Me, myself and getting sober

[DizzyBee]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space

Otter, I wasn't coming on here going on about whether Space has anxiety. I happen to know her quite a bit. I was actually just mentioning something that my psychiatrist said because earlier in the threat Ne was saying to Space that she keeps mentioning depression but not anxiety.

I have years of experience with depression, anxiety and panic and I take medication for all of it. Both my parents also struggle with depression/anxiety/bipolar/epilepsy and I have made quite a study of this field as I'm a medical copywriter and translator. As part of my recovery journey, I have read the Baclofen book and taken Bac and although it didn't work for me I have seen it work miracles for others.

The only reason I did come here is to support Space, as this is her thread. I hate debates about medications etc. as I've never seen it achieve anything except ruffled feathers and people finally leaving the site. So, until I get my PHD (and that won't happen), all I will do here is offer my personal experience and support, while having the greatest respect for other people's experiences and opinions as no two of us are the same.

Space, I hate Rock Lobster song!, :nutso: Probably the most annoying song ever.

I'm sorry you are experiencing more cravings. You went up to 60mg of Bac from 50mg and you stopped the L-glut for a few days but did start taking it. Is there anything else that changed in your schedule that could perhaps have led to the increased cravings?

I know you mentioned that you were considering AB, so could it possibly be the fact that you were considering going cold turkey, as this is something we have discussed before?

I hate the fact that you have to wait so long to see a doctor. I hate the fact that they aren't more available to us. I have to also either fork out R1200 (which I mostly don't have) or wait a month to see a state doctor) Seeing a state doctor is so traumatic that I hardly bother as it means spending the day in a waiting room fool of people off the streets. Anyway, I just meant I can relate to you about how frustrating it is not always finding the proper medical care when we need it.

I hope you are feeling a bit better today,
See you later,
:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks to eveyone who has replied to me.

ARGGG Rock Lobster, Id forgotten about it and now its back, I cant have another day with it in my head I will go totally mad.:H Dizzy I think its just everything thats gone on in the past weeks, my back, my uncle and auntie, my mums biopsy and still waiting for the results over 3 weeks later, my son, my back again and not being able to do stuff I need to do. just the whole lot of stuff that I have no control over and cant do anything about really.

Im not going to do the AB, Ive got too much stress going on right now and I know it would be easy for me to do the enforced abstinence and go back down on bac because in my head I dont need to go up on it if Im not drinking and sorted, and then just say sod it and go for the vodka, Im feeling like that to start with anyway. I need to sort this out and work through it, I think carrying on going up with the bac right now is going to be what I need to do. I know what I just said probably doesnt make any sense to anyone else.

If you have cravings, you have anxiety. I have never thought of it like that before, thanks Otter, yep your right I do have anxiety right now, I dont think I mention it much because its always there at a low level, sometimes flaring up a bit like now but until Im at virtual panic attack state I dont recocnise or notice it. But that helps a lot because I can think about what to do about the anxiety and try to make some positive changes to deal with it, whereas I dont know how to deal with cravings coming up out of the blue when Ive gone so long without them.

OK Ne, we have breakfast, dinner and tea and sometimes supper when Im hungry of a night. When I say tea as in the meal I mean like dinner Its the main meal after work or school or whatever, we have it around 6pm, and when I say dinner I mean like your lunch. A lot of peeps here now have probably changed to the other way and do the lunch, dinner thing but thats pretty middle class talk I think. As with lots of things there is a class difference in what we call our meals, tea as in afternoon tea, when peeps have a cup of tea with sandwiches and cakes is posh and I dont know what time you would have that. Its confusing me now trying to explain it :egad:Ive no clue why we have so many different names for meals, dont know what youd get if you googled it, so I will do that later.

:lxx

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Oh I meant to say, we are lucky here with doctors really, I can see my gp doc anytime, usually within days, I can see any gp doc that day. This doesnt cost anthing its on NHS. To see my psychiatrist I do have to wait over a month for an appointment, also doesnt cost anything. If I needed to see an emergency psychiatrist I could go to the hospital and wait hours I think but I have never needed to do that. We also have a thing called crisis team for psychiatric emergencies but I have only contacted them once and they were just useless.

Some peeps here do have medical insurance Ive never had it so dont really know much about how that works. The can get into a private hospital very quickly I think and it will be a nice comfy hospital with extras like tv and stuff, but my uncle who died a few weeks ago always had cover because he worked in insurance so it came with the job but when he got Alzhimers he just got sent to NHS.

[DizzyBee]

Me, myself and getting sober

Sorry Space, I won't mention *that song* again.

I just wanted to say sorry if I came across too defensive, I woke up with a cold and then I discovered a fly in my coffee...not a good start to the day!

I agree wanting to drink causes anxiety and drinking actually adds to my anxiety big time. IMO I have underlying depression with anxiety that flares up on certain days and when I'm really lucky (not) the anxiety reaches a point of panic.

An Ne, I don't blame you for being confused with the "bloody Brits'" way of naming their meals :H It took me a year of living there to figure it out. But then, they did teach me how to tie the perfect scarf, so I have forgiven them. So basically just what she said in the last paragraph.

You are safe with breakfast and you can still say lunch with them knowing what you mean. But don't be surprised if someone asked you at 12:30 if you have had your dinner or at 4pm if you would like to have T-bone steak for your 'tea.' LOL. I think perhaps because its so cold and wet there people came up with lots of different meals. Don't forget about elevenses.

