Progress thread for ne
:upset::h:l
:upset::h:l
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Progress thread for ne
Thanks everyone for the support and input.
Communication is by far the hardest part of being married. We are so much better about it since we stopped drinking alcoholically but man. It's easy to let it slide. The last ~2 months have not been easy. I'm depressed and in a major funk and rather than dealing with that head on, he just gets annoyed. It just makes me more irritable and the cycle goes on...
Which has very little to do with what happened the other night. You're absolutely right bleep, that things are so much better that there is no comparison. (We actually like each other. Who knew?) But the stick is loaded in this case. It is so dangerous that I still shudder to think about what would have happened if he had driven home. (I picked him up. Sorry my original posts aren't very clear.) On the other hand, it's not something we can't deal with.
Unfortunately I let him have it several times yesterday. He's definitely suffering from major shame and guilt and all the rest. Not that it wasn't serious, but I wish I had waited until he wasn't hungover to tell him how much he hurt me. That's the worst thing I can say to him and I know it.
We'll work it out. Weekly meetings of some sort, maybe. But a heads up for you men out there, for many of us (women) communication is a daily need. It is confusing that it's so hard for him to just say feelings and thoughts. What is that about? Maybe I'll try to use one of those "feeling charts" we use at the hospital in the psych ward. (If you knew what those were, you'd laugh. http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/modules...elingchart.pdf)
I've got to study for an exam in 4 hours. Right now I honestly wish I'd dropped all of my classes this quarter to try and get my head on straight. It is all I can do to pretend to care about school right now. But that's a whole 'nother story.
Hope it's a good day/afternoon/eve, everybody. :l
PS Xadrian, "Video vs. audio" It took me a minute to figure out what you meant! That made me smile. I am really, really bad at staying mad and find the silent treatment almost impossible to achieve. For better or for worse.
Grat, nice to see you are still around! Miss you!
Reggie, that's pretty funny my friend. And thanks. Posting is hard. I know you know.
Spirit, the odds of staying married (and especially in a happy marriage) are so small that I am amazed at how lucky I am. And I'm so grateful we got through the awful, horrible stuff together. And yes, I have to admit that alcohol outweighs everything on occasion, even now.
bleep, I do tend to overreact a bit, don't I?
Wine-no, You're so right. Thanks for understanding.
Stuck, xoComment
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Progress thread for ne
For a friend...
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...ead-38718.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...ead-50513.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...bac-48420.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...bac-48419.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...fen-47958.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...pps-48038.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...ers-67101.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...nce-50092.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...ons-47246.htmlComment
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Progress thread for ne
Here's another one, Spirit. A case report. I think I remember two others. They're probably in the Consolidated thread. If not, and you're interested, I'll dig 'em up and post 'em.Comment
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Progress thread for ne
Hi NE
Long time no speak. Sorry to hear you are having relationship problems. I hope things are going better and that the exam went OK. I too am depressed and last night only had 3 hours sleep. I think menopause may be compounding things. Am on 130 and was on 140 for 3 months or so. Still drink too much at least once a week and sometimes moderate well. Anyway middle of the night last night I looked at your bump on moderation/abstinence and that was helpful.
I know you told me just go for the switch. Last time I tried that I was depressed for months, hospitalised once and should have gone to hospital another time. A loose cannon yet again. Right now I can't consider trying again. Hubby has prostate cancer and is undergoing radiation so I need to be here corpus mentis. Actually the mentis (sp?) part is away with the fairies and somewhat miserable, but at least I'm doing my bit. Workwise and parenting wise. Also our youngest has had issues around not going to school. Anxiety at 11. Had to do counselling and local constable called in twice. Fun oh fun. Next year he has been accepted into the school he wants to go to for his last year before high school, so I hope he will be happy there.
Must dash as hubby home and need to work
StickyComment
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Progress thread for ne
Thanks for the info links Ne.Comment
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Progress thread for ne
STICKY!
Hiya, sister.
Dude, why is it that everyone always hears that I think they should "go for the switch"? Well, whatever. Who knows, maybe I even wrote that somewhere. I'm too lazy to look. (I rarely think that, for the record.)
What I remember thinking is that I hoped you were taking care of you. But it sounds as though your hands are really full. Sometimes, as much as it drives me nuts when it happens in my own life, circumstances make it hard to focus on personal priorities. (There was a meditation that we used to do in outpatient rehab that went something like, "Everything is [breath in], just as it should be, [breath out]." And all I could think at the time was, "um. Nope.
Things are not how they should be.")
I'm really sorry to hear about your husband, Sticky. That's really tough. I am glad that your son has gotten into a school that holds promise. I hope that you guys (and you in particular) are holding the pieces together, even if it takes double-stick duct tape and saliva. I know you're a powerhouse, but I would imagine everything is not how it should be.
Things 'round here are fine. We're done talking about the night and the drinking and have moved on to more pertinent and demanding things, like cleaning the gutters and clearing a space for a shed. I'm not experiencing full-on depression, but I can tell that if I don't take dramatic action, it'll happen. It's a hard thing to combat once it's arrived. I'm doing my best.
