I need some sober friends....

[lolab]

I need some sober friends....

hey sunnygirl!!! Way to go! On enjoying this day without alcohol!

My husband travels lots too. And it used to be that it was the time for me to drink without having to hide it - or worry about how I felt or what time I went to bed. I've shifted my thinking - now I look forward to the times that he is gone - so that I can read in bed without interruption - I can spend two days tearing a room apart cleaning or painting without having to break to hang out with him....I can take a nice bath and snuggle into my cozy bed and make it all "girly" for that time...and all of this I can do and actually enjoy the feeling of snuggling into a nice soft bed all by myself - because I haven't passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow...and I wake up to my house - not in a mess because I didn't have the ambition to pick up the kitchen the night before....

It's all about changing the way you look at things. INstead of thinking "he's gone - perfect opportunity to drink" or "he's gone - I'm so lonely, I'll just drink" to "he's gone - what can I get accomplished?" or "he's gone - where's that book I've been wanting to read?" or "he's gone - I'm going to pamper myself, or watch a chick flick by myself, or make a meal that he doesn't like."

Tomorrow will be 3 for you right? The first few days are the toughest and your'e doing GREAT!

[Sunnygirl]

I need some sober friends....

Wow Lolab! You hit the nail on the head when you write about what I do when my husband is gone....drink, drink, drink. Those are all great ideas for spending my time instead of drinking. Believe it or not, they have crossed my mind, but I have chosen the alternative. I only had one drink with dinner last night to stop my hands from shaking so I guess it's only Day 1 for me so far. It's okay, after a rocky morning, knowing you guys are there helped me through the day. While heating my leftovers I found another beer in the fridge. I must have been pretty drunk Sunday night to have missed it.....I would never leave beer unfinished. Well guess what, you guys have really inspired me so I dumped it down the sink. Even though it's only one beer, and light to boot, it felt good to not succumb to it for once. I hope you are enjoying your evening, or morning, wherever you may be.

[tammie]

I need some sober friends....

day 2 still af

[Juja]

I need some sober friends....

Mornin' SunnyG, Tammi, lolab, moots and DG,

Just a quick hello before work....

SunnyG and tammi: Congrats! You're making progress.:goodjob:

lolab and DG: Great advice as usual. Thanks.

moots: I like "do only what you really need to do" in the early days of sobriety. Thoughtful advice.

Day 6 for me. Unbelievable. I'll check in tonight, if I'm not too tired.

Have a good day all.

[lolab]

I need some sober friends....

Juja - not really so unbelievable - at least to me ...you didn't just say "the hell with this" and run away - this is your journey and you've done it in your own time.

I love love love mootsbill's and doggygirl's (always!) advice...

Have you read doggygirl's story? You should read it in the My Story section. Next time you have time to kill! :H It's a long one but totally worth it.

tammie - you're doing great - when you feel like it, tell us more about yourself.

sunny, great job on dumping that beer out.

Do you have something interesting to drink for the next few days? Juice or fizzy stuff? I like selzer with a splash of something mixed in - lemon, lemonade, cranberry....

[Sunnygirl]

I need some sober friends....

Good morning everyone. Keep up the good work Tammie and Juja.

This morning I woke up again way before the alarm to stir over this past weekend's binge, and made myself sick. I'm feeling really bad about it. The shame is so overwhelming it didn't let me go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried to change the subject in my head. Any suggestions on dealing with shame that just creeps up on you, before it gets the best of you?

[lolab]

I need some sober friends....

Hi sunny....my only suggestion is to give it time....You can't undo it - and absolutely everything in your life is going to look more dismal for the first few days - with alcohol still in the picture, it just does....Once you've got it out of your system and feel positive that you're making changes that won't let you make those same mistakes again, then the world will seem like a much brighter place. You will feel in control instead of alcohol being in control.

We've all been in your shoes...I've done such idiotic things while drinking....I can even wonder if everything that I can ever remember doing - that I regret - could possibly be traced to my drinking.

Once you're out of the nightmare, just knowing that you were there, once - helps you to appreciate that you found your way out.

[lolab]

I need some sober friends....

not to mention that your sleep will be disrupted for a little bit as you adjust to no alcohol...so - try to plan for a few nights of "not so great" sleep - have a book to pick up or a program to watch - or hop on here - to keep your mind off those feelings of regret.

