November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Yeah, today is Friday. I am so worried about work, that I am thinking about it and woke up today at 4 a.m., too early for anyone. I have come to view this site as a stress reliever and problem solver.

I think that in the past I would drink to handle my worries...creating more. But, in a way, drinking, then not sleeping, experiencing anxiety and physical symptoms, all took my attention away from my own personal life challenges. I mean, I was so focused on the drinking and recovering, it gave me something to do, a way of life, a focus. A way to deal with my feelings by not dealing with them, solving my problems by creating new ones. Now, I have to face what is bothering me and learn to trust. I guess that is where the spirituality is becoming important....trusting that there is a plan for me and that I will become aware of and follow that plan. Before my trust was in alcohol, now I need to learn to trust in God and in myself to find my Higher plan. Whew, see I think too much, especially at this too early hour.

My plans for this weekend are simple...taking care of my home, finances, working on my closet, exercising a bit, and eating very healthy. I have a great book I am reading and I should go to the library at some point. I also need to go grocery shopping and that includes planning my menu. I am going to start planning my Thanksgiving menu and picking up some odds and ends.

I love Thanksgiving - eating and enjoying your loved ones. No other worries. I wish Christmas was like that instead of all the pressure for gifts, gifts, gifts. Have a great day everyone, plan for your AF weekend if that is your plan, and take care.

[girl_from_oz]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

So I had a bit of a rollercoaster day today. This morning started out great, proud and happy about my achievements so far. In the last part of the day things went pear shaped and a few bad things happened at work. By the end of the day I was shaking and burst into tears at the idea of not being about to end the week and a bad day with a drink. Fortunately my workmate had already left for the day.

Decided I had to get home. The demons in my head were telling me it was ok to have a drink, no one will ever know and how good would an icy cold b&c taste? Then I thought of the navigators and realised, while it would be easy to go home via the pub or bottle shop, I'm no longer just letting myself down. I feel answerable to all of you now and would also be letting you down in some kind of way. This gave me the strength I needed to get on the bus straight home. Felt like everytime the bus had to stop it was in front of one of the many pubs I have to pass on my way home.

I was more than grateful to myself for consciously drinking the house dry last weekend, at least there were no longer any temptations around for me. Once home I felt calmer and more in control.

Was cooking dinner and a very random thing happened. My phone rang and it was a wrong number, BUT it was the local liquorland!!! What! Why? Another test? As if I don't have enough at the moment. Fortunately I was in a better frame of mind so wasn't tempted to ask if they did deliveries.

So now I sit here, with a grape juice and mineral water in hand (trying to trick my brain into thinking it's a red wine spritzer, though bourbon is my drink of choice I've yet to find anyone that sells bourbon flavoured cordial!) and have a chocolate self saucing pudding cooking. If I'm not drinking the calories I may as well treat myself and eat them, right? :H Much to be said for comfort eating over comfort drinking! Have just cleaned the house - sober...first time in a long time!

Red - thanks for your plan...I was brought up religiously but have kind of let if fall by the wayside. Have found myself thinking about it more lately and am going to put into practise your list of things to think about - thankyou!

Lil - hope the renos go quickly for you...

LBH - you sound like such a lovely and peaceful soul! I'm really touched to be part of your wall.

MM and 1more - we did it (me, only just)! By the time I wake up for day 6 you will have done it...go team!

Love and strength to all and thankyou for popping into my head today banish the demons :l

[dill]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

:welcome:changemeforever! So glad to have you aboard!

Red, what a thought provoking post! You have given me a fresh new way to look at my alcohol abuse cycle and to understand how I was sabotaging myself!

I think that in the past I would drink to handle my worries...creating more. But, in a way, drinking, then not sleeping, experiencing anxiety and physical symptoms, all took my attention away from my own personal life challenges. I mean, I was so focused on the drinking and recovering, it gave me something to do, a way of life, a focus. A way to deal with my feelings by not dealing with them, solving my problems by creating new ones My drinking was not so much for an avoidance of problems, but simply something I enjoyed and eventually simply needed. Yours is an apt description of how the drinking in and of itself was a problem and created problems for me! I am so happy those days are behind me. Hopefully, all of us. Now, I have to face what is bothering me and learn to trust. I guess that is where the spirituality is becoming important....trusting that there is a plan for me and that I will become aware of and follow that plan.

This is similar to my challenge. I come at it differently though, in that I see my task as accepting and in some cases, surrendering. That is to say, that instead of resisting and avoiding a situation, I now try to accept situations, deal with them, meaning make appropriate changes if I can, or surrendering, meaning, purely accepting what is if I am unable to change it. I guess basically the Serenity Prayer is what I try to live. I have never been one to think 'there is a plan for me'. Perhaps there is, but that is just not a way of thought that I entertain.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine, be done.

