Hi Redhead and welcome!
Hi Roller, how was the party? And did you get my pm?
Readhead there are sooooo many ways that people feel when quitting that I can only advise you read and read and read.
I was a chronic heavy drinker, 500mls.+ vodka + wine per night for 23 years and have quit without meds and feel great( just a bit fatigued). Try to get your thinking right about quitting, if you think you are 'giving something up' you are more likely to struggle, if you think you are 'quitting' something that is quietly gonna kill you then you will find it a LOT easier.
Everybody has their different problems as there are so many variables ..... But one constant is ...... If you have lost control over your drinking( which you admit you have) ....... The only way forward is to stop drinking alcohol any way you can, and STAY STOPPED ANY WAY YOU CAN.
Good luck with your journey and come here often and keep posting. This is a wonderful site full of wonderful supportive people.
Kuya

Ive noticed that Ive been eating lots of Popsicle since I've stopped. LOL I guess its because of the sugar and its hot so its killing two birds with one stones. Im trying to not eat so much since drinking has caused me to gain over 30 lbs. I guess thats what wine will do to ya. This whole abstaining thing is definitely tough!! I used to pay tennis and would love to start it again but unfortunately no one I know plays. Iam starting to go to the gym, hiking . I love being outdoors. you mentioned playing the violin and it made me think that I used to love to play the clarinet and the piano. Havent done that in years!!! Maybe I should take it up again. Its probably a good idea to start doing things that used to make me happy.
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