[Juja]

I need some sober friends....

What a crappy day, and it had nothing to do with al! I hope everyone's day was better than mine.

I'd vent, but I've burned two finger tips and can't type. Lucky you!

Have a safe evening all.

I have no cravings, and day 6 almost down. Go figure.

[Sunnygirl]

I need some sober friends....

Juja, sorry about your bad day. But congrats on your 6 days.....that is so cool.

Lolab thanks for the words of advice. My day turned out to be ok but I couldn't help but think, as I struggled to concentrate, how much clearer my head could be if I could stay sober. I feel like I really want to stay sober. But just as I was walking my dog after work, one glance at the sunset and I thought about drinking again! My mind just goes there. But I'm not going to do it. I just wanted to post and say hi to everyone. Wash the dishes even though I don't feel like it, and lay in bed with my book Lit. Has anybody read it? It's a memoir of an alcoholic woman. It's pretty good. Oh but I plan on reading Doggygirl's story first.

[Nelz]

I need some sober friends....

Heya SG


Ill be a sober friend with ya! :welcome:

[lolab]

I need some sober friends....

Hey....Juja, I hope today is a better day for you...

sunny, you know what? I'm just past 1 yr sober and I STILL have those thoughts hit me out of nowhere. So be prepared - they don't just stop....but the do get much easier to handle and they aren't nearly as frequent...In the beginning, I was in my car ready to go buy vodka before I even knew what hit me - but now I just shake my head and go "wow, really?" and wait for my scatterbrain to move on to the next topic.:H

I'll add Lit to my list. When the snow comes, I'll have more reading time! maybe?

[Juja]

I need some sober friends....

Lo--I've been off the boards for awhile, and had no idea you've been AF for a year. Wow. What an achievement, and that it is. Congrats. I hope I can get there one day.

SunnyG--I know the feeling of seeing a beautiful sunset after a fine day, and thinking about drinking. Why don't we think of something else? What did we do at those times before we started drinking to celebrate or relax? I don't remember, but I'm trying to create a new path in my brain for just those occasions.

Nelz--thanks for checking in on our thread. I have always coveted the famous Nelz star... You're a kind and thoughtful man. Thanks for being there.

SunnyG again--See, you have sober friends!:l Maybe I don't need to be a lonely bird in a tree (avatar), either. I've felt that way all my life, even though I've always had friends. Odd, that.

Working on Day 7, as pressures for the upcoming family weekend mount. It won't be a good one, I can assure you. Too much going on with elderly parents, and normally absent, but controlling siblings all at parents' home. I must be strong. I have a plan, though, so I hope I can cope.

My sister just asked me if I were bringing the AL. I told her I hadn't drunk for 6 days, and wasn't bringing AL. She said good for you. She's heard it before so doesn't put much stock in my statement, I'm sure.

Have a good day all. :lipstick::lipstick:

[K9Lover]

I need some sober friends....

Hi Sunnygirl!

I just wanted to pop in and say Hi and welcome! I had sort of a crappy day yesterday too...the good news is, they come and go. As our beloved Byrdie always says, you'll rarely (if ever) have TWO bad days in a row!

I hear ya' on the drinking thoughts...I am 297 days sober and yesterday was a HOT day and a nice beer outside sounded so good...the thing is, I've never had ONE beer in my whole life. If I have one, I'll have at least 12! Don't be discouraged by the thoughts...that's all they are, thoughts. A craving never killed anybody, and a craving never lasts as long as a hangover (or regret). Push the thoughts aside, read and post around here, keep yourself distracted any way possible. You WILL get through it.

Hang in there Sober Friend!

K9

[Sunnygirl]

I need some sober friends....

I appreciate all my new sober friends.

The words of encouragement and advice are so inspirational to me. You can't even imagine how good I feel right now. My goal is to carry this feeling through my evening which is my tough time, especially for a Thursday night. But I just keep playing the rest of the movie in my head when I think of picking up a drink, that I will be wasted tonight by that one drink.

K9, Lolab, Juja and Nelz thanks again for being my friend.

Lolab: I tried looking for Doggygirls story on My Section but couldn't even find the section. Duh. But I found yours and loved it. You said something about the body detoxes with pain and it intrigued me. Is that true because my kidneys and liver have been aching all week! How do you get to My Section?

Nelz: R u a motogp fan, or is that u in the pic? Thanks friend.