Addressing those triggers, those things that you invited AL over for.

[Slaythefear]

Today is the beginning of a new battle for me. Not just identifying the triggers that brought AL to the rescue, but to do something about them regardless of the outcomes that may ensue. It's the next fear to slay, those imagined or maybe real outcomes that were too hard to think about by taking action against something wrong in my life.

This quote is pretty telling to what the first issue is to hit today's work list.

"If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it. Know when to close the account."

Knowing when I close these accounts, I may lose the people involved or change the relationships in very big ways is the fear I am slaying today and moving forward. If it is that easy to lose them, they were not healthy to begin with.

Feel free to add any daily battle or change you need to make to alleviate triggers.

:goodluck: and :kissass:

[Slaythefear]

Addressing those triggers, those things that you invited AL over for.

mollyka;1384110 wrote: Very interesting Slay - and VERY pertinent to me and my life at the moment. A very troubled antagonistic relationship arose between me and my two sisters. Around the time my Mum was dying - it was hell frankly - and without making ANY excuses for myself it without a doubt imo - caused me to 'cross the line' with my drinking.
However, if I'm to believe AA philosophy - I need to make amends to anyone I may have harmed. As in ANY argument or row - no one is 100% right or wrong - and I know there were times I was wrong - but holy shit - they were a million times wronger and this is looking back at the situation in the cold sober light of day. Personally I would like to 'draw the line in the sand' - and banish them forever out of my life - but........ if I attempt to 'make amends' to them for my part in the wrongdoings --- do I re-ignite my original triggers?? Not sure............
Molly

No excuses needed. It happens to most of us who start calling our psychiatrist AL in to help. See my post on the newbies nest today. I dug the psych. one up this morning. I believe when it comes to making amends it is important to keep in mind those who you truly wronged, not any disagreement or fight that erupted that you feel was not actually the fault of your behavior. I think that is to relieve one of guilt they are carrying around and that would be for a perceived wrong you have done. Be sure to think this situation through as you don't have to rush in and do everything immediately. Make sure you have a good handle of how you really feel and what you really need out of this situation. If you do what you think you 'should' do instead of what you 'need' to do for your own healing, it can be a setback as you say and a trigger. If you are working through triggers, be sure to work through them in a helpful way and not a harmful way. It can take time to come to the real need we have that we have ignored, but keeping a journal and seeing a repeated pattern of thinking can be helpful and of course, being sober and having a clearer mind. lol Yeah, that sure helps.

Well wishes and feel free to purge if you need to. I started a purge thread, but left it alone when I was in a low mood and went off kilter. Sometimes when I am posting here, I begin to see I'm actually listening to myself. Funny how we do that.

:l

[paulywogg]

Addressing those triggers, those things that you invited AL over for.

hello slay,triggers are so hard for me cuz theyre subtle,i drank for everything,holidays,movies,dinners,dr appointments,work! its nice to do these things sober now and remember them! even smells and certain foods are triggers though i hate it!

[Kradle123]

Addressing those triggers, those things that you invited AL over for.

Hi Molly:

Making Amends is such an interesting topic. I don't think it is as cut and dried as ringing the person place or thing and saying, "so sorry...' I cu
T my sites off last March because I finally realized that they were making far more withdrawals then deposit and I was forever out of balance with them.

However, I also recognize that I added to crap that ultimately came between us. I also recognize that for me to stay healthy in my heart and mind I CAN NOT call them and say, "gee so sorry..." I know thru experience where that leads.

My amends for this comes in my own emotional, sincere, silent apology to them...mainly thru my Buddhist practice. I am calm in my decision and sincere in my taking responsibility for what has happened. I chant for their happiness and victory this life. That is my amends.

I am trying to be based in reality now. And the reality is that to resurrect communication with them, though perhaps steady in the beginning will eventually lead to another out of balance situation. I don't want that anymore and I certainly can't afford it. :h

[Kradle123]

Addressing those triggers, those things that you invited AL over for.

Sorry ...I meant to type , ' cut my Sisters off...'.

[Slaythefear]

Addressing those triggers, those things that you invited AL over for.

paulywogg;1384144 wrote: hello slay,triggers are so hard for me cuz theyre subtle,i drank for everything,holidays,movies,dinners,dr appointments,work! its nice to do these things sober now and remember them! even smells and certain foods are triggers though i hate it!

Pauly, I knew they were there, but I didn't give them CAPITAL letters or defined identification in my thinking as problems I could address in other ways. I'd just run when they called. Now, I'm breaking them down into detailed specifics, so I can address them with solutions. Instead of just giving into the emotion that follows whether it's sadness, happiness, anxiety, etc. or even boredom, bad habits and of course the connected addiction, I put the feelings, etc. with the events and take a closer look at them and how I can better address them. Now some will be easier than others to handle. Others are much more complicated and I know I am cognizant now of the fear I have that kept me from dealing with them. So, here I go. Good or bad outcome, it's time to address even the difficult ones. I'll be visiting the Knights of the Roundtable store for more armor. It better be some heavy duty armor if things get difficult which I feel they will on one issue.

If I leave them unattended to, I feel like they are sitting there waiting to trip me up just when I think it's safe.