This is it.......

[No More Excuses]

This is it.............. it really has to be............

I first found MWO in 2008 when my life was in turmoil and I felt I had to get a handle on my drinking before it got a handle on me! I got the book, CDs, supplements and medication (that really didn't agree with me!) - somehow it's 2013 and nothing has changed - in fact it's got worse.

I'm now drinking about 2 bottles of wine per night and it's affecting my whole life. I don't sleep well, I don't exercise because I'm too tired (or I'd rather come home & pour a glass of wine) & I have put on 4 stone in weight over the last couple of years & can't shift it. I joined Weight Watchers but they don't really factor in the calories from 2 bottles a night so unless I stop eating (which of course I can't - wine = big, unhealthy dinners, takeaways & lots of snacks) that's not going to work. I'm in my 40's, divorced & very lonely but, 4 stone heavier than normal, I have no self-confidence so no way I can do the dating thing.

There's a chance of a big promotion at work coming up which I'd really need to study for but how can I do that when I spend my evenings in a fuzzy haze?

Both last week & this week, due to travelling, I had an alcohol free night - how great did I feel in the morning? I actually slept without sweating and woke up feeling great and ready for the world. Why can't I do that all the time?

Why today, why now though?

Last night was spectacular. My mum phoned upset about a relative who's really ill. She accused me of having been drinking (she was right) and I hung the phone up on her. I only know this because I spoke to my sister this morning & she told me. My two teenage children had beans on toast because I dropped their dinner (a lovely casserole) on the kitchen floor. I went to bed - well, passed out - about 8pm but not before my daughter had shot me a disgusted look around the bedroom door.

I am utterly ashamed of myself this morning. Profuse apologies have been given to chidren & mum but I think I have really, really, really had enough of this.

Sorry, that was an outpouring but, I suppose, really helpful to remind myself why I'm on here.

I've dug out the book & CDs and ordered all of the vitamins & supplements I don't already have. Any suggestions as to where to go from here would be really good?

:new:

[free at last]

This is it.......

Dear No More Excuses,
Welcome to MWO. There's a group of us who are working are working to remove alcohol from our lives. The posts are the 311 club -- you are welcome to join us.

Also, Snowflake started a thread - Day 1 Need Company--Please and Thanks. You might find it inspirational to follow her progress. She started out not thinking she could get past day 1 and is now on day 32. I joined her link, went 9 consecutive days AF, and now am motivated to go even longer. But, still taking it ODAT.

I find that staying close, posting my intentions, lots of soda water with lime, three good meals, and exercise is helping keep the cravings away.

Glad you found us.

[free at last]

This is it.......

meant to say -- welcome BACK to MWO. And, glad you found us AGAIN.

Not enough coffee for me yet!

[nonamegirl]

This is it.......

HI, No more excuses...

Hey, we must have passed each other in the hall... I was here in 2008, too, under a different name. (I couldn't remember my log-in, so invented a new one.) And yes, I also have been up and down quite a dang bit in the years in between. But here's what I want to tell you now. YOU ARE HERE! YOU HAVE COME BACK TO THE RIGHT PLACE!

I am glad you have gotten out the cds and the book, etc. You encourage me to dig my cds out again, too. I am now on Day 13 AF, and some days are better than others, but on the dark days I think the self-hypnosis (or meditation or whatever you want to call it) might really help. Thank you for reminding me of them!

So, it sounds to me as if you have made the right first steps. You have come back here. You have apologized to the folks you needed to (Whew! That's a big one, that is. I am proud of you for that.) You have said to yourself that you want to make changes. AND CHANGES WILL HAPPEN, I am very very sure of it. The changes might not all be in a straight line, and they might not all happen at once, but you have taken a good first step.

Here is my little philosophy on life, on exercise and on getting myself over this beast...Step by step in the right direction. We CAN do this thing. :l:h:l:h:

[K9Lover]

This is it.......

Welcome back NoMore!

I'm glad you've found your way back to us. I remember all too well those evenings like the one you described. I'd wake up in the morning having NO clue of what had happened the night before. Scrambling for the phone and computer to see who I'd called/texted/emailed...then the embarrassment of seeing it. It all became too much. I was finally able to quit when drinking became harder than not drinking.

