New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Rutru;1347706 wrote: well with my luck I'll lose my hair and put weight on but at least I will remember where I put my diet book and hair brush due to not blacking out-- that's the on;y silver lining I can find in that!

LOL Rutru !!! Yes, I will say again that I think you need to start at the 25mg and follow the titration schedule in the book - or as WTE said, go even slower - we didn't get to where we are quickly so it doesn't matter if it takes a few weeks longer to try to sort it out does it? let us know what you do - what dose did you jump in at out of curiousity?

I had a few lbs weight loss - but like WTE, was slim anyway and didn't want to lose a lot but fortunately my weight loss evened out. It is something I still keep an eye on though.

Play - sounds like a sad situation for the family - but anything like that does cause a LOT of stress. It is good that you can help them out the way you are doing. yes, it would be good if daughters hubs would go for counselling too, but so many men won't do that - guess it isn't considered manly or something...... my hubs never would either.

When does your daughter have to go back to work? will she wait until after her sugery or seeing as that has been put off, go back and then take off again? Yes, she would have to find someone really good to cope with the baby - someone that she feels 100% comfortable with.

The weather has finally broken thank goodness - we didn't get any more rain when everywhere around us did, but at least our temps are only going to get into the 90's today - a nice change from 109 and around there.

Back later everyone -

love and hugs, Sun X

[Rutru]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for replying,
I had gone up to 50 mg twice a day. I am two weeks in. I started both the meds. and no alcohol at the same time. My husband has not had his beer either but I think that is a temporary thing but mine may be as well. I am taking it one day at a time. I am afraid to promise to stop and fail and hate myself for failing.

Again thanks for your thoughts on my situation.
BTW, we may be in the same area: our heat just broke, we are to be in the 90's today for the first time less than 100 in 11 days!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there - If it has worked and you aren't having any cravings then I would leave well enough alone. Are you still having cravings? it could work differently for you. If you are still having cravings, then yes, go back down to 25mg. Good for you though at stopping AL without the meds working - I am proud of you !! But if you are struggling then the meds won't work the way you are taking them. And don't ever be afraid of failing - it isn't failing - it is one step towards success. Really ! We all have stumbled and tripped and it is indeed a journey - Rome wasn't built in a day,

hugs, sun X

I have PM'd you where I live

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone

I'm afraid its another short one. Its the first day that bf has gone back to work but I spent the whole day unpacking and orientating myself and we're going to Leeds tonight for two nights so there is no time!

Space, Happy Birthday for yesterday! And I did think of you yesterday when we were out and about and the sun shone and smiled. I thought that must be just for you as even the weather lady predicted no sun!

Sunny, I think you'll find I'm the baby of the group by two decades. That is unless I've been kicked out after not posting for a weekend I think if you were happy on Celexa and were taking a low dose, your doctor will just have to oblidge. I always thought she was silly for messing with it in the first place.

Everything's going really well and I will post a proper post in the hotel in Leeds tomorrow, I just somehow slept in until 11 (!!) today and somehow it feels like the jetlag only just kicked in. My head is very fuzzy. I wish I could skip going to Leeds but I think this may be the last time he'll have to go in a while and we're going to stay in a fancy hotel so I'll go. The 5 hour train journey doesn't sound fun though.

Will post all about the stupid customs officer and whats happened so far but I have no complaints.... Oh and in case you are wondering the bed is huge and I have no complaints in the Topa sex department Its going much better than I ever imagined, its almost as if its made it better. LOL, thats all I'm saying for now.

Happy birthday Houtx!

WTE, sorry you're still hurting over Buddy but you're making the right decision.

Play, its not THAT hard for me to get a Schengen visa but money-wise I can't just skip over to the continent whenever I like at the moment. Later it shouldn't be a problem. So sorry your daughter is going through such a tough time.

Love and hugs to all.

:h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

DIZZY !! So lovely to hear from you. Oh yes - I forgot you were so much younger - LOL.

Glad everything is okay in the bed department - ROTFLMBO ! Everyone will be so happy to hear that. It seems funny to think of you in UK now.....

