I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

[WaitingToExhale]

I am having a very rough time gettings started again after being gone for 4 months ...

Last October I tried mods and was having some pretty good success. Down to 4-6 glasses of wine a day ... which I know stll sounds awful, but was pretty good considering that I have been drinking 2-3 bottles a day for YEARS!

But I never did the 30 AF. I just can't seem to jump into that pool!

Yesterday, instead of my bloody mary in the morning and starting to drink wine at noon, I stayed it off until almost 5PM. Then had about 4 glasses, read here a bit and went to bed. Now that's good ... but I just can't seem to leap to AF.

And I think that was my downfall the last time I tried this. I fear I will never be able to mod and that scares the hell out of me ...

I started back on my vitamins yesterday and took high does of Kudzu through the day. Seemed to really help ..

But this morning I get an awful call regarding my business .. MORE chaos .. ACK it is so hard! I feel if I can't do AF, I will slip away again. But how do I start??

I'm lacking the giddy-up!

WTE

[lushy]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

WTE, if it seems overwhelming right now do not tell yourself you are going to be AF. Just work on cutting down like you have been. Once you feel you have gotten into that groove and you are doing well with it then cut back a little further. Sometimes I think going slow and doing this all in increments is so much more do-able. You can do this. Keep taking the supplements, esp., the kudzu and keep coming around here. It helps.

[marcel]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Lushy gives really good advice, WTE. Baby steps.

[buckledown]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

YOU CAN DO THIS...it seems daunting ...but dont look at the whole journey...just this part of the journey...just your toe in the pool...im on day 4 and i am struggling but the post here are helping...positive affirmations really help me ....and writing down how i want things to be...i feel it can be powerful...it may sound strange but it can work...at least if you do it while youre sober so you can read your hand writing in the morning ....we are here for you...i am new too...i cant evev go into the volumes of alcohol i have been drinking for YEARS and the shame that goes with it...we have all been ther eand we can get out if we believe we can....you should be proud of coimg back....i'm sure that was tough....believe it...you can do it...:h buck

[Breez]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Don't think of the long haul ahead but what's directly in front of you. Take one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. That's a definite overload of stress you don't need. Don't set yourself up for failure. Instead small goals for small successes. You can do it!

[Saint Jude]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Hey Waiting, just being here & asking for help is a great start.:goodjob:

Hang in there with us... just day to day.
Keep taking your supps, reading & posting, before your know it you're right back up in that saddle!

Do something nice for you & someone else today!

:l Judie

[Arial]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Hi WTE,

As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said:
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

- The rest will gradually fall in to place as you find out what works best for you. After years of attempted moderation I found that going AF stopped the whole daily agonizing thing - I don't think about never drinking again - maybe I will, maybe I won't - at the moment AF is just giving me the space I need to re-start my life - So one little step at a time and see where the journey starts leading you!

Glad your here, and good luck! :l

[stollies1]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Hi there Waiting,
But this morning I get an awful call regarding my business .. MORE chaos .. ACK it is so hard! I feel if I can't do AF, I will slip away again. But how do I start??
You start by stopping.Sounds like you were drinking in my league and for drunks like us there are no mods.You can do this,you just have to bite the bullett and do it. As with all the other great advise take it slowly take it one day at a time, let yourself feel crappy, expect all the weird physical symptoms that often come with withdrawls and when one of lifes challenges spits in your eye, stay strong.We are all here for you.There's always someone here day or night.Talk it all out.
Good luck.:l
Victoria xxooxx

[WaitingToExhale]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

How is it some can just STOP .. and bite the bullet? I know we are all different .. and I am answering my own questions ...

I wish I coukd just say ENOUGH! This will no longer be in my life ...

But I play this game with myself of "if I used to drink 2-3 botles a day" .. then 2 bottles in the last two days is grand. I feel proud of that and then sick about it all at the same time...

Lushy .. you touched my day .. as many others did ...

Thank you for the words .. it's keeping me a better space than I have been in a long time.

Baby steps I guess .. I just am afraid of getting stuck on the track again (thanks Fan for your tagline)

OK .. this is just Day 2 .. and it was 2 bottles in two days, so I am not going to feel all bad a regretful and embaressed by it .. it IS a step forward for me.

