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**neurogenic** · February 3, 2009, 03:33 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Hi Witchy,

Tough one that. I have not done as much AF as you, 3 weeks Dec and 2 weeks Jan, I came to the decision that I did not want to give up completely. I am making huge changes to my life, figuring out why I did drink as much as I did. I also realised that i wasnt enjoying it. These are the following rules I have set myself...like you i dont know if it will work for me, but am here any time.

1st thing 1st, I will never be drunk again
2nd. alcohol can only be drunk if in a positive setting....not as result of a "long day" "shitty day" "im alone" etc. For me, to celebrate something with friends, it was my brithday last weekend so had a couple, going out to dinner with friends etc. But I need to enjoy it (before it never had any time on my tastebuds). I have noticed that I am savouring it now, tasting it and when I drink always much slower than before. All that said, I have to be in control...never was before.
3. Some of my other rules, no drinking at home alone (this is a serious one for me) also like you I need school nights off, and this is best done in the company of others even if they want a glass. It is not mod for me if i always say yes. So I need to put myself (comfortably) in positions wher I do say no. Otherwise it is not worth it. I need to remember those wonderful days in a row, when I had no fuzzy head, my skin looked good and I felt great.
Well, it feels good to see some of my rules on paper, hope they are of some help. PM me anyt ime if you want, Im in Singapore so not a millions miles away from your timezone.

Put your mind to this, I believe it can be done by some people if they are both lucky and excercise control. In my case, I need to break bad habits. I just found an ounce of will power that was burried deep in my persona, so Im trying to put it to good use.

**johnnyh** · February 3, 2009, 03:33 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Hey Witchy,

I hope that works out for you. It sounds dangerous to me to be honest. If you are able to pull the brake that's fine but the danger that you might just think you are coping and continue drinking?

Look it's your decision in the end but you already said that you know you cannot moderate. So why try?

**witchywoman** · February 3, 2009, 03:47 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Neuro....., thanks for your support & kind words, I really just want to get the idea of being able to Mod out of my head,
Johhny....., I know what you are getting at, I know it sounds like an excuse, but the idea that I could possibly moderate is starting to drive me crazy bog time, I want to be able to say "I tried but its doesnt work for me", so I can be completly AF & have that as a certainty in my life, the thing is I want to be completly AF, so that is why i am doing this now, to get it out of the way, I hope that makes sense, I have so many more things i want to do in my life, than be thinking about Al, Thank you so much for you support & opinion, I value that as someone who is pretty much at the same point as me, you must be close to your 60 days now, yay for you.

**johnnyh** · February 3, 2009, 04:10 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Hey Witchy. I really do understand what you are saying. Just keep strong and like you said, rather pull the brake sooner that later once you start realising it doesn't really work. Rather not wait for the whole month to end. (even though it is the shortest month of the year

)

Keep up the good work witchy. You'll beat this thing, one way or another

**upnorthgirl** · February 3, 2009, 06:17 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Good luck with that...we will be here for yu.

**dill** · February 3, 2009, 07:17 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Witchy, I say it's your personal journey, so you need to do what you need to do and learn from it. We'll be there for you. Keep us posted as to how it goes. Best wishes.

**aprilmoon** · February 3, 2009, 07:41 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Witchy,

I'm not here to judge, just to give you my personal reason for not modding. I can do well without AL. I know for me moderation is not an option. I don't just want one drink or 2 drinks. I see no reason for 1 or 2. I binge......I have to get drunk. Knowing that.....I know me and how I can't do moderation.

I hope your journey leads you to where you want to be in your life. Best Wishes.

