Newbies Nest

[available]

Lav i totally agree, I wake up every morning and wonder why the hell i spent the last 10+ years in a alcoholic haze. Life sober is really good. I never wanted to face it that way but i have learnt on this journey to take each day as it comes and to deal with it sober. Nothing is as bad as living the life of a drunk.

Can you send a grandchild over, i have given up on my children!

Rahul, my son left orange juice and wine in the fridge and i thought it was OJ, took that sip and hated it. no change in my determination to not to drink. Keep up the great work.

Long weekend so i have a day to think about everything i want to do and probably not doing it. Not guilt involved with that!

[Hanna]

Hello all
Ok, so I am ready do jump back in. It is amazing to me, how obvious to me it is, that when I am drinking, I am so, so, sad, so much of the time, and when I am sober, well I have my struggles for awhile but generally feel really good. Why don't I remember this at drink time?? I was so excited about my success, although it was less than 30 days...and I gave it away. Why? That is the thing we all deal wth I guess, the insanity of this. Why we would do something, over and over again, with nothing positive as the outcome ( anymore). We, I think, are just reaching out to some feeling we had long ago. So,sad really, so pathetic. Anyway, I a ready to,get back to,where I was..,and move,forward...,so,I can't wait for tomorrow.,I,am hoping, no PLANNING, the first day of the of my life.

[available]

Like all alcoholics Hanna we are addicted and al wants us to feed the addiction. The al part of our brain is very powerful, it is something i choose to remember and not want to go through again. it loses its power with time. You need to develop strategies to say no to al and it gets easier. Every sober day Hanna is a good day and i know i didnt have many of those in my drinking career. you can do this. Im not always happy but i am a damn side happier than when i drank and my al voice has now long gone.

[Lavande]

Bed check - hope everyone is OK.

Ava, the grandchildren will come & when they do your life will change in the best way possible
The reason I spent 10 years in a haze is simple to explain - depression! I had given up & really did not give a damn about a whole lot. especially myself. I was aware of it yet I did nothing to get back in control. I had two problems to deal with & didn't think I could handle both. One was AL, the other was my husband's less than desirable behavior. Long story short - I handled my AL problem, he decided to walk out a year later & was gone for 4 years - his choice. He's back now but on a very limited basis if you know what I mean, ha ha! So much for a 41 year marriage.

Hanna, we are all intelligent people or as Brydie stated the other day 'above average'. Unfortunately AL doesn't give a damn about that & the beast sinks his teeth in when we least expect it. If your goal is to live an AF life it can be done. Stick to your plan, adopt a zero tolerance policy & go about living your best life

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Orimus]

Picked up cigarettes today. Figure if I want a cigar I want a drink. If I want a drink I want a cigar. However whereas if I drink I want a cigarette I don't necessarily want a drink. And to think I started cigars because I didn't want to pick up cigarettes. We'll see. I got the mongoose to get rid of the snakes but now what do I do about all the mongeese?

[enzo'smom]

orimus don't worry about smoking right now. If smoking cigarettes keeps you away from a drink then so be it. That is my opinion, anyway…..because nicotine is powerfully addicting but in a physical way only. alcohol is physically and psychologically addicting. It is a disease. Get a good foundation in sobriety and then tackle that nicotine problem…..that is what I am doing….and I really hate smoking and want to quit….but quitting both at the same time seems disastrous to me.

[Mstall]

MAE everyone. Enzo's Mom - thanks for the link. I also read up at mind body green. Great article!

Dashing off to another overtime week. I will think good thoughts and take a mental break when i need to. Have a great sober Monday all.

[LilBit]

Good morning, Nesters. 'Woke up at 5 am today feeling GREAT. This is the first weekend I haven't had AL in years, and the first time I've felt this good on a Monday in a long, long time. It's Day 6 (which is great) but mastering an AL-free weekend is a bigger deal for me because the weekends were the only time I used to drink (at least in recent history). Coming here -- even when I only lurk and don't post -- has helped tremendously.

