Re: No Messing Around This Time
Well I'm officially two weeks sober. Longest I've gone, probably since I really started drinking at the start of college. It's still the beginning but it feels good, and it's funny how long these two weeks have felt. Feels more like two months
Anyway I am still very motivated! I'm going to my 13th meeting in 12 days today - the goal is 90+ in 90 days. It's been such a huge help, and while I've admitted that I have absolutely no chance against this disease on my own, I'm going to look deeply at the first two steps with my sponsor today after our meeting.
An odd thing just happened to me though.... As I was posting in the Roll Call, I realized that I had had a drinking dream last night. Usually I can remember my dreams vividly right when I wake up, but for some reason it had escaped my memory until just now. I'm not even sure of the circumstances around taking a drink, or what I drank. But I remember the feeling of disappointment and thinking that I would have to start back at Day 1 and being so sad. And thinking - maybe I can just lie about it. But that deep down I would know the truth and that was what really mattered.
Well luckily I did not drink, and I am on a mission to be honest and truthful, because lies are what keep this disease fueled. I'll take it as a reminder that I need to be humble and that things can change in an instant if I'm not continuously working on myself and fighting off my addiction.
Thanks to this community for continuing to listen and support. Stay strong out there!
Well I'm officially two weeks sober. Longest I've gone, probably since I really started drinking at the start of college. It's still the beginning but it feels good, and it's funny how long these two weeks have felt. Feels more like two months
Anyway I am still very motivated! I'm going to my 13th meeting in 12 days today - the goal is 90+ in 90 days. It's been such a huge help, and while I've admitted that I have absolutely no chance against this disease on my own, I'm going to look deeply at the first two steps with my sponsor today after our meeting.
An odd thing just happened to me though.... As I was posting in the Roll Call, I realized that I had had a drinking dream last night. Usually I can remember my dreams vividly right when I wake up, but for some reason it had escaped my memory until just now. I'm not even sure of the circumstances around taking a drink, or what I drank. But I remember the feeling of disappointment and thinking that I would have to start back at Day 1 and being so sad. And thinking - maybe I can just lie about it. But that deep down I would know the truth and that was what really mattered.
Well luckily I did not drink, and I am on a mission to be honest and truthful, because lies are what keep this disease fueled. I'll take it as a reminder that I need to be humble and that things can change in an instant if I'm not continuously working on myself and fighting off my addiction.
Thanks to this community for continuing to listen and support. Stay strong out there!
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