Yes, I have left a message for my doc this morning about the celexa - I will have to take the 40mg which is as high as they will allow these days and hope that works. The lexapro definitely isn't hacking it.

I suppose I need to get showered and start thinking about getting my food ready for work....... don't feel like going - but don't feel like doing anything at home either - except maybe sleeping.

back later, Hugs to all,

love, sun XX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Guys/Gals,
Iwant to add my yes to going with the schedule on the Topa titration, just doesn't work to do it any differently. I think the hair loss is not a common SE, when I first started I had just stopped taking Gabapentin which I think causes weight gain and I lost eight pounds in two weeks then it just evened out. Later I went off the Topa, gained the weight back plus some and went back on the GABA due to increased pain but am now losing weigh again very very slowly which is what I want to do since I had gained 20lbs after starting the Gabapentin in the first place, now I have lost about 5 lbs. I'm doing very well with thr drinking but over the weekend when the children were away it did increase.

I can't figure why that happens, it's just so wield, I just start in the afternoon, I need to get a plan around that, it is the kind of drinking that I DO NOT WANT TO DO. It seems like I have to be busy for that to not happen and/or have people around which must mean that it has to be something to do with being by myself at loose ends.

Hope all are well.
Love and Light.
Play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Space, I didn't say Happy Birthday and I think WTE had one too so Happy Days!

Now Dizz, a Spain trip would be a little in the future, I wouldn't have time to entertain you guys right now LOL, we will work it out. So glad things are going well, jet lag, yuck, it didn't bother me until the last two trips, now it takes me exactly four days to feel human.

See you guys,
Play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning Play - I know what you mean about drinking when at a loose end..... sort of anyway. I never even THINK of it when I am at work - doesn't even cross my mind. So, why when I am at home? oh - and it was houtx and space who had birthdays.....

Space - where are you? haven't seen you since - umm, saturday? Or maybe early sunday - today is Tuesday and that is a long time for you not to post - are you okay?

Rutru - what have you decided to do? How are you doing?

WTE - I somehow missed your post about being an 8 hour drive from play - I was going to back to see when space last posted and found it. I forget how HUGE USA is. I thought seeing as you were both on the coast, it would be fairly close - LOL. Where you live sounds wonderful. I could do with some 'no weather' for a while.

I need to do some serious dead heading today. My poor plants are looking really bad. What with the heat and me neglecting them due to not wanting to be out in out I have some catching up to do..... even though I closed last night the pups still got me up early - of course they are both sound asleep now having been fed and watered!

My doctor didn't call me back yesterday - hoping she does today - I have two days worth of happy tabs left!

Back later.....

love, sun XX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WHERE IS EVERYONE???

Space - I am getting worried about you - you ALWAYS post! Did you go somewhere?

Everyone else - hope you are all okay - and having fun which is why you aren't posting.... my doctor still hasn't called me back..... tomorrow is my last day of tabs. guess I will be on the phone again tomorrow morning.

Going to get ready for bed and have an early night I think.

love and hugs to you all,

Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, its me and yes Im fine thanks for asking Sun, Im not sure when I last posted, I thought umm no dont know. Anyway Sunday, which was my birthday proper, even tho we went out on the saturday was a bit crap, I drank too much, I didnt get very drunk and nothing bad happened but during the day I had way to much for me and eneded up going to bed very early then feeling awful all day monday. I had already noticed wine has been giving me hangovers but I was just totally out of action, even more than normal on Monday. So yesterday I got my birthday present, which I had asked for money off the kids and my mum so I could put it towards geting a new laptop, so In on it now and trying to get used to the keyboard, which seems narrower than my old one so I have already made about 20 typos, so please put up with it when I cant be bothered going bck and correcting all the time.but its great because my old one was such a pain, very slow and then would just shut down for no reason every so many hours.

I have also recieved an email from the pharmacy I ordered topamax from saying my bank hadnt payed them. There was no reason for this and its the second time not theve done it, despite the fact that I bought from the same place now for over a year so Im going to have to reorder and get onto my bank and tell them to make sure they allow the payment.

