This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

red! great senior post! bienvenida al mundo de los seniores! good news for modern woman, huh?! i loved reading what you wrote. i remember reading your thread from the beginning (or close to it). you and i have kinda tag-teamed along the bac jaunt, and you've been such marvelous company! you ARE a heroine; your avatar fits 'cause you're also a warrior preistess. your story is an inspiration, especially to single mothers of the world (like me) who want to do right by their children. what a blessing to have come this far, through the gauntlet to the bright side of life, where you can live in the fullness that you are meant to do. hooray!

i'm sorry about the halloween grumps out there. you oughta just come here by my fire and notice the quiet. no lights on front porches. no spooks. no candy. no tricks. it's easy and nice.

boo!

[SlipperyPete]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red your av is pretty sweet, and so is yours, Bruun

LL, yours is...um...well I don't think I like you anymore.

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Loop, I'm not sure if I titrated past my switch dose or not. I kind of stacked my doses, so it's definately possible. Yes, though, I was thinking when I came down it might allow me some relief of SEs, but the feeling of indifference will remain. I've noticed the ones who have gone very high, and then come down by a substantial amount seem, more likely to remain indifferent (or maybe so it seems). I guess I'm a little worried about the repercussions of staying on this amount of bac for the very long haul. I'm sure most of us are.


Ru, yes we have shared a good part of this experience together. We single mothers are all warriors, to be sure! Especially the ones dealing with substance abuse, while trying to do all the other tough stuff that raising children requires.

So, now it's time to put my thread to rest for a good, maybe very long while. I have some big changes coming up, and I need to start focusing my energy on those. I'm not scared per se, I will only be if I don't start to get organized and focused on the future. Where I might want to live, going through this house (I've lived here for a decade), selling stuff and giving it away. When my Mom died, I took some of her stuff as well, and I have a decent amount in my basement (I wasn't thinking clearly enough at the time to decide then.) I need to go through all of that, and figure out what goes and stays. So, a break...again. This time it's a very decisive break. One I won't waffle on.

I'm kind of excited for the change, with it comes a whole slew of possibilites. I won't be excited, however, if I don't really start figuring it out. It could be a disaster if I don't.


I'll try to pop in to others' threads on occasion. There are so many I read, and so many of you I love.

xxoo,

Redhead

PS. Hi, Ne. I'm not sure if you're avoiding the latest drama or what, but I will try to copy my story onto your Success thread.

[Bruunhilde]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red, you must keep posting about your titrating down and how you do! :l

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

red, you gotta take care of you! good luck -so much luck- with figuring out how best to do that! being here can take up so much time and energy -as enriching as it also is- so i totally get your needing to bow out. of course i'll miss you -we all will- but, well, hitch your wagon to a star! i do hope you'll check in from time to time! (especially i'd love to know how goes going down, and new thoughts on implications (especially mental and emotional) of staying on hdb.

love you, sister!!!
xo xo xo xo rudy

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Um, Hello.

I decided to bring up my thread without a clue of where to begin. It's been a long time and a lot has happened. I'm hoping this won't be a long one, but it probably will. So, let's start at the beginning of my switch. I abandoned my thread. It wasn't just about my house being in foreclosure, although that is a looming presence. It was about other things, SEs and anxiety, and something going on behind the scenes which was contributing to it. All those things have since worked themselves out (well, not exactly there's current situation on MWO that's giving me a little anxiety, but I'm dealing.) So, it still has a presence in my life, but it's situational and I'm not sure there's any answer to it. I think it might be normal. The horrible baclofen driven anxiety is now gone. I'm rarely taking Xanax now. It seems to hit me much harder than it used to. If I am up and around, I can only take half of a .25 mg tab. I can take the .25 mg if I'm going to bed, and in that case, I sleep very well. I don't do it often.

I've also pretty much stopped taking my Adderall. I'm finding some issues with this, though. I have little get up and go. I think my adrenal glands, or whatever, are very used to the stimulant. I never developed tolerance, and quite frankly the stimulant (or locomotor effects, I know what it means now ) were bothersome to me at times. I felt every milligram of the Adderall, and I'm not a fan of the hyped up feeling. Sometimes I felt I needed something to make it go away...to bring me down (even a drink). I did/do enjoy the mental focus it gives me. I need it. My organization around here is shit without it. I've always been that way. I can't get organized without a deadline, classic ADD. I've ordered modafinil from an online pharmacy. I've done a decent amount of reading on it. It appears to be a pretty great drug for ADD (although it isn't getting prescribed for it) without the usual locomotor effects of the stimulants. It will give me mental focus without making me feel that I'm going to jump through the roof (which isn't good for anxiety, my friends). It is rather expensive, so this is a downfall. Unless I can find a MD to prescribe it to me. I'm going to ask mine, if it works. Right now, I take half a bronkaid twice a day. Just so I can move. Forget working out right now. :H

I saw Dr L a few weeks ago. I had switched at 240 mg and when I saw him, I was at 210 mg. We talked about much, and I should have written about it sooner. At the time, he felt I should have stayed at my 240 dose. Well, he always feels this way, but it's not necessarily what works for everyone. Most people. The biggest concern on my mind, was my SEs. I continued with some heavy duty SEs, the one of most concern is the forgetful/foggy thinking. It was like I had Alzheimers. I was also concerned about the anxiety and paranoia, of course. I can't work in critical care with Alzheimers, even with knowing my job well. I can't live with anxiety and paranoia. He felt it would work itself out at my switch dose of 240 (estimated I'd be normal in 2 months) and wanted me to go back up. I haven't. I'm staying at 210/220 right now. I don't think I have 2 months to feel that way.

