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But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

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    #1

    But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

    Hi folks - brand new to this site as you can see and I've spent a considerable amount of time reading and reading all over this forum during the last few days. I can't believe how many people have basically the same story as me...try to quit, have a bad day..."well, one glass of wine won't hurt"...only to wake up the next morning, begrudgingly open the damn fridge door to see that not only did I finish an entire bottle of wine, I'd opened another.

    I am bound and determined to be AF for at least one month. I am on day two. It is 7:02 pm and I'm still in my office because I don't know what the hell to DO with myself?!?!? My friends are all out having dinner and drinks and I just can't be around alcohol right now because it is consuming practically every thought I have, all day long. I'm driving myself bonkers because seriously, I can't get it off my mind. Stupid asshole Al...! )

    So please, anyone - give me some ideas of what you do instead of drinking. It's Friday night and I got nothing...
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    #2
    But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

    Hi Alley cat!

    Not sure what type of things you are thinking about right now- it's Friday night in my time zone:

    Depending on your energy level:
    Read here. Read some more.
    Cravings? Eat Ice Cream.
    Clean around the house.
    Rearrange your kitchen stuff. Organize your kitchen spices.
    Organize family photos, whether they are digital or photo albums
    Find new recipes.

    If you are a guy... substitute "garage" for "kitchen", lol.

    Call someone you love.
    Give your dog a bath.
    If you have kids around you, find a family board game, or puzzle. Have a campfire with
    70s music. Make smores.

    Find festive alternative drinks. Seltzer with cranberry and lime juice, water with lemon, decaf coffee. Did I mention ice cream?

    Good luck. With a little pre-planning, tomorrow can be your day 3. :l

    Patty
    "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
    so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."     :hug:

    Comment

      #3
      But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

      Hi Allycat, welcome! You came to right place and you are very right to notice that AL takes people's life over; once one no longer preoccupied with drinking there is a void that needs to be filled. In the beginning I tried to plan evenings (you will be surprised with how much extra time you will have ). Going to eat out, mivies etc. My therapist recommended to get a hobby and I totally laughed then, but later I realized how right she was. So I found something for myself that I enjoy doing. It may take time for you to figure it out.
      AF since 10/20/2013
      Smoke free since 09/24/2007
      Meat free since 09/20/2008
      ---------------------------------------
      With will one can do anything - Samuel Smiles

      Comment

        #4
        But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

        Hi, Allycat --

        I spent a lot of time here on MWO - reading advice, clicking on links, reading blogs and books, watching videos. I also realized early on that exercise is KEY for me in sobriety, so I downloaded a lot of the Bubble Hour podcasts (here's the link) and walked/hiked all over the place.

        Welcome to MWO - there is a lot of support here.

        Pavati

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          #5
          But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

          Agree with all....
          The Mind Chatter really got to me....I call them The Voices, constantly saying the same lines over and over. Finally, I told my brain to SHUT THE FECK UP! I took the advice of Lav in the Newbie's Nest and immediately turned my thinking to something else. It worked. Sometimes I MADE myself go outside just to break the cycle. If all else fails, brush your teeth and just go to bed early. You will be surprised how helpful EATING is. Make a big deal out of it, too. The preparation of it, then the presentation and finally, the enjoyment. I found that being mindful of what I was doing in THAT moment helped. I wasn't always consumed with what was coming NEXT, like I was with my drinking....couldn't enjoy the one I had for thinking of the NEXT one! There are tons of threads on here about how to fill your time in the early days...just don't get overwhelmed, take it a day at a time.
          These days, I don't know how I was able to waste 6 hours a night!!!
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day! Join us over in the Newbie's Nest and be sure to check out the Tool Box...links are below. Welcome aboard!! Byrdie
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
          Tool Box
          Newbie's Nest

          Comment

            #6
            But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

            Byrdlady;1686521 wrote: You will be surprised how helpful EATING is. Make a big deal out of it, too. The preparation of it, then the presentation and finally, the enjoyment.
            "HALT" - hungry, angry, lonely, tired are some of the biggest drinking triggers. Totally agree with the eating. You'd be surprised how a nice meal will quash even the most stubborn drinking thoughts.

            Angry? Do something to lighten your spirits. Play a game, read a lighthearted book or watch a comedy show or movie.

            Lonely? Do anything to get around people. Personally, I like to go to an independent coffeehouse. The bohemian kind where there are worn paperbacks and board games sitting around, the furniture is a bit ratty and people are sitting around talking and laughing. Not a cookie cutter chain like Starbucks where everyone is hunched over a notebook computer, is wearing ear buds and the place is silent as a tomb. People are friendlier at the other kind of coffeehouse.

            Tired - do whatever relaxes you then get some rest

            Hope these suggestions help.
            In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

            Comment

              #7
              But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

              Byrdlady;1686521 wrote: Agree with all....
              The Mind Chatter really got to me....I call them The Voices, constantly saying the same lines over and over. Finally, I told my brain to SHUT THE FECK UP! I took the advice of Lav in the Newbie's Nest and immediately turned my thinking to something else. It worked. Sometimes I MADE myself go outside just to break the cycle. If all else fails, brush your teeth and just go to bed early. You will be surprised how helpful EATING is. Make a big deal out of it, too. The preparation of it, then the presentation and finally, the enjoyment. I found that being mindful of what I was doing in THAT moment helped. I wasn't always consumed with what was coming NEXT, like I was with my drinking....couldn't enjoy the one I had for thinking of the NEXT one! There are tons of threads on here about how to fill your time in the early days...just don't get overwhelmed, take it a day at a time.
              These days, I don't know how I was able to waste 6 hours a night!!!
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day! Join us over in the Newbie's Nest and be sure to check out the Tool Box...links are below. Welcome aboard!! Byrdie
              I am with Byrdie- when in doubt Eat!
              And keep in mind that after the first 7-10 days things start to get a bit easier.
              Then you starting looking forward to how you will feel in 20 days, or 30 days? Now I am wondering how I will feel after 90 days! Unimaginable to me two months ago. So, we can kick this habit because guess what ? There are a lot of people actually doing it! Which means you can too!!
              (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

              Comment

                #8
                But what do I DOOOOOOO with myself when I'm not drinking?!?!?

                How doing some gardening? Even if it is only in your house... another way to track your AF days...
                (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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