Giving up....in a good way!

[ifulovelife2]

Giving up....in a good way!

Ne, Reggie, I don't want to feel left out: I love you both too! In fact I love you all. Whether you're good people trying to make the most of the shitty cards you've been dealt and working your way out or if you're heartbroken, desolate, despairing and driven to troll these boards, causing trouble. We're all ...broken ...we all need to be fixed and loved. Anyhoo, enough of all that old bollocks:

taw;1368461 wrote: ha...my song just came one...guess things won't get better...wish I knew how to post a song...it is wade bowen, why cant you love me.....ugh...all I have to say!!!

Taw, I can't find that song on YouTube. There is a Wade Brown song called 'She Don't Love Me'. Is that teh one? I hope not, cos it's shit:H, but nonetheless, here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rb_cRTxO0Tc[/video]]wayne wade - She don't love me - YouTube

This is my song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocioqeenLuE[/video]]Madness - It Must Be Love OFFICIAL VIDEO - YouTube

I insist that everyone who reads this post, listens to the song. When it came out in 1981 I was sweet 16. (Actually, I was a little fuck at 16 but nevertheless.) These words:
"Nothing more, nothing less, love is the best." had a huge impact on me. I believed them. I still do.

So much better than "If you go from rags to riches, you'll find the bitches", don't ya think? :H

[Supercrew]

Giving up....in a good way!

Reggie;1368614 wrote: Sigh ...Crew ..what part of PM ( PRIVATE message dont you understand?) you claim to be a smart guy and to miss represent what I posted in a PRIVATE message speaks volumes about you ..get over ya self ..this song for you ..and I have freed up a special spot for you in my box :H

sorry Taw I was referring to this person and his views on people seeking to change their lifes in other ways apart from dooor to door salesmanship In A PRIVATE PM he thought he was being smart and clever by bringing it up on your thread ..never let a dick head spoil ya day my father used to say for you Crew:H since you dont understand the concept of private messaging

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JoKJsjtLxw[/video]]Denis Leary - I'm an asshole - YouTube

Sorry Reggie, and I enjoy Denis leary, but you sent me an unprovoked PM insulting me and calling me names, then you call me a "dick head" in this thread. I don't know you, I have never read a post of yours until last night, yet you feel like dedicating the "asshole" song to me????

You are a class act!

[ifulovelife2]

Giving up....in a good way!

Supercrew;1368693 wrote: You are a class act!

Yeah, you're right: Reggie certainly is a class act. He's a class above most people I know. I'm glad you recognise that.

I have no idea what you two are talking/bickering about but do us all a favour and take it to (and keep it to) Private Messaging, OK? Thanks.
Big love. :l
Mx

[Supercrew]

Giving up....in a good way!

ifulovelife2;1368695 wrote: Yeah, you're right: Reggie certainly is a class act. He's a class above most people I know. I'm glad you recognise that.

I have no idea what you two are talking/bickering about but do us all a favour and take it to (and keep it to) Private Messaging, OK? Thanks.
Big love. :l
Mx

MX, I don't disagree with you because I don't know Reggie. All I know is I received a PM last night from a person I don't know, and it attacked me personally and it attacked my method of sobriety, telling me "my way was pure rubbish". I had no way to respond because their inbox was conveniently full, so I tried to find out why this person would attack me and my method of sobriety. I fiqured I would contact Reggie through the forum to find out why someone I don't know or never had contact with would want to insult me out of the blue. All is good now, Reggie made space in the inbox.

Thx!

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

So I have to tell you all I drank last night. Alot. And to deal with the disgust and guilt today guess what I am doing...yep, drinking! WTF is wrong with me???

My car has been in the shop all day, new brakes, joy! Let me just pull that $$ out of somewhere! So could not get to my sons baseball game, he is with his dad this weekend so at least he won't see me drinking. Guess no amount of sober time will allow me to drink normal. When will I figure this out? Am I that stupid???


Back on the AB tomorrow....I feel like such an igit!!

[windycitylady]

Giving up....in a good way!

I only have a minute, Taw, but I wanted to tell you...
It's not the end of the world that you drank. It's a bump in the road. You'll get through this. Take that AB tomorrow!!
Tons of hugs, and I'll be back later tonight to see how you're doing!
Don't beat up on yourself!!
Love ya!!

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Absolutely not the end of the world. You're OK, you're at home. And you've got a plan. So there's a tiny hiccup, these happen.

Lots of love, and hope you're doing all right today/tonight. And tomorrow's... well, the Lord's day soooooooo....

Sorry, hang in, Taw.

:l. All of them. :l:l

[windycitylady]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hey T! My phone was dead until 3 AM last night, so I didn't get back here. Looks like you didn't either though.
PLEASE don't let this throw you off track! How much time did you have before you drank - a month and a half? If I remember correctly, that's the most time you had since pregnancy and rehab. That's huge! I know that your son's been so happy to have you back.
This is a setback, that's all. Unless you let it go on and turn into something worse. I hope this doesn't sound like a lecture, it's not. I just care so much about you and want to see you happy again. But no judgement. Definitely no judgement.
Get yourself some coffee, oj, a good breakfast, and follow it with a delicious AB! You can do this! And you've got all of us cheering for you.
Hugs and love, sweetheart. If you need anything at all, PM me or text me.
You're the sweetest, T. Don't forget how many friends you have here that love you.

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hey Taw, absolutely just a hiccup. A month and a half is ginormously huge. (OK, maybe "ginormous," as a stupid combo of gigantic and enormous, went out of fashion in the late 90s. It's so difficult to keep up with the slang these days.)

Whatever, you've worked damned hard, and you've earned every bit of your sobriety. And yeah, I'll say you've even earned a slip up. They happen. To almost everyone, if not actually everyone.