I think this clip from Lord of the Rings sums it up perfectly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDWR-dOjDA0[/video]]Pippin - Second breakfast - YouTube

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks for the explanations ladies.
I sort of got the tea...But Space you are always going on about your tea! I couldn't figure out if you were sitting down with crumpets and crustless-white-bread-sandwiches, a cuppa Earl Grey, or a snack of cookies and carrots with your kids! :H

Glad you're up and at 'em, Space. I won't mention the last song that got stuck in my head for a day or so. It was a children's ditty. And one that has all these menacing undertones. I was babysitting and a little boy had just learned it and wanted to sing it over-and-over-and-over-and-over-and-over. When his sisters got home from school they changed it to some teenage girl pop song and I swear the reason that Taylor Swift is so popular is because it is IMPOSSIBLE to remove the refrain from one's head.

:l

[DizzyBee]

Me, myself and getting sober

Just listen to any Britney Spears song, that should replace the previous one.

Thanks Ne. The visual of Space having 'high tea' with crustless cucumber sandwiches is the funniest one I've had in days. :H Especially if I add Gordon Ramsay on her left and the Queen on her right. LOL.

Something I find so great about this site is that it has gotten rid of quite a few stereotypes for me. Before I lived in London, I too used to think the British were a fancy bunch with high tea. Trust me, I sometimes wish I still had that image. I lived in a bad neighbourhood in North London surrounded by Jamaican smack heads with no high class English folk in sight. But being from South Africa, I didn't find that particularly scary.

I digress, before one gets to know someone or spends time somewhere you tend to generalize. Most people think South Africa is all about Sunshine, the Big Five, Nelson Mandela and apartheid. And I used to think all Americans are like those people we see on sitcoms and that Canadians are like a bit north of them and that Celine Deon is one of them. :H Oh, and I saw Southpark make fun of them too.

Now I'm meeting fantastic people from all over the world and they are shattering stereotypes left, right and centre and I love it.

My psychology lecturer used to say that is the only way to cure the world of racism. Have one hell of a party, invite people from all over the world, and tell every one to just act like themselves and not like they think they should i.e. people from China should not bring typical food from China but bring something they made at home, everyone should talk about general stuff that affects us all...

...and for godssakes, can we just call dinner, dinner and tea, tea...? :H

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Its 1.45pm and Ive just had my dinner

Ive been to the docs and am going for a scan thing on my spine. Its not an MRI scan, I cant remember what he called it, I have to have radioactive liquid either injected or drink it hes not sure which they do. So at least something is happening about it.

Feeling in a bit less of a flunk today..

[GingerDust]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, I'm glad you are feeling better. I'm also happy to be educated on on the whole "tea" thing. It is very confusing.

It sounds like you are going to have a CT scan. That's awesome. It will be great to finally know for sure what's up with your back.

Keep us informed, and keep on keepin' on. :l:l

[DizzyBee]

Me, myself and getting sober

Glad you're feeling better.
Of course you can call your lunch dinner and eat your tea if you like
Sheez, I think I would prefer an injection over drinking the stuff, you know what happened to Spiderman... Maybe you become SuperSpace! :H
Jokes aside, I'm really happy that this means we'll get to know what's wrong with your back.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I like the idea of SuperSpace, I will start designing my outfit now, I need to loose some weight before I go running round in a Lycra one piece tho:H

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space, I haven't checked in here for a few days, hope things are looking up here for you, I tend to see you on our Topa thread more, but I try to check here some also. I don't feel that I have much knowledge to offer on the Bac med part for you, but do want to just send positive energy to you, I'll help out in my way as much as I can.
xoxox
Play

[suneelca]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hey, Space -- what's shakin'?

Catching up on your stuff. First, didn't read back far enough about your spine?

In any case, I found that most of my health and substance use issues have gone away since I started taking Baclofen.

The biggest struggles have been with getting off other meds. I have been trying for five months to get off Seroquel. Not trying to discourage you, but, boy, is that some nasty shit to get off. Does not mix well with Baclofen for me. Leaves me feeling like a zombie. But experience bad anxiety every time I try to get off of it.

On the spine, at the risk of having this be another 'I've been saved!' posts -- I have had bad lower back problems / sciatica that have mostly gone away since I've started taking Bac.

Trying to shed every med except Bac. That plus diet and exercise seem to be enough.

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space :l

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

spacebebe01;1321813 wrote: I like the idea of SuperSpace, I will start designing my outfit now

YES! I imagine your outfit being a variation of your birdie avatar. Holy shit, that would be awesome.

And I hope they figure out what's wrong with your back. While making you a superhero.
:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I very tired today, and definately not superhero material.

Glad your health problems are sorting themselves out Sun, since Ive been taking seroquel Ive been very unsure about whether I want it or not, or what its doing for me, the crap that I get in my head is pretty well not there anymore but Im not sure I think that may have been the case on the venlafexine before the psychiatrist changed my meds. I know Im really stuggling to stay awake of a day and most days I dont but today I have to, Im a bit worried about collapsing somewhere or dozing of at the wheel. But with me taking so many meds I dont know which one is doin g this to me. I se the psychiatrist next month so will wait and see what she has to say then also if I feel strong and stable enough to change anything. I want to be able to start living my life again tho. If you dont mind me asking Sun what where you prescribed Serequel for. I get it because of bipolar.

Thanks to everyone else who has sent me good wishes, I do appreciate it so much. Today I feel like Im heading into another depressive slump, without having even come out of the last one really. And as well as having to take my auntie to the hospital today to visit my uncle, I have gone and invited the friend who I didnt see for over 20 years until about 2 months ago and have then been putting her off, when I have invited her round tomorrow. I am super stressed about it, I need to clean the house and then what do we talk about? This is why I dont have friends, its too much effort, mind you I used to have friends this is a thing thats happened over the past few years. Dont know why.

T