Lady Bird Heart, I hope you choose a special rock to represent yourself from the available supply. I truly appreciate your thought and care in choosing mine and Lil's! They sound perfect! Your rock should be very strong but with interesting nooks and crannies and veins of color or sparkles! It must have an elegance. I have read that amethyst is supposed to signify sobriety. Perhaps you could find some rough pieces somewhere and place them in and about your wall?

Amethyst Gemstone meaning
Crystalline quartz in shades of purple, lilac or mauve is called amethyst, a stone traditionally worn to guard against drunkeness and to instill a sober mind. The word amethyst comes from the Greek meaning "without drunkenness" and amethyst is beleived to protect one from poison.

Power Stone
It is used as a dream stone and to help insomnia. Put an amethyst under your pillow to bring about pleasant dreams, or rub it across your forehead to offer relief from a headache.

Protection Stone
Ancient Egyptians used the amethyst guard against guilty and fearful feelings. It has been worn as protection from self-deception, as well as a protection against witchcraft. The amethyst has long been used to open the spiritual and psychic centers, making it one of the power stones. It is also used as a meditation aid when worn as a necklace.

Wisdom Stone
The amethyst is known as the Bishop's Stone and is still worn by Catholic Bishops. The amethyst symbolizes piety, humility, sincerity and spiritual wisdom. It is thought the amethyst is the perfect stone to symbolize The Age of Aquarius.

Lav, I'm glad your hen is starting to be rehabilitated. Perhaps there is hope for all!:H

MM, Good job on passing that dreaded day 4! You GO! It's hard to see where the target is when theres to much AL.>:H Yes, and it's even harder to hit it! Heck with al around, who even knows where they left the target!

1MC and GFO, you both are doing AWESOME! You are inspiring! 1MC, it is amazing how much more time for reflection and spirituality there is with alc pushed out of the way, isn't it?

Soots, I am glad you got your computer fixed so fast. I think it is so funny that we have come to a point where we absolutely MUST HAVE our own functioning laptops: can't even share with the spouse!:H

Lil, I hope you get past the dry wall dust without too much trouble. I am glad you are sober for this project. I was drinking through our kitchen remodelling a few years back and I am living with some poor choices as a result! The two choices are the countertop and the size and placement of drawers. Ah well. SIGH.

Hello, peace and strength to all who stop in today.

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Good moning Navigators!
Just a quick hello from me - I need to get straight to work this morning
This is a busy time of the year for me!

Wishing everyone a terrific Friday the 13th - lets all make it a good one

Lav

[mighty mouse]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

hello to everyone, Just a quick drop by, have a busy day. I am starting day 6 and it is friday...Tell the truth I'm on the fence. I'll try to think of LBHs wall instead 95% of me says no AL today Ii would like to get through a weekend...Tonight is going to be tough...but maybe I'm making that up to chicken out and it really wouldn't be.. ok I'm up for the challenge... I like competition

GFO, your sleeping now but when you awake I hope to have posted my evening as a success.

little shakeym mostly confident, MM

[ladybirdheart]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

I don?t have much time as I am in the middle of roughly cutting back an enormous shrub (the Japanese techniques to be slowly incorporated later) and have to move along while I have somebody helping me prune, saw, and take it to the recycling place. I did a smaller one by myself and help is heavenly. Speaking of help, dear Girl from Oz, knowing that the people here have my back has helped me also on those nights of lonely longing for something to calm down, unwind, turn off. Sometimes I am convinced that the only way I am going to get through this is by being in a coma from five-thirty until eight when I would have my scotch or martinis, but then I realize that is what I already did :H and now I get to be awake and don?t know what to do with myself. We shall get it. You are a keeper. Stay strong when the waves come, Ms. Mousie, you will be glad you did when you awaken. Thank you, thank you Dill for the suggestion and education regarding the amethyst. It is ideal! I know just where to buy one (remember my quest for the perfect fossil? I now have my rock people...). Off to saw. Sorry bush, it is scary but we all get to change for the better. Love, Ladybird.

[lodestar]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Happy Friday the 13th all! Today can be a good luck day, right?

MM - hang in there tonight! It is so worth it to wake up clear-minded on a Saturday. I've had two in a row and am looking forward to the third. WE CAN!

1MC - Going great guns! Good for you!

GFO - Terrific job on getting past a tough situation!

Red - I can relate to the work grouchies and stress that wakes you up in the wee hours of the morning. Hoping your Friday wasn't too bad.

