2 weeks today

[Sake123]

I can hardly believe that 15 days ago I was waking up with a horrible hangover..wondering how in the hell I was ever going to quit. It was always "tomorrow" or after this weekend or that get together, this camping trip etc etc. I am shocked and frightened at how different I feel from September 4th.

I will say that I'm happy today. Still have housework to do, still have bills to pay, still have to clean up poop (literally - the cat pooped right in the middle of my daughters bed!! But I can do it without drinking.

For years I thought I drank to handle stress. I lost my mom a couple years back and then I told myself that I drank due to stress and heartbreak. And then I drank due to stress, heartbreak and trying to deal with a headstrong brother. But here's the kicker, alcohol just made all these things 100 times worse!! I wish I would have figured this out earlier but it takes what it takes.

Life circumstances are no different today than they were 2 weeks ago..but I am different! I am not drinking, I am going to bed before 2am every night, I am waking up feeling DAMN PROUD that I didn't drink the night before. I wake up and drink a lot of coffee...I still make bad decisions (and good ones occasionally). And that's just fine with me.

Choosing not to drink has given me a feeling of hope that I have not had in a very long time. I know that each day that I choose not to drink is a huge victory and should be celebrated. I know that I'm always right there at the edge of diving right back into that pit of depression. I know how easy it would be to start drinking again. Which is why I am guarding this gift and don't ever want to forget how crappy it feels to be drinking/drunk/hung-over/desperate for change but completely unable to stop drinking.

I am very thankful for each one of you who has taken me by the hand and helped me to make it this far. I know that this forum has a lot to do with ability to reach 2 weeks!

A sincere heartfelt thank you to everyone out here! :-) I hope and pray that...I just keep going. I keep reminding myself, I don't drink...I'm NOT a drinker! That seems to be helping right now.

Anyway - Feeling thankful right now...really thankful!!:h

[Byrdlady]

2 weeks today

There is just something about getting to Day 13 and beyond that is game changing. I am so glad that you've turned the corner! It IS a mindset. Decide that AL is no longer a choice and that is that! It helps. Failure is NOT an option! (to be said like Robert DeNiro) I'm so happy for you! Here's to many more moons of sobriety!!! Byrdie

[Sake123]

2 weeks today

Thanks Byrdie! Yes - I hope that I can truly from the depth of my soul say "Drinking is not an option". Maybe I'll just start saying that until I really believe it. I still see it as an option. Not a desirable one...but I have to be on guard as I get in these weird moods where I can self destruct faster than you can ask "what the hell happened"?? Which is why I must be on guard and know that I am not to be trusted (all the time).

[C-Developer]

2 weeks today

I knew you could do it. One thing I have noticed is that the longer I stay sober, the easier it is to maintain. I sort of draw a parallel with how I got back into rigorous exercise. The first few days blew serious balls! I was sore, tired, etc, but now I am fired up and ready to hit the gym after work. Getting off the booze is the same way. It is VERY fun to be sober and in control 24/7!

Well done Sake!

[Sake123]

2 weeks today

Thanks C-Dev! That's an excellent way to look at it. Hmmm...now if I could get to the gym so easily!

[Sake123]

2 weeks today

Oh and looks like you just hit a month! Congrats to you!!!

[Lavande]

2 weeks today

Well done Sake :wd:
Drinking has not been an option for me for the past 4 1/2 years either - best decision ever1
Keep up the great work

[Sake123]

2 weeks today

Lavande - wow...congrats on your one day at a time for 4.5 years! That's amazing, I love hearing stories of happy sober people!! Thanks!!

[Flossie]

2 weeks today

Hi Sake,

How lovely to hear you so happy and positive.

Well done on your 2 weeks, I found Day one a mountain to climb
so to have 2 whole week is amazeballs

Much love Flossie xx

[free at last]

2 weeks today

Great job, Sake. Major progress in your thinking over the past week.

[dryer]

2 weeks today

Sake, I am right there at day 10,let's get this set like concrete. What did you do the 2nd weekend? You sound prepared and ready for battle. The word choose is so big. I choose the benefits right there with you.

I know that these uncomfortable feeling I choose and allow myself to have are only temporary!

[Sake123]

2 weeks today

Thanks all for the support!! Dryer - I don't know that I had a plan exactly. Lots of good movies..and my husband and I played yatzee. LOL! I know, very exciting stuff. Actually, not a whole lot different from when I was drinking except I'm not drinking. I'm trying to focus on the positive and how good it feels to not be hung-over! The most ironic part was last night, the thought crossed my mind that I should drink...to celebrate my 2 week b-day! LOL!!! Dear God! What a stupid addiction!! But I didn't drink..just had some ice cream instead!

[K9Lover]

2 weeks today

I am SO, SO, SO proud of you Sake!!! You have come a long way baby! It keeps getting better and better too. But yeah, bring that Yatzee down a notch or two, you are getting completely out of hand. :H

Seriously, I thought I'd NEVER be able to sit on my couch and watch a movie sober because it was so engrained in my head that I sat on the couch, watched a movie, and drank a 12 pack. Now I can do whatever I want without drinking...and that my friend is freedom. I don't HAVE TO drink anymore, and neither do you....isn't that awesome??

Keep it up my friend!

[Sake123]

2 weeks today

Thanks K9!! I know...I gotta dial it back a bit with all this crazy yatzee and stuff. I even pulled out the scrabble board. I'm waiting for our neighbors to complain! LOL!

Freedom is exactly it! It's like for so many years I've thought of alcohol as an escape when really it was my prison. Alcohol does the following: Makes me tired, weepy, angry, stupid, destructive. And this is just the emotional side of things. I remember waking up and looking in the mirror and thinking how awful I looked. So tired/hung over...my face aged a lot in a few short years. Not drinking brings me peace. I'm not saying I don't have twinges of missing it. But it's kind of like missing the school bully. I think with time, I'll find that I enjoy myself much more without it. Not think...I KNOW I will enjoy myself much more without it.

[Kradle123]

2 weeks today

Oh No! NOT SCRABBLE ! :shocked: You're on the edge, baby!

I'm super proud of you as well, Sake and Free hits it on the head that your real freedom and is found in your mindset - which is almost a 360 form where you were 2 weeks ago!
That is HUGE !
I think quiting AL mirrors Mark Twain's reflection on his quiting cigarettes: "It's easy to quit. I've done it hundreds of times!'

The quit only sticks of course when the minset changes.

I live up the road from ocean and I have cruised along the Sound many times but the other day, as I was taking the kids to our local bakery/coffe shop, I swear I could feel the ocean filling up my senses for the first time. Th water was oooo rippled and long looking. It just looked Vast to me. And as I was staring at it, I had a profound sense of something lifting up and out of me and then an openness in my chest... It was incredibly calming (notice I didn't say intoxicating! ) I truly felt so much of my inner despair disappear righ then and there.
Now of course, the days have been filled again with their fair share of good and bad but I am holding on to that 'mindset', that feeling

I don't think I have been open to the healing paths we all need to take in order to, as Dryer says, cement this minset in concrete!

SO thank you so much for sharing your journey. I need to keep that mindset of hope!

Hugs and heart, :l:h