Its lovely to come on here today, after not having been on MWO just for a couple of days I feel so out of it.

It is very wierd to think of you in England Dizzy, Im glad you and bf are happy

I hope you get the celexa sorted soon Sun, its such a shame that you found a med that worked for you then it was changed but you should soon be back to our sunny Sun shine

Hi to everyone else, I dont know what Ive missed so cant respond to everyone but you know Im thinking of you all.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Space - I am so happy to see you! Partly because I am happy that nothing has happened to you and partly because it got boring talking to myself!!

Sorry about you having too much to drink and not feeling well - it seems that when we haven't had a lot to drink for a while the hangovers hit harder than ever - or maybe we were just used to them before? I am not sure - I don't ever really drink enough to get them but if I have even a little too much I feel out of sorts the next day so I imagine how you must have felt. Glad you are feeling better.

I have a lap top as well as my desk computer and much prefer my desk top one. i only use the lap top oif my desk top isn't working - and even then I have bought a wireless mouse for the laptop. But the keyboard is different and I am much happier with this one.

My Doc STILL hasn't called me back - I am quite upset. I have one tablet left....... and feel really stressed out about the whole issue. I called again this morning early and left a message but haven't heard anything. I work tomorrow at 9.00 and will call AGAIN tomorrow morning - this really isn't good enough.

You sound as if you are having quite an issue too with your Topa and the bank payment .... hope you get it sorted soon. What a pain for you.

Off to do something... LOL

Glad you are okay....

Love and hugs, Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Your doc sounds like he is the pits, does he relise that the last time you stoped taking ad's you landed in hospital, he has to get you them tomorrow, it is awful. You will have to just phone and carry on phining them until you get the script. I hope its not too much stress. What an arse.

Ive sent in another order for the topa so it will be a while before I can start again, I just dont understand why the bank stopped the payment, if it had been the first time I had used it then they could have said an overseas pharmacy looks suspicious but I have ordered from them several times before with no problem except when they did it the one time. There must just be some computer settings that is tripping it up at times.

I think it was drinking the wine which I dont really drink often that did it for me on Sunday, it wasnt even that I was drunk. Oh well I will just stick to lager when I have a drink now I dont want to feel like that again, I couldnt believe how bad I felt, when I used to drink bottles of vodka I still got up and stuff but Monday I was just stuck in bed. Im not bothered about it now I feel more comfortable about drinking lager anyway, Im not a sipper so really wines too strong for me.

The odd thing is Im not getting those cravings anymore to go on a horrific bender like I used to, dont know why but Im just happy to go along with it. Maybe the gabapentin is helping with that, or that Ive just changed with time and the stuff Ive done along the way my brain has reset a bit.

Got to go I can here my son upstairs and he has school tomorrow so I need to go and remind him hes supposed to be asleep.

x

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All.

Reading backwards here – so forgive if I miss someone.

Play: So good to hear from you. Sounds tough about your daughter and hubby. As someone else said, many men view therapy as nonsense. It all must be so hard for them. I’m glad you are there to help and will be able to back as well.

A meet up would be so much fun. And yes Sun, the USA is big so Play and I are quite a distance apart. I am close to the Mexico border (about an hours drive) but she is still far from the Northern border. California is a big state for sure.

Fun to think about Spain. Was just speaking with my Brother in Cyprus yesterday and he bugging me to visit. I can’t really figure out how to be gone from the shop for very long without at least phone contact. It’s been an issue since I lost my Manager about a year ago and still training people to even come close to what she used to do.

I can totally relate to being alone and the AL going up. Same issue here. And I can get away from not working or being in the shop … so that makes it worse.

And no, no birthday here just yet. End of August. But thanks anyways! HA!

Sun: We have been having a bit of a heat wave here as well – but nothing like you. But, I have turned the AC on in parts of the house the past few days.

