Sober NOvember Challenge

[one2many]

Sober NOvember Challenge

STOP worrying...lol.

Wanna meet up in town before Christmas for lunch?

[mollyka]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hi everyone, just checking in before I go to bed. Absolutely knackered - had a draining day, all sorts of stuff going on - need to sleep on it! Hope everyone is in great form, I'm off tomorrow so will talk in the morning!
Molly

[one2many]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hope you are ok Molly, things always look better in the morning xxxx Big hug.

[enja]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hello NOvemberists-

Just checking in here. :hiya: Managed to enjoy two events AF last week! The first was meeting a bunch of friends at a famous cocktail bar to celebrate a birthday - thankfully there was a large selection of AF cock(mock?)tails many of which were indistinguishable, by just looking at them, from the AL ones. Pluses were: enjoyed fabulous fruity drinks, a comment that I was just as fun and didn't need AL(!), not feeling deprived, having a great night out with no hangover...Minuses: None whatsoever! :H The other event was dinner at a swish restaurant - I asked if they had any AF cocktails and they did, in fact they had a special house one which was gorgeous - not sure exactly what was in it but it was delicious and served in a beautiful glass.

So, with my success I should be feeling good about being AF, right? Trouble is, is that despite those two nights I have also had some days when I'm just furious that I can't drink. I've started the bargaining in my head that perhaps over the Christmas holidays I'll allow myself a few glasses of wine.... just for the taste, not for the buzz - no harm, no foul - I'll just stop again. Then I go through what the realistic scenario will be- I'll want the buzz after that first mouthful, I can't stop - I'll keep going till I pass out - I'll feel sick and mortified the next day and I'll drink again, and again. It took me years and years to stop this time and I've no reason to believe that it wouldn't be any different next time around and I get angry, why am I like this, why can't I drink "normally"? Maybe I should try and moderate? :upset: Sorry for the pity party - I'm just so confused about why I would even think of jeopardizing everything I've achieved so far, but I do.....

[gettinghappy]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Enja, It's just the whole holiday thing. :dontworry:Over the years we have all planned our fun around drinking and we will have to find other ways to have fun and relax. Martinellis is really good sparkling cider and it looks just like champagne. Cranberry juice with soda water is good too. Pretty AF drinks can make you happy too. Especially if you think ahead to how great you'll feel in the morning. I just hope I don't continue to replace drinking with food!!!

[mollyka]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Morning everyone, Enja, not that it's any consolation but your thinking processes are normal, we all have them from time to time. It's ok to feel shit sometimes, and be aware that the feelings do ease with time - just one negative of being a recovering alkie I suppose! Gettinghappy is prob right, it is to do with Christmas etc looming. I gave up cigarettes over 30 yrs ago about 2 weeks before I got married - I reckoned that I would always know if I craved a ciggie, that the rationale would be, if I could get through my wedding without smokes I didn't need one ever - it worked. Similarly I started giving up booze 14 Dec. last year and had a sober christmas (couple of black hole experiences in the meantime....but!!) with exactly the same reasons, and it is working - christmas isn't even on my reckoner with sobriety this year, so it is good. Every craving we conquer, every occasion we negotiate sober, every drama we overcome without drink adds to our bank of successes and makes the next time so so so much easier.
Talk later
Molly

[Guest]

Sober NOvember Challenge

one2many;1005206 wrote: STOP worrying...lol.

Wanna meet up in town before Christmas for lunch?

yes! Id love that!

[Guest]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Enja, sorry that the head fuck has started but it sounds like you got it in control.
Over the last few days ive been feeling like something is missing, like im waiting for something to happen, strange, I know im adapting to not drinking but its a really restless feeling, its like I dont even want to go out to buy drink, I just want to do SOMETHING!!
Any way, good news is I weighed myself and ive lost 3 lbs, one for each af week so I shoukld loose another 4 or 5 by christmas and look fabulous!

[one2many]

Sober NOvember Challenge

It will come to you Limey, the thing you are looking for, it will come.

Whoohoo on the weight loss!

Enja, the feelings you are experiencing is normal....Stinkin Thinkin warps rational thoughts and can escalate into an overwheming compulsion.

Originally Posted by A Work in Progress
Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. And, eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.

Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.

Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.

[Peacefull]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hi all,

Quick check in...Enja, I am right there with ya, and our start date is the same ?? I have actually come to terms with the fact that I will moderate. I am going to complete 90 days and then be diligent in the moderating. I am not going to go full out and party on Day 91 but I feel that I have learned enough from starting again after a long period of AF and going down that slippery slope that I have to be on top of my drinking. I am not saying I am going to start drinking right away or ever really, just that I might have one once in a while.

Whew, there I have said it and I hope it was ok to talk about it here....I thank all of you who have helped me make it through these past 3 months and I will be on the mod boards to keep myself on track.

Who knows, I may never pick a drink up again, this is just how I am feeling right now.

[Wagoneer]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Sober here and on day 17. Worried as hell as my eldest got this nasty visue going around the house. Had to pick her up before work - she was on her way to school and had to hop off the bus because she was going to throw up! Poor thing waited till she got off the bus to throw up. SHe is home now, so sick, and here I am at work. God I hate this. I need to be home with her. I never could deal with this stress hungover. Please send healing vibes to my family - we are 3 for 3 with this virus. My husband and I are next in line. Oy.

[Choochie]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Wagon - I used to teach school and stayed pretty sick - germy places, those schools!! Sending you healing vibes.:l Congrats - Day 17 Woohooo!!

[Wagoneer]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Had to rush home from work - she can't even hold down ice chips. Poor thing. Got home in 45 minutes (usually takes almost 2 hours to get home). So worried. She is sleeping now, but what a sick pup she is.

[Dewdrop]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hi everyone,

Sorry to hear about your sick home Wagon, it?s a worry when the family are not well but as you say at least you can cope better sober. Enja sorry you are having highs and lows it seems like that?s normal though, I sometimes think I let my brain have too much control on my thinking. I usually pop on here when I feel like that and get a shot of determination. Peace I applaud your bravery and if you can moderate and that?s what you want to do good for you. We each have to find our own way through this. At the moment I can?t even allow any thoughts of moderation into my thinking. Hey I think we all hit the 3 month mark next week Peace and Enja on the 23rd, me on the 25th and Choice and Spinning on the 27th - is that right??

I had a huge argument at work today with someone in a senior position to me and still can?t get it out of my mind. I held my own despite them being spiteful, bullying and using an arrogant and patronising tone of voice, it was an awful conversation and not one I want to go through again. However as soon as I got into my car I sobbed all the way home and I am furious at myself for being such a feeble female, I keep thinking if I was a man I?d have decked him and felt much better. I?ve put on some soothing classical music and am drinking a green tea although I did hanker after a bottle of wine to blot it all out on the drive home

Dewdrop :h

[Choochie]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Dew - I so hear what you're saying here. I cry easily if anyone confronts me. Oh well, I'd rather be soft hearted than an asshole. Good for you for not drinking.

Peace - good luck with whatever you decide. The routes we take are all very individual, I know.

Enja, have you read Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Stop Drinking? So far, at least, it's made me feel like I'm not missing out on anything by giving up alcohol. Not sure if the feeling will stick, but I highly recommend the book.

Molly - I think the cigarette analogy is a perfect comparison to the alcohol addiction. I quit smoking so I can quit alcohol!

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!