Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, way to go! I am proud of you. Way to work those sober muscles, they will get stronger

Jane! 5 years!!! Woohoo! I remember those crazy drunk days 5 years ago, thank goodness for the loamers. My 5 years is coming up too, time flies. Thankyou for the post, it was nice to hear from you. I remember all your stories about your MIl and drinking outside..I think. I am glad all that is over.

Ava, fingers crossed for Mads. Yeah, drunk husband can definitely be a pain, it just reminds me why I don’t drink like Knsho says.

Hello Pauly, wags, Fee, GMan, thanks for the posts.

Yea Pav it is amazing how much better you get along with your spouse when you don’t drink. We had a million drunk fights, it was nuts.

My interview went well. It would be a good job, hopefully I get an offer. I guess we will see.

Have a great sober evening everyone.
Xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Cold here today & we had a few minutes of freezing rain - uh oh.

Jane, CONGRATS TO YOU ON YOUR 5 YEARS AF :welldone:
I remember you had a tough start but look at you now. I am very happy for you. I hope your surgery goes well & you recover quickly :hug:

LC, glad to hear you thought things thru & did not drink. That's the way we get the job done!

Kensho, if I send you some rain will you also accept the mud that goes right along with it? Ha ha!!!
Then seems to be no end to the mud around here.

Ava, you sound happier & that's good. Glad Mads is doing better.

Hello to everyone & wishing a super safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey nesters. What a day. I didn’t finish up until 6:30.
Jane, I am so proud of you. Wow, 5 years! :flowers: Can you imagine? It would be awesome if you’d put that post in the Tool Box for safe keeping. I miss you, too. I hope you are able to get some relief with surgery. I am thinking of you, please keep us posted!

LC, if there is one thing I excel in, it’s my lack of self confidence, but I’ll tell you this, as my sober time increases, so does my confidence. I had to stop and think WHY that might be. I mean I never felt worthy of anything. Having gotten sober, I feel as if there’s nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it. Who knew?
Hugs to all! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here's something fun.... I've been craving "something" all day. Searching through cupboards and the fridge - trying crickets, trying salty things, trying fruit, trying to ignore it. But I never once had alcohol cross my mind. HA!! Isn't that cool? Alcohol used to be the first thing I would think of for any craving. I think it's probably sugar I'm wanting tonight - BUT IT'S NOT ALCOHOL!!!

WOO HOO!

Have a great night everyone!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un-hung Tuesday, Nesters!

What great posts and support and advice. I am indeed strengthening my sober muscles and habits! Rome certainly wasn't made in a day (gosh, that made me laugh!) and not even in 7.5 years! I feel it in my bones, each time I get through a craving, come here and listen to what you have to say, what your experiences have been, feel a part of the community, growing and moving forward together.. the new pathways being formed. It's true that there is usually something else I'm craving and that alcohol, sugar, chaos, whatever, won't help or fill the emptiness/relieve the stress/calm me down/help me forget, etc. etc. And alcohol isn't even a temporary relief anymore.. It multiplies any problem I might have by a thousand and immediately.
Yesterday when my daughter got home, we talked for a bit and I felt my impatience with her. I went for a nap and slept for almost 2 hours.. much longer than I wanted to and I felt a bit guilty for not being "there".. but when I woke up, I could be present and I knew that I was just exhausted, not passing out or sleeping because of something I'd ingested!
I appreciate so much the words about self confidence.. It can't get a lot worse for me, so waiting a while to see how I feel after not drinking and working on alternative methods for just about everything seems like a good plan!:happy2:
My Toolbox is growing and I'm actually using the Tools.. All of the little things that I've been thinking about and that you've been telling me, are coming forward, into the part of my brain that makes the decisions! This feels like a revelation! Now I know that there aren't any physical cravings going on.. I have emotional support and loving friends and family.. and my mind is in the right space a lot of the time. Trusting in the process, moving forward one step at a time, dealing with the obstacles, asking for support..
Thank you all for helping me..:love:
Big, fat hugs..xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, I am so happy that things are going so well for you. Building those new pathways in the brain really works, they get stronger and stronger. Pretty soon the old AL pathways will be overgrown from no use and you will barely know they are there.
Kensho, that is SO good! Isn’t it nice to not even think of AL? How amazing.

Lav, it’s freezing here, -13C or so, it’s allright though, this winter has been very mild.
Byrdie, you lack self confidence? You are such an amazing woman, and an inspiration to all of us. Lack of self confidence doesn’t seem like you. I believe you can do anything you put your mind to.

My interview went well today. Hopefully I get an offer,, we will see.