That's all, just a little perspective from the outside looking in. Love and :l

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Thanks everyone! Poured everything out this morning. took an AB...back on track! I don't want to feel like this anymore!

Hope your move is going smoothly Windy! inbetween raindrops anyway!

Your support here means the world to me! Thank you again!!!

[Supercrew]

Giving up....in a good way!

ifulovelife2;1368497 wrote: thanks for the song reg. i will play it when im not on this stupid kindle. taw likewise i would post that one for you and maybe one of my own : madness it must be love. dunno why. just cos.



LOL. why does it not surprise me NN and FN were friends. the pair of tossers.

ive played both rugby and americanfootball and i can tell you with great certainty that rugby makes american football look like a game suitable for pre teen girls not men.. kinda like ice hockey which in my book is only one short step removed from figure skating. and dont even get me started on baseball which in this country is called rounders and even the little girls stop playing it by the time they reach ten years old because it is so bloody boring.
:H

I have played American Football as you call it, all the way through college, and I have dabbled in Rugby, the only guys who play rugby here are the guys who couldn't make the football team....and baseball is only boring to watch...and if you aren't good at it when you play. What level of american football did you play?

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Yeah OK so I've been hyper all day. It's kinda cool, except for being hyper and still trying to sit still in front of the computer. Hmmm. And I'm not really sure why I'm going to put this on your thread... Maybe just so you've got sort of a pep rally here.

After 2 pots of coffee I got up and f-cking cleaned n' sh-t. Scared the crap out of my cats, too. They hate it when I'm active, just because they're confused. It confuses me, too. But anyway so organized the desk, all the papers and folders and xerox copies and books stacked everywhere, they're all... stacked somewhere else now. And I swiffered! No more freaking cat fur all over like a blanket on the laptop. And since the swiffer was out? Did bookcases (6), ceiling fan blades (4, and dear God, I really shouldn't smoke in my bedroom... 'cause damn), and typewriter (1, because the other one is safely tucked away in its case). Then... wait for it... vacuumed.

And if you like vacuuming, or if you don't but have to do it anyway, I highly recommend a Dyson. Because that Australian dude is not bullsh-tting you, it really does not lose suction. And it's like a Category III hurricane or somesuch nonsense. God, I miss the firefighting days when I got what you could call paychecks... and yes, I'm the guy who will walk into a Target and drop $600 on a vacuum cleaner when I have money.

Sooooo, yeah. That's my day in a nutshell. Now I think I'll go pour myself a... WTF is there to drink? All I can figure is tons of water. Don't know why it feels so boring, though. I mean, I only ever drank 1 kind of cheap beer and 1 kind of whiskey most of the time anyway... So it's not like I'm really craving variety or anything...

Hope you're having a great day, Taw! (And everyone else!) :l:l:l

~Stuck

[redhead77]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hi Taw,

Sounds like you've had a minor setback but now you're getting back on track. :yougo: Since you said you don't mind if we talk about the mundane, and apparently Stuck has listened with his tales of house cleaning (sorry Stuck :H) I'll go on too. I didn't bother cleaning my house today. I stayed up cleaning till 12:30 on Friday night. I need to get a better schedule now that all the kids are in school a few days a week. I had to work on Saturday, a 12 hour shift, so I was hurting a little. But I'm used to it. I usually clean when it's very late and the kids are in bed.

I took all the kids to a matinee today. That's a big thing since my daughter has been too young to sit through a movie. She did freak a little during the previews. It gets very loud and all the images on the big screen scared her. She started crying and told me she wanted to go home. :wahh: I talked her through it, and we ended up with a great movie experience. I only had to leave the theatre once to take her to the bathroom.

We chowed tons of buttery popcorn and guess what else? Peanut M&M's. Yup. Everyone's been talking about them and I had a serious craving. I have to admit, I got home and had a tummy ache. ops: But it only lasted an hour or so and it was worth it.

Anyway, just wanted to tell you I heart you and offer my support. :soothe:

Can you tell I'm having fun with the emotis tonight?

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

I am still mortified and disgusted with myself. And I know I need to let go or I will drink again. I have taken the AB yesterday and today. I just want to cry and really have someone give me an honest to goodness answer to WHY???? :upset: I feel like everyone deals with so much more crap than I do, what gives me the excuse to drink??

I feel like all the sober time I built up just went to shit! All I can do from here is keep taking the AB, and not drinking. I am not even going to toy with bac right now...obviously the 80mg I was on did nothing. I need to accumualte some more sober time again. And maybe once and for all realize no amount of drinking is in my future, ever, again!

Thanks for all the support, everyone! I cannot tell you how much it means to me and how much I appreciate you all!! :l

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

Taw, don't beat yourself up. I too go AF then blow it. I find going down this path makes me realize more and more that life is so much better without alcohol and so much harder with it. And I don't know about you, but I don't even get anything out of it. It's mostly emotional - it eats up time I spend bored because if I'm hung over I am not as bored, I'm just in pain. That's a stinky trade off.

I've done this yo-yo a number of times in the past few months. Seems day 4 is my day of weakness. Boredom and stress together are my demons.

I am thankful that I get such stomach pain from drinking ... it makes it more of a hardship to drink. I was awake Saturday night until 5am with gut pain like I've never remembered ... seems it gets worse with each repeat drinking bout. And I just keep reminding myself, drinking the wine didn't do anything for me, except feed my Stinking Thinking! I didn't get high, I didn't get happy. Did you?

Arg. I just think I'm heading to a place of freedom from hurting myself. It becomes more and more clear to me.

How do you feel today, Taw? And how was the drinking experience?