Can’t imagine having to water every day by hand. I have everything on auto irrigation. Which brings up ANOTHER issue I now have in life. My new lawn out back for Charlie looks great and he loves to roll around it. BUT – I am now being overrun with bees! My neighbors have had some issues recently with them swarming. They aren’t doing that here, but I wouldn’t dare walk across the lawn barefoot now and I am worried for Charlie. I guess they are just loving all the water on the new lawn (?) I may need to call someone for help. They are putting in the new front lawn this morning so I am going to end up with MORE bees. I’ve never had anything like this before - what a bummer.

My GF that recommended this new DR is now taking Lexapro and she says it is really helping her. I am SO confused about AD has I have never been on them before. I hope you get it all sorted out quickly!

DIZ!: Sounds like things are going great – how wonderful for you! It IS odd to think of you in the UK. I also spoke a niece of mine yesterday that lives in London. She is ready to jump ship and come live with me for a while. Not sure how that is going to work out … but she is tired of her job and the costs of living in London.

Yes, right choice on Buddy – I know. Still hurts. Yesterday I got an email about him mailing some of my stuff back that I had left in AZ. The idiot mailed it to my PO Box, so I’m pretty certain it will all get returned to him. UGH. Just need this all over with.
Space: Good to hear from you. I have been reading, but just have not had the focus to post.

How fun you have a new laptop! I have one that I only use when traveling as I find the keyboard too small as well. And then there is my eyesight (really need to see a DR about proper glasses) and the larger monitor on my PC is so much easier for me to work on. Plus, I am always doing Excel spreadsheets for events and the lack of the “number keys” on my laptop to the right is hard for me.

I hope by now you have gotten your Topa sorted out. Do you order from River? Again, wish you lived closer and I could end you mine. Then again, wondering what this new DR is going to say and perhaps he will suggest I go back on it.

As for the over drinking and Topa – I personally think I feel worse when on Topa and drink. I even bought some beer the other day (which I rarely drink) thinking it may help as well add some calories. It’s just does not “hit the spot” for me like wine does. Happy to hear your vodka bender days seem over and something is working for you.

*********************

This DR appointment cannot get here fast enough. UGH . The 19th.

Geez, have I been on a roll. Seemed to start about the time of Buddy nonsense (or something) and has gone seriously downhill from there. I am back to my very old bad habits again and SO upset with myself.

Every morning I wake up feeling awful and swear the day will be different. But it never ends up being. I have not been to the shop for days ….

Someone else mentioned being busy/working and it was so much easier. The days at home alone are killing me. It’s only a few hours after my 1st cup of coffee that the cravings begin and I end up at the corner store again. I wake up, pour out whatever wine was from the previous day, and then am cursing myself shortly after. And then I find an excuse to not go into work and it’s another lost day.

I am hating myself so much right now. And depressed as well I guess. Does the AL cause my depression or do I drink because I am depressed? I feel overwhelmed with life right now. I have some HUGE events coming up and yet can’t seem to focus. So I choose a “couple glasses” of wine – hair of the dog and all that nonsense. It turns into 7 or 8 glasses and naps and I am still not eating proper as I can’t even get my act together to be at the grocery store.

Lawns and bees and Charlie. A client making me crazy with her event on the 27th. Major client arriving into town next Friday. Buddy crap. A GF called me 2 days ago to tell me had a dream that I died! And that she was sitting at my computer trying to find Buddy’s phone number to tell him. My HRT patchs that I should have picked up a week ago are still not picked up. SO many things I am just letting go and feeling so stressed about. Think it’s been 3 days now that I have even taken a shower. UGH. So behind on paperwork and stuff for the shop and my Asst is still on vaca in Europe. Landscaper here this morning with crew and I KNOW he is going to want to stay for dinner later – no interest. I am just really screwed up right now – how did I get back here????

Scared about the DR appointment and have no clue what to ask him for. Have notes about the Remeron/Mirtazepine, but no clue if that is the answer. Now I read about Sun and Lexapro and that scares me too. WTF is happening to me???

I feel grateful you guys are here. I feel so alone these days. Something has to change fast. I just took a Valium (my dogs prescription LOL) just to try and keep the edge off. I SHOULD be in the shower and dressing for the shop. I am already plotting in my head another excuse to not go in. And thinking about that corner store. Dammit.

