Operation October - week one

[redhibiscus]

Operation October - week one

Thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts on anxiety. It seems like we all experience worry and anxiousness and have different ways to cope with stress. In the past our main way to deal with anxiety was to drink and drink alot. Ladybirdh, it did help till the middle of the night and then holy he** broke loose. The anxiety at that dark hour is unbelieveably powerful. Going to work helped me as I had less time to focus on myself and I truly love my work. My difficult coworker was off, so I had a successful go of it all day. What a relief!

I agree Dill and Lav that I have to work on my attitude, and thoughts. I love Norman Vincent Peale and believe that he is right - what we give out we get back. If we are positive we will attract that back to us. I am not saying that nothing negative will ever happen, just that it is more likely that we will have more good things occur if we are positive.

Resentment...hmmmm. I thought about my resentments and have to focus on changing those thoughts to something more constructive. Gratitude and being positive. Good ideas. Thanks and have a great AF day.

[dill]

Operation October - week one

Good morning friends!

Thank you Lav and LBH for your thoughtful and honest responses. Lav, no, I am NOT sorry I asked! Reading your responses gave me time to reflect and take some stock in myself and my own attitudes. I feel like I understand your situation a little more now and I wish I could suggest something to help you find relief from the "resentment demon" It sounds like you are finding the tools working it out for yourself, though. As you know, we have your back! Remember, too, what matters is the present.

LBH, your statement about the pets and the "waxing and waning" hit home, as that is where I am these days. All my pets are elderly and are dropping off one by one. I have little desire at this time to take on a new one, and I also measure my time left on this earth now in pet years: Do I have another dog life span or cat life span left in me. Also, do I have the emotional reserves to withstand another loss of this nature? Well, at 57, I hope I have at least another quarter century left, and I am not sure how I would "do" without a pet in my life. They bring such joy. So, that's where I am with that. As far as resentment: I do resent the situation I am in with alc, not because it's me and not others, but just because it is such a complete struggle and I have no way out other than going through it. I too resent situations and outcomes that I feel I have no control over, but should have been able to do something. I'm not sure, but I believe that is just human nature. You are abundantly human, my friend!

Red, that early morning anxiety was awful! I don't have it unless I am drinking. Oh, but it is a very fresh memory. ...Lying in bed, waiting for the dawn so you can push forward and lose yourself in the activities of the day. I too love my work, and it has been therapeutic for me. The longer one goes without drinking, the more the anxiety abates. At least, that's been my experience.

Sooty, what on earth is Olbas oil? I have never heard of it. It is something you use in an engine? Me thinks not. You wouldn't intentionally sprinkle engine oil on your jumper. Would you?:H

Well, Anyone else out there want to get some resentments out?! Here's the place!

Time to get on with my 3D life.

[sooty]

Operation October - week one

Dill you have never heard of Olbas Oil? You have never lived!!! Its a eucalyptus/menthol product - you can use it in hot water and inhale it or sniff it from a tissue - you must have the equivalent over there with you. Its very powerful stuff.
I just looked at the bottle and its made in the UK - mine is out of date - march 08 but its still pretty effective I can tell you! Mr Sooty reckons its making him sneeze and that he can smell it all over the house!
Anyway I have been disgracefully lazy so far today so feel that I should get myself moving - if only to go and make some lunch .... then I can sit down again!!!
Have a good tuesday everyone - no resentments today gang - lets be glad we're here and still fighting.
See you later
Sooty

[Lavande]

Operation October - week one

Good morning October friends!

I am glad I'm here with friends Sooty, truly

Sooty, over here we have this menthol gunk in a jar that you're supposed to rub on your chest to help relieve cold symptoms. It's ok to use if you're a kid but adults definitely don't want to use that stuff!!! I prefer to just suffer through a cold naturally, ha ha!

Dill, I'm trying very hard to make each day a good one for ME! Whenever past resentments surface, I just have to put them back where they belong - in the past. That's why I get so much enjoyment spending time with my grandson. He has nothing to do with the past & everything to do with the present! If I ever need help fighting my resentment demon I know I can come here for support, that's why I love you guys so much

LBH, I've never really wanted to live long enough to be considered an old lady but..........now that I have the grandchild I want to stick around for a while, see how he turns out

red, your anxiety level will continue to improve, honestly! I'm taking some herbal supplements that have helped me out a whole lot as well!

Well, I'm wishing a good day for each & everyone of us - we deserve it
Lav

[lilmea]

Operation October - week one

Sooty-I've never heard of Olbas Oil either. But from your description, it sounds a lot like our Vicks Vapor Rub. The smell always brings thoughts of childhood as my Mom use to rub it on my chest when I was a child and had a cold.

