Huge Black Eye

[bon vivant]

Huge Black Eye

gzj03~

You need a big hug. :l
This is definitely where you need to hang out. Lots of people here are in the same boat. Don't let small things push you over the edge. Hang on!

bon vivant

[ducky]

Huge Black Eye

gjzo3 and amissue,

sorry both of you are feeling so bad. just a quick post as I have been awake since 1 am and can't focus! keep posting and you will find lots of inspiration here. amissue, have you downloaded the book? gjz03, if your friend won't take your calls after you have helped him maybe take a break from calling and focus on you? don't take the collection calls seriously. get some rest and you can sort them out later.

sorry can't type more...too tired tonight.

keep posting.

[Islandgirl]

Huge Black Eye

Islandgirl With Bruised Face

Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement I am using my wrecked face as motivation, it will be easier when the outward signs are not soooo visable! I feel as if eeryone secretly thinks I'm a drunk and I'm not sure how to transiton into AF with friends who mostly see me drinking. I hate to think of it being so obvious as this battle for me is extemely private (although I just said that I think I have made a slight reputation for myself):H Any suggestions on how to proceed with friends when I hang out with them with this black eye and drink soda? Right now I just want to sit at home and do NOTHING. 4everakid, my thoughts are with you as well, and you are right, If I fell while not intoxicated I would never feel this bad, but that is definatlely what brought me to MWO again. :thanks:

[ducky]

Huge Black Eye

Hey IG,

just a suggestion but how about telling them you decided to take better care of yourself? i think people stress about what to say, how to hide it, etc. It becomes more of a mystery. I want to take better care of myself, I thought it was time to cut back on my partying, whatever. I think you will be surprised how they accept it. If they don't that is their issue.

Just a thought.

[Reenie]

Huge Black Eye

Island Girl: I feel for you. I have fallen 3 times during one of my drunken stupers. The first is when I was by myself. My neighbor found me smack dab on my front walkway, knocked out, lying in a pool of blood. The second time was when I was getting off my boat, missed my footing on the dock, and cut my chin so deep that I needed stiches. Both times I was in the hospital. My most latest episode happened in my kitchen. I fell. Hit my shoulder on one of the knobs on my gas stove. I passed out on my sofa, only for my husband to come home to a house filled with gas, and me lying their knocked out. I understand your mishahp happened infront of some people. Those who saw what happened will move on. You on the other hand are dealing with shame and guilt. I am too. I'm so scared. I went to therapy tonight. I didn't tell my therapist what I recently done. Meanwhile, I hate myself for falling in the kitche, for falling in the past, and for nearly killing myself and my dog. This for me is a wake up call. I have a big problem. Only I can take the measures to prevent these falls from happening again. When will I learn? As the other have said, "Try not to beat yourself up". Learn from this experience. Do your best never to let it happen again, anxiety or not. When hosting an important function, think of the consequences one drink can lead to. In time, the feeling you are experiencing will pass, but try not to forget. It happened to you, me, people before us, ad someone else in the near future. It's not pretty. Be good to yourself. Forgive yourself, and try your damndest not to let it happen agian. I feel for you. I have been there, been there, been there... I don't want to go through feeling this way again, nor do I want to wipe out my life. Best of luck to your. - Reenie

[paraniod]

Huge Black Eye

Ducky, Great Answer!!!! What could anyone argue with?

"just a suggestion but how about telling them you decided to take better care of yourself?"

[paraniod]

Huge Black Eye

Ducky

Sorry entered it twice

[lucky 2.0]

Huge Black Eye

Been there- done that- got the tee-shirt! You are not alone. I had to attend a HUGE work event and speak in front of an audience of 100 with a black eye. Totally sucked.

This site offers all the help and support you need to make healthier choices. You just have to agree to accept the support and information. I hope you do. I hope I do.

xo

[imatree]

Huge Black Eye

Kinda along the lines of what ducky said - if you are at all overweight you can tell your friends that you are on a diet that excludes alcohol. That's my plan.

[Popeye]

Huge Black Eye

Hello Islandgirl.:welcome:
Sorry I'm late.
Ducky said it for me too.
Surely your friends would be glad to see you happier and healthier.

[buffy]

Huge Black Eye

Islandgirl, I have fallen and made a fool out of myself so many times I can't count them. It may be too soon for you to laugh about it....It has been 2 weeks since my last fiasco, and I have decided to make a joke of it. A superfical friend recently asked if I was still on the wagon, and I say happily....yes....I've started to feel like Linsay Lohan in her later years so I'm sticking with it.....she laughed so hard that I thought I'd just continue making fun of myself and you would have thought I was a stand up comedian as much as she got a kick out of it....she said she was going on vacation and we would have to get together when she got back.....I really wasn't expecting that. I hope to continue on with that attitude. Others may be a harder audience...keep your pretty head up and don't let them win...!

[tea]

Huge Black Eye

Hi Islandgirl, welcome and so glad you were able to share. I still can only share some things but find when I am really hurting is when I feel I can share and I know without any doubt I will get support here. Welcome again.

L

[jane rees]

Huge Black Eye

welcome islandgirl!
forget that incident...it's done now. Show a new you to the world starting right now!! read the thread about why we should or shouldn't drink...it's terrific. Start the MWO program and stock up on nice teas. coffee's and juices in the house. Keep posting please, it's a life line and I couldn't have done it without all the support from the terrific folk on this forum.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE, HONEY!
Jane :welcome:

[Mags]

Huge Black Eye

Lucky, Ducky - It's all becoming so confusing. You guys keep changing into new avatars every few days!!! One of you just said it all above - that you need to accept the love and support that you have found here.

Acceptance is such a huge part of this wonderful process. Acceptance of us as your new friends. Acceptance of the fact that you and all of us have a problem with alcohol. Acceptance of the fact that we have all done stupid things which have made us totally humiliated to ourselves and others. Acceptance of the fact that we have to change. Acceptance of the fact that each of us truly wants to change and is striving to do it in our own ways. Acceptance of the fact that, as hard as we may try, none of us is capable of doing it totally on our own. We need each other. Your black eye is our black eye - we have all had one - the same way you got yours. We all feel your shame and humiliation. It is not a trivial feeling - it hurts. But it can be the way to change, and to improvement, and to a shared journey.

As for your friends - when they want you to share a drink with them, have a tonic with a slice of lime - that usually works for me. If they ask, just say you have decided to make healthier decisions in your life. If they don't like that (and they almost always will), then just go on about your business. Strange isn't it, how we worry so much when we think our friends know we drink too much, but then we worry almost as much when we tell them we are not drinking tonight? You would think they would support us, but we are afraid they will put us down. I have found that my true friends are very supportive. The rest - forget about them.

I know I have gone on much too long. You will do fine. I can tell that you are on your way (My Way Out - Thank you RJ)

[headbanger]

Huge Black Eye

Dear Island Girl,

Boy, can I relate to the embarrassment of falling and getting hurt while drunk. This is how I earned my nick name, "Headbanger"; from my complete loss of equilibrium after a few drinks. I fell down the stairs at my goodbye party given by my coworkers from my hospital job!

Headbanger