You already know you like the feeling of not drinking, now you just need to find a replacement in the evenings. Staying busy is very important in the beginning. Go to bed early if you have to, just get through the day. Each day gets easier. And stick close to us, we can help!

Welcome back!

K9

[Wagoneer]

This is it.......

Welcome back NM! You have totally come to the right place. Oh the dreaded wine! I am a wino from way back. On day 16 today after falling off the wagon after 11 months free of the blasted AL. I feel great and damned if I am falling off again. It was really hard to climb back on this time! Do everything you can to get a few sober days under your belt - you will be amazed at the change. Talk honestly with your Mom and kids and have them help you as well. Make it a family affair. It is just not worth the hassle, is it? It is very freeing once you make a decision. I have not regretted it - although I am not going to lie that the siren song does not call me every so often....but I let the machine pick up! As K9 said, staying busy is KEY! And get away from your triggers. For the first few days, I went to bed early saying I had a headache, just to get out of my drinking zone. It worked! It is amazing how much time we waste in a alkie haze. Best best best of luck to you. Please keep posting and reading. We are here for you! SO happy that you are here!

Your new friend, Waggy

[NoSugar]

This is it.......

Wagoneer;1477586 wrote: Welcome back NM! You have totally come to the right place. Oh the dreaded wine! I am a wino from way back. On day 16 today after falling off the wagon after 11 months free of the blasted AL. I feel great and damned if I am falling off again. It was really hard to climb back on this time! Do everything you can to get a few sober days under your belt - you will be amazed at the change. Talk honestly with your Mom and kids and have them help you as well. Make it a family affair. It is just not worth the hassle, is it? It is very freeing once you make a decision. I have not regretted it - although I am not going to lie that the siren song does not call me every so often....but I let the machine pick up! As K9 said, staying busy is KEY! And get away from your triggers. For the first few days, I went to bed early saying I had a headache, just to get out of my drinking zone. It worked! It is amazing how much time we waste in a alkie haze. Best best best of luck to you. Please keep posting and reading. We are here for you! SO happy that you are here!

Your new friend, Waggy

Hi, Waggy

You sound so upbeat - that is great! Wine was my drug of choice, also. Maybe because it is a socially acceptable beverage for women, we're told of its health "benefits", etc. I was sure able to rationalize my consumption (and seemed to convince myself against all evidence to the contrary that if 1 glass is good, a bottle is better...).

You may have posted somewhere what happened to derail you after 11 months of being AF. Can you point me to that? (Or, if you didn't post that and don't want to write about it -- that certainly is fine !).

I don't have much experience with any of this (other than my own recovery, which is in its infancy), and am trying to understand what causes the relapses --- by clearly knowledgeable, intelligent people who on at least some level are happy to be sober. It doesn't seem logical but then, nothing about being addicted to alcohol is logical, is it?

I'm glad you are here! NS

[satz123]

This is it.......

Oh Dear I could have written that post 12 months ago.
I began by posting here every day & reading how folks could actully live normal lives without alcohol.
I would say it took me about 3 months and by then it seemed I was as I like 'brainwashed' by the lovely 'Army ' people & ready to go 1 night without the wine.
Then it was two - then on & on.
I am not completely out of the woods yet - I have gone back to alcohol for holidays 3 times since last July - but that is MY next hurdle and I know I have the support of folks on here to get over that.

If I can do it - you can ! I was terrified of even 1 night without 'my friend' - I took the plunge and carried on from there. That lovely feeling you describe waking up guilt free etc. I treasure that still. Now I am in the gym at 7am most mornigs - unheard of this time 6 months ago

Take the time to plan your evenings and as Waggy above says - go to bed if you have to - eat a big meal - to stop the wanting to open that bottle. You can address the weight when the alcohol is gone. The days will begin to add up.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Come over to the 'Army Thread' if you need to - some 'dodgy' Scottish fellers over there - but a good laugh and full of support :H

[No More Excuses]

This is it.......

Thank you all soooo much for your messages. Looking about the site I can see that everyone is really friendly & supportive - I'm hoping this is just what I need. You're absolutely right about staying busy. Sometimes I've opened the bottle just out of sheer boredom or because its habit to drink at that time or during that activity (e.g doing the ironing) not because I wanted or needed a drink. I can see going to bed early with a good book on the horizon too!