Sooty - What kind of choir are you in and what part do you sing? Glad you're laptop troubles are over!

CMF - Congrats on day one and day two has arrived! How are you?

LBH - I think I posted on the wrong thread about your wall and loved your last part about the bush today! :H

Lil - hope the kitchen work is cleaning up nicely...dust is a daily fight in my house -- one I shall never win!

Greetings Dill, Lav, Cyn, Finding, Scrubbly, and all others I haven't mentioned but are in my thoughts.

I'm going out tonight for "happy hour" and dinner -- first time since not drinking. I've got a good plan in place, and I'm sure it will be interesting. Last resort, make an excuse and leave early but I'm hoping to get some face time with my dear friends who I have missed over the past two weeks.

Strength and peace!

[sooty]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Hi everyone, I'd forgotten about it being Friday 13th! Hope it hasn't been unlucky for any of us.
I've been busy doing bits and pieces today and haven't had chance to get on to post. I'm doing ok and send you all good wishes from the wettest and windiest corner of the uk.
I enjoyed my first night at choir - I'm not very good, found it all quite confusing, but we did laugh. Thankfully a very low key affair, expectations not high and that suits me!
I think I'm probably an alto Lode, certainly not a soprano!!
It was a new experience and I'm in favour of those.
I'll be back tomorrow gang, sorry this is brief.
Have a good rest of Friday
love Sooty

[Emmy]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Just wanted to wish everyone a Safe , happy weekend ! my mind is racing , I think I'm in need of a nice long nap ~ cya all later :l Em

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Welcome weekend.

Girlfromoz: Thanks so much for sharing your challenge and overcoming it. Sometimes, if we just go home and eat, the craving goes away. I am so happy for you....you are starting the weekend AF. I too immediately think of having a drink if I get upset or irritated. It is habit, it is easy, it ruins my life.

Dill, thanks for your comments about surrendering. As you can tell, I don't think of surrendering too much, so maybe that is an area I will begin to work on. I have always thought that we all have a purpose in life and it is our job or mission, to figure it out. I often get so frustrated and surrendering and accepting would be huge for me.

Have dinner waiting and ready for myself and my other half, later on plan to take a nice hot bath and sleep peacefully and wake up resfreshed and NOT HUNGOVER. Life is good.

[lilmea]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Just a quick fly bye this evening.

I've been busy all day and have had company all evening. I'll caught up with everyone in the morning. We're heading out for dinner. Everyone have a safe and peaceful evening. :l

[Lavande]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Good evening one & all,

Past 7:30 pm & I'm still inmy shop - busy, busy

Sounds like our crew is doing splendidly this month. Do you realize that Sunday is the middle of the month already???
Yikes, I have 2 birthdays & Thanksgiving to fit in before the month is over............dont even want to talk about next month yet, ha ha.

OK, back to work so I can finish up before bedtime, hopefully
Wishing everyone a great AF night.

Lav

[sdlovespackers]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Hi Everyone!!

Some of you may remember me from earlier this Spring/Summer, others I may have not yet met. I have been reading this thread, as it was started by my good friend Dill and KNEW there would be good, positive people on here...I was right!!! I loved reading all your posts!!!
I was on MWO so faithfully for so long (until about June) and then went back to my 'old ways'....I would check back and read and catch up with friends but never felt like I should post feeling pretty stupid sitting on the other side of the computer screen with a beer in my hand....but none the less...never stopped caring or wondering how everyone was.
With that said, my last drink was Sunday evening and want to continue on this path of sobriety....but I so badly need the support of you, my friends again! Would you all mind if I hopped aboard your ship??? If we have to take jobs...I could always swab the decks And I LOVE to play shuffle board!!
I sure have missed you all....everyone sounds fantastic!!!!
SD:l

[lodestar]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Welcome back, SD and great to meet you! I'm new here and just wanted to say the more the merrier to you before heading off to bed.

Sounds like you know what to do, so welcome aboard! I love shuffleboard too, so let's skip the deck swabbing!

Wishing all sweet dreams!

[redhibiscus]

November Navigators ~ AF -Week 2

Welcome back, SD, it is great you decided to try again. Would you mind sharing what happened that you went back to your old ways. I too first started on this site in 2008, did well for a while and then went back to my old ways. More than once. But each time I gained time AF, learned skills and strategies, made plans to fill my time, and so I view it as a journey I am on. Progress, not perfection. I have been drinking for over 30 years and the old body cannot take alcohol anymore. Plus, this AF life is so much better. Here I am, 5 a.m. in the morning, after a good night's sleep, feeling refreshed and at peace. This is what you have had and what you want again. We are here to support you and look forward to knowing you and gaining your support. Hope and strength to you.