HI! My First Day Here!

[Michelle415]

:new:
Hi all. My first day here. I wanted to say hello and introduce myself. I come from a family of alcoholics, married to a high achieving alcoholic and I, myself am an alcoholic. Trying to get sober in the midst of all this insanity is...well...insane. but, I'm going to give it my best shot. I have a teenage daughter and I'd like her to admire me. I'd like to admire myself. I'll take any advice, words of wisdom, reprimands, you name it. I'm just glad to have found this community. My birthday is this month, so this is the gift I am giving myself. I need to know that I don't have to drink to celebrate, or to be around my family for Thanksgiving. I can do this!

[ronaldolover]

HI! My First Day Here!

Welcome!!! I am a returning member....I kind of gave up on being AF for a while. All I can tell you is to continue to post threads and let us know if you need support. I am on day one of being AF.....and hope that it lasts more than only 2 days!! Good luck on your journey! :welcome:

[Cathy40]

HI! My First Day Here!

welcome michelle and welcome back ronaldolover. stick around....read, post, join chat...do whatever it takes...but it can be done! and its a lot easier to do it with the support you get here. easier, not easy. but certainly do able!

[JackieClaire]

HI! My First Day Here!

:welcome: Michelle

what a lovely idea to give yourself the gift of sobriety.

settle in,make yourself comfortable,read around the posts. SHOUT if you're struggling.

keep coming back and please let us know how you're getting on.

Love Jackie xxx

:l

[mario]

HI! My First Day Here!

just like to say :welcome:,your with a great community here,hope you stick around:goodjob:

[Lavande]

HI! My First Day Here!

Hi Michelle,

Welcome to MWO, this is a great place!
The MWO is available in the Health Store - you can download it and read it right away.
Please feel free to join us on the 'Newbies Nest' thread for loads of support!

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Michelle415]

HI! My First Day Here!

Thanks and trying to get through my first night....

I'm cooking tonight, I do most nights. My routine is: I buy a bottle of wine along with the groceries, telling myself it's to go into the food while I cook, I pop it open as soon as the groceries are on the counter and I've polished it off half way through cooking dinner, that means opening a second one for the dinner table. I've been hiding extra bottles under the sink to top off the ones I'm drinking from, which is insane because me husband is a bigger alcoholic than I am, so who am I fooling.

Anyway, I stopped myself from buying a bottle just now, but I have liquor in my liquor cabinet. I'm determined not to go to it though. I want to go this whole month AF, and I know I can. I just need to vent right now and say it's hard and it will be harder once my high achieving alcoholic husband gets home and pushes my buttons and pours himself a gin & tonic. I'll want to tell him how unhappy I am and wont have the wine to wash the words away. I'll just have to be strong and know that I can maintain my composure without alcohol. I'm in no mental state to take on the "I want a divorce" conversation.

I go to my new therapist Thursday and will hopefully be put on some sort of meds for depression and ADHD. I can't frickin wait. I know the wine is me self medicating. I can't wait to get a real grasp on just what's leading me to abuse my body and my mind and stay in such an unhappy marriage. I can't wait to bet back in control.

Knowing this community is here really helps.

[daddynotcool]

HI! My First Day Here!

hi i read ur post... its nice u have decided to stop alcohol...its not easy to change ur better half if he is in no mood to change...this is a transition process..it takes time....so be patient...u can do it...

[lodestar]

HI! My First Day Here!

Hi Michelle,

Nice meeting you in chat! Be kind to yourself and hope to see you around. I have topped off and hidden under the sink, and I live alone! How wacky is that? Ah well, the past is the past and shame no more.

Good luck on your quest!

~Lode

[Boss.man]

HI! My First Day Here!

Welcome Michelle!

I'd suggest some caution on the meds. We all want meds to fix things But in my own experience, I find they usually make them worse. Alcohol by itself GIVES you depression. When the buzz is gone, your mood will be lower than before. Constant "self medication" will trash your baseline moods. If this is the root of your problem, as it was for mine, then adding pills will not help as much as deleting the juice.

Thanksgiving reminds me of a story. Last year I was being AF for Thanksgiving. None of my family knew that. I stocked the house with lots of bottles; sparkling apple, sparkling pear, sparklink blueberry, pomegranite and more. So I was drinking a tumbler with sparkling pear juice in it at like 11 am. My Mom comes over and whispers "Can I have what you are having?" I can't imagine my Mom thinks I drink whiskey or cocktails at 11 am on Thanksgiving. What kind of mother is that? Probably the same one whispers that she wants some... Anyway, I love my mother and I poured her a nice glass of sparkling pear. It was very funny.

I slipped a few times since last Thanksgiving and Christmas. But have been stable since early May. My moods still seem brighter week by week, even after all this time. Good luck to you and welcome.

[Lavande]

HI! My First Day Here!

Michelle,

What Boss.man says is true - we would all love a magic bullet to fix our problems.
It's true AL does depress you. In my case I was depressed long before I started to drink. When I finally got on an antidepressant & continued to drink - everything got much worse. I straightened things out on my own by dumping the SSRI and starting a good herbal supplement then quit drinking.
We all have to find our own way - what works best for you!
PM me if you want more information, OK?

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Doggygirl]

HI! My First Day Here!

Hi Michelle and :welcome:!!!

I can identify with all you said about the opening of the wine immediately (in the end I didn't even bother with coffee in the morning....). I can identify with having an open bottle of wine stashed somewhere for "topping off" in secret. I can also identify with the depression that in my case, was CAUSED by alcohol - no doubt about it.

Before I finally quit drinking, I was the pit of despair and really didn't see a reason to live any more. I hoarded any prescription pain killers and such as part of my suicide plan.

I'm glad that Boss.man cautioned about drugs for depression, etc. Today I can't GET enough of life some days - that depressed and suicidal person doesn't even seem like it was me. And all it took was getting AL out of my life. I am also convinced that the diet and exercise recommendations made in the My Way Out book make a difference too.

You might not need drugs. You definitely don't need AL. We'll see about the husband. (just kidding!)

Strength and hope to you. Hope to get to know you better.

DG