I decided...

[merry]

I decided...

good on you both with the heat wave we are having here it would be quiet easy to go and have one
but I'll go with the ....I don't need to poison my self anymore ....like it

[decided]

I decided...

Morning Merry! Thank you, and you definatly don't need to poison yourself anymore! Besides a heatwave is a great chance of you to drink liters of water and get yourself a good sweat going! Flush out some of those residual toxins right? You probably already know this but it takes years for the body to really rid itselelf of all the damage as the alcohol becomes bart of every structure of your body! SO GROSS. I'm going back to the gym to get my sustem boosed In the detox and repair mode today, planning on sweating out as much of this crap as I can!!! Lol. What are you up to today?

[merry]

I decided...

good for you undecided
i have a full day planned
another day notched up
day 9 now will be in double didgets to-morrow

[decided]

I decided...

WOotWOooooT! That's awesome Merry! Do you have a thread where u post ur progress we can follow? If not let me know what your up to

[Hippyman]

I decided...

DO NOT CHANGE YOUR MIND!

[decided]

I decided...

Hey Merlot, I felt trapped up until the minute I did it. Tonight I'm dealing with one of my triggers ( a guy). And its NOT all roses. None the less I just know it would be worse is I drank again. Just do it for tonight. Decide not to poison your mind tonight. I suffered from. Axiety and depression for over a decade, and I used alcohol to fix it for jus as long. Fuy thing is, when I stoped so did the rest of it.

The bad news is your a prisoner, the good news is your the guard

I've been talking to myself since friday lol non stop checking in with my thoughts feeling and body, staying one step ahead. Someone here said " stop acting like a drunk and you'll stop thinking like one. Its true. A drunk drinks a non drunk find other ways to deal. And I promis you its easier to find solutions to everyday things and even big things when your not drunk or hung over. Feel free to come post here as often as you want its always nice to have others share there little breakthroughs.( That's all it is really, a series of little victories and realizations.)

So don't drink tonight and prep your detox plan for tomorrow. Then go get the stuff you need to support that plan and move on to life. Xxxxxx

[decided]

I decided...

Hi Hippy!!! Lol thank you...I can't justify it aymore! Now that I see what its like not to drink I simply can see the point or benifit. Truth is even if it makes me forget for now, whatever it is will still be there tonmorrow...except the poison will make it harder to deal with and move on from. When I was drinking I was in a negative cycle of the same thoughts and memories...even adding to them with my drunkin behaviour.

I have a chance now...and I don't want to et it go. I have life and energy now, I smile for real now, I laugh out loud alone and I dance and sing on my way home. I know it won't be like this everyday, but at least sober there's a chance. As a drunk. It simply will never happen.

As for moderating. I don't want to. I don't like the taste of alcohol not do I like the tipsy feeling ( who the hell want to be a bit dizzy and uncoordinated for an hour?) Getting drunk causes me problems in ever area of my life so that's not all that apealing.

I'm a bit board right now, and I'm getting restless as I'm use to being on my way down the rabbits hole by now! Lol but I had such a productive day and can see my goals in reach so why not hang out here for a while and catch up on some well need recouperation

[decided]

I decided...

Merlot! I forgot to mention that when we suffer from anxiety and or depression, we tend to think no one realllly gets it, that our case is worse. So I wanted you to know that I was on 2 diffrent medications for social and generalized axiety. Nothing worked better than quitting all substances. Even now I still smike cigaretts and I'm realizing that I feel anxious after I smoke! (The booze must of been covering that up too)

[decided]

I decided...

Good for you! Let the detox begin!!! I sweat my ars off for...well I'm still sweating but not half as much at night. Lol I get dull headachs around drinking time, I'm thursty, get the tiniest bit of axiety once in a while but it lasts half a second now, a little shakey before when I first started moving around a couple days ago, a bit groggy, and felt like eating quit a bit! I went out and got the suppliments I needed ( vitamins CED and bcomplex, and went backfor melatonin) I got some epson salts to help soak out some of the crap in the bath, I did some groceries and loaded up on berries, spinach, brocolie, fresh juice, water, tuna and salmon, eggs, carrotts, popsicles . On day four as tired and sluggish as I was I made myself go to the gym to sweat and stimulate my metabolism so I could spead up the detox and repair process and the after workout feeling was amazing, calm relaxed yet with energy and a sense of happiness and pride!

Everytime I do even a simple "normal thing" that I didn't do or didn't do well while drinking I feel happy and proud, and that keeps me going when I feel that little voice trying to take control.

When you do it you realize its not that crazy! Drinking poison ,embarassing yourself, lettinf life pass you buy and and thinking booze is saving you from anxiety instead of perpetuating it???...that's a little nuts. Lol but you'll see what I mean when you try it.

The withdrawls are not a tenth as bad as I had imagined they would be. I almost thought thwere was something wrong with me because I'm so damn happy. ( that's how used to being an axious depressed drunk I was). Even my big triggers that would have me drowing in booze don't seem like such a big deal now that the booze isint around to cloud my judgement and thinking.

So what's your plan?

[paulywogg]

I decided...

youre in a good place decided,im happy for you,stick with it!

[decided]

I decided...

Thanks Pauly! Doing everything I can, don't know if ill get this chance ever again. Lol wanted it so badly for so long! How have you been?

[decided]

I decided...

Having my first piss off...not fun. At all. I know ill get over it but I'm still contemplating telling someone to get the f out of my life, or waiting it out until I calm down and can be more rational. At least I remebered that I wouldn't have a choice if I followed my instinct to go to the store. All that would amount to is me calling someone in a drunkin rage, then having to spend a week riddled with axiety and feeling like insicure crap about it, and I scramble to try and fix my mistake digging me deeper into the hole. And yes I'm currently talking myself out of it. Lol

[merry]

I decided...

keep talking to yourself their not worth having a drink over
keep up the good work
well i finally made double digest 10 days whooo

[paulywogg]

I decided...

good for you decided! its hard especially being pissed off,but youve come so far and youre doing great! we arent doing day 1 again no way,be strong!

[decided]

I decided...

:ey merry! Congrats!!! 4 days and ill be joining you. Pauly your right no way I'm doing it again. I've been thinking abouit it and I realized that when I shift my attention, I don't think about ii it bothers me less, so instead of wallowing in my anger, I'm thinking about my goals and tomorrows plans and talking to friends...like normal people do. Lol that person may have pissed me off, but its my choice to stay mad. And if I staay mad, I'm at risk of drinking. So...I guess I decide to let it go and move on. Man...this place really does help! Just writing it out helps makes things more clear . Thanks guys!