Newbie needing advice

[Cleo Night]

I was on 15-20 drinks or so a day..cant say for sure cause at that point I wasn't counting. This is guesswork based on what I was going through, would'nt have been less..could have been more some nights. Morning cravings, shakes all day, sometimes day drinking etc..

Last time I quit cold turkey was months ago for two days, it wasnt really intentional, more a in hospital on new meds and told not to drink by people who didnt know I had an alchohol problem cause I didnt really know I had such a problem. But back then I was not day drinking, not on meds I am now, and prob drinking closer to 10-15 a day. My vitamin levels were low but not sick as I am now. but two days no alchohol..never been so sick, terrible shakes as in close to convulsing and ended up in hospital.

When I got home ended up starting up drinking again and got to the point I am at now. Last couple weeks realised how sick I am. Finally realised I have been not just binge drinking but drinking daily basis half my life apart from when I was pregnant and odd few days or so. And getting worse. Realised I am an alcoholic. But scared of medical complications of cold turkey (including kindling etc) and cant do medical detox as I have kids. So I started tapering. Went from 15-20 several days ago, to now only 7-8.

But starting to struggle..and see these last few will be the worst to taper. Especially as I have been very depressed atm and have a lot going on. I get to a few and want more, been able to stop at around 7 but having trouble going down from that and still tempted to keep on after that much, determination I have to quit has stopped me so far but scared of falling into my old patterns.

So am asking advice..what is a safe level to taper off from...that will not lend complications like severe withdrawls/dts/kindling etc and leave my unable to complete what I need to do on a daily basis as I am a single mum with 3 kids? Thinking I might have to just stop as hard as I know that will be..or drop straight down to just one drink to help worst of the withdrawl symptoms. If anyone has any advice on this it would be greatly appreciated. :thanks:

[kuya]

Newbie needing advice

You should get medical advice really.

I think your main problem is lack of vitamins and minerals and amino acids are making your symptoms worse. I would STAY at seven and get the complete package you can order from here and start those. Then you could start to drop from seven once you have done some repair.

Find a source of alcohol where you can buy ONLY seven and buy it every day. That way you take away the risk of drinking more. Start drinking later in the evening after the kids are safely in bed and you know your mum can deal with any problems ( you said your mum lives in the flat below right?) and stick at 7 till you feel better and stronger. Then QUIT.

[Cleo Night]

Newbie needing advice

Thankyou so much Kuya! :l I am on lots of vitamins/supplements etc but I agree that would not be helping. My last blood test showed me to be defficient in a few things (ie b12, folate, d). Will go get a new blood test done tomorrow if possible and try to get back to my doctor soon.

And I like your idea. Think it would be good to let my body adjust and start to recover and then quit cold if I can do so with minimal symptoms and risk as possible. Problem is I can not get out every day and nowhere close enough to get it easily if I could (not that I am in the sticks but dont have my licence). And my mum does have her own flat under me but she is more of a hindrance then a help. She is critical of me, comes up for dinner only (which I cook) then goes back down. And she is prob. a bit of a trigger in that she always has a glass of wine with dinner and I got used to that idea too. So its hard for me to not start drinking with dinner. I know I have to stop though

Only problem with ordering the package from here is lack of funds and I am in Australia but already on some of the stuff, inc. milk thistle etc, gonna get the kudzu next time I am out and whatever else I can find.

[Siren136]

Newbie needing advice

Good advice from Kuya (as always ). What I would do is only drink to stave off the symptoms. So instead of knowing I could drink, say 7 drinks a night, I would not plan to drink at all. If my symptoms got too bad, I would have a drink and a glass of water and see how I felt. If one drink didn't help enough I would have another and then wait again.

So basically treat it like medicine - only take what you need to avoid wd symptoms and stop as soon as you can.

I don't know if this is good advice or bad, but it's worked for me in the past. My biggest problem isn't the wd symptoms anymore, but the boredom and just plain habit of having a drink in my hand.

[paulywogg]

Newbie needing advice

excellent advice from kuya and siren,ive always drank about as much as you,quitting cold turkey was out of the question,get the kudzu asap it really helped me cut down then i just didnt want any,but definetly follow your taper plan,go down not up ever

[K9Lover]

Newbie needing advice

Hi Cleo and welcome!

I agree that you should SLOWLY taper and stick to 7 for a little while, then you should be able to stop. I know (boy do I know!) it's not easy...but it CAN be done. Is there any way you can see a doctor? That would be the BEST way, but if not, tapering should work, as long as it doesn't lead back to 15+. Take care of yourself...and stick close to us so we know how you're doing!

K9

[Cleo Night]

Newbie needing advice

Thanks so much guys Off today to have a blood test, docs tommorow. And today...if I dont chicken out..my first AA meeting. Unfortunately the closest meeting for me is not in the best of areas so I am even more nervous. Will let you know if I get there. And last night managed not to go over the 7, just went to bed early to avoid the temptation..phew

[K9Lover]

Newbie needing advice

Good job Cleo!

Bed was the answer for me MANY times. I'd just get in and read a book, or look at old pictures, or polish my nails....I never drank in bed, so that was a "safe" place. Find your safe spot and go there! Good luck with AA, don't feel bad if that meeting doesn't work out...there are others if that's what you want to do :l

[kuya]

Newbie needing advice

Well done Cleo.......you WILL get better :h

Going to the doctor and AA meetings shows commitment , and commitment get results

[K9Lover]

Newbie needing advice

How are you doing today Cleo??

[Cleo Night]

Newbie needing advice

Thanks so much again Kuya and thankyou for asking after me K9Lover! I really appreciate it feel kind of alone right now. Still havent worked up the courage to tell anyone in my immediate family..
Went to the AA it wasnt too bad. Luckily my blood tests were pretty much ok. My doctor prescribed me on top of my usual antidepressant, valium on a reducing dose and then campril, b12 injections as well as updating my psych referral..
Had a mini breakdown in nearest public loo after I picked all the meds up and had the pharmacist explaining its use and realising how final this all is and how much my life is going to change and how much I have yet to go through. Ashamed, embaressed, scared to tell my family Really stressed right now.
Just not sure when I should start the campril, if I should try and taper more before I stop cold, like say 3 more days 5, 3, 1 if I can manage. I'll admit I'm starting to struggle with the taper but think I will be going just as bad cold the rest of the way. And have so much going on next couple weeks, no support, etc etc...sigh sorry for the rant =(

[hadit]

Newbie needing advice

Cleo, Rant all you want mate!! Just stay close to MWO. There are so many wonderful people here. Good Luck! I wish I could offer some advice to help you, but I am in serious truoble myself with al. Can only hope you find peace!

[Cleo Night]

Newbie needing advice

naw best of luck and hugs boozer! and thankyou.

[hadit]

Newbie needing advice

Cleo, Shouldn,t you ask your Dr when to start Campral ? I started it immediatley and was still drinking. There were no side effects. Good Luck with it! Being an alcoholic can be very lonely indeed. I have allways tried to protect my beautiful family from any hurt, so I pretty much keep my problem with AL to myself. I have tried to discuss my drinking problem with my wife but because I am not completely honest with her,she doesn,t think I am an alcoholic. Her parents were heavy drinkers and she probably thinks heavy drinking is the norm. She doesn,t no the torture I live each day with sly drinking and all the bullshit that goes with being alcoholic..........I just dont want to hurt her! :l:l:l:l

[hadit]

Newbie needing advice

Hugs to you to Cleo!!! While you are here at MWO you are admitting you have a problem with AL and as they say that is the first step to recovery!! :l:l:l