Feeling annoyed and upset

[KatieB]

Hi all,

As some of you know, I got a DUI charge about 3 years ago.. well, I went today to the RTA to apply for my driving licence (i've never had an aussie one before, I was just using my British one); but it turns out I cannot apply for another 7 months! Even though my accident was in May 2007.. I am feeling very despondent, humiliated (I felt the whole waiting room watching me when he told me I was still disqualified) and so upset.. I was almost tempted to go to the Bottle shop and get some AL (to 'show' them.. I have been trying so hard lately to be normal and not get drunk. but whats the point when no-one seems to appreciate this?) I dont know how long I can go AF for, when nothing seems to be working out anyway :upset: I feel I am really missing out on my son's most wonderful years in a way, as I cannot drive him anywhere and show him so many beautiful places you can't get to by car.. plus I am bloody knackered having to walk everywhere (which is even harder when pushing a pram up and down the hills where i live).. sorry for whinging but I am having trouble trying be positive here..

[mama bear]

Feeling annoyed and upset

I am so sorry K.

[KatieB]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Thanks MB.. i just feel so angry and annoyed with myself for all my stuff-ups of the past.. darn depression and darn AL for seeming such an 'easy' fix! grrrr..

[sick of being sick]

Feeling annoyed and upset

K, don't get discouraged. Life is hard and sometimes, it plains sucks! But trust me, life is alot harder when you add alcohol to the mix, then you stay really pissed off at the world! No one seems to notice or even care how hard I am trying to quit either, but we really are not staying sober for anyone but ourselves. We are the one who will benefit in the end!

[KatieB]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Thanks sos,
I know you're right.. it's just so hard sometimes when your past is still in your present! i'm trying to move on here.. but I guess now is the time to prove to myself that i can stay AF.. as when i get my licence back at least I will appreciate it a lot more than last time. I still had probs with Al up until recently so this at least gives me more time to prove I won't make the same mistake again (as i would end up in jail probably if i ever got another DUI.. since my last one was high-range)
x

[greeneyes]

Feeling annoyed and upset

kbrown, :l:l. The laws don't discredit the progress you've made. Be proud of yourself for yourself! Probably nobody in the room paid one bit of attention. It reminds me of how many people actually didn't even notice I wasn't drinking when I thought for sure I'd be in the spotlight. If you think there is no point unless you get recognition for your efforts, then YOU are missing the point. Put this in perspective and keep on doing a good job!

[Lavande]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Sorry you were disappointed today, I know you have been looking forward to getting your license.

Please use these 7 months to strengthen your commitment to living an AF life! They will go by much quicker than you imagine. You son will be there with a smile on his face when you do get your license

AL is never the answer to any problem, I think you know that.......
Keep your eye on the goal!!

Lav

[Doggygirl]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Kbrown;812864 wrote: Thanks sos,
I know you're right.. it's just so hard sometimes when your past is still in your present! i'm trying to move on here.. but I guess now is the time to prove to myself that i can stay AF.. as when i get my licence back at least I will appreciate it a lot more than last time. I still had probs with Al up until recently so this at least gives me more time to prove I won't make the same mistake again (as i would end up in jail probably if i ever got another DUI.. since my last one was high-range)
x

Hi Kbrown. I can see how disappointed you are but I'll just say "ditto" to the notion that drinking will certainly NOT improve this situation. At all. What would the consequences be if you were to get another DUI?

What would the benefits be to YOU first and foremost, and to your quality of life with your son if you get AF, get free, and just don't have to worry about AL consequences any more in your life? Wouldn't that be FABULOUS? I bet you wouldn't really think about "recognition" for not drinking. You would just be busy enjoying your freedom without the monkey of AL on your back all the time.

My life isn't perfect just because I'm sober. But it's TERRIFIC to never ever have consequences from drinking. No consequenses from drinking, no worrying about possible consequences like I used to worry every day.

You too can have that benefit.

:l

DG

[KatieB]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Thank you,
Greeneyes; I know you are right.. I have to do this for myself or I am totally missing the point, and will sink back into my old ways, and never kick AL to the curb..
Lavande; I will also make sure I keep my eye on the goal - an AF life where no more AL mistakes will be made! normal mistakes happen, but AL mistakes are often the most catastrophic (and illegal) - its very hard to come back from mistakes made from AL, as I have discovered, but it does not mean my life is over.. I have to just learn from the past, and be grateful I did not stuff my life up more than I have..
DG; I agree with everything you wrote.. though I am having issues getting my DL back, at least I have to worry about nothing else related to AL as long as I remain AF.. in time, when I do get my DL back, I can just look back on the terrible time that led me to lose it, and remember how ill I was, and that drinking AL did not improve things at all.. I have to live for myself now, and just work at being happy with who I am, and be grateful for life itself..
K

[redhibiscus]

Feeling annoyed and upset

KatieB, you are a smart person, as is evident by your posts, and willing to learn and take everyone's suggestions to heart. Read this post over, it is amazing. Around 6:00 you start out upset, down on yourself and ready to give up. By a little after 8:00 you have come around after discussing reasons to be alcohol free. You sound strong and willing to give your all to this AF journey.

It is so hard to get back what is lost due to drinking. But it will come back, I promise you. It just takes time. For most of us, this mess we are in happened over time, and will take time to be resolved. I am currently working on getting my physical self back, as I have abused my body for years. Emotionally is still a struggle too. Dealing with feelings is a new experience. Sending you strength and hope.

[mario]

Feeling annoyed and upset

katie -b, dont give up,dealing with real living and the ups & downs it brings is all part of our journey,drinking as you well know will not make it any better or make it go away.dont quit quitting.

[Cecelia]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Katie B - I understand your thoughts of feeling unappreciated in your endeavors towards sobriety! I was just thinking such a thought last evening, mainly about my husband, who left me alone on Day 9 AF on a Friday evening so that he could hang out with a friend and drink. He did the same last Friday night. Did I mention that Fridays are my worst days of temptation?

I have placed Brick 10 today as I build my wall between alcohol and a healthy life, and had a discussion with my hubby about needing more support...there are many things we can do AF, and he needs to make an effort as well. Ultimately, however, it is me who needs to appreciate me. Not that I'm on this journey alone, but only I can do this for myself.

[sick of being sick]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Hey, Katie! I hope you are feeling better today. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to vent. We are all here to listen and understand. Vent all you want to, just don't drink! We all love and support you! Hope youo have a great day!

[KatieB]

Feeling annoyed and upset

Thanks all,
I am feeling much better today.. I just felt so disheartened yesterday.. but I know that I should use this experience as a reminder not to drink! The reason all this has happened is because I was turning to AL when depressed! I don't want depression or AL to mess my life up anymore.. I'm now on day 4 AF.. feeling pretty good,
Cecilia- yes you are right, we are on this journey for ourselves first and foremost.. and my (now ex) hubby wasn't very supportive of me not drinking either.. even now, after him assaulting me, he still encourages me to buy AL - he obviously does not learn from the past at all.. I am glad I am not with him anymore as i'm sure I would have kept having issues with AL (i'm not saying its the same with your hubby, im just saying what its been like with me) I know the only way I can have a no-hassles life is to stay AF,
K