Have a good one.
Xo

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings to all!

That time period when you get off of work tends to be a craving time, LC. I’ve heard that 3-5pm time be called the “corti-zone”, because cortisol spikes then and there’s a dip in mood and cravings set in. Maybe that’s why some cultures have developed tea times and snack breaks then.
That’s great that you gave yourself what you really craved -sleep - instead of alcohol. And you still touched base with your daughter before your nap, so no worries there.

Kensho, cool that booze doesn’t even come to mind anymore to solve a niggling craving...although bugs do? Crickets? I thought of you when Narilly was describing her husband getting really drunk, since yours does that sometimes too. I have to hand it to mine, as much as he loves drinking culture, he stays in control, and doesn’t even drink as much as the other men around him. A perfect normie.

My husband took me out for a celebratory dinner last night to a nice restaurant, with a gift card he had gotten for Christmas, and he ordered a Sprite to go with his steak dinner! He loves to have wine with a nice meal! Not necessary for him to do that, but a nice gesture all the same. I’m glad I have gotten to the point where it is fine to just have water with dinner.

Wags, that is really something that that guy managed to be a hit-and-run driver in a situation where it was almost impossible to be one, since your vehicles were locked together! Then he jostled you around all the more. Yes, a car accident like you & Jane have had is very traumatic.

Pauly, sounds like you & G are honing your skills at recognizing the signs of a potential impending relapse before it happens.

Good news that your doggie is feeling better, Ava.
That’s a cute story about your grandson, NS, and so true that they do mimic us.
We are getting lots of rain here too; wish it would spread out more evenly and give California some too!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, I just want to give you a big hug :hug:. This part isn’t easy. It can feel uncertain, uneven, uncomfortable, in-between. Trust me - things will even out and a whole new you will be born.

Slo - yes crickets are the new thing! HAHA! I meant crackers. Darn autocorrect!!! That’s funny. And booze DOES come to mind at times still - just not as often and it doesn’t usually feel like the answer to a physical craving. Interesting about “corti-zone”. Really cool that your hubs ordered a sprite; supportive. That makes me happy for you.

Wags and JANE, shout out for what you’ve survived. You’re strong ladies.

Byrdie, all I see in your posts is a strong, self-assured, kick ass lady - and I now know that it’s topped off with a southern accent. Wham. I sure wouldn’t want to be your hag admin lady with you on the other end!

Nar, sending good thoughts for the job!

Headed to the city today. Trying to be pleasant about 6am wake-ups… it’s just unnatural and should be banned. Someday. Happy day to all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:
[MENTION=16568]jane27[/MENTION] - that post was REAL for me. I did that same thing - I never TRIED to quit, so I never "failed." I had horrible mornings (yes, vodka with wine on the side as well), but the regret was not from breaking a promise to quit. I really appreciate the way you wrote that, and I, too, believe it belongs in the Tool Box. Since we who post here every day argue that we do so to keep sober, I am wondering if you would share what tools you use that aren't MWO. Do you have a sober community or sober friends? Your list of people you thanked made me wonder how they are all doing.

Slo - very cool about that dinner with your husband. I am so glad he's supporting you.

Nar, good luck with that job!

I was used to eating some sort of sweet after lunch and dinner for the whole break and even before. Yesterday was my first no sugar day. It was crazy how my body craved a sugar fix after dinner. I resisted, and sure enough, the craving ended. Amazing what you can train your brain to expect.

Happy Tuesday - keep it sober.

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Byrdie you sound and look like a very confident woman,I was surprised to read that! LC,the afternoon is my worst time,my friend on another thread said the serotonin in our brain dips during that time,probably true cuz I get sorts sad and tired around then and these cloudy Vegas days don't help,feels like Seattle lately haha,Narilly,hope the job goes good that would be great ugh I whined about wanting to get back to a full workweek now here it is and it sux! Oh well,wishes for a happy AF day!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho and Slo - Haha... I paused briefly when I read "crickets" but then just thought some people have different snack tastes and moved right along like it made perfect sense!

Jane - so good to see you, and sorry for our sisterhood around car accidents and injuries I know surgery doesn't sound fun, but if that is your path I sure hope it brings you some (great) relief.

Byrdie - you certainly seem confident, and maybe that's because we know you here - in the arena where we know all too well what maintaining a quit requires. Yes, if you can do this, you can do anything! Regardless, kudos to you on your lengthy quit AND on the "new you" you've developed over those years.