Dill-How is your project-Big Boat-going? Do you have it in a place your HB can work on all winter? I think it was cute when your grandson wanted to know where the water was.

LHB-"waxing and waning"-I love the way you describe things. You should have been a writer.

Red-You're sounding strong and positive today. Just keep on keeping on.

Lav-Do you have your grandson every day? I don't have any grandkids yet and even if I did, my girls live so far away, I wouldn't get to see them very often. (sigh)

Today has started out rather chilly although there was a beautiful sunrise. I'm hoping it will warm up enough for me to get outside a little later on. Has everyone gotten their gardens but to bed for the winter? All I have left is to shut down my pond and tuck my fishies in for their winter nap.

I'll "talk" to everyone later. Have a great day. On ward and Up ward!

[Peanut]

Operation October - week one

Hi gang – it’s been a while since I’ve dropped in here, and i have really, really, really enjoyed reading all your posts. Such good food for thought!!! Issues with anxiety and issues with resentment – they are pretty big with me too. I do tend to feel resentment – especially at night when I deny myself wine. It is an attitude though. Because I feel like I am denying myself something that I want, I feel alot of resentment that I got myself into this situation in the first place. More pissed off than anything! But really, i was cruising the internet last night looking for info on Zoloft and alcoholism (to see if there was any evidence that one helps with the other) and my BF looks at me and asks “do you want to drink??” and I said NO. He even offered to go buy me some wine, to which I said NO, again. So if I don’t want to, then don’t. Attitude is paramount me thinks. He thinks I have a strong will, and in most things I do, but for some reason, this one seems to beat me!!

My doctor prescribed Zoloft last week, as I do have strong OCD tendencies and have been suffering some anxiety (can’t highway drive any more)– but I think these things are being made worse or may even be caused by drinking!!! When I stop drinking, those things recede. So I really don’t think I need Zoloft and I don’t think I am going to take it. I keep thinking I need more inner strength, but also feel like I am sick, ill..... I have been feeling unwell lately, especially the last couple days, probably because i didn’t succeed in staying AF on the weekend, but drank too much on Saturday at our party after the run. Maybe I am a little bit sick with some bug, as I have had an endless headache, and am sleepy today as I refused to turn to sleep meds last night and no wine to make me pass out, but I certainly feel better than I did yesterday and actually have a bit more colour in my face.

This is definitely a One Day at a Time thing for me right now.
I really enjoy the openness on this thread and learning about all your lives and struggles. Makes me feel that none of us are alone in our situations, from marriage issues (I DID divorce!!!), to pets and colds (and AL!!!!) and lovely things like gardens and beautiful fall weather!!
I’ll be back!!
xoxo peanut

[Lavande]

Operation October - week one

Hi Pnut,

Good to see you
I think today ended up being Unofficial Bare Your Soul Day!!!!

I just wanted to mention (as I have many times before) if you decide to not take the Zoloft, or any other SSRI for that matter, take a look at the herbal supplement I've been on since January.
AMORYN Mood Booster | Natural Antidepressant | Supplement for Depression & Anxiety
My anxiety/depression are gone - history! No kidding!
I was also so anxious that I had a hard time driving myself to the local supermarket let alone getting on the highway. I had absolute panic attacks, had to pull over to the side of the road & just wait it out.............that was aweful! Today I am calm, relaxed, happy, am sleeping and, best of all, I AM AF!
Now, I do still have longstanding spousal difficulties but he's another whole issue

None of us are alone Pnut, that's true, we have each other & I am very grateful
I hope you feel better very soon, take good care of yourself!
PM me if you want any more info about the Amoryn.

Hi Lil! My grandson only lives about 8 miles down the road, nice
He comes over every Mon & Wed afternoon right now because both of his parents are taking classes. I take him any time I can, really. He's a joy and my primary reason to stay happy & AF

Keep up the good work everyone!
Lav

[Peanut]

Operation October - week one

Thanks Lavande - I think I will look into that AMORYN. Seems to have been such a good thing for you. And, I could use all the help I can get when it comes to this highway anxiety! I can hardly bear to go about 60mph and passing those big semi's is nearly impossible!!! Such a weird feeling! And I am planning on driving to Calgary on friday to see my daughter and am dreading it. BF will have to do most of the driving I'm sure!

I agree - it does seem to be Bare Your Soul Day today!!!
xoxo peanut

[lilmea]

Operation October - week one

Pnut, Lav-I haven't been able to drive on the interstate for over 2 years now. I knew it had become a phobia with me but thought I was the only one with the problem. Lav, I've been taking sameE and although it has helped me some it hasn't helped with the driving. I'm going to look into the Amoryn.

