An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

scottish lass;1356776 wrote: Hi all - got thru last night, but first thought on waking was one of those demon thoughts.
G - you are right, there are no good reasons, but it really felt like it last night.
My husband and I seperated 18 months ago, and I am still struggling with this. Our girls spend a week with each of us. Last week was "my week" - they both love horses and I had found them a horse camp on the beach for a week - so they spent a fabulous week riding on the beach and spending every waking minute with horses and new friends - we went to pick them up yesterday, then they dropped their bags off and went straight to their fathers. So I was tired, lonely and a little angry - Lav on Newbies nest talks about HALT (hungry, angry, lonely and tired) and I was pretty much there. No reasons, but a pile of triggers. Drinking would not help any of them, just make them worse - my head tells me that loud and clear, but my heart is heavy.
I will succeed - I have enough to keep me busy today, will nip to grocery store early before the voices get too strong.
Thank Goodness for MWO - I would not have stayed strong last night without it - that is for sure.
Thanks for the support....

Scottish Lass, very sorry to hear of your split. That's rough and 18 months still very early days. My hat off to you for being sober. Just wanted to give you one of these :l Wishing you peaceful thoughts for this evening.

Let's all keep the momentum up. We're doing great even if I say so myself!

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi everyone, and good mid morning from Australia.

Great to hear folks chalking up the AF days. Keep it going at all costs.

Scottish Lass, break up's sure are tough, but you can come through this. I don't know if you have good friends to talk to and unload some stuff with? As for me, i'm on track, and taking back my sobriety again. My strategy is simply to take daily positive action, which begins with meditation, then on with the running shoes and out the door.

Take care all.

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Dogwood Blossom;1356787 wrote: This is a weird place we are all in; not really happy yet in the sober world, maybe even a little resentful; certainly not happy in the AL world! There's only one way to find happiness and that is to work through it till the sober world becomes "normal" again. I know it can happen.

Hiya DB.

You are spot on. It CAN happen, and it does. Just keep reading around here and see the joy in the words of folks who are getting 30 AF days and beyond under their belts. Gratitude thinking versus deprivation thinking. Your 6 days is amazing and heroic, we just have to keep it going, and see it through with ruthless committment, many find.

Great going on your AF time.

[LillyE]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi all,

I've been off the computer the last few days just due to being out and about a lot over a lovely and AF weekend. It's great to check back in and see all the great, positive posts here and people kicking goals. This is a great thread and I'm really happy it's active again.

Scottish Lass, Well done on getting back in the saddle and trying again and posting again. And, it sucks you had to learn the hard way at 66 days, but maybe it'll be easier to avoid next time those thoughts creep in? I second the kudos to you on getting sober when you're still dealing with the emotional fallout from a separation. Drinking would only make things worse but I sure know how all those feelings can be such a trigger. :l

G loved your quote about 30 days being a golden time to open the door wider, not step back. As I just posted in Monthly Abs, I had a dinner out Friday night where I didn't drink, but I found it hard, and I found some slippery thinking creeping in over the weekend as a result. I am very glad to be more aware of it but I realize I need to actively get my thinking back on track, as I can see how reaching 30 days could be dangerous in a way. I've been so focused on reaching that for the last year… and it's TOMORROW!!!… that now I need to seriously think about setting new goals and moving forward, not letting complacency creep in.

Dogwood, I love to read too, one of my greatest joys in life, and I am reading SO MUCH MORE sober It's a great tool for distraction in the early days if you're a reader. And, it's funny, I can't read when drunk, but I find even when I'm drinking, but not drunk, I just don't read anywhere near as much - I think my concentration is just kind of shot from Al when I'm drinking. It's lovely to be able to really get lost in a book again. I'm averaging one to two books a week. So go load yourself up with a big stack of really good ones if you haven't already!! All that money you're saving on booze - spend it at the bookstore or on Book Depository. Or just swing by your local library.

RunningforLife, I hope you have stopped beating yourself up re the BBQ. We have all been there. But the key now is to really dig deep and find your commitment and motivation for REALLY giving AL the boot. What is your plan?

Clear Eyes, you too will be feeling happier and more positive in no time if you can just hang in there. It must be about a week now, right? How are you feeling?

I posted this in Monthly Abs this morning but I'm going to post it here too in case it helps anyone in the early days struggling to remember why they're doing this. I promise you, hang in there and even after a week, two, three, you will seriously start to see very positive changes. I promise!

On Day 29 Al Free…

I feel calmer, happier, more positive, less anxious, less depressed.

I am sleeping better and my allergies are, not gone, but much better.

I have been working out and eating healthily and, as a result, have lost over 2.5 kilos and can see signs my fitness is steadily improving.

I have spent sooo much less money and saved money. I've put $100 a week aside each week I haven't drunk into a special account (including the month of June in which I only drunk on two nights) with which I've saved enough to buy myself an iPad and treat myself to a special dinner outu Friday with $200 in the account still awaiting another treat…

I feel more present with my friends without booze getting in the way. I have had the time and energy to do good things for people I love this month that I might not have got around to if I were drinking and/or hungover.

I feel proud of myself for tackling this!

I feel more focused on the future, not just bogged down in present drinking misery/worry/anxiety.

I am setting goals for myself.

I am learning HUGE amounts about myself and this addiction. Sometimes it's painful but mostly it's great and way better than the dark fog of denial.

[Dogwood Blossom]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Great post Lilly. I got a Kindle for Christmas and as long as I stay AF I will finally get to use it! I just can't focus at all when drinking. Can't even really follow the plot in a movie! AND, I've walked my dogs and run a little the last few days! It feels good.