Welp, I have a badly needed day off today and I actually "slept in" until almost 7am. I forgot to mention yesterday, but two nights ago I had a drinking dream and the only thing I remember is the distinct and awful feeling of disappointment that I'd just ended a 2.5 year quit. I really felt remorse when I woke up yesterday, and honestly that was helpful because I never want to deserve that feeling again. I don't like drinking dreams but I do think they reinforce my resolve and strengthen my quit every time they happen.

Happy days and eves to everyone stopping by the nest!

[jane27]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks to everyone for the congrats and kind words. Extra thanks to you Pav for asking a question that inspired me to reflect.

A factor I didn’t think to include in my post yesterday is that the cornerstone of making my quit stick was making changes to create a life I found worth being sober for. Although I fell flat after the 50 days sober in 2012, immediately after that everything I did was with an eye towards reshaping my life my because I really wasn’t happy with some big stuff - My job was stressful and eating away at me, home ownership bills & maintenance angst had elbowed out the initial joy of buying the house. What started out as a little bit of magic to make things feel ok turned into a all consuming “bottle first” nightmare.

In terms of a sober community, when I quit drinking with the help of you guys I learned to identify the people, places and things that were triggers (lunch with my Dad was day 51 of the first stint). My husband never cared much about drinking and gave it up all together when I did. The few times a year that we host a family party, we don’t supply booze. If someone wants to bring something I won’t object, but I’ve never seen more than a bottle of wine brought my my sister in law, no ones gotten drunk, and I’ve never seen a bottle laying around. That’s a big help. It’s also helpful and I’m extremely appreciative that my in-laws, step sons,- basically my husbands family is who we hang out with-they all know I don’t drink now (and they knew me when I did) and they don’t make a big deal about it- at the same time I can sense that they get it and respect me for my decision. That makes me feel really good. Like most former drinkers before every event I’ll feel like “ come on, shouldn’t we get some wine or beer?” And my husband quietly says, “Nope, we don’t need to. We don’t have alcohol here, they can bring it if they want to”. I’m so happy he gets it now, and isn’t fooled by the-devil-in-me suggestions. My oldest step son drinks- bourbon or whiskey in fancy glasses in his room from time to time. He’s 23, it’s his decision and with regard to my own temptation, there is none. It’s not a situation where there are bottles and bottles.... (and I watch the kid like a hawk. Poor kid can’t get away with ANYTHING with me around).

As for other resources, injuries stemming from the accident still have me in therapies. Just finished up several months of cognitive and vestibular therapy, now will have the neck surgery coming up, then the PT after that. It’s been like this since June of 2016, so I guess for 2 1/2 years of the 5, my sober community has been comprised of various health professionals that have been doing even more for me that they realize. I’ll take it.

I’m not in close contact with any of the people I thanked, but they are all still accessible to me and I know if I reached out they’d be there and also nice versa. I still have the Bubble Room on my phones iPod cast list. I’ll listen occasionally. That is good stuff!

Switching subjects, I was thinking yesterday about some of the embarrassing fights I picked with my closest allies on MWO. Jesus! Thank God you all forgave me!

Kensho, more about the crickets please!

Wishing you all a great day

[Feebee]

Re: Newbies Nest

I am enjoying being free from the effects of alcohol. You know what I'm talking about. So many things to do that are fun, but no fun if the nagging state of confusion and dizziness prevail.
Should call me Freebee.
I'm FREE
Feebs

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jane, another great post. All I feel is PRIDE for you. You have come such a long way and we all know hitting that 5 year mark carries quite a bit of validation with it. Are we off the hook? Certainly not, but the odds are finally in our favor. I spotted you for a winner the minute you posted way back then. You had a fighting spirit and it has served you well. As one of your biggest fans, I hope you will stick around and let us know how your therapy and surgery goes.

It's hard to believe that you all think I'm confident! That is funny to me. No, I am actually shy and I don't know how I ended up in SALES. I feel if I have learned something (usually THE HARD WAY) and can help someone else avoid problems, it's my duty to do it. When it comes to AL I TRIED EVERYTHING to make it work. Everything. So maybe on this one subject I have a knowledge base from which to draw. I appreciate the very kind words.

Glad to have this day behind me. Stay strong evabody! Tomorrow is hump day already! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We ended up with a mix of sun & clouds today, no precipitation, nice. Apparently Sunday may be a sn*w day, haha!!

Jane, 2 1/2 years is a long time to be dealing with injuries. I hope this year brings you much comfort & healing.

Does anyone know if crickets taste salty? I love a crunchy & salty snack myself LOL
Hello to everyone in the nest 7 wishing a safe night for all!

Lav