Any tips for coping at the weekend. I think this will be hardest as this will be when I believe I've really 'deserved' a drink after a hard working week

[NoSugar]

This is it.......

No More Excuses;1477529 wrote: This is it.............. it really has to be............

I first found MWO in 2008 when my life was in turmoil and I felt I had to get a handle on my drinking before it got a handle on me! I got the book, CDs, supplements and medication (that really didn't agree with me!) - somehow it's 2013 and nothing has changed - in fact it's got worse.

I'm now drinking about 2 bottles of wine per night and it's affecting my whole life. I don't sleep well, I don't exercise because I'm too tired (or I'd rather come home & pour a glass of wine) & I have put on 4 stone in weight over the last couple of years & can't shift it. I joined Weight Watchers but they don't really factor in the calories from 2 bottles a night so unless I stop eating (which of course I can't - wine = big, unhealthy dinners, takeaways & lots of snacks) that's not going to work. I'm in my 40's, divorced & very lonely but, 4 stone heavier than normal, I have no self-confidence so no way I can do the dating thing.

There's a chance of a big promotion at work coming up which I'd really need to study for but how can I do that when I spend my evenings in a fuzzy haze?

Both last week & this week, due to travelling, I had an alcohol free night - how great did I feel in the morning? I actually slept without sweating and woke up feeling great and ready for the world. Why can't I do that all the time?

Why today, why now though?

Last night was spectacular. My mum phoned upset about a relative who's really ill. She accused me of having been drinking (she was right) and I hung the phone up on her. I only know this because I spoke to my sister this morning & she told me. My two teenage children had beans on toast because I dropped their dinner (a lovely casserole) on the kitchen floor. I went to bed - well, passed out - about 8pm but not before my daughter had shot me a disgusted look around the bedroom door.

I am utterly ashamed of myself this morning. Profuse apologies have been given to chidren & mum but I think I have really, really, really had enough of this.

Sorry, that was an outpouring but, I suppose, really helpful to remind myself why I'm on here.

I've dug out the book & CDs and ordered all of the vitamins & supplements I don't already have. Any suggestions as to where to go from here would be really good?

:new:

Welcome, NoMoreExcuses!

I sure had a lot of excuses, too! MWO is a great place for facing the facts. I'm so glad you came back. I think we all should plan not to leave!! My accountability here has made all the difference this time. So, if it wasn't your approach in 2008, maybe this time you could commit to reading and posting often. Doing that seems to help you get into the frame of mind to really just DO IT this time. You are worth it!! AL is the one blocking those opportunities you feel like you are missing. Once he is gone, your life is back in YOUR hands!

Have you visited the Newbies Nest (link below)? With people at all stages of recovery there, you sure get a lot of support and some very helpful perspectives.

Have a great AF day!

NS

[katiekatlyn]

This is it.......

I am new here too, I found mwo researching how to at home detox. My heart goes out to so many of you. I will be praying for you all as I ask for guidance for myself.

[satz123]

This is it.......

No More Excuses;1477592 wrote: Thank you all soooo much for your messages. Looking about the site I can see that everyone is really friendly & supportive - I'm hoping this is just what I need. You're absolutely right about staying busy. Sometimes I've opened the bottle just out of sheer boredom or because its habit to drink at that time or during that activity (e.g doing the ironing) not because I wanted or needed a drink. I can see going to bed early with a good book on the horizon too!

Any tips for coping at the weekend. I think this will be hardest as this will be when I believe I've really 'deserved' a drink after a hard working week

NME - don't worry about the weekend yet.
Just think about today & tomorrow first.
I know this is not what you want to hear - but wine is NOT your friend so don't reward yourself with it!
You are the one who will suffer in the end.
Some wise person on here gave advice : Think it through to the end.
From the first glass - nice - then the second - the bottle. The second bottle. The horrible waking at 4am - the tiredness / the fuzzy sick feeling in the morning.
Is that a 'reward' for a week's work ?

[Wagoneer]

This is it.......