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Thanks all for the support and understanding! I am so tired tonight, not sure why - can only think it is due to the internal battle that has gone on all weekend. It is so nice though (when the good voice wins) to realise that I will wake on Monday ready to start the day and not be planning my quit yet again!!
Can't work out how to add a quote, but DG you nailed it! It really is a no mans land just now and vacillating between the two camps is wearing me out - I would so love to be able to cross over totally and leave the other world behind - hopefully it will come for all of us!
Well done to G for staying on track too.
Great post Lilly - will be wonderful to cheer your 30 days tomorrow. You hit the nail on the head thou, don't let your guard down, it does seem as if you fight to get somewhere - then what next....the saving money for treats is a great idea....$100 seems a lot, really interesting when it doesn't seem to be a lot to spend on bottle of wine or two a day - NUTS!!
Have a great rest os Sunday and looking forward to a hangover free Monday!

[LillyE]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Thanks Scottish - I'm certainly looking forward to celebrating tomorrow (evening as that will be officially 30 days). I'm not sure what I'll do to mark the occasion but ... something... I definitely plan to schedule in some quiet journal time to reflect and reset my goals.

Sadly, I think that $100 a week is probably a conservative estimate of what I'm saving by not drinking when you also factor in the things like more taxis and hungover breakfasts that come with drinking. Not to mention lost time and productivity! It's hard to say as I didn't have a set pattern like a bottle a night but when I would buy a bottle (at least three times a week) it'd be $20 a pop. Going out, wine here is around $7-12+ a glass. Cocktails $15+. It adds up so quickly! I seem to spend HALF what I would have now when I go out with friends.

I recommend it! Calculate what you would have spent and then put that money aside and use it for something special just for you. I figure I would have just poured it down my throat otherwise so why not?

[LillyE]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Also, the early days are EXHAUSTING! Be gentle with yourself. Sleep as much as you can. Eat well. Rest. Hibernate if you need to. It's a good time to be your own best friend.:l

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Beautiful morning here and back from early walk. Sunny wishes for all today :rays: Day 7 and feeling good

[available]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Made it through day one and not that hard but ha it sounds good in saying that! thanks all for the well wishes and its nice to be back to know i am not alone and we all struggle. As i read in a thread we only drink for 4 to 6 hours and then are blind and in a 24 hour day that is not that long but god so hard. Stay safe all x

[Dogwood Blossom]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

WAY TO GO LILLY! I know not official till this evening but just wanted to start you off with a pat on the back!

Available...good job!

SL...I am so tired too right now. I'm sure our bodies are working so hard trying to repair! I am going to do something I haven't done in a long while and that is listen to my body!

FF...Let's get this Day 7 going!

I'm praying another sober day to all of us.

[Kradle123]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

scottish lass;1356776 wrote: Hi all - got thru last night, but first thought on waking was one of those demon thoughts.
G - you are right, there are no good reasons, but it really felt like it last night.
My husband and I seperated 18 months ago, and I am still struggling with this. Our girls spend a week with each of us. Last week was "my week" - they both love horses and I had found them a horse camp on the beach for a week - so they spent a fabulous week riding on the beach and spending every waking minute with horses and new friends - we went to pick them up yesterday, then they dropped their bags off and went straight to their fathers. So I was tired, lonely and a little angry - Lav on Newbies nest talks about HALT (hungry, angry, lonely and tired) and I was pretty much there. No reasons, but a pile of triggers. Drinking would not help any of them, just make them worse - my head tells me that loud and clear, but my heart is heavy.
I will succeed - I have enough to keep me busy today, will nip to grocery store early before the voices get too strong.
Thank Goodness for MWO - I would not have stayed strong last night without it - that is for sure.
Thanks for the support....

Hi Scottish lass:

I don't post here often but I happened on your post and well..
That wasn't a pity part AT ALL! In fact my first thought was, "Wow! That's THE perfect post. Sums up exactly what is like to Balance our INTERNAL struggle with our EXTERNAL struggle. Each person here has the different circumstances, but your post clarified and defined the actual feelings and thoughts we go through...

Well, they did for me.
:thanks:

[clear eyes]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Good morning all! Wanted to post yesterday but was never left alone!!! I was in such a bad mood.
Lily- great post and congratulations on "30 days"!!! Quite an accomplishment.
SL- Gald you made it through Saturday night. Let's keep this going.
DB- You are doing so good too. I too am still tired. I took a nap yesterday which I NEVER do. I was still tired last night...slept good last night and am still tired this morning.
Available- good job on day one.
FF- You can do this. I can't wait to cheer you on tomorrow after you have made it through your day 8!
G- thanks for all your inspiration. Are you on day 7 with the rest of us?

Wishing all a very happy sober Monday! You all are helping me more than you know!

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Morning all - well it's noon, so afternoon all! Got thru the weekend and today is the last day of my first week...I do feel better than I felt this week - I was walking round clearing house of AL...
I am so glad of the company here, thank you all!
Still tired, but it is a bit of a relief to see others feel the same, I just need to accpet it and as you have said, listen to my poor tired poisoned body as it tries to work out how to cope with it's nutty owner!!

[Dogwood Blossom]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Today a friend of mine lost her job. She was devastated to say the least and the first thing she did after calling her husband was call me. That was about 8:30 this morning. I was immediately grateful that I was available and able to help her. She is not really aware of my drinking because I had become a closet drinker, so this time last week, I would've been unable to be there for her. Grateful, grateful, grateful. I go back to an earlier post and maybe it was Rooni or FF or Lily that was talking about being able to be there for those we love. Doesn't really matter who said it cause our stories are all too similar. Too many times I have been out of the loop!