Yes, I guess it is a bare your soul day!

[ladybirdheart]

Operation October - week one

Afternoon check-in today and so good to hear from you, Pea. Had a wonderful lunch out with a friend who was passing through, wine was flowing at the other tables but we fared far better with some of the best brewed ice tea I have ever had, a very dark and smoky flavor. We left with restored energy while some of the other folks looked done in and glassy. I am meeting with my house sitter in a bit in preparation for our upcoming trip; much to do in the next couple of days but all of it easily broken down into manageable tasks. Since it is a hot topic today, I am awaiting my Amoryn which UPS says is getting very close, and with it will be two other products from the same company, one specifically for sleep and another for acute anxiety or panic attacks rather than more chronic anxiety and dysphoria. I should be one mellow birdie. On another topic, I am with you, Dill, I shall probably always adopt one little critter buddy of some species or another and make sure he or she has money and long term care in the case of my absence or death; I have had that as part of my Will since I was in my early twenties as I have no immediate family. I can?t tell my enormous orange cat as he would probably do me in with the hopes of getting off his weight loss plan. I?ll stop by and say goodnight. Love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

Operation October - week one

Pnut, Lil & LBH,

And all of the others that have listened to my Amoryn preachings..................
I really, really, really hope you guys get the relief I did with that product

I like it because it's natural, causes absolutely no bad side effects whatsoever and I don't feel medicated - just normal!! What more could you ask for? Be sure to give it a bit of time for the full effect to kick in but I can honestly say I felt a difference in just a couple of days.
Now, I need to get a job with that company since I've been such a good sales rep for them - just kidding

LBH, glad you enjoyed you luncheon today! My 25 year old cockatiel is looking as strong as ever. I keep telling my kids to make room in their homes for his cage, he may very well outlive us.

Pnut, enjoy your visit with your daughter, that's nice! Let your BF do the driving. I'm much calmer these days but still don't enjoy the high speed interstate driving.........the trucks freak me out too

We will all be OK
Lav

[dill]

Operation October - week one

I have really enjoyed the comraderie and support on this thread today and just want to thank each and everyone that posts here. I'm trying to decide if I need to look into Amoryn. The thing is, I don't think I have a problem with anxiety EXCEPT WHEN I AM DRINKING! Or during periods of extreme stress. So, I guess I shall pass, for now. Unless the amoryn helps with cravings. But what actually ARE cravings? I don't know at this point if they are physical, emotional or just plain habit induced! Sigh.

I wish each and every one of you a good and peaceful evening.:h

[Pamina]

Operation October - week one

Evening all. What interesting posts from the last couple of days. I'm in a strange mood where I know something is brewing but it's not yet ready to be articulated. I've been trying to explain what's going on with me to various people here with various degrees of success. The funeral I'm not attending is happening in a few days. I can put one foot in front of the other but I can't seem to settle. I have a feeling this grief will spill out soon, whether I want it to or not. Tomorrow is an important day at work, and I need to keep my head together. I'll try to return to Planet Earth soon, I promise.

[redhibiscus]

Operation October - week one

Just an evening check in. I am also enjoying the thoughful posts and the great topics. I am going to look for the Amoryn at my local health store. It is worth a shot. I don't get anxious about driving, but about family stuff and money issues. One of my kids struggles and I have a hard time dealing with it and always have. It is very helpful to discuss it with all of you, so thanks.

Work was good, and for some weird reason I thought of drinking wine on the way home! What the heck is wrong with me? I told myself that I would get home and eat dinner. I did and the craving left. It was definitely psychological and a habitual thought. Luckily, I was strong tonight and thought things through. I am celebrating my success. I was close to blowing it. Sometime my cravings are so strong they are acutally physical and I feel them in my gut. Does anyone else? It is scary how out of the blue and quickly cravings can come on you.

Something funny happened to me tonight. I called the roofing guy and asked when he was going to put the gutter guards on our house. He called me back and said they'd been on for a week. I started laughing, went outside and saw them. And I wasn't even drinking.:H

[FindingMyself]

Operation October - week one

Just wanted to say hi and hope everyone had a good day.

Red, actually, I did have quite strong cravings today on my way home too. I think it was just a long day and I was tired, maybe my defenses were down. I also came home and ate and took an L-glut pill. Imagine the food helped as much as anything, but whatever works. I haven't had stomach pains, just get a mini hot flash! I am much more wary of the psychological pit falls of staying away from drinking right now - they are so tricky.

That's funny about the gutter guards!

Feeling tired tonight so good night everyone.