New here and starting Topa and with a question

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It *is* kind of boring when no one posts, isn't it Sun? It reminds me of how little goes on on the rest of the internet, and makes me wonder why I check *anything* especially Facebook.

I was all over the boards here last week, and this week just don't feel like saying very much. Been trying to get down to work, and had a couple good days but then kind of fell into Xbox over the weekend and now here it's already Sunday. Blah blah story of my life. Not drinking again, almost 2 weeks and feeling pretty decent again.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Stuck - I don't even have a Facebook! I did for a while - my kids set it up for me but I found it was just one more 'thing to do' so got rid of it.

Good for you being 2 weeks AF - great! Hope you have a good week,

hugs, sun Xx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Yeah Stuck, I guess I'm OK. Dreaded seeing a local UK GP but found such a nice one after months that when she asked me in the middle of the blood pressure test how I was doing I just burst into tears. I mean, she was so NICE and refilled all my scripts that ran out and made a follow up appointment for Wednesday so we can talk more about a psychiatrist referral. She's unfortunately just filling in for maternity leave but it's so refreshing to see a young doctor who listens and cares.

Hi Sun, Meggie and Houtx, I'm trying here, hopefully with one GP and one Pdoc I can make it out of this lethargic stage of mine. The doc didn't even know what Topamax was but bless her she renewed my old script. Not that I'm sure it's doing much these days...

Things with hubby and I are good, we worked through some stuff. My tummy and leg is also better so now I'm just waiting for my passport so I can move around a bit! It would also be great to know I have my 5 year residence permit.

Space, I understand but miss you.

Hugs to all.

XXX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well not 2 weeks anymore but thanks, Sun. Back to "day 1" I guess but overall I'm doing all right. Was just really... down... last night and the whole day'd seemed like a waste. Bought a new CD and was listening to that, but it was real drinking music if ya' know what I mean. Anyway, got drunk and it felt good, felt like habit, like old times and I missed that. Spent the night listening to music and texting with the new girl. She is... better than I deserve. I know no one wants to hear about sexytimes or 3ways here, but let me just say she was texting me more details about the time she was in a 3way in college - I knew about that, and I knew she was considering a 3way with her last long-term BF for some special occasion but it never happened. Anyway, she's been telling me more and more about it and I'm not bringing it up or anything, I just think it's pretty hot and she sounds really excited by the idea. But let's be clear that's not why I'm into this girl - she's just awesome and stable and really into me and I'm excited to call her my GF.

Said a lot more about that than I intended to. I also am starting therapy Dizz. This week, in fact, on Wednesday. Finally got off my ass and got some referrals and made some calls and it looks like I might be in for a 4-6 week every week thing. Which is good, I guess. Not sure what exactly I want from it, but it'll be good to talk with someone and maybe be held a little accountable. Of course it's probably going to come out pretty quick that I'm a raging alcoholic and everything will be through the lens of drinking or not drinking. I hope not though. And if she uses the words Recovery or Sobriety I fear I'll have to punch her in the face. Wouldn't mind a script for Xanax to be honest. If I am drinking again, even every week or so, it would be nice to have something for the inevitable anxiety/withdrawal. Which of course would probably go away if I just stopped f**king drinking but whatever.

Dizz, glad to hear you found someone who cares and is a good fit, even if for a short time. That can make all the difference. :l

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi

How is everyone?

Went to the GP today and she just consulted a Pdoc instead of referring and is suggesting counselling... Only it's a self referral NHS council service, so I'm not too happy... I don't want to do telephone, internet or group counselling.

Thanks for caring Stuck and glad to hear you're starting therapy. I have the same qualms as you about it, I should be over the moon, newly wed, just got my passport back and Europe is now my oyster. But I feel nothing really, it's depression, and it's worse when I don't drink.

I sometimes go through 3-4 days without sleeping... assures me a small supply of tranquilizers... The staying awake is a nightmare though, no pun intended.

Your GF sounds fun and like she's a good match for you. I threatened similar activities with my ex but somehow I lost that ambitious side for now. At least you've got that going for you I mean in terms of being depro (ipad autocorrected for deprogrammed LOL) some people just lose interest.

Oh and somehow I've managed to get liquid in my kneecaps so I need physio.

How are you, Sun?

Meggie, you just have to subscribe to the thread again, you get auto-unsubscribed from time to time like I did. If it says you are subscribed, unsubscribe and subscribe again. That should do the trick I hope you are well.

:l:l:l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy - I am so sorry to hear you are so down ! But you have had so much going on the past year or more - it has probably all just caught up with you. The not sleeping isn't good though .... but you don't want to get into taking sleeping pills really. I think it would be good to talk to someone but like you, would not want to go to group counselling - is that what your GP is suggesting?

I have never even thought about subscribing to this thread - just automatically check the 'new posts' when I open up the computer.

Our weather is still really cold - 23 today with a wind chill of 14 - that is minus 10 C !!! However it could be worse - it could be snowing - and so many in the south here have it really bad right now.

Hi there Stuck - good to hear that you too are starting therapy - bet that will be interesting for your therapist - LOL. Glad that you have the g/f to chat with and stuff ...is she the one that lives far away though?

Got to get ready for work ...

Hugs to all and feel better Dizzy!!