Nice to hear from you. I'm really glad you stopped by and posted. Hang in there, Sticky. :lComment
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Progress thread for ne
We cross-posted, Spirit. I wasn't suggesting that you slog through the whole of them, by the way! Just that they are there, and there might be something you want to pursue in them.spiritwolf333;1582160 wrote: Thanks for the info links Ne.Comment
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Progress thread for ne
Hi again
Just wrote another long post only to lose it. Bugger! The gist was you definitely suggested twice to keep increasing the dose to reach indifference as you had. That it was so worth it. And once I'm sure you suggested I take 2-4 weeks out to do so. If only it were that easy! Grr!
I imagine it is a good place to be. If I could ever have the months "out" it would take under my doc's advice. "Out" being trying to function, feeling depressed, barely coping, then not coping at all like the last attempt where I "only" got to 210.
If I were to ever try it again I would need hubby to give me the pills so I didn't OD again. I've told doc no more sleeping pills. My friend on bac has been put off going for the "switch" by my experience.
I can often just have 2 drinks, especially if I have cider rather than wine. I don't drink as often as I did on TSM. Ideally it will just be in the weekends. I will have to work on this and on getting enough sleep.
On that note I'm off to bed.
You take care
Sticky :lComment
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Progress thread for ne
That's Ne for you. :HSticky;1582285 wrote: The gist was you definitely suggested twice to keep increasing the dose to reach indifference. Grr!
HI STICKY!!
Great to see you! Sorry about things with hubby - sound like you have your hands full. But I'm glad you're hanging in there. Big hugs, love.Comment
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Progress thread for ne
Sticky, I've started a long response to you that I need to think about before I post. Let me just say that I'm sorry that I made you feel badly, that I know you are doing the absolute best that you can, and that I really want to support you in whatever way you need. I'm sorry I didn't do that or express that before.
I'm going to take a minute to write about myself, and I'll come back and respond more fully to your posts later. Maybe on your thread.
I'm reading and studying General Anxiety Disorder right now. I have to act like a patient with GAD for a group project for school.
I am shocked and dismayed and completely blown away by the symptoms. It's what I lived with for 20+ years, and what I'm going through now. Even with all of the experiences I've had with baclofen, and with therapy and sobriety and all of the research I've read about anxiety and addiction, I have never really seen myself as clearly as I do from reading about and listening to personal accounts of people with GAD.
And for the first time in several months, I'm feeling as though there might be a little bit of hope for feeling much better without Herculean effort. God, that would be so nice.
NIMH · Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)Comment
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Progress thread for ne
Ah, hell.
I'm still not sure what I wanted to say and that was endless and maybe pointless. Back with more later...Comment
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Progress thread for ne
NE - Don't feel bad at all. You are the one I look up to the most here. You were only trying to support me and you have been the best at that.
Stuck - hugs to you to too.
Maybe tomorrow I'll reinstate my thread. Or NE will. No promises though.
I expect I have suffered from GAD from birth & I haven't even looked at your link yet NE.
Not only does hubby have cancer but his sister hasn't spoken to him for months. This is because he had to ask her some hard financial questions on behalf of his mum. She cuts people out very easily. She is addicted to spending money but will never admit she has a problem! So hubby & I and our kids don't get to see my great-niece, niece & hubby, nephew and girlfriend. Bitch face sister-in-law has decreed it so. It is so upsetting as I don't have any family in NZ apart from my parents. My brother is probably dead in Bangkok. His 2 babies died of cot death. Thanks to alcoholism & cigarette smoking in the parents. Not attending regular health check ups. In my brother's girlfriend's case not knowing that she was pregnant for several months first time around. All my other rellies are in the UK and I haven't seen any of them for 19 years. Oh well. Maybe someday soon I'll be able to dance at a party with my sister-in-law again. She of anyone has been the most disrespectful about my alcoholism. She suffered from depression at one point, but OH NO it was nothing like what I have felt over & over. A pharmacist friend of hers whom she also cut out told me recently that she used to liken it to being a diabetic. As do many in AA. But OH NO Rhonda would much rather cut me out for 18 months and slag me off to all her friends and husband's family so she could feel better about herself. Even if I were in the same room as her, she would treat me like I didn't exist. Snarky cow. More like fucking bitch. Hubby called her that and she feels she needs an apology. What about get down off your high horse and treat your sick brother with the respect he deserves? She, hubby and mum-in-law have to sit down and sign some financial papers. Until all that's done I can't go to our accountant and pick up all our end of financial year (31 March) papers I provided for our 2 businesses. An email re this will be first on the agenda in a few hours whether hubby likes it or not. Also then he can apologise if he chooses for what he said. Those of us who want to can actually see each other. I in particular want to see my great niece. We had our kids late and if our boys wait as long as hubby did we won't meet our grandkids. I have a life threatening illness. Hubby has 2. Heart disease and now cancer.
Lack of sleep and seeing mum-in-law and nephew's girlfriend today resulted in another meltdown on my part. Now it is 12.38am. I'm forcing myself to stay up late as I should. Now will go try and get some sleep.
Sticky :upset:Comment
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Progress thread for ne
NE - Wow, we've been posting at the same time. No doubt it's not the middle of the night for you! Now I'm too tired to read it so will have a look tomorrow or later on if I still can't sleep!
:lComment
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Progress thread for ne
Hey K
Sleep eludes me. I'm now remembering a Shakespearian quotation, "Sleep, the innocent sleep...."
Is there an easy way to find my old thread? I don't really want to go back through the last 20 pages or whatever.
NComment
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