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    #1

    Time to be done with this

    it's pretty sad when you think you are smiling for pictures and someone says "cant you smile"?

    I've been so unhappy for so long. Living with a man that constantly puts me down in front of family and friends. I'm like that song "brave". I suck it down and don't respond because when I do he yells and calls me a drunk. And he's a man that drinks and smokes pot, and is not any better than I am.

    But i'm finally ready to change that. I'm going to stop the insanity and start living for myself.

    I'm going to be brave and tell him to get the hell out even though I need his rent money.

    I guess I need to believe that things will get better if I just stand tall and take control of matters.

    looking forward to getting to know you all, though I've been lurking and feel like I already do!
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    #2
    Time to be done with this

    Hello Tavistock, and Welcome!

    It sounds like you have finally taken the first steps towards something that you probably knew needed to happen long ago. It takes courage to break the vicious cycle and finally say that you have had enough, and that alone is quiet commendable.

    We all have personal problems that are unrelated to alcohol, but those problems become even more intensified and insurmountable when we are not in our right mind to deal with them. I am glad that you have stopped running and decided it is time to make a change. There are some really great folks here that offer fantastic support to those who need it, so you are sure to find people to bounce your emotions, ideas, trials and tribulations, etc. off of.

    I am sure to see you around the nest, and I look forward to more posts
    In the immortal words of Socrates " I just drank what ? "

    AF since August 18, 2013

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      #3
      Time to be done with this

      Thank you so much for your reply. Yes, I know that stopping the insanity of drinking and hiding my emotions behind a bottle will only benefit me.

      I am from a banking background so my worries about paying my bills are intensified and scare me but I cannot let him control me anymore.

      I need to get my house is order and that means to stop drinking. Looking forward to joining this lovely group of people.

      Thanks!

      Comment

        #4
        Time to be done with this

        Tavi - welcome and glad you are here. I lurked for years, but it wasn't until I got real and started fully participating in my recovery that I started to get better. Post often and honestly. It really helps. The people here are amazing. I understand your fears. I was married for a long time, and when it ended, I was terrified. In addition to the emotional devastation, I wondered...how will I pay my bills?? But I found a way, as you will. Stay strong and respect yourself. You deserve love and respect. If you are not getting that in your relationship, then it may be time to move on. Name calling and putting you down in front of others is unacceptable. Hang in there, ok. You have taken a huge step by reaching out. We are here for you.
        Everything is going to be amazing

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          #5
          Time to be done with this

          Tavistock, looking forward to getting to know you. Keep us posted. I think standing up for yourself shows self respect, and shows people how you expect to be treated. Congratulations!
          Newbies Nest
          Toolbox
          My accountability thread

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            #6
            Time to be done with this

            Hi tavistock and:welcome:

            I think you're doing absolutely the right thing getting this man out of your life, how can you possibly be happy if someone's constantly putting you down? You will most likely find he will not be happyvand try and dig his heels in and control the situation......but don't let him! If he us putting you down in front of friends and family then I would imagine that they will breathe a sigh of relief when he is gone.. look to them for support and keep posting here. We will help you.

            Take care x x

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              #7
              Time to be done with this

              I agree get rid of him. In the past nearly all my boyfriends have been heavy drinkers/alcoholics. I am single at the moment and not interested in a relationship until I have been sober for a few months. But if I do get into a relationship again I would not want any involvement with a heavy drinker/alcoholic or any sort of substance misuser as I know it could bring me down. I know it would be distressing .

              Keep in touch, let us know how it goes, sending you strength and a hug.
              New life started on 1st May 2014, One day at a time I will work at continuing it forever!

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                #8
                Time to be done with this

                Stay strong Tavistock....it's worth it....x
                ...peace and quiet....and a cup of tea.....heaven:h

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                  #9
                  Time to be done with this

                  tavistock, I am sorry that you have been put down for all this time. It's true that alcohol doesn't help, it's only a very temporary numbing of pain that is made worse after a drinking session. I am struggling with my husband leaving an I am determined to get on the other side a better, sober person. Lets do this together!

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                    #10
                    Time to be done with this

                    tavistock, I am sorry that you have been put down for all this time. It's true that alcohol doesn't help, it's only a very temporary numbing of pain that is made worse after a drinking session. I am struggling with my husband leaving an I am determined to get on the other side a better, sober person. Lets do this together!

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                      #11
                      Time to be done with this

                      Count me in....we can do this together:groupluv:
                      ...peace and quiet....and a cup of tea.....heaven:h

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                        #12
                        Time to be done with this

                        Welcome Tavi!

                        I agree with the others...get rid of him! You cannot put a price tag on your self-esteem! You will also never beat this demon if you don't feel like you are worth it. You'll figure something out. Please stick close to us and keep posting. We're glad you found us!

                        K9
                        :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                        Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                          #13
                          Time to be done with this

                          Thank you!

                          I'm just getting through day 1. it's hasn't been too hard, just feeling a vague sadness. I'm going for 30 days, but doing it a day at a time.

                          I bought healthy foods to make and just trying to keep busy.

                          As far as he is concerned, i'm ignoring him for the moment until I feel strong enough to deal with it.

                          gotta run and finish my roasted tomatoes and polenta for dinner. he only eats meat and potatoes. hahahaha.

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                            #14
                            Time to be done with this

                            I'll check in tomorrow AM and tomorrow night. I need to be accountable.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Time to be done with this

                              Beginning day 2. Slept better than I thought I would but still woke up tired. I'm going to semi-isolate myself for awhile. I have plenty at home to catch up on and making a list of everything I want to accomplish each day.

                              I also need time to just relax, I think that will be the hardest as AL was my relaxer, escaper, celebrator, and depression chaser. I know it really didn't help in any of those areas but just felt like it at the time.

                              I really appreciate all of your responses. The support here is amazing! I know if I can get sober and stay sober all the other areas of my life with easier to manage.

                              Thanks again everyone. Looking forward to getting to know you and maybe helping someone else down the road.

                              Comment

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