WHY did Topa do this to me again??? I feel lightheaded and it’s scaring me. The weight continues to drop off as I guess I am still getting the Topa out of my system.

Sorry for the vent …I just want my life back.

[baclofan]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE...

WaitingToExhale;1349135 wrote: I just took a Valium (my dogs prescription LOL) just to try and keep the edge off. I SHOULD be in the shower and dressing for the shop. I am already plotting in my head another excuse to not go in. And thinking about that corner store. Dammit.

Just a quick heads up: Valium+corner store could be a very dangerous combo!

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Back in Windsor and yes, even I find it strange to be neighbours with the queen. Windsor castle is quite something and the area is of course very smart, just went food (and wine) shopping and can't believe how expensive everything is.

Argh, I too feel bad as I've been drinking with bf. The first couple of nights were OK but the last two were quite hectic, he seems to be able to get away with going to bed at 3 and still going to work but I end up being knackered and then sleeping in til 12 and having a hangover. I have to start work tomorrow so I'll have to have a chat with him.

Well, don't worry just yet, I knew this was going to happen, we are just two people getting used to living in a small flat together. It is going really well but the AL is obviously helping to take the edge off. My plan has always been to give it a month or so before I start cutting back again, I try to stock up on beer as it just takes longer to drink and it cause less of a hangover. Guinness, Sun! We are also having fun with cooking for each other and exploring wines but I try to keep the wine to the minimum and luckily there has been no spirits in the home so far.

WTE, I'm really sorry that you are in such bad shape after the Topa. I think your doc will be able to explain this to you though - no medicine makes you lose or pick up weight, it only affects your appetite. What I mean is it can only take away your appetite, it cant magically cause weight loss in any other way. And from what I hear about your frame of mind, I wonder if you can't take the Topa plus body builder milkshakes? Something thats easy for you to get down but has loads of calories. Or mix your all-one with a tin of coconut milk Or perhaps you can drink more beer, Guinness is supposed to have extra iron and minerals but its not to everyone's taste. Google drinks and caloric density, perhaps there's one you could try that has more calories, even if its just for a while.

There MUST be a way that we can keep your weight up and help you monitor your weight. Yes, an AD might be the answer but be aware that they all have their SE and that you will have to be careful when you drink on it. The one night I drank and I couldnt sleep so I took a Seroquel and ended up feeling terrible the next day. Then my friend told me some guys have used Seroquel in the past as date rape drugs! No wonder I felt so terrible. I'm not trying to scare you, have you considered starting a thread asking for help, there may be others who have found ways of keeping their weight up on Topa who could help. I just hate seeing you so low and know that you were doing so well on the Topa for a long time. :l

Rutru - In terms of hairloss, I have never experienced it although I take Biotin just in case. I have noticed that my hair grows faster and looks thicker as well, so I would recommend it to anyone.

Hi Space, I found Leeds to be such a nice town, we may move there in future. It was even sunny there yesterday, which didn't work for the 'moody architectural pictures' I was trying to take but everyone's mood lifted considerably. I walked for 6 hours sightseeing yesterday and my calves really hurt now. Well, I'll have to do something to burn off all these Guinness calories! Are you drinking wine because the beer is tasting flat and you are not liking it? So sorry that your bank messed up as you're probably now going to have to start from scratch?

Hey Sunny, if your doctor is going to be such a cow, you will just have to consider switching or even ordering from River. There's more than one way to kill a cat so don't let her incompetence stand between you and your happy, sunnier self. You have mentioned in the past that you don't like her, are you sure its worth putting up with her for the sake of not making waves? I would think asking to switch after someone's incompetence caused you a mini-stroke (or whatever that was) would be ample reason and not be seen by the other doctors or whoever as you being a troublemaker. Sometimes we just don't see eye to eye with our docs and its an extremely important relationship to maintain, especially as we get older.

Waving hi to Play and Houtx and anyone else I may have missed.

Lots of hugs and love to everyone.

:h