Anyone with any clues on how to just shut it down all at once .. I SO want to get there. Maybe that is not how it is going to work forr me.

You guys rock ..

Tears and Cheers,

WTE

[Guest]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

WTE,
We all know how hard it is. I had to go to extraordinary lenghs my first week. I left my credit card (accidentally on purpose).. at a friends house and made sure my wallet was empty of cash so I couldnt renig and then go and buy some booze. I emptied the entire house of booze.. totally.. all the secret hidden places.. EVERYTHING.. gone.. even cough medicine.

That day I went to the gym and battered my body like i had never done before. That night I cooked a meal I didnt know how to cook. I put all my wine glasses away in the garage and bought tonic water to drink. I set up some photo albums that needed fixing for an activity cos I didnt know what to do without my wine glss in my hand and I got some meditation cd's. My kids didnt know what had hit.. Dinner was scrumptious and voluminous and early.. and on a dress up dinner table.. and after dinner I was terrified - I was in a cold sweat.. so I went to bed thinking I cant drink if I'm asleep. But in bed, I could only think about drink.. so I put on my cd's... and tried to get myself out of my brain.

Once I'd done one day I just thought there is NO going back cos that was just so awful... But I dont regret it for ONE MOMENT.

Thats what I did.

I'll never forget it. Never.
Brigid

[Popeye]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Hi WTE
I've been really trying to stop since November. The most I've managed is 28 days. I've been around that figure a few times.
But that is only a counting excercise. The real benefit to me is that, where I used to drink 4/5/6 bottles of vodka a week, I'm now on one a week at the very most. I haven't failed by any means. I'm still trying. In fact I'm a great success at moderating so far.
I just have to fine tune things that little bit to get where I really want to be.
Keep trying.

Brigid.:l

[WaitingToExhale]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Wow Brigid! I guess when you finally just get fed up is when you get the courage ... I wish I could "forget" the credit card and cash. Sadly I have a very nice restuarant attached to my shop which I have a trade out with. Yep, within about 20 feet is the bar and you can guess where most of the "trade" goes to .. *sigh*

Also, to just empty the house strike a fear in me. Maybe I do need to take the baby steps for now ..

Popeye, you have come a long ways! Ands love the counter you guys!

OK, feeling a bit more encouraged ...

Can't sleep and have been up since 230AM .. but oh well. Guess that is to be expected since I didn't just pass out last night!

I need to get better at planned an activity in the evening. Living alone makes it just too easy to slip while sitting around watching TV. I'll make that a goal for today .. PLAN SOMETHING!

Hugs to you all ..

WTE

[WaitingToExhale]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Popeye .. a question just crossed my mind ...

After 28 days, what triggers it again? Is it that you know / feel you can mod now?

Sometimes I think instaed of giving myself the excuse of moderating, when I am at the point of being so SICK of it all .. is the time to just jump.

I don't know .. thinking out loud ..

[Lotus]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

WTE

I too found it really hard to start being AF again. The thought of no alcohol in the evening was daunting. I didn't know what I was going to do (as if I did much when I p****ed out of my head anyway!!!).

Like other's have said take baby steps. Some people may find it easier to go cold turkey. If you drink at 5pm try to stretch that to 6pm, then 7pm and so forth. Or have alternative days where you drink and don't. Alternate your drinks with soft drinks. Or why not change your evening routine where you are out and there is no alcohol.

One major thing is that you have said that you want to stop. If it's the cravings then maybe take some supps or listen to the C.D. I personally would reccommend Allen Carr's book Easyway to control alcohol as I find it is a great help to me when I am tempted.

Please keep posting. I wish you all the best.

Love Mandy x

[tea]

I Don't Know How To Get Started Again ...

Hi WTE, all of the above, what is helping me just now is a wee affirmation I say to myself. I am in charge of ME, I say what goes inside ME, I decide etc etc, takes a wee whiley though to get it through to a craving brain but we are all the same here. I wish you and everyone else a silent mind...... well craving silent anyway. You have already 'started again' by being here. Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life. xxxx

Lorna