I'm not coping..

[OverIt2007]

I'm not coping..

Katie Sweetheart,

I care SO much about you too! Sometimes I see so much good advice given to you here, I cannot think of better to give!

Just know I am ALWAYS in your corner girl. I KNOW you will be ok

[Justforme]

I'm not coping..

Maybe time to change the title of this thread or start a new one entitled 'Coping' !!

[fennel]

I'm not coping..

Don't go away, Katie. :l

[techie]

I'm not coping..

Yea!

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

Hi all,

Well, just got back from my counsellor visit.. and Kate1 you can feel good about the fact he pretty much echoed your sentiments.. and he wants me to go to rehab.. I know alot of what you said was said to make me see what I was doing, and to get me to sort my head out.. that you were trying to help.. it's just when other people (ukblonde was one) who start saying "hear hear" you kind of feel ganged up upon.. particularly when in different timezones, you cannot respond straight away sometimes, so logging on in the morning to find a whole heap of people "ganging up" on you is not a nice way to start the day.. so I was on the defensive..
I am going to think about the rehab thing but hoping this weekend with lots of rest on my own and mental gathering of thoughts, I will be able to get back to my previous strong mindset.. if I keep feeling more and more depressed, rehab may have to be the option for me - as my counsellor said, not for the detox (as I'm not drinking) - but the fact I "think like an addict", and need intense psychotherapy to overcome my thinking patterns which lead to my drinking behaviours.. and episodes like Tues, when I could have put my son at risk - but didn't as I did think to call my counsellor and my friend who looked after him.. I don't want to lose my son or my life.. I have a lot of thinking to do this weekend.. thank you for everyone's support.. love you all,
Katie xxx

[Guest]

I'm not coping..

I did not "gang" up on anyone but if it is causing problems perhaps I won't agree with anyone else's posts in future.

[dizilizid]

I'm not coping..

Hey KatieB. Just hang in there sweetie. This is one hard path to travell. I've been where you were on Tues, about a million times. Something will click in your head one of These days, trust me. I've been to rehab twice, and still fell many times thereafter. If you want, i can send a lifeboat to pick you up and bring you back to the boat trip we're all having. It's for 60days and we gonna hav shite loads of fun fun fun your son needs you so much, don't let him have to grow up with a man like your ex. You don't want your son to turn out like him right? I wish i was where you are, so i could be there more for you! Why don't you take your son, and move back to your country? Anyway, Hava great day KatieA. Big hugs and kisses.

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

Thank you dizilizid,
I definately could do with a lifeboat right now! But there's no way I want to go back to the UK.. I don't want my son growing up there, Aus is a much better life-style.. and I prob couldn't anyway due to legalities about my ex having access to him.. I know once I am well, I am the best parent for him.. I have it in writing now (since my episode on Tues) that my ex has admitted he has made threats.. I am going to psyche myself up for the Family Court.. which is different to the legal courts.. I have to keep "with the programme", stay sane and look after myself.. thanks again, its so nice to hear I am not alone,
Katie xxx

[tawnyfrog]

I'm not coping..

Katie - the way I see it, on this thread you had some 40 people responding to your post, all offering opinions and advice. If two or three of those offered an opinion you didn't much like, I don't think that constitutes "a whole heap of people "ganging up" on you.


I wish you a calm and thoughtful weekend. Take care.

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

Thanks Tawny,
It mainly felt like that because when I went to sleep there was nothing but supportive posts, but when I came on in the morning all I saw were criticisms on this thread (yes i know they were meant to make me think and stop being a "victim" in the way I think).. but I will make sure I have a very thought-provoking weekend, mulling over the week's events...
Katie

[KatieB]

I'm not coping..

I also want to add.. that whilst the "tough love" approach may work for some.. for someone like me.. its more likely to take me in the opposite direction.. I think there should be a "warning" button for when someone is posting something that is of this approach, the recipient has a choice whether they want to hear it or not! I know it doesn't work for me.. I feel that as I am an adult and in charge of my own choices, I will make them based on my own judgement, and those of messages/posts that are of a supportive, loving nature.. that's just who I am, but everyone is different..
Katie xx

[Flip Top]

I'm not coping..

K9Lover;876291 wrote: Just sending hugs your way Katie, I don't know what else to say. Please don't let others opinions make you leave, only do it if it's what's right for you. I'm here if you want to PM me. :l :l :l

Im here to, PM if you want to Kate x

[Guest]

I'm not coping..

I have experience of "tough love" being used in the wrong way, and I too don't agree with it in that context. Your posts were saddening me deeply and I was very concerned. We can offer all the support in the world but can't take that drink from your hand. I could also see myself in your posts too. People used to tell me it was up to me and I didn't get it. When I did it saved my life - I just don't want you to go through all the things I had to to get there. There is a whole host people offering and trying to help, as well as recommended meds, tools etc as well as your opportunity for rehab.

I just wish and hope you can get AF.

[Stargazerlily]

I'm not coping..

Hi KatieB,
I have been following your journey and really admire you for asking for help and not giving up. You are on the right path and have been working so hard to recreate your life after divorce and in dealing with the alcohol issues. Your honesty and sharing have been so helpful to so many.

I have a feeling that the reason you felt judged and criticized, is that you are harder on yourself than anyone else. The shame and anxiety in the aftermath of an alcohol binge is so hard to go through. Plus, I think we are all afraid that, "there but for the grace of God, go I."

I am so pleased that you have decided to stay on this site. People responding to you care deeply for you or they would not respond at all. They want to share their experience and wisdom in the hope that they can make your journey easier, that you will not necessarily make the mistakes they might have made. So.....

Keep reaching out, asking for help, taking what you can use and discarding the rest. You are worth it and I know you will make it. Sending you peace and love.

[spuddleduck]

I'm not coping..

katie honey, glad your here. please dont focus on the comments you feel were judgemental. everyone is trying to help you in different ways. only you know what is right for you and i really hope you find your way out of this. when you feel down on yourself its easy to pick up on things you feel are negative towards you. why not stay with the things that make you feel positive. all the advice is good advice, take from it what you need. you are here, you are posting, you are trying hard to sort your life at. think very carefully about what you need to do to achieve this goal. stay strong and focussed