Hannah, welcome back and do jump in. The water's fine. What Available and Lav said is spot on. I didn't wake up today with all of life's problems magically gone. But I woke up feeling like I can face and even conquer them. AL is the ultimate trickster! It tells you that you need it to relax. It tells you that you deserve it because ____ (fill in the blank) but forgets to mention what you're really getting in the end. It tells you that "just one won't hurt" but it does. If I any person or business lied to me so egregiously on a regular basis, I would tell them to get on down the road in short order!

Lav, thank you for the bed check. I didn't respond but it was comforting.

Overit, how are you this morning? You're probably still snuggled in bed since it's early here.

Enzo'smom, I enjoyed your link. I bookmarked it to read again and again.

Everyone, I learned some things from Cowboy's post and all the thoughtful replies.

OK, so much for annoying you all by being this chipper on the first Monday after the Spring time change. Sorry, I can't help it. There's a long road ahead to stay AF of course, but I just stepped out onto a beautiful vista and I'm enjoying the view. Have a happy week and enjoy the melting snow.

[LilBit]

Mstall, by the way, I am also pulling 60-80 hour workweeks just now so I know the particular challenges associated with them. Please be sure to reward yourself along the way. I like the expensive bubbly water (only as a reward), walks on the beach, organic hot chocolate before bed, Swedish massages and buying old books. Geez, that sounded like an E-Harmony ad! But I'm sure you know what I mean. Be good to yourself.

[Lizann]

Lilbit, so true. Be good to yourself. Manicure for me this week:happy2:

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Lav, your bed checks and wake up calls are two of life's gifts. Thank you for being the North Star to so many of us!

I had a great weekend of doing what I wanted to do! I made cakes and took them to neighbors who were absolutely delighted to get them! (who gives you a cake for no reason?) It was very gratifying ....and things like that keep my mind occupied and my hands busy! No thoughts of AL in sight!

Keep up the great work, everyone.
MStall, congrats on your 100+ days!! What a wonderful accomplishment!
Happy Monday, all (missing my lost hour of sleep) Byrdie

[daisy45]

Hi everyone.....back on day one after the most stressful 3 weeks. After a lot of to and froing last Monday I could feel my mind and body overwhelmed with pressure.I had to finally say no to having the kids. The same day I got a nasty text from the grandmother. Since then a campaign of abuse online and at home. They rang both my work and my sisters to try to discredit us. Thankfully, the childminding section realised they were malicious calls.
But, they brought me down....ended up on complete bedrest, unable to speak properly and with breathing problems. I am still reeling from the whole thing.
I bent over backwards to help these people and they have turned on me in a cruel way. Going back to the doc later today. They will not be taking any more from me.....especially this. So here goes...day 1.

[Dutch1988]

Well I blew it, I gave in during the weekend and am starting from scratch again, I didn't go crazy but I did drink, which I really don't want to do. I am thinking about how depressed I felt the night before I started drinking and how I feel now and instead of waking up this morning ready for another week I feel depressed and dehydrated. I am going to have a tough one today but I know I have to stop doing this.

I made it 13 days, what do you do when you fall back? Does anyone have a contingency plan? Other than obviously get rid of the alcohol.

[Overit-still]

Just checking in real quick.
Daisy-I'm glad you are going to concentrate on yourself, you need to do this.
Dutch-just get right back on! No looking back, kick GSR to the curb��
Lilbit-good morning! Early riser here!
I'm sure there are others to greet but just accept my �� for now.
Gotta run, have a good day!

I must say I am REALLY tired today so I must have my guard up. I TTFP so I am safe for now. Just have to keep my mind under control.

[Hanna]

Good morning all-

Well, I am here and I am ready. Working all day, with a healthy snack planned for 3pm. Then, off to the gym, with a meal planned FIRST at around 5:30 or so. Then home, safe and sound. That is my plan and I am sticking to it. Enough is enough.