This needs to stop - I must take the pill!

[Running4life]

Hi
Anyone else out there struggle with their inner devil telling them they don't need the Antabuse and that they have control?
Every morning I wake up and wish that I had taken my Antabuse so I didn't drink.
By afternoon when I can take it my thinking has changed and I won't take it because of course I have changed my mind about the drink.
It is a viscous circle that must stop.
I found out once again that Hubs is cheating on me. This is his umteenth time and I am probably going to have to get out of the marriage. I need to think clearly about what to do.
Anyone who wants to join me in being accountable or anyone who wants to kick me in the pants is welcome here.
I am on my way downstairs to take my pill! I love this forum.
R4L
:upset:

[NoSugar]

This needs to stop - I must take the pill!

Hi, R4L

I'm very sorry about your marriage problems :l. It would be good for you to be sober to deal with what is ahead on that front.

Would it work to take the AB in the morning, while your Rational Voice is calling the shots? From what I've read, it stays in your system and you really shouldn't even be drinking for a few days after you take it so surely you wouldn't be able to drink that evening.

Another trick might be to have a pal that you call, e-mail, or PM each day at a specific time to report that you've taken the pill. That person could then agree to call you if s/he doesn't hear from you. A little extra accountability might help.

I'm so sorry you're still struggling with this. It makes life so much easier when you take the option of drinking off the table. And it sounds like you could use a break.

All the best, NS

[SoberSoul]

This needs to stop - I must take the pill!

I am here for you RFL. I have had a bitch of a time getting sober too. You are not alone but you know that. That pill is a wonderful tool but, like you say, you have to take it. Can you combine it with some sort of reward? Take it and have chocolate??? Take it and allow yourself to eat whatever you want? I do well on the reward system. The way I've finally managed to rack up two months of sobriety is by starting my own blog, following other sobriety blogs, staying close to here especially the thread "Anyone on their Umpteenth Attempt to Quit.." and reading a lot.

I'll be checking on you and for now consider yourself accountable to me... (and me to you :-))

xoxo

[Running4life]

This needs to stop - I must take the pill!

Hi Sober and No Sugar
Yes, once the pill is in it helps to take it in the morning before the evil thoughts set in. Being accountable to someone would help. Hubs is not so great at it! Thanks Sober for the offer.
Should I PM you? You have been doing great. I am proud of you. Hopefully I can beat this thing once and for all. I am ready.
R4L

[Ginger999]

This needs to stop - I must take the pill!

Hi again R4L, SS and NS are great sources of support and inspiration. I love reading SS's blog posts and clinking on her favorite links. I've learned a great deal from both these fine people. I'm really sorry about the hubs thing. I know what I'd do if it were me but each of us have to figure out what works best for them. Good luck and stay close!

[Running4life]

This needs to stop - I must take the pill!

Hi Ginger
Thanks for the support. I know SS and NS are great and I read their posts and yours all the time.
Sometimes I lurk I have to admit. The Hubs thing is a big problem that I have been sweeping under the carpet because it is so messy to split things up and move on. We are in business together which poses a problem. His behaviour is untolerable and sneeky and every time he is caught red handed he wants to work on the marriage. I have become indifferent and complacent about it. Just living my own life and going through the motions. The drinking would probably get better if I dealt with it but to do that I have to stop drinking and have a clear thinking head on my shoulders. That is my goal.
Thanks again for the support. One step and one day at a time!
R4L

[Ginger999]

This needs to stop - I must take the pill!

R4L, We had a business too when we split, but I wasn't a drinker back then. I had a complete plan in place before I walked out. I'll be thinking about you. I know you can do this because you want it!