Love, Sun XX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

:H Thanks, Sun. We'll see how this goes; I wasn't all that impressed with her yesterday, but next week I'll ask about her background and what kind of therapeutic framework she's working with. If this all boils down to "how does it make you feel when you're having a hard time working" and "how did you feel when you were able to do something" then I'm out. But with a $13 copay it's tough to say no since it's not like I have (m)any other time commitments...

Yes, the GF is the one who's far away. She'll be here next week for a little while, so that'll be really nice but hopefully I can still get some work done considering how far behind I am on everything.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun

Subscribing to the thread is nice (but sometimes a bit buggy) as you get alerted when someone posts and then you don't have to come here just to see that you are the last person who has posted. Thanks for the positive vibes.

Winter here has been mild in comparison to last year when it snowed and was overall more icy, there is also a lot more daylight sunshine hours (instead of miserable overcast weather) so there's something to be thankful for.

We're going to Madrid for a couple of days later in the month to help hubbie relax and just get me out of my comfort zone. It should be a bit warmer and wel'll visit cultural places, eat tapas and just take it easy. It sounds like a good idea.

The doctor is suggesting putting up my Celexa and is a bit dumbfounded about the Topamax. I'm scared to go off it so she's dropping the issue for now. I'm having a liver function test on Monday that I'm a bit worried about as I haven't been good the last couple of months but I guess its better to know than not to know. The doc is advising I self refer me to talking therapies in Berkshire, there are lots of them but I think finding a one on one in person one is going to be hard unless I get a doctor's referral.

Yay on the GF coming to visit, Stuck. I actually enjoyed the long term relationship I had with my husband for a long time. Its obviously nicer for you as you get more regular visits and there is a lot of excitement if you haven't seen someone in a while. Maybe its what you need to make your heart grow fonder. Sorry about the therapist, hopefully it gets better.

I hope everyone else is doing fine and hope to hear from you soon.

XOX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Swift reply as I am off to bed .... Dizzy - what dosage are you on right now for your celexa? Do you think you need to go up? I think that you were on a fairly low dose of it ... so it might be a good idea.

Winter there is mild compared to last year from what my mum has been saying - ours is wicked this year! We have a sheet of ice right now outside - then it is supposed to thaw but we are getting anywhere from 6-8" of snow on Tuesday! NO MORE SNOW. Althought I have to admit, it makes looking for poop SO easy - LOL.

Diz - when will you get the results of the liver function test? Please let us know ..... you KNOW that we worry!!

Sounds good on gong to Madrid - have a fun time. Relax both of you ! I am really glad that you can get away and relax.

So much for my swift reply ....

Stuck - sorry you weren't impressed with your therapist! But I totally understand. Let us know how it goes next week won't you?

I HAVE to get to bed - love and hugs to all,

love, Sun XXX

[not quite a swan]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE FOR SUN............HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ........

.......you are in my thoughts and hope you are well

xx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Damn, I wanted to be the first one but here goes...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUN

:bday7:

:l:l:l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

not quite a swan;1621293 wrote: A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE FOR SUN............HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ........

.......you are in my thoughts and hope you are well

xx

SWANNY !!!!! THANK YOU - How are you ? How wonderful to see you. What is going on with you? PLEASE PM me and catch me up....

Thanks dizzy - I am off out to breakfast with hubs and daughter shortly .... then bnot much else for the rest of the day - bad weather here ! Have a wonderful day.....

Hugs, sun XXX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, I tried unsubscribing and it won't let me. I did put a check beside it. I will see what happens. Hope all is well. Another week down, a real long one. I swear there was a full moon, the kiddos were horrid. I did do yoga twice and then went to the gym. Working out and trying to be good. Drank little this week but last night I over did it, and feel like crap. Did make it to the gym and did several errands. Now I am relaxing and checking out how all is doing.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Yes, Sun, my celexa dosage is only 20mg as I wasn't sure it was doing much and I take quite a few meds, so I was trying to cut down where I can.

I went in for the liver function tests but was 5 minutes late and then the huge queue at reception made me another 5 minutes late... Long story short, had to reschedule for next Friday.

I was a bit annoyed but maybe I can now spend some time eating (and drinking) more healthily. I couldn't really this time as BIL was visiting who is a huge wine fundi.

I hoped you enjoyed your birthday, sometimes snuggling at home when it's cold outside is also a treat

I wish I had your inspiration when it comes to exercising, Meggie

Hi to everyone else.

:l:l:l

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Crazy cold winter here, but I love it!! Happy Birthday, Sunny - hope you had a fun day!!

Stuck, you kill me being able to go on & off the wagon. Hope things w/ the new gf go well. The 3-ways & swaps is a Californication thing. My "HB" relationship years ago was all about that. He did my head with all the talk - but it certainly is stimulating! lol Hope you catch up with work - blah

Meggie, good for you w/ the yoga and just hanging in. A bad day here & there is normal. I'm telling myself that less & less, thankfully.

Dizzy - hope you are feeling AOK soon & able to enjoy the R&R in Spain - sounds lovely!!

Sunny - hope you're well & had a lovely birthday!

I am just checking in - everything's pretty OK. A few glasses o' wine every night, but putting myself to bed in a more timely manner and doing pretty well staying within the lines. No men in the picture right now to speak of...may have a story soon, though. Hope alls well otherwise & we keep posting!