Damn

[K9Lover]

Again. :upset:

After what I went through last Friday with what I swear was alcohol poisoning, I made it through the weekend AF purely out of fear. The human body is amazing in it's ability to heal...you start feeling better and the urge strikes again...

I guess I am just going to have to "live" on this site...I refuse to give up. I don't know how to make a "plan"....I feel like I've tried everything in the past. Ugh.

Thank you all for being here, it helps knowing I'm not alone in this struggle.

[dancelot]

Damn

K9, when I came here I felt like I had alcohol poisoning. I have to remember what that felt like. I did stay on this site, almost constantly. One day, one hour, or one minute at a time. Can you do that?

All I had in my original plan was stay in the moment, so to speak, and always have an alternative to drinking. ALWAYS. I stayed in chat 6 or 8 hours my first day here, because I wouldn't go out and buy more.

"Hitting bottom" is sometimes described as an elevator going down, and we decide which floor to get off on. The feeling of being poisoned was an opportunity for me to look for a way out, something I'd been needing to do for years. I do remember, the longer I drank, how even a really nasty hangover was easily forgotten in a day or sometimes less. I also know now, the reason I felt crappier and crappier every morning was because of the physical addiction had taken hold. I'd had the psychological addiction for years, but this was something else - and I have no idea at what point that line was crossed.

I drank for 36 years, and now have over 7 months AF. Just know it IS do able. Love and hugs to you - Dance :l:h

[Gumby]

Damn

You are so not alone. I wish you inner strength;-)

[johnnyh]

Damn

Hey K9,

I had 2 experiences this year (aside from all the regular really bad hangovers), I thought were near death experiences. I landed on a drip with 40 plus fever each time. My body just coudln't cope with the Alcohol. Both times it took me less than a full week to pick up a drink again once I felt better. While I had fever I was sensible not to drink. But as soon as that wore off, back to the bottle.

It's not you. It's the nature of the beast. We all share plenty of experiences like this. Just try and remember how you felt and tell yourself you don't want to go back there. It didn't help me at the time. But I wasn't in touch at MWO at the time. YOu can do it!!!

[sick of being sick]

Damn

Alcohol is poison to your body. I highly recommend you getting the book "the easy way to quit drinking" by allen carr. It will help you alot to view alcohol differently. I am so happy you found the site and recognize you had a problem. Try not to look back or forward, just focus on TODAY and getting through just today without alcohol. I drank every night for 10 years and it is taken me a while to stay sober, too. I get so mad at myself every time I drink. But I think each time we learn a little more about ourself and what makes us drink so we can avoid those situations. It is a very good idea to stay on the site as much as possible ESPECIALLY when you want to drink. Remember every time you deny a craving, it gets weaker and you get stronger. I would recommend you finding a group to be a part of like "the newbies nest" or "who ready to get their ass in gear". Tlrgs has been sober for 2 years and he is an awesome encourager. Don't give up. We are all going through the same thing, trying to get and stay sober. We are always here to help you. Best of luck and love to you! YOU CAN DO THIS!

[the bellinator]

Damn

K9
I DO live on this site. At home I am logged on to it at all times....I do this and that, check in. I read, post, pray, and repeat. You can do it.

Hang in there.

[rubywillow]

Damn

K-9, it's the breaking of the cycle that is the first important step. Do whatever it takes to get some time under your belt, then start to work on your triggers. We learn WHAT our triggers are, then use the tools to learn how to cope with them. If its prowling around here all day, I can't think of a better place to be!

[Anotherday]

Damn

No, you are most definitely not alone. :l Living on this site is a pretty good place to be and if it helps, all the better!

AD

[Lavande]

Damn

K9Lover,

What really helped me get off my a$$ & get serious about quitting was the birth of my first grandchild!
I didn't quit entirely right away but I knew, deep down that I had to quit if I ever wanted to spend any time around him! I was scared to death to handle him the first 3 1/2 months of his life because I was perpetually hung over. That had to stop!!!!!!

Here I am now, just a few days away from being 1 year AF! I had him in my care this weekend - just the two of us here & it was great He's grown into a very busy little man, I had a ball chasing him around. We played outside, the weather was so nice!

To make your plan:
Decide what you triggers are - look in the Tool Box for good ideas on how to handle them. Substitute healthy behaviors for drinks.
Choose your goals - what do you see yourself doing 1 year from now?
Set yourself up for success - inmy case that involved ridding my house of all AL, vowing to never buy any more & pretty much isolating myself for a few weeks while I built up my strength & resolve.

You can do it too
Wishing you the best!

Lav