He was concerned that something else I'm taking is causing many of my SEs. He wants a list of my supplements. I still haven't made it (I feel guilty with how much work he has to do to look everything up!) But I've gone off everything. I feel much better! I think something I was taking was contributing to my SEs majorly. I will eventually make that list, so others know. I've started reintroducing my supps one by one now, because I can't live with out them, or so I feel. They do many other beneficial things for me.

In regard to my drinking: I've always wanted to moderate. Don't all alcoholics want to be normal? I was successfully moderating for the most part. I've had times/episodes where I've drank too much (one that comes to mind is when I posted while drinking on Rudy's thread, at 200 mg. I had come down fast. I then went back up.) It does seem, I'm back to my roots. A light weight, as far as alcohol goes. My drinking too much is 3 glasses of wine, in which case, I'm feeling very intoxicated. So, for me moderation is a glass of wine, and two is starting to push it. That's acheivable on this dose (most of the time). I do think it's best if I don't drink. I can't come down if I do (or so it seems).

I'm not quite as evolved as so many of you are. I find social situations to be the worst of it, along with habit. The social part involving my coworkers is hard for me. I feel I need to have a drink just so they don't think I have a problem. I'm not ready to start talking about it with them. The other problem I have is seeing a glass of wine as a reward. After a long and grueling day at work, I want to have one. It's not about craving, but a gift to myself. So I remain a work in progress. But I'm much, much, better. I still can't believe what baclofen has done for my drinking. What it's done for my life!

That's all folks. This as usual turned into a long one, and it's all business and no pleasure. Maybe my next post will be less business oriented.

But I won't leave you without a song. I used to dance to this band in my diapers. It's best if you listen to it with your earplugs in. It's good.

http://youtu.be/aaw25N8yxNY[/video]]LEARNING TO FLY PINK FLOYD (WITH LYRICS) - YouTube

[taw]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Nice to see your thread back in action, Red!!!! Very glad the anxiety has lifted for you, I know that was bothersome and worrisome!

Thanks for the song....needed that to pick me up at work here!!!

Please keep your thread alive....we want to know!!

[taw]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Had to visit just to hear the song again..great pictures with the words.....
And people kept bugging me at work last night!!


Oh and wanted to bump your thread!

[LadyLush]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Red,

Wow with the Pink Floyd! Proud concert alumni here!
This song came out when I was in my prime! Between marriages and life was good.
Man, wish I could go back and regroup! I wish I could dismiss the alcohol from becoming the center of my existence.
But I can't.

Again, I wish I could party like I did and walk away for months; but I am not made up that way.

Baclofen is once again giving me control and I thank all of you for that.

Taw I am glad you are here and doing whatever it takes. Love this song Red and will be like Taw playing it again and again!

LL:l

[SlipperyPete]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Happy new years, Red :l

[redhead77]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Happy New Year, SP, taw, and LL!! :l

And everyone else too!

[spacebebe01]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Happy New Year to you Red:l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

And to you all, too!

[RudyB]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

red!

it's so great to read your update. it inspires me to return here after days of traveling (in vt) and going nowhere near a computer. it sounds like you're getting things figured out and balanced, bit by bit. i'll be so curious to read about your supplement list and any theories you may have about what has done what in terms of se's.

i have no recollection of any drink-influenced post of yours on my thread (where is that thing, anyway?!), but, true to red form, i'm sure it was undetectable as such.

just the other night i was talking with my very curious cousin about baclofen's se's, and how debilitating they can be. i mentioned my friend the high-responsibility nurse, and how challenging it has been for you to work out your baclofen dosing in that context. i raise my glass to you, my dear, for pulling through as you have. (please pardon the expression.)

oh, the treat factor in the glass of wine! i have the same thing. today i'll return to ny, and after a long drive i have almost always had a drink or several to reward myself for the safe journey i made, to say nothing of the 'unwind' factor. if it can stay at one or two drinks, i'm fine with that, but toeing the line can be pretty tricky and uncomfortable, can't it? i suppose i'm not 'switched' if i think of the booze as a treat, which brings it back to the question of 'to mod or not to mod', among other things.

airing personal stuff with colleagues is also tricky business, i can relate to that, too. (thank god i've gotten a finer filter over the years!) must be somewhat conflicting to have a glass to avoid the conversations that might ensue, but i don't blame you one bit.

anywhoot, thanks for the update, red. it's so nice hear from you about you.

a happy 2012 to you and all who read here!

xo rudy

[Bruunhilde]

This Redhead's Baclofen Thread

Hiya Red!

I've been off MWO alot lately, sorry I didn't see your post til now. Just avoiding the pc while I'm off work, since the only pc I can post to MWO on is the work one. Bleh. One day left of vacation and I'm back on the plane.

Anyways, about you and your post, thanks for that synopsis. The drinking thinking doesn't mean you're not switched, in my opinion. Its what Jason Vale calls the brainwash of the masses to romanticize that glass of wine and everywhere you look, people are drinking, or billboards and TV are advertising that you'll be fit, smart, gorgeous, sexy and desirable with that fabulous bubbly in your glass. The book might be a good read for where you sit today. You can read in bed, so a good excuse to not do laundry.

I relate to your inability to get anything organized unless there's a deadline. I used to have company over JUST for that reason, to force me to pretty-up the place. Well, also to try and be social. That ship has sailed, since I'm too lazy but the mess around here - the daily paper, the junk mail, the work papers, the coats, scarves, leashes, post-its, books and more books.... oh gawd, the mess. Not dirty mind you, but messy. Please post on how that other drug works for you, modafinil. I can't take the buzzy stuff like bronkaid but I do recall the cold/flu meds were miraculous in getting me doing chores and organization. Too bad my BP prohibits!

Welcome back, keep posting sister. :l