everyone in Wagland is doing OK, including you :hug:

Hard to believe Memorial Day weekend is almost here. Not sure if I should make any plans because it would mean a lot of extra work for me haha. My daughter & her family are tied up with installing a brand new kitchen in their very old house (been there & done that a few times myself). My son could very well be working, the FD never gets a day off.
Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - sounds like you and your plants are enjoying fairly good weather!

NS - It's nice you're able to feel weekends as special through those around you.

Rough day here. I went to see my dad, and at first was ecstatic because he was out in the main room socializing with the other residents. He got up when he saw me come in, and we walked to his room. He was using his transport wheelchair as a walker, and I noticed he had a paper grocery bag with an odd assortment of stuff on the seat of the chair. I asked him what all that stuff was and he said, "it's what I'm taking with me." From there things went south very quickly. He was having an episode of delirium, and was convinced that we were at his place of employment and that he'd been fired. Lots of elaborate details. He was, in his words, distraught.

It's so heartbreaking to see that he's so upset about things that aren't even really happening. I talked with the caregiver on duty on my way out and we each shared what we'd seen & heard over the course of the day. We both suspect another UTI, so they will get ahold of the on-call nurse and run a UA tomorrow. It's weird to say I hope my dad has a UTI, but the alternative would be far worse so that's what I hope right now.

Sigh.

This fvkking sucks. To be totally honest, if I didn't love my quit so fiercely, I would be tempted to drink. But I know myself and allowing one day of drinking would never be the end of it and I am absolutely NOT willing to pay that price just cuz things are hard and very uncomfortable. I'm grateful to feel how Steadfast (thanks for the word Steady ) I feel with my quit.

On a brighter note, my wife's surgery went very well and she's not in too much pain.

Hope you all are having good weekends and that if parts of your lives suck right now too, that you're fiercely in love with your selves and your quits enough to protect them with all your might.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was a nice day here but we spent most of it moving furniture & belongings out of the way for carpet cleaners coming 8 am on Tuesday. We’ve decided we are too old for all this moving & packing & unpacking, Lol.

Wags, I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed right now. Please remember your Dad is in good hands, they’ll get to the bottom of what’s troubling him. I sure hope they get him started on some psych meds too which would stop these episodes. Was he running any fever or c/o any pain?
I think we all agree, this situation sucks but we also know that drinking will not resolve anything. Get some fresh air, take a long ride, do whatever you have to do to get a change of perspective. Your quit is precious, needs constant care :hug:
Glad to hear your wife is doing well, that’s great news!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe Night in the nest!

Lav