**healthypaw** · February 3, 2009, 09:32 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

I would like to get some data on moderation I know I failed big time before just admitting I was an alcoholic. Seems to me that moderation eventually lead back to old habits. For those people who can do it-- I HATE YOU

As I told my wife I wish I could drink four times a year-- superbowl, my birthday, nfl draft party and halloween. I know sounds stupid. I am on day 11, even though I can't wait for the day where I stop counting. I wish all of you well

**sdlovespackers** · February 3, 2009, 10:20 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Hey WW-
Seriously--I say to each their own...whatever works best for you...maybe people are right, maybe moderating doesn't work (for them)...I think if you want to try and see for yourself, you need to do it. I know I'm the same way...once I see it and I know it, something seems to stick or change in my mind. I have decided to mod as well. It has been a week and I have not had more than two beers on any one night...which is a HUGE HUGE difference for me...did I mention HUGE!?!?! I feel great...but the thought is creeping in my head...why the one or two??? What's it doing for ya?? But it's me coming to that realization..no one telling me (yeah I have control issues)...but that's the way I work I guess. I really have set "rules" for myself and am sticking to them...and so far it has been just great...better then great!! Good luck!!!

**cyclefan** · February 3, 2009, 10:37 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

For those people who are serious about moderating or trying to moderate their alcohol intake I'd like to suggest spending some time reviewing the Monthly Moderation and Long Term Moderation threads on this board. You will likely glean some good insights there from people who have tried and succeeded, and people who have tried and failed. For some people moderation is much more difficult that abstention and not worth it; others are successful and enjoy it.

Best wishes Witchy Woman. If you have questions or concerns I'll bet one of the active modders can help you out.

**irish eyes** · February 3, 2009, 10:43 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Hey Witchy
Know where u are coming from. I think I am somewhere in the same space. Day 34 AF for me and big time argument with myself perhaps should try and mod and see if I can do it. But the reality is I dont think I will be able to do it and then what back to square one and maybe much more difficult this time. Like when I gave up cigarettes for seven years then when I went back on them took me another 4 before I could contemplate giving up again. Dont think I can or ought to take that risk but that is just me speaking out loud trying to make sense of what I want. Good Luck with whatever u decide.
Luv :l

**matthen** · February 3, 2009, 10:58 AM

Februar = Moderating phase

Hey Witchy and others -- I went through years of debate with myself trying to prove that I could or could not moderate. In fact throughout most of those years the evidence all pointed to the fact that I could not moderate. I understand that we each have to figure this out for ourselves. Just don't waste as much time as I did doing it. Good luck.

**WannaBFree** · February 3, 2009, 12:01 PM

Februar = Moderating phase

Hi Witchy,
I 100% now where you are coming from this is my inner battle too. I also feel that I need to know for sure that I cannot mod and then I will be able to fully commit myself to a AF life ( maybe even with a smile ? ). I have though, if I look back have been trying to moderate for over ten years and Hmmmm well lets just say that I have woken up feeling ashamed and depressed far more often than got away with those 2-3 good girl drinks. I guess what I am trying to saying is that will another ten years pass us by before it really clicks and we can get on with the full glorious potential our lives have to offer!? I bloody hope not.
Why not just take 1 year out of our lives ( not long when put into perspective ) and take the challenge to say ' Yes' to all postitive opportunities that come our way instead of hiding behind the bottle. Then at the end of this time if our life is truly no better than welcome the poison back into our lives. What have we got to lose.
Feel the fear..do it anyway.
Sez:h

**polaryzed** · February 3, 2009, 06:12 PM

Februar = Moderating phase

Progress not perfection - Yep

:new: I am 7 days old with MWO. I totally relate to your thread because I'm trying to determine the same thing.

Recently, I started a log for each day I have wine. I started the Log on Jan. 28 '09 and to date, I have noticed a decrease of intake which really suprised me. I keep busy with various things including being in here MWO.

My personal Log is in a spreadsheet form (that I created in Excel), so it can calculate for me. It includes things like 'date, amount, total for each evening (day if applicable but not so far Yippee), time frame I drink, and any comments necessary.

I was drinking wine while making supper up until Jan. 26 '09.
Now then, this may sound crazy but at 5:00pm instead of wine, I mix diet Pepsi with Cranberry juice (better than diet coke). Also, thru the day if I crave AL, I substituted Ice Tea with Apple juice or just Ice T. keeping myself busy reading threads while sipping my Ice T. And in this one short week I do Not crave AL near as much as I had.

I guess it's about substitution in some cases. We'll know more later. Oh yes, and I find learning new things really keeps the mind occuppied.

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