NoSugar;1477589 wrote: Hi, Waggy

You sound so upbeat - that is great! Wine was my drug of choice, also. Maybe because it is a socially acceptable beverage for women, we're told of its health "benefits", etc. I was sure able to rationalize my consumption (and seemed to convince myself against all evidence to the contrary that if 1 glass is good, a bottle is better...).

You may have posted somewhere what happened to derail you after 11 months of being AF. Can you point me to that? (Or, if you didn't post that and don't want to write about it -- that certainly is fine !).

I don't have much experience with any of this (other than my own recovery, which is in its infancy), and am trying to understand what causes the relapses --- by clearly knowledgeable, intelligent people who on at least some level are happy to be sober. It doesn't seem logical but then, nothing about being addicted to alcohol is logical, is it?

I'm glad you are here! NS

I can't remember where I mentioned it, but my sister, who is my best friend, had back surgery and they clipped her vena cava artery and she almost died - she was in a coma for a week and they did not hold much hope for her. I was so destraught that I caved....nothing horrible....but drank nonetheless. She recovered, by the grace of God, and for that I am thankful. SO of course, I celebrated (hello alkie-brain!) I am not a pass-out kinda drunk, but I am a one bottle a night gal...and I started to hide it. RED FLAG. I never drove, never drank in the morning, blah blah blah, but I come from a long line of drunks and knew I was on my way. Of course, it did not stop me. 16 days ago I just said "That's freakin enough, woman", slapped myself in the head and that was that. It is a struggle for me, not gonna lie, but I have too much to live for you be a lush. That's my story and I am sticking to it...lol. But it really is my story :H

[almost free]

This is it.......

Hi No More Excuses, Welcome back! I can't add much to what everyone else has said. I can only say it is nice to meet you and so glad you are here! You will make lots of caring, supportive friends here.

KatieKatlyn, welcome to you, too. That is exactly how I found MWO. So glad I did. You will find so many kind and encouraging friends here. Join us over in the Newbie's Nest, under "Just Starting Out'. I usually hang over there and just happened to be wandering around today. I was in and out of AA for years, got two years of sobriety, went out, struggled for three more years and then found my way here. There is a link in my signature about tapering that I just found recently. Read back in the nest, to get to know us, post, so we can get to know you. There is a mwo book available here to download, cds, lots of threads about meds, supplements, etc. as well as strategies for staying sober from people all over the world. So glad you joined us!

p.s. just got back from the newbie's nest, where you just posted. You mentioned your liver. There is a person here that claims that something called ornithine aspartate was the best liver detox he ever used. I have never heard of it. I have always used milk thistle, available at any health food store. I believe the therapeutic dose is 750mg per day. I used to take the 150mg capsules, 5, spread out 3 times a day. It detoxes the liver, intercepts free radicals and helps to regenerate new liver tissue. Get a brand that is not generic i.e. a brand with a good reputation. Lots of water with lots of fresh lemon juice squeezed in, also helps to detox the liver. It also alkalinizes the system (a good thing) and rehydrates the body. Hope this helps.

[nicelife]

This is it.......

Hi there NME - well, I'm certain your living my past life!!! AND, it really wasn't that much fun....

I really do feel for you. I truly know the merry-go-round you're on and it is a lonely, sad and soul destroying place.

I think there are so many wise words in the responding post, so I won't add much more.

It is hard to break the cycle. The old cliche is so true - nothing worth 'fighting' for is easy. This will feel like a fight when you first start, but the more AF days you can get under your belt the better you will feel and the more you will WANT to be AF.

I went to my doctor with the MWO book under my arm and plan. He was so supportive and I got a script for Campral. It helped. I also had to attend an outpatient program which wasn't pleasant but hey, I wanted to beat this no matter what.

That is key - you have to WANT an alternate life to what you're struggling with. You have to WANT it more than anything else.

Just start with what you can manage, slowly build your resolve if you're not feeling you can manage jumping into the deep end right now.

I'm more than happy to help you in any way I can. Everyone here will help.....it is a magical place. Full of love, support, kindness and at times can give us the kick in the butt we need.

The life you are yearning isn't that far away.....you've taken the first step! Steps after this lead you to a place of freedom, clarity and pride.....

Hugs to you, and I wish you all the courage and strength on this exciting new journey!

Nicey