How to make it a whole year sober!

[sweetpea29]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Congratulations for your one year Allan :wd: Amazing and inspiring

[Wine-no!]

How to make it a whole year sober!

allankay;1550720 wrote: It is a very common problem. I think your tone of voice is very important. If you are too involved in your answer people will pick it up and will try to quiz you about it. Brush it off with a short answer and move on to the next topic. If this person is important to you then I found it helpful to turn the question around and say something like "why is it important to you that I drink?" ....This turns the attention away from you and now that person needs to justify themselves to you not the other way around.



AK

Thanks! Will try that.. This particular person isn't important to me at all - he's got a nasty streak - that's for sure! :l

[Miley]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Congrats on your 1 year and here's to many more! Also, thank you so much for sharing.....I love the 15 minute rule.

[Lavande]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Congrats Allan
Life is so much better without AL!

[vegan]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Well done :clapclap:
I'm coming up to 4 mths AF and will think of u if i get any cravings :yourespecial:
xxx

[broken halo]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Allan, I just noticed that like me, you quit smoking and drinking at the same time. I didn't know at the time if I was being smart or not, but it's working for me so far.

I am so glad you made it this weekend as I was kind of feeling a bit 'what now' as August was coming to an end. I think my quit date was July 5th, so most of July and all of August have been AL and Nic free. You have inspired me to really think long term and feel confident about it. Thank you for sharing your success and your tips with us

[3June2013]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Allan Kay I'm so impressed.

I love your words of wisdom and will take them to heart. I will never have to go through the first 30 days again but I have to agree isolating myself helped a lot. I will pass on your advice to the newbies I meet.

Thanks for sticking around and inspiring us all!

[allankay]

How to make it a whole year sober!

broken halo;1550793 wrote: Allan, I just noticed that like me, you quit smoking and drinking at the same time. I didn't know at the time if I was being smart or not, but it's working for me so far.

I am so glad you made it this weekend as I was kind of feeling a bit 'what now' as August was coming to an end. I think my quit date was July 5th, so most of July and all of August have been AL and Nic free. You have inspired me to really think long term and feel confident about it. Thank you for sharing your success and your tips with us

BH, giving up smoking and drinking at the same time may seem like a tough decision but it worked out well for me too. One habit reinforces the other so you are twice as likely to succeed if you quit both at the same time.

AK

[spiderwoman]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Wine-no!;1550712 wrote: I just wanted to add my congratulations - one year - fantastic!!

I will learn from your advice. Thank you for posting the points that helped you.

I am still really bugged by people quizzing me about not-drinking... There is one bloke who does it every time... He says things like 'why aren't you drinking darling?' Then follows with comments about how he knows I like a drink etc. etc. and how he has only seen my husband drunk once etc. etc. Last time he did this, I told him to just spit out what he was trying to say... Wish I hadn't lost my rag but it really bugs me that he's accusing me of drinking too much on one hand but then questioning why I am not drinking on the other (all of this done when he was pissed by the way). Hmmm. I like the way you say 'why?'.. I really like that.. After all, it's no ones business and why should they be so interested in why we're not drinking? I guess it makes them question their own drinking habits?

Anyway, thanks again and all the best for AF year two!

Wine-No most of my friends and aquaintances are boozers at best and a fair few are alkies who haven't admitted it. I'm now not scared to be a bit confrontational and demand a reason from them as to why I should even consider drinking alcohol again when it is common knowledge it did me no favours. Does the enquirer really want to see me out of control, possibly with a couple of black eyes and covered in bruises yet again. Is it just that if I drink too it makes them more comfortable. I've also asked if my abstinence makes whoever is asking uncomfortable, if so it is their problem not mine. Its a personal choice we make at the end of the day and one you should have the freedom to enjoy. I readily admit I still absolutely love wine and champagne etc and more than likely always will, but it doesn't love me! probably never did.

[witts end]

How to make it a whole year sober!

allankay congrats on the 12mths and also the advise was very good

[spiderwoman]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Bumping this for the newbies, the advice is ace

[13sept]

How to make it a whole year sober!

allankay;1550439 wrote: Tomorrow will be one year since I quit drinking. It has been the best decision I have made in my life. There are no second thoughts or second guesses. I am truly grateful to have achieved what seemed completely impossible the same time last year. I am here to share what has worked for me and hopefully it will help someone on this forum

1) 30 day isolation. The first thirty days are by far the hardest and I decided to completely shield myself from the outside world. Phone off, no going out, no birthdays, parties... Just a lot of posting on MWO. It really helped to know that people were going through the same emotional up and downs as me

2) 15 minute rule. At first it is really hard to imagine a lifetime of sobriety, so instead I allowed myself the possibility to drink again, however, I would have to sit down and think for 15 minutes before buying a drink. To be honest cravings never last that long, thinking about pros and cons, remembering all the horrible things that I did drunk put me off every time, for the duration of a year. By the end of those 15 minutes I would always decided that not drinking is a long term solution to happiness and no amount of alcohol is worth sacrificing it. The longer I went AF the more I had to lose by giving in and the easier it became to say "NO".

3) Social situations. Knowing how to react to peoples questions about your sobriety. It was very hard at first and I had to come up with excuses. However, nowadays I am happy just saying "I don't drink" "Why?"
"I just don't"
Most people don't ask again and those that have a problem with it are usually the people that you don't want anything to do with.

Those are the main points that got me through the year. I am a lot happier and more level. I have more disposable income. I feel proud. People can now rely on me.

It is a journey definitely worth taking!!!!

Allan

I dont know that that would work with me 2 many people coming and going and my drinking is usually done alone
when I wasn't drinking I was at a family gathering and said no I don't drink only to find one of the nephews girlfriend swapped my non alcholic drink for hers ...deliberately .....ofcourse i noticed it straight away but they thought it was a good joke
also I have a house full of drinkers coming and going

I'm glad it worked for you

I hope I will be able to say how to conquer it for a year

[Funny Girl]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Inspiring thread. Thanks for sharing such great advice. Congrats to those who have made it for a full year - what an accomplishment!

[Mick]

How to make it a whole year sober!

Hi ak..firstly apologies for missing your one year ..very well done and may there be many more

Secondly, your strategy is good ..mine was very similar tho up to 30 days is def the hardest ..also then all your major milestones..it is REALLY important to remain on the forum irrespective of what thread you are on,because at each of your milestones,you feel so pleased with yourself that you have achieved it,you want to share it and everyone to be happy for you ,whereas in the real world no-one gives a .... because they are so busy ,and secondly they didnt know you had a problem because you never identified it to anyone.
How many times have you heard the phrase "theres such and such ...now he/she likes a good drink",and thats how its seen.
Your 15 min rule is brill..Instead of that I used to think lots of questions ,,and write them down in some cases ,do I need a drink ,benefits of it ,not drinkng what ifs , health , financial, capabilities all sorts of things and just like you say it subsided ..also drink water at the same time...called surfing the crave.
AKthis started as a personal congrats to you so I apologise for woffling on ..but between us if anyone reads this and tries the ideas on this thread and it works then its worthwhile ...best of luck for year 2..btw youll need the brolly in the avatar today!!!:H

[allankay]

How to make it a whole year sober!

13sept;1552522 wrote: I dont know that that would work with me 2 many people coming and going and my drinking is usually done alone
when I wasn't drinking I was at a family gathering and said no I don't drink only to find one of the nephews girlfriend swapped my non alcholic drink for hers ...deliberately .....ofcourse i noticed it straight away but they thought it was a good joke
also I have a house full of drinkers coming and going

I'm glad it worked for you

I hope I will be able to say how to conquer it for a year

13, sounds like you have very little support around. That is very tough. Especially when I heard the story about your nephew's gf swapping drinks. It is way out of line!!!!

I had a choice of removing people like that from my life and I have a completely new circle of friends. I wish I knew what to say but you do not have an option of removing yourself from your family...

I do not understand why they do not show you respect with this life changing decision